Well. I know what I need to say, but I don’t really know how to say it.
At the end of last week, Mike, Annabel, and I drove up to the San Francisco Bay Area after Jackie!’s sister told me to come. Jackie!’s brain tumors have grown to the point where she needs care around the clock. It’s been four years since she was diagnosed, but things have moved at a hideously fast pace in the last week. Too fast for me to comprehend.
Jackie!’s family is amazing. They turned their dining room into a replica of Jackie!’s apartment. They were always ready with food, drinks, and hugs. They were nice enough to allow me to basically camp out at the house and run their errands (You want dry ice? You want pool cleaner? I’m your girl.). You’re probably thinking, “they *let* you run their errands?” But I was there to help, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let any of them leave her side.
I got to sit with Jackie! and hold her hand. Sometimes she was awake, and we’d talk. We whispered secrets and we made promises to each other. She was in good spirits, even when the rest of us were breaking around her. I am so lucky that I got to look into her eyes and tell her I love her. I am luckier that she said “I love you” back.
Yesterday morning her dad put his arm around me and told me that I had to keep going. That I had to go back to my life and live. I needed him to say that, because even though Jackie! had told me the same thing, I just…needed to hear it again. So I will do my best to keep going every day, because they made me promise I would, and you do NOT cross Jackie!’s family. They know people.
Still, it took me several hours to get up the courage to walk out the front door of their house.
There is no timeline. She’s surrounded by her family, and love from her friends is coming in from all over the world. I know she feels it.
Ali says:
My heart aches for Jackie!’s family, yours.. I am so sorry. I can’t imagine how this weekend was for you. My thoughts are with her, her family, and you!
Kayla says:
I don’t know what I believe in. And yet, if there does happen to be the “traditional” heaven type setting, at least Maddie and Jackie will be together, yeah?
But this is all so out of order. So wrong. Again. So horrifically unfair. Again. So awful. Again…
I wish I had something profound to say. I wish I could give you a long, real hug, in person. But I can’t, and so I’ll just hope you read our words and know we’re all here for you guys, again, and always. Much love to you, Jackie, and her family.
“THIS is thy hour O Soul, thy free flight into the wordless,
Away from books, away from art, the day erased, the lesson done,
Thee fully forth emerging, silent, gazing, pondering the themes thou
lovest best.
Night, sleep, and the stars.”
-Walt Whitman.
Paula says:
This said it all more than I ever could.
k says:
Oh God Heather-my heart breaks for you and sweet Jackie! and her family. I am so glad you have had such an incredible friendship. You are there for her. What a gift you each give to the other. Much love to you always.
Shae Vines says:
I have been following yours, your family’s, Jackie!’s stories for about 4 years now. I am only 23 years old and cant even begin to imagine all the things you all have been through, but all of your strength, fighting spirits and unwavering dedication to your family and friends (aswell as your humor ) has been a true inspiration to me. I hope when I “grow up” I can have even half the strength and love you all have.
My thoughts and prayers are with Jackie! and you all
xoxoxo
Sky says:
sending love to you and jackie and all whose lives touch hers. hard, hard stuff. impossible to understand the why of it all. i lost my college roomie to melanoma – it was too soon and so sad, yet that period from diagnosis to goodbye contained the most intimate moments we ever shared.
Cynthia says:
Heather,
I am so “happy” for you and Jackie! that you were able to spend time together & that you both were able to get another, “I love you” in. I don’t know you or Jackie personally, but your bond has touched me and made me appreciate my precious friendships even more. It is quite obvious that you would go to the ends of the earth for one another! She seems like such an amazing person, her smile, courage and sparkle is so “amazing”, for lack of a better, more effective word!
I am wishing that her days remain filled with peace, surrounded by love from all of her many, many loved ones (family and friends). I can only imagine the heaviness of your heart right now, so I just want to send nothing but good thoughts and hugs your way as well, hoping you can find some semblance of comfort right now and in the days to come. Even though this is via the “blogosphere” you are not alone!
Fight On!
Emily says:
“Sorry” just isn’t enough, so I second what Cynthia said. Praying for you. Much love.
Courtney says:
I wish peace and warmth and love to you and Jackie! now more than ever. She seems to be such an amazing woman, so full of grace. Thinking of you, and her.
