Surviving Your In Laws

by Mike on November 3, 2011

in Mike, Newborn Identity

Everyone has been talking this week about the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries divorce, and how these crazy kids called it quits after just seventy-two days. Some say it was because the whole thing was fake, but if you ask me I say it ended because of something that causes a lot of tension in many, many marriages… In-laws.

For those lucky few of you who have somehow avoided Keeping Up With The Kardashians, the Kardashian/Jenner family is truly the nightmare in-law family from hell. Check out the welcome mat these people rolled out for Kris Humphries:

  • Kim’s sister, Khloe, was openly hostile toward Humphries, rolling her eyes and peppering him with snide, disrespectful comments whenever he entered the room. As if that wasn’t enough, this charmer of a sister-in-law decided THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY was the right time to accuse him of being opportunistic and using Kim for her fame (despite the fact he was an NBA basketball player and not a video store clerk hoping to sell his science fiction screenplay).
  • Kim’s mom, also named Kris, made it clear to her daughter that she didn’t like Humphries, and then talked her out of changing her last name to “Humphries,” claiming it would be bad for “business” (never mind whether it would be good for the “marriage”). This monster-in-law also made sure to shoot down every single suggestion Humphries made about the wedding.
  • Overall, the entire family was so cold that Humphries sought out the council of Scott, the baby daddy of Kim’s other sister, Kourtney.  Scott basically told Humphries the family will ride him until he “earns” his spot, and that he needs to treat them with kid gloves because they will gang up on you. Scott also said that even after six years of being with Kourtney he still doesn’t feel like a member of the family. No wonder he hasn’t popped the question yet.

Making matters worse is that Kim defended her family’s actions to Humphries as opposed to telling her family to show her fiancee some respect. Even if Kim had done that, however, the tension between Humphries and his in-laws would have made their marriage difficult.

Luckily for me I get along well with my in-laws, and only have one brother-in-law to interact with instead of a brother and… yikes… four sisters like Humphries (briefly) had.

Don’t get me wrong… a marriage can, of course, work even if your in-laws are difficult, but it sure does make life easier if they aren’t. Even so, anyone considering tying the knot should realize that they are committing themselves for life not just to their partner, but to their family too. And if the in-laws are psycho, well, let’s just say that is going to make for quite a large number of long, LONG holiday dinners.

In the case of Kris Humphries, I don’t think he gave enough consideration to what he was getting into. In fact, I’m willing to bet he was too busy focusing on his ex-wife’s ass to see the family full of asses standing close behind it.

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{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Glenda November 3, 2011 at 1:53 am

Kim feels her name is a brand… her career is in LA and there was no way she would ever move to MN with him. Obviously it’s all about her. The only reason who found out about Kim is the tape she made with Ray J and hanging with Paris Hilton at the time.

Kris is younger than Kim and obviously “in lust” that he didn’t give it much consideration. I’m sure he was told when you marry A KARDASHIAN you marry the entire family! I’m sure Scott has his reasons why he hasn’t married into the family just yet. (just my 2cents)

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2 Kate November 3, 2011 at 2:42 am

I agree with all of this with this exception of Kim changing her name. In reality I don’t think Kim should have had to change her name, and let’s face it, for better (or worse!!) she is known world wide as a Kardashian. I guess this issue is particularly close to me because I’m a doctoral student who publishes papers under my current name. When I get married and if I’m umming and ahhing over the issue I hope someone (and in particular my husband-to-be) has the smarts to remind me that the best decision would be for me to keep my name (at least in a professional capacity)

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3 Mike November 3, 2011 at 9:54 am

I agree Kim should keep her last name for her professional work since she is so well known as a Kardashian, but she could have changed her name to Humphries in her private life. My problem with Kim’s Mom here was that it seemed as if changing her name was important to Kim and perhaps an important part of the marriage bond (at least in Kim’s eyes), but Kris Jenner was totally against it and wouldn’t discuss compromises or the like (at least as far as what we saw on TV).

