When Mike and I were trying to get pregnant with Madeline, I used to fantasize about how I would tell him we’d succeeded. MANY a cheesy idea floated in my mind, but the day I got the two pink lines I was too excited to do anything except thrust the stick in his face.

We were a little more creative when we told other people. We gave my parents bibs that said, “I Love Grandpa” and “I Love Grandma.” I saved my biggest burst of creative energy for my brother. I labored over a homemade shirt for him, spending far too much time picking a color, lining up the letters JUST RIGHT, and carefully ironing the words on so there was NO WAY they’d peel off. And then, when the shirt was done, I realized that I’d permanently put on his shirt:

Unlce Kyle

I blamed the pregnancy brain, and also Mike, who’d looked at the shirt before I started ironing. I’m normally such a GOOD speller.

This time around, I knew exactly how I wanted to tell everyone that we were expecting again. I picked it out way in advance so it would be ready when I got two new pink lines. I was going to put Maddie in it, and then wait for Mike/my family/my friends to notice. Of course I was going to let Maddie announce the news – after all, this little baby was going to be HER best friend.

Big Sister

I planned to take a picture of her in it to post here on the blog. I couldn’t wait for the day. I never imagined this was the closest I’d get to Maddie posing with her Big Sister shirt.
Big Sister

We leave it there in front of her urn. I know she would be so excited right now. She LOVED babies. Her first sentence was, “Hi baby!” I know if I said to her, “Where is mommy’s baby?” she undoubtedly would point to my stomach. She probably would have even given my belly one of her famous open-mouthed kisses.

She is going to be the best big sister. It’s just not at all how we wanted.