Fancy Cupcakes Ain’t Nothin’ But Trouble

After our ordeal at urgent care on Saturday poor little Annie immediately fell asleep in her car seat. Heather too was spent, and decided that we deserved a little pick-me-up.

“A cupcake shop just opened ahead,” she said as I pulled onto the street. “It’s supposed to be amazing!”

“Forget it,” I groaned.

“Why?”

“I’m sick and tired of all these freakin’ cupcake shops. There’s suddenly one on every corner.”

“People like cupcakes.”

“Not for my first thirty-four years of life they didn’t. What’d everyone do? Get to together last year and decide what the world was missing was cupcakes?”

Heather let out one of those sighs that all smart husbands know not to ignore.

“Alright,” I said. “Where is it?”

*****

We pulled up to the shop and decided that Heather would run in and grab herself some goodies, and then when she returned I would go in and pick something out for myself.

“Just don’t go crazy in there,” I told Heather as she started out. “One or two cupcakes is enough.”

Five minutes later Heather returned carrying a gigantic box.

“What the heck is that?”

“I know, I know.  It’s just that everything looked so good.”

“How much did you spend?”

Heather pretended she didn’t hear me. I then noticed the receipt was taped to the box.

“EIGHTEEN DOLLARS?! ON CUPCAKES?!”

“You going to go get yours or what?”

“Not now.  I’ll just have one of yours.”

“I don’t think so. These are mine.”

“Fine,” I said as I opened my door. “But I’m going to show you how it’s done. I’ll be back with one cupcake. One.”

*****

Inside the shop I looked through the glass at an endless variety of delicious cupcakes. I immediately started to salivate.

“Okay,” I told myself. “Two cupcakes. That will still be way less than Heather got and make my point.”

I gave my order to the girl behind the counter who then gestured to a display I hadn’t noticed.

“Would you care for some of our other baked goods?”

“Holy Schnikies,” I cried out loud as I looked over an endless variety of cookies, brownies, snicker-doodles, you name it.

“Two cupcakes and a brownie,” I decided. “That will still be less than Heather got and still make a point. Maybe not an emphatic one, but a point.”

As I ordered the brownie the girl behind the counter asked if I liked whoopie-pie.

“Whoopie-pie? I haven’t had one of those since I was a kid!”

“Ours is the best,” she boasted.

And suddenly I was a crazed madman…

“Throw one in then! You know what else? Give me one of those giant chocolate chip cookies too! And a peanut butter bar! Oh! And that caramel chew! And…”

*****

I slumped behind the wheel with my gigantic box.

“I rescind all of my earlier judgment,” I quickly said.

Heather leaned forward to see the receipt on my box.

“TWENTY BUCKS?! ON CUPCAKES?!”

“Not just cupcakes. Cookies and brownies and other yummy stuff too.”

Heather shook her head, smirking.

“You really showed me how it’s done, Mike. Good job.”

*****

OK cupcake shops. You’ve won this round.

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