Lilian says:
No words can describe how I feel for you right now. Just know that so many of us, who read your blog, care about you. Your love for your friend is so apparent and it’s even more heartwarming that Jackie! knows this. Love and peace to you and Jackie’s family.
cj says:
i am praying for you and for Jackie! and her family. so sorry.
defendUSA says:
My friend Dave and I were 5 days apart. He was the best example of how to live your life. He was Army and went to Iraq. He brought his whole unit home. And fell out on a PT run during debriefing. Brain Tumor. They got all but 5%. He used to day that cancer might kill him, but not today. When I left him for the last time, it was hard to let go. I didn’t cry. He told me to “be a good girl” our long made up code for “I Love you.” And I said it back…I still miss him and I am sorry for you.
Catherine says:
First comment, from Walt Whitman, says it from me too….
“Night, sleep, and the stars.”
You were blessed with that friendship, and you will have that forever. I am so sorry. Be well.
Kate says:
I love this “you were blessed with that friendship, and you will have that forever”. Well said, Catherine.
Hugs to you, Heather, and wishing you and Jackie peace and strength and comfort.
MissyK says:
My heart goes out to Jackie! and all of her friends and family. Jackie! is such a strong and wonderful person. You guys are so blessed to have such a wonderful friendship. All my thoughts and prayers are will you all.
Bridget says:
So often in the last four years I’ve had Jackie! in my thoughts and prayers. She is a remarkable woman and Turk the Tumor is an ass. So sorry. Extra prayers and lots of love sent her way and your way and for her family.
J+ says:
How good that you were able to see her and talk with her. She already knows you love her, of course, but we can never say it too many times.
She’s in my prayers. All of you are.
Brooke says:
I pray for peace for Jackie! and her family and you as well. I’m so sorry. I was wondering about her last week. Thank you for the update.
Leslie K says:
Type, delete, type delete.. I cannot find the words to express my feelings for you and Jackie! and her family. Just know that you’re in my thoughts and I’m so very sorry.
nicol says:
Ditto Leslie. Much love to you, Jackie!, her family and friends. ((((hugs)))
Tracy says:
Thinking of you and sending prayers for Jackie and her family.
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
Oh, Heather. I am so sorry to hear about Jackie. Will be thinking of her, her loving family, and you…
Mary Ann says:
I am so sorry to hear about Jackie and will keep her in my thoughts and prayers today. I wish there were some magical words to make this all better but I know there aren’t any, just know that I am sending you big hugs and lots of love. I only know her from your posts and I have tears in my eyes as I am typing this – she seems like an amazing friend. How lucky that in all the world you found each other.
TamaraL says:
Oh Heather, I am so sorry. Will be keeping you all in my thoughts…
jewl says:
You have certainly put my petty problems into perspective this morning. I am so sorry for your heartbreak, I cannot imagine, I am speechless. Praying for you and Jackie’s family.
Mommy Boots says:
I’m so sorry. You’re all in my thoughts, and even though I have never met her, so is Jackie! and her family. Hugs to you all.
amanda says:
Love to you and the fabulous, fabulous Jackie!.
Nellie says:
My heart aches for you and I just simply can’t imagine what you are feeling. Please know that you have given Jackie to us through your words and stories and that even though I never met you nor her, you two are amazing women and inspirational in more ways than you two will ever fully know or comprehend.
Lots of prayers, hugs and love to Jackie and every single loving life she has touched….so many around the world!
Editdebs says:
I’m so sorry. You and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Caroline says:
I am so so sorry, Heather. It’s all just too much. Too much for you, too much for her family. It disgusts me really. I am so glad you were able to be with Jackie! and help her family. Prayers for you and yours, Jackie! and her family. I’d like to say a slew of swear words, really. Hugs and love instead:)!
Stacy says:
I don’t know you or Jackie! personally, but my heart is breaking for all of you. I cannot imagine what you are feeling, but I hope you are feeling the love and support of your readers and online friends. The pictures you have shared with us are beautiful, and even though the circumstances sucked, I love Jackie!’s smile at her haircutting party. What a spirit, what a beautiful smile… love, prayers and hugs being sent to all of you.