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4 Brandy November 3, 2011 at 3:05 pm

I agree with you here Mike. There are a LOT of celebrities that keep their public name but privately use a married name to honor their partner. And really, I worked for a doctor who was known by her maiden name and continued to use that name in her professional life but I did her business and personal books and in reality her legal name was changed to her husbands. If you want it to work then you can make it work.
Brandy´s last [type] ..Over It

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5 msmehitable November 3, 2011 at 8:19 pm

(Caveat: I agree with Mike and am pretty appalled at the behavior of these people, and don’t believe any parent should express an opinion on whether or not their offspring changes their name at marriage.)

However, I am one who did not change my name upon marriage. I always knew I’d keep my name, and my husband is 100% supportive, and we are going on 10 + years together. Just want to reassure Kate that not changing your name is really no big deal at all, and you can still have a strong marriage. And it is easy can be to flip flop around–I use my husband’s name socially all the time. And in many states, it is perfectly legal to go by whatever name you want, and only use your legal name for legal documents.

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6 HeatherJ November 3, 2011 at 9:31 pm

I adore my husband whom I am deeply committed to AND I kept my own name (because it’s … my name). Those things are not mutually exclusive.

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7 Blue November 4, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Amen, sister. I am wincing away from the entire Kardashian family but Kim not changing her name? Not even remotely a big deal. That’s something my grandpa would blame for a failed marriage, not anybody I know.

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8 Kimberly November 3, 2011 at 4:05 am

Nice, Mike! Yes, Kris’ focus was definitely blurred on this one!

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9 KWM November 3, 2011 at 4:13 am

Hey Mike :)

I hate to say it, but I think you’re way off lol! Not sure if you regularly follow the show, but Kris was actually shown being incredibly rude toward Kim’s family on a regular basis, and I would argue that he really initiated the hateful behavior. (Ex: making mean jokes about Khloe’s weight… Totally innapropriate, especially since he had only known her for a couple of months!) Also, wouldn’t you be suspicious as a family member if some guy you barely knew came along and proposed to your sister/daughter with a 2 million dollar ring after having known her for 6 months??

Oh!! Another example: Kim and Kris were discussing their living situation, and when Kim said she couldn’t imagine living in Minnesota because of her career, he cut her off saying “Baby after you have a few kids no one will care about you anyway!” I mean, really?? Im not exactly Kim’s number one fan, but girl has a lot going on, there’s no denying that. Who is this doofus trying to minimize what her “career” aspirations are?

Comparing him to Scott doesn’t help his case either, seeing as how he has caught red-handed SEVERAL times cheating on Kourtney, and the cheating began within the first few months of the relationship … He always comes clean, swears he’ll change, and is back at it in a little while. Furthermore, he seems to have a pretty serious drinking problem, and he’s become really loud and aggressive in public places, to the point that he’s been kicked out of restaurants – this happened during filming and in “real life”.

I guess what I’m saying is that the failure of this marriage is both Kim and kris’ (the husband) fault. They jumped into something without really knowing each other; Kim even released a statement saying she suspected it was a bad idea before the wedding, but there were so many people invested in the event that she didn’t want to let anyone down. Two silly, superficial people threw themselves a big wedding for dumb reasons; I don’t think her family (despite their admittedly crazy, famewhoring ways) had much to do with the demise of their relationship, I just think they could see it coming from a mile away.

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10 Mike November 3, 2011 at 10:04 am

Hi KWN,
All good points! I definitely agree with you that both Kris Humphries and Scott D. are immature, rude, and have issues. Not guys I would want to know. But I wanted to write a post about the negative influence in-laws can have on a relationship, so I didn’t call them out for who they are. But I’m glad you did!

On a sidenote..I’m also a believer that – in many cases – the person you choose says a lot about you, and if Humphries and Scott are the mates Kim and Kourtney chose that says a lot about them!

