The decade ended with tears from Mike and me. Sadness and fear and trepidation hung thick in the air. The holidays were a mixed bag. We had our own emotions, while our close friends had some devastating lows and dizzying highs – all at once. We are all ready for a change.
The dawn of the new decade found me laying down, unmotivated to get up for the majority of the day. Late in the afternoon, I felt a strong urge to get some air, so Mike and I took Rigby outside. While Rigby did her thing, I looked up at the sky and gasped. We rushed to the roof (don’t tell Dr. Risky) so we could take it all in.
It was a beautiful pink and purple sunset.
When I think of my daughters, I think of pinks and purples.
I miss my girl so much it’s almost suffocating. I think all the time about what she’d be doing, what she’d be saying, how we’d be preparing her for her little sister. I know I’d be doting on her during her last month as an only child. As I mentally prepare for her sister’s birth, I keep flashing back to hers – the day I became a mommy. It’s all going to be emotional and wonderful and bittersweet. I am so excited to mother again, but…it’s all just very hard and heavy.
As the year and the decade open before me, I am still going to take it day by day. Hopefully I will see more beautiful pink and purple sunsets to keep me going.