Yesterday I spent a lot of time laying on the floor next to Annie. She thought it was amazing fun, and she managed to injure me in several different ways: hair pulling, nose grabbing, eye poking, book throwing. I thought it was a relief to lay on the ground and still be able to entertain her.
I have these peaks and valleys. I’m doing well, managing it all, and then little things start piling up. Stuff that shouldn’t matter at all, and don’t individually. And just when I think I’m going to be able to ride out the dip, someone that matters dishes out a heap of selfishness with a sprinkle of douchebaggery and the bottom falls out.
So I deal by not brushing my hair and laying on the floor. Occasionally I let myself cry when Annabel isn’t looking. Then I find myself eating brown sugar out of a box because my cupcake frosting has expired (PATHETIC) and Mike has stolen my emergency peanut butter (BASTARD). And while I’m laying on the floor I realize I haven’t taken off my pajamas for three days.
My depression: it is the sexy.
Then this little hand touched my face, and I looked into her eyes:
She actually let me cuddle her and she even fell asleep in my arms.
When my wonderful husband came home he hugged me and told me he loved me, and then he set about getting me food so I could eat something besides brown sugar (which I’m pretty sure is a legit food group, but whatever).
While he and the baby played together, I laid on the couch and watched them. I just love them so much. I want to snap out of this funk. I’m tired of this roller coaster. I’d like to get off now.
Today is the last day to enter my contest for a camera! It’s open to all residents of Earth (sorry Mars)!