Brandy says:
In you she goes on. You share her with the world and that’s a wonderful thing. Sending lots of love your way.
Lindsey says:
My thoughts exactly, Brandy. I am so very sorry.
Molly (different Molly) says:
Fuck. I hate cancer, but I love you and Jackie! I’m sorry Heather, I’m so damn sorry. Big hugs!
Becky C says:
My heart is breaking for you all and I’m a puddle of goo right now. How blessed you are to have a 2nd, wonderful, family to welcome you…lean on you…and tell you it’s time to go home. We should all be so lucky! Still praying for peace and comfort for you all! ? {{{HUGS}}}
kalen says:
Will be thinking of her and her family.
So much grief in your life and the lives of those you love. What great advice from Jackie’s father. We should all pay attention to what he said. Lots of warm thoughts, prayers, and feelings of sadness over this tragedy.
Annalisa says:
Ditto.
Know that every day you carry on, you take a piece of Jackie! on, through your memories of her.
Barbi Emel says:
I’m sorry Heather, it just isn’t fair. I hope for peace for you and her family, but also for Jackie!
Marie says:
Jackie is so beautiful. And I assure you she is ready. She will see Jesus right there before her. I have been there and back and I was ready. But here I am.
Blessings
Marie
Karen says:
Thoughts, prayers, and love to you, Jackie! and her family. (((HUGS)))
Colleen says:
Thinking of you, Jackie!, and her family. Hugs, thoughts and prayers.
Staci says:
I’m so glad you got to be there with her. She knows you love her; you know she loves you. The world can, in fact, go on. My heart and prayers are with all of you.
Meg says:
Sending love and hugs to you, Heather, and to the lovely Jackie and her family. There are no words, but I am so sorry.
Melli says:
My thoughts are with you & her family. What a beautiful girl she is.
Tammy M. says:
Jackie’s! family sounds awesome. I’m so sorry for this continued pain – for all of you. Prayers headed your way!
statia says:
I’m so sorry you guys. It’s hard to lose people who clearly haven’t finished living their lives. I know it’s expected when people are old, but not like this.
Kim says:
Thinking of you, Jackie!, and Jackie!’s family. I can’t imagine what you and they are going through.
Jamie says:
God, Heather. This has me in tears. I am so, so sorry.
cindy w says:
I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine how hard this is. I’m so glad you were able to go see her. And I’m happy that Jackie! has such an amazing group of family and friends around her.
Sending you much love. XOXO
Tracy says:
Thinking of you, Heather.
Ann says:
Praying that Jackie! is pain-free and to bring you and her family peace and comfort! She is so beautiful and I’m sure she is just as beautiful on the inside from reading all your posts!!!
pgoodness says:
Sending love and hope and strength to you and to Jackie! and her family. Thank you for introducing her to us – she’s amazing and I feel lucky to know of her through you.
Lauren says:
I am very sorry, Heather. It is just so effing unfair.
I hope you find peace and comfort in the days ahead, knowing that nothing was left unsaid between you and Jackie!.
Thinking of you and her family…
HeidiLee says:
Heather, thank you for sharing Jackie!..hugs and prayers to her family and yours….
Marjorie says:
I have often wondered how your dear friend was doing over the last while and thank you for the update. As hard as it was to write. I will be thinking of her and her family and of course you and yours during this difficult time. Hugs
Maggie says:
My heart aches for you and Jackie’s family…there are no words to accurately convey everything here, in a neat little box…so I will leave you with love, prayers, and hugs as you all move through this difficult time, and peace to Jackie as she moves on from this world, for someplace far more beautiful. xo
Jenn says:
“Unbroken”……The title is PERFECT b/c the bond and love you and Jackie have for eachother IS and ALWAYS WILL BE…UNBROKEN!!! Your post broke my heart this morning but I am grateful you had the courage to write it. Jackie has been on my mid constantly since her Dad’s last update. I guess I just didn’t realize how much this horrible disease had progressed!!! I’m Sorry Heather!!! I’m SOOOO Sorry!!!! I am however VERY grateful you got to spend some time with Jackie. I hope your visit brought you and Jackie some peace.
I will continue to pray for Jackie, her family and you and your family. Thanks again for being so honest with your update!! Please remember I am just a text, e-mail or phone call away!!