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11 Jacqueline November 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm

That statement is very true (about the partner you choose saying a lot about you) especially since I just finished discussing that with my Psychology professor.

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12 Cinthia November 3, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Didn’t Khloe and Lamar get married after a month? I thought that was a bit more suspicious.

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13 KWM November 3, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Yes they did marry extremely quickly – not something that I (or most ppl) would recommend… I think the difference though is that Lamar has always been exceedingly polite and warm toward the Kardashian family, whereas Kris was snotty and I’ll-mannered from the get go. Plus, you gotta give it to them, Khloe and Lamar’s relationship still seems to be going strong (so far, of course)!

… And I have to say: I am so incredibly ashamed to know so much about this family :/

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14 Terri November 3, 2011 at 4:22 am

Yep, I agree. That marriage was doomed from the start. Those people are a circus! Whoever tries to step in the middle of that doesn’t have much of a chance.

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15 Kim Wencl November 3, 2011 at 5:20 am

Kris Humphries will soon realize he is lucky to be out. Get an annulment and banish it from your memory. The Kardashian’s are nothing but a media nightmare. Their 15 minutes of fame should have ended a long time ago.
Kim Wencl´s last [type] ..Open to Hope Radio

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16 AmyinBC November 3, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Have only watched their show twice and confess both times I could not watch it all as I was so DISGUSTED by this family and their values, ethics and behavior.

Kris go find a REAL person with real feelings.. Not someone who is only out there trying to make a buck however she can. Because remember, the reason this family is famous is because Kim did a sex tape and then posed for Playboy while hanging out with P Hilton in her prime. Cannot believe how much they all whored themselves out for fame and fortune.

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17 Mia November 3, 2011 at 5:56 am

Lol. Fantastic finish.

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18 susanmig November 3, 2011 at 6:27 am

kardashaWHAT?? ;)

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19 Lisa_in_WI November 3, 2011 at 6:51 am

Well stated, I couldn’t agree more!

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20 karen November 3, 2011 at 7:05 am

I think Scott proposed to Kourtney in the Kim & Kourtney in NY series and she said no. I’m a little embarrassed to know that!

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21 Janeen November 3, 2011 at 4:27 pm

He didn’t officially propose because right before he was gonna do it Kourtney mentioned that she liked their relationship the way it was and didn’t want to change it. He then took the ring back without her knowing. I think she is the one that is afraid to comment, not Scott. haha. oh and i am not embarrassed to know this cause the show is a favorite of mine due to the trainwreck appeal. :)

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22 Stephanie November 3, 2011 at 7:14 am

My favourite part of this post is how well you know the Kardashian/Jenner clan. I would also like to give props to Bruce. He seems like the only ‘normal’ one in the family.

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23 Trisha November 3, 2011 at 7:18 am

Agreed!! IT was more of a business opportunity than a marriage for her and he was just so in lust he went along with it all. The family exhausts me and I just can’t even watch the train wreck anymore.

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24 Mariah November 3, 2011 at 7:23 am

I just have to interject one thing – PLEASE DO NOT GIVE SCOTT ANY CREDIBILITY. He (at least from what has been on their shows… in the media… how he portrays himself in public…) is a manipulative, abusive man with anger control issues. The family hasn’t been accepting of him because he cheated on Kourtney numerous times, got in a physical fight with Rob (the brother), punched out a mirror when his baby was in the apartment, etc. He’s a creep and while some people might not like the family, I would never wish a lifetime with Scott upon anyone – even the Kardashians.

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25 Mia November 3, 2011 at 8:03 am

I was just going to say this….the guy has continually made an ass of himself over and over and had a drinking problem ad then an entitlement problem…there’s a reason why he doesn’t feel like part I the family. Because they’re reluctant (as hey should be) o let him back in to the circle after his behavior.

And I think he actually has proposed to Kourtnee (or whatever ridiculous way she spells her name) two or three times.
Mia´s last [type] ..A great idea snowballs…..