Love,
Jenn xo
Lisa F. says:
I’m so sorry for what she and her family have endured, and that they will soon need to say goodbye. I’m so glad you had that time with her, I know you’ll cherish it forever.
Erin W says:
I’m so sorry, Heather! You and Jackie! are in my prayers!
Jen says:
I don’t know you but was introduced to your blog a few years ago, right after the passing of Maddie. I’ve read every entry.
I’m so sorry that this life has handed you more in a few short years than anyone should ever have to deal with in a lifetime.
I’m sending you a big hug, thoughts and prayers and the wish that things get easier for you. That this is the end of bad news. And of loss.
I’m sorry.
Rach says:
My husband just had to do this very trip to see a dear friend. Leaving was one of the hardest things he had to do. My heart goes out to you and everyone surrounding Jackie!.
Rita says:
Don’t really know what to write other than I’m sending lots of hugs your way.
Nancy Raine Smego says:
Jackie would want you to carry on and have a fabulous life. It’s the best tribute you can give her, Heather. Live on for her and always know how much better of a person you are for having known her. Fight On Heather. Jackie would want it that way.
Lesley says:
Yes indeed… Jackie! will be unbroken and free. Her spirit will roam whole and well. Her energy is strong and you will forever feel her.
Blessing to all of you during this difficult time.
Brooke says:
I’m so sorry to read that you have to say good bye too soon to such a vibrant and amazing friend. Thinking of you, of Jackie, and her family.
Amanda says:
Heather I am so sorry. I read this and immediately thought of my favorite poem because, even if it was originally a romantic poem it also speaks, to me, of the love shared between two friends – here is the part that I really sums it up:
…here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
I’ve never really understood if you and Mike believed in a higher power, of an after life but I know that I do and I believe, with all of my heart, that Maddie is waiting for Jackie – to tell her of the stories of the two of you until you all will be together again.
Still not fair and it sucks. Not fair at all.
Lindsay says:
I’m so very, very sorry. My grandfather was diagnosed last week with the same brain cancer Jackie has so valiantly fought. It’s a cruel disease.
I pray for peace and no pain for Jackie, and that her family and yours are strengthened by the memory of what a beautiful and courageous person she obviously lived her life as.
Kelly says:
I’m glad that Jackie’s Dad had these kind words to say to you. I am so thankful that you were able to have some time with Jackie, to say the “I love you’s” not everyone gets that chance.
Watching my Aunt’s fight with brain cancer and the changes that it had on her was one of the hardest things I have ever witnessed.
Thinking of you all, and Jackie’s family.
Tamela says:
I am so sorry.
Julie says:
Jackie! is in my thoughts and prayers for a peaceful transition. I have a BFF with terminal cancer too, and I know that this day will come for me as well. Saying that last goodbye is something I can’t even fathom. Sending you strength as you navigate this next few days and weeks…..
Tammy C says:
Sending love to Jackie! and her family from across the bay. Will be thinking of you all this week!
Miriam says:
I’m so sorry for you, your dear friend and her wonderful family. Wishing you all peace during this painful time.
Lisa A says:
My thoughts and prayers are with Jackie, her family, you and all of your friends. Such a horrible thing to have to face.
mel says:
I can’t say I’m sorry enough. I’m glad you were there, but I’m so sorry.
Me says:
You are in my thoughts.
Barbara says:
So very sorry isn’t quite enough so I will just promise I will remember just as I do Maddie, Heather’s beautiful Jackie.
Angela says:
Thinking of Jackie!, her family, and you. Best wishes for a peaceful passing.
Yo says:
I don’t have words. This is so terrible and beautiful, the way she’s spending her time.
Barbara says:
I’m so sorry Heather. You, Jackie!, and both of your families are in my thoughts. Much love from Glendora.
Jenni says:
Heather,
I started to read your post this morning, and I had to stop because I knew what was coming. I am just now coming back to read it all. No wonder she’s such a special lady, look at what she comes from. For her dad to put his arm around you and say something so special to you in his greatest time of need just speaks volumes.
I’m so sorry that Jackie! won’t be with you on earth, but I truly believe you will carry a piece of her in your heart forever.
Take care, Heather.
Jenni
Cristy says:
I’m so saddened to hear this. It’s obvious that you and Jackie have an amazing bond. I’m so glad you got to see her, comfort her, and be comforted by her. She sure is surrounded by some amazing people. Wishing you all peace during this time.
Sonya aka Glam-O-Mommy says:
Heather, my heart breaks for Jackie!, her family, and for you and yours. I’m so glad you had this time with her, as diffiult as it was. Like Maddie, I know Jackie! will live on in you, because you love her. Hugs and prayers for you all from here in Texas.
Susan A says:
My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Jackie! and your families. Always. Every day. Much love and strength.
Donna P says:
Heather, I am so sorry.
Heather says:
My heart is breaking for all of you. Jackie is amazing, and you are an amazing friend.
All of you are in my thoughts.
mccgood says:
I am so sorry
Kim says:
Damn it Heather. I am so incredibly sorry.
Sending love to you and of course Jackie.
April says:
I am hoping and praying for comfort for all who love Jackie. This is so hard.
Nadinsche says:
I am so sorry that this is happening to Jackie!, to her family, to you and to all the others that have Jackie! close to her heart. From what I read about her she seems to be such a great and fun person. It’s unbelieveable how strong she and her family is in this situation. I am thinking of all of you!
Lissa says:
I am so sorry Heather and yet grateful that you were able to have this moment in time with Jackie! She reminds me of Maddie in some way, the sparkle she contains and the power she has in the world. It is something special and not often found. Despite such tragic endings, I know that you and your family have felt blessed to have them in your lives.
It really makes you realize how few of us have had such an impact in life and the lives of those we love. Thinking of you and Jackie! and her family in the days and weeks to come.
Heather G says:
Heather, thank you for sharing Jackie! (I had to put that ! there, as it is the way you always write her name. It doesn’t look right without it to me) with us. Thank you for sharing your relationship, even as it nears that moment that shouldn’t come so soon, with us. Prayers for you & Jackie!’s family. I wish you all strength in the days and times ahead.
traci says:
May peace be with Jackie, her family and you during this time of passing.
Trisha says:
Sending lots of love and prayers of peace and comfort Heather. I know how much Jackie! means to all of you.
Heidi says:
Sitting here with tears in my eyes once again. Thinking of you, Jackie! and her family. How lucky you were to have one another. What a beautiful friendship. *hugs*
Jeanie says:
Oh, the lump this put in my throat! Prayers for Jackie and those who surround her. She is blessed with a loving family and to have you for such a good friend. Love to you all.
Skye says:
I’m so sorry for you and everyone who knows Jackie!. I’m thinking of her and all of you.
Amelia says:
Light and love to everyone touched by her.
rachel says:
I’m so sorry, keeping you, Jackie! and all of her friends and family in my thoughts and prayers!
Molly says:
Sending my love to Jackie and to you. There are just no words.
tara says:
heather i’m so sorry. i think of you and your family all the time. sending love and hugs.
Glenda says:
I have been following Jackie on Caringbridge for 4 yrs now since you first told all of us about Jackie! I get her updates (her dads)
My heart has been heavy and aching for Jackie, her family and friends.
I am so sorry any of you have to go through with this heartache.
Thinking of all of you…and praying for peace and comfort.
xo
Vicky says:
Godspeed, Jackie!. I’m so sorry, Heather.
Sara says:
Praying for Jackie, her family, you, and all her other friends. I can only imagine what you all are feeling, and I pray God sends you comfort. I am so sorry.
Kelly says:
I wish I could hug you, pretty much every day. I’m not going to offer an platitudes, only tell you that you are loved and not alone, ever.
Lisa says:
Oh Heather….and everyone who’s life has been touched by Jackie! I know nothing I write will ever be enough….I am so very sorry. I wish that you could be there 24/7. I like the idea someone said that in you she lives on. Maybe someone (more organized than me) can create a non-profit that could hire PA’s to help a family dealing with hospice to run errands when people like you aren’t there? Just a thought….
Lisa says:
Heather, this just breaks my heart. Jackie and her friends and family are in my thoughts and in my heart. I glad you got spend some time with her.
Andrea says:
I held back tears as I read this, my heart and prayers are with you and Jackie!’s family.