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26 Rachel November 3, 2011 at 9:04 am

What scares me is how Kris wants Kourtney to marry Scott. He is an addict who thinks he can control his drinking…dear lord. He needs in patient and Kourtney needs Nar-Anon. She is really an abused girlfriend of an alkie. He is such a control freak and she lets him back in again and again because she has no boundaries. (Should I tell you I’m married to an ex-addict and have spent way too long around rehab peeps?)
Rachel´s last [type] ..I Really Thought I’d Be Okay

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27 Mike November 3, 2011 at 10:06 am

Agree with all of you on Scott. The guy makes my skin crawl.

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28 Bella November 3, 2011 at 7:24 am

I have to disagree. Do you think that he had never seen the Kardashians tv show? That he hadn’t seen what it was like for Scott? If it was so horrible why did he ask her to marry him in the first place? In-laws can be bad, but he seemed to go into the relationship with a crappy attitude to start… After all Omar is still there and so is Scott, even after all the drama they have given him.

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29 Su November 3, 2011 at 9:24 am

I agree with this. I think he knew what he was getting into. And as for the whole Khloe thing, Kris was a jerk as well. You can’t blame is all on the Kardashians. He wasn’t willing to make any sacrifices either. Like the stupid dog thing. (yes I watched the wedding special even though I haven’t watched this show in like 2 years). I mean really. Why would you want your dog in your bed instead of your wife? IDK. I think he was a jerk and while he was/is an NBA ball player he for sure wasn’t make as much money as Kim. I think they both jumped the gun and didn’t think it through, but I don’t think it was for publicity on Kims part because I think it hurt her more than helped her. Shoot I could write a book on what’s wrong with them both. Although yes the Kardashians are a bit weird, but behind closed doors we ALL are.

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30 Bella November 3, 2011 at 7:25 am

Oops, forgot to add that Scott was going to ask Kourtney to marry him, but she said that she didn’t want him to.

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31 Hallie November 3, 2011 at 7:32 am

This family has been on television for so long, the kid had to have known what he was getting himself in to. I don’t feel bad for him; he appeared rude to me.

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32 Christina November 3, 2011 at 8:49 am

It is NOT that hard to be one of the lucky few who hasn’t seen that TV show. Trust me.
Christina´s last [type] ..(Ten and) One-Year Anniversary

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33 Andee November 3, 2011 at 9:04 am

“I’m willing to bet he was too busy focusing on his ex-wife’s ass to see the family full of asses standing close behind it.”

Truth yo!

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34 tauni November 3, 2011 at 9:11 am

Saddest part is I think that she accomplished her goal…get people talking about her!!! Never mind the little thing called MARRIAGE and causing a lot of heart ache. She had to immediately take this all to the media, before even giving Kris the heads up. She is so “heartbroken”…heartbroken over the fact that now she is being made out to be the villain rather than the misinformed, duped bride.

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35 Julie November 3, 2011 at 9:20 am

I, as a rule, do not watch these types of shows. But one rainy weekend my daughter was out with friends and I found myself home alone with a Keeping Up marathon playing on E. I got sucked in! It isn’t my fault! It was the rainy day!!

Anyway….Anyone who has been in a relationship could see that this wasn’t going to work, right from the beginning. She couldn’t stand his dogs. That’s all the man needed to know.

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36 Summer November 3, 2011 at 9:25 am

Oh and HE asked her to marry HIM. I know some shootgun weddings do work, but like many here have said you could see from the get go it wasn’t going to work out.

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37 Rachel November 3, 2011 at 9:26 am

Mike, you’re awesome. That ass comment will go down in history.

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38 Shan November 3, 2011 at 10:16 am

I watch the show, when there is nothing else of interest on..and read a tidbit here or there. It’s sad that the marriage didn’t last..even if it was a “Hollywood Marriage”. Excellent post though, very well said!
Shan´s last [type] ..The Last One

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39 Pattie November 3, 2011 at 10:23 am

I don’t/won’t watch that show or anything associated with these parasites. I’m in the “not surprised at all” camp, though, regarding news of this divorce (not surprising since it was a TV-stunt wedding in the first place).