Johanna says:
So sorry for Jackie, for her family, and for you. None of you deserve this. A life cut short is just the worst. My thoughts and prayers are with you all in this difficult time.
My family had our long overdue memorial service for my grandmother this past weekend on what would have been her 86th birthday. My dad told a story of his mother and how in the hours after I was born and my parents’ were given a bleak prognosis for me and my life, she rushed to his side. It had to have been hard for her. Her only daughter had died of heart defect she’d had since birth when she was 25, just five years before. The strength it must have taken to walk into that hospital and look at her son’s firstborn daughter who was likely going to die–I can’t even imagine. Heather, I so admire the strength you’ve exhibited in taking care of Jackie and being there for her and her family after what you’ve been through. You are a very strong woman.
My best during this difficult time for you all.
Kay says:
I am so sorry to hear about Jackie! and I hope that your and her family have all the love, support and time you need to deal with this.
Molly says:
Wishing you, Jackie!, and all her friends and family peace. I am so very sorry.
aimee says:
Lots of hugs to you and Jackie’s Family from Michigan. My heart hurts not only for her but you as well.
Katie says:
I am so very sad. Sending love to your family and to Jackie’s.
lindsay says:
hugs, hugs. my heart broke when i read jackie!’s newest post on her blog. as she would tell you, fight on! with all your heart, soul, mind. xoxo
Auntie_M says:
Jackie! and her family and You and your and all your mutual friend are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so glad you have been with Jackie! and also glad that it was she who let you go. I know this won’t be easy…loss never is, but Jackie! is an incredibly inspiring woman–how blessed you both are to have had each other in your lives. Thank you for sharing her via your blog with those of us out in cyberland!
Amy says:
So sorry to read this post. Love and Peace to you all.
Mandy says:
She’s lucky to have you and you’re lucky to have her. I’m so sorry that this is happening.
Mumtaz says:
So, so, so sorry for you Heather. Keeping you and Jackie and your families in my thoughts and prayers.
Mommy says:
I wish I could say something profound. I wish any words I could come up with would take away even a tiny part of your hurt. My heart aches for you and all who love Jackie (and it looks like there are MANY who do). She seems like an amazing person and friend. How lucky you all are to have her in your lives, and vice versa.
My favorite teacher always told us that we were important, we were loved and we made a difference. I can tell that all of these things are true about your dear friend. She is important, she is clearly so loved, and she made a difference. I know that you will miss her so, but those things will never change. The cancer can never change how much she means to you and how loved she will continue to be, and how much of a difference she will make in this world, even if she isn’t physically here anymore.
I love the picture you posted on fb of your beautiful Jackie and your precious Maddie. What gorgeous girls they both are and will always be.
Love to you all, always.
Nikki says:
I echo the lovely sentiments of the posters before me. I found Jackie’s site through you and have prayed for her throughout her journey. I’m so, so sad about the situation, but continue to pray for her, her family, and you.
Big hugs.
Amanda says:
O man, what do I say?
I admire Jackie! and your friendship, courage, and strength in the face of some of the most difficult things people could go through together. Thinking of her (and you).
Jana says:
I am so deeply sorry. I will keep Jackie, her family and you in my thoughts and prayers.
edenland says:
She is so beautiful.
I just got to NY and I’m all messed up. Came to read your blog first …. sending you my love, hon. No timeline. Just love.
Aching for you XXXXX
Meg says:
I’m so sorry. Sending good thoughts out for her and for you.
AmazingGreis says:
Sending so many good thoughts and LOTS of love to Jackie!, her family, friends and you. I only met sweet Jackie! (my birthday TWIN) once and I love her to pieces. Let me know if you need anything whatsoever. I’m here for your, for Jackie!
XOXO
Lindsay Flynn says:
Good grief.. How awful and quickly things progressed. I was hoping for a miracle……But I guess that isn’t in the cards. My thoughts are with you all at this difficult time. Take solace and comfort in having her tell you she loves you. She knows how much you’ve meant to over the years and it’s such a terrible, tragic thing that her life is being taken from her from this awful tumour at such a young, young age.
My best,
xo
Lisa Wilkinson says:
I am so sorry.. But how blessed the 2 of you are to have such a special friendship! I wish I was there to hug you but since I can’t please know that you, your family, Jackie! and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.