Your last sentence in this post kills me. Very well said!
Pattie´s last [type] ..Halloween 2011: Behold Baby Gaga!

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40 Susan A November 3, 2011 at 12:04 pm

That was a great post!

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41 Carrisa November 3, 2011 at 12:09 pm

I don’t watch this show or know much beyond what gets splashed on the internet here and there. I do think that family is one big hot mess though. And it’s just another case of people not taking marriage seriously. People jump in and out of it too quickly. And reality tv is total crap. Between the real housewives, the jersey shores, the teen moms, and these weirdo Khardashians, it’s no wonder this country is full of a bunch of misguided, self-absorbed, self-entitled people who don’t want to work for anything.

And that’s how Sue C’s it.

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42 CM November 3, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I definately agree that Kim’s family played some part in this but I also think it was pretty clear from the start that Kim and Kris just weren’t a good match. I actually really like Kim but she is much to uptight and mature for Kris. I think Kris was just blinded by her fame and her looks and money and I am sure they did have some chemistry. I think Kim just wanted to get married and it didn’t matter so much to whom. I just think she quickly realized this was not the right person for her.

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43 Jacqueline November 3, 2011 at 4:12 pm

I think he knew what he was getting into but figured that if he came from the beginning with such a strong attitude (the way he would talk to them & act like an ass) then they wouldnt walk all over him the way they do with all the other men in that family. He even mentioned it a few times… that he wanted to have some control & not be like Bruce & Scott who have no voice in that family.

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44 Lenora November 4, 2011 at 10:14 am

Alright, sadly, I do have to admit that I know too much about these people. I think Kim wanted to be married too much and ignored the signs that this guy was an ass; I had a friend like that, where there were all kinds of red flags about him but she wanted to get married so much she just ignored them. Yes, I do think this family is something of a mess but I mostly think Kris is an ass and at this point isn’t a good husband for anyone. I think he’s a big macho guy who wants a little woman who will stay home and clean the house and raise the kids. Boy, did he pick the wrong person.

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45 Marie November 4, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Every time I tuned in to the show (I got sucked in by Khloe’s marriage) it was Kim and another hunk going into a hotel room. NFL, NBA, Aussies you name it. If Kris (the husband) had bothered to watch a little he would have seen that she was pretty well used. He didn’t even know she had been married before until the engagement party.
The only normal one seems to be Bruce and he really gets no respect. Mama controls the whole family.
I do think that maybe it was just a publicity stunt – after all they got paid 17,000,000.00 to get married. hmm
And while I have not watched the wedding because I cannot stand to, I am also done watching the Kardashians. I will not be a party to giving them one more red cent for being sluts on tv.
Sorry Mike for that word!

Hugs from Minnesota
Marie

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46 Ray November 4, 2011 at 10:28 pm

What you said is all true, but I still believe he married her for fame. Sure he’s an NBA player, but he’s not even a well known player. Let’s just hope Kim doesn’t plan to get married again anytime soon. ;o/

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47 Ray November 4, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Kim Kardashian’s former publicist also believes that this marriage was just a publicity stunt. Stating that he helped her fake an engagement with ex-(supposedly) fiance Reggie Bush. Doing things like going into a jewelry store, to make it seem to the Paparazzi, like they went in to buy an engagement ring. So if she’s capable of doing that, to gain more fame…? Who’s to say she wouldn’t do it again? And she did (as I now remember). Trying to get another Sports Player to agree to a fake engagement, by telling him that he would get famous off of it. To which he (smartly) declined.

Sigh.

The things people stupidly do for MORE fame.

Where has the respect for Marriage gone???

P.S. Aside from all that: I love that you watch the show with Heather. =P

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