My calendar tells me it’s Memorial Day weekend…if it wasn’t for the calendar, I really wouldn’t know what day it was. I haven’t really left my house since Tuesday (unless walking to the curb to get the mail counts). My cramps and bleeding and all around physical recovery have been on the back slide. I think I mentally can’t begin to process this miscarriage until I physically stop feeling like I am going to bleed to death. I spoke with my OB about my symptoms and she said, “Well, some people continue to have cramps for weeks.” When I told her about my dizziness and increased bleeding she said with a nervous chuckle, “Sounds like we didn’t get everything out with the D&C.”
My head pretty much exploded, but I managed to retain the power of speech to finish our conversation. Since I am still waiting for test results from her, I’m not going to elaborate on my feelings…other than to say I don’t really think that’s a responsible thing to say to someone on the phone, because I spent the next 24 hours googling what happens when a D&C fails to “get everything out” and I am a) scarred for life and b) obsessively checking my temperature for signs of infection. It seems like my body is doing its best to finish this so I can start healing, but I’m still frustrated. Has anyone else had bleeding and cramps increase over time? Is this normal?
Mike and my family members have been great while I’ve been recovering, taking care of me and playing with Annie. Yesterday my mom made me move into our backyard, and Annie entertained me with stories about princesses.
Tomorrow Mike is loading Annie and me into the car for a drive up the coast. He is getting me out of the house! Rejoice.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
Huge hugs, Heather. How terrible. (Mike, she needs chocolate. And hugs.)
Paula says:
I cannot believe your doctor said that to you! Am hoping the physical eases so you can move on with the emotional. Enjoy your drive up the coast (Monterey? If so, take a walk in the redwoods and be awed by the glory of nature). Best to you and my wee girl sends kisses to Annie.
Gwen says:
A lot of the time, the remaining tissue (if that is the case) will pass on its own. I know when I had a D&C done, the warnings were the same as post childbirth.. fever, bleeding that requires pad changes several times in an hour. You know your body, if you’re really concerned go to the ER. Also, the whole “cramps for weeks” WTF, just no. I’m not a doctor but that just doesn’t seem right. I cramped for maybe a week after. I don’t think I like your OB.
Maria says:
I totally agree with Gwen that the cramps for weeks is not right and your OB is not a caring doctor. After all she laughed on the phone.
Sending you lots of hugs!
Maria Keil
Katrina @ They All Call Me Mom says:
Cramps for a week… not normal. I cramped mostly during the miscarriage itself. After that there was bleeding for maybe 5 – 7 days, each day lighter and lighter.
Jay- The Dude of the House says:
The lack of bedside manner by some doctors astounds me. Just goes to show that someone can be booksmart, but an idiot in general.
Jenn says:
Hey Heather!
I’m so sorry this is happening. BTW – Nice Bedside Manners your Doc has…..or NOT!!! GEESH!!! SOME PEOPLE!!!
YAY for Mike getting you out!!! Have an amazing time! I can’t wait to see the pictures!! Enjoy the sun. the wave (sigh), your family & hopefully some MUCH NEEDED SOLACE!!!
Think of you all often & care for you all always,
Love,
J xo
Alison says:
If they left anything in there, any “product” (as they call it, sigh), they need to find out and remove it ASAP! Are they getting you in asap to check? I hope so.
I haven’t had a D&C, but I have miscarried. Unlike my period, the bleeding and cramps came and went over many many days. Some days were horrific, others weren’t so bad (physically).
I am glad family has been there for you.
Katie says:
Maybe I get too anxious over medical issues, but I think I’d go to the hospital or at least call another doctor for advice. That doesn’t seem right. I’ve had 4 miscarriages – all pretty different, but the easiest one (physically) was when I had a D&C. The bleeding and cramping was gone so much quicker than the others. The fact that your bleeding and cramping has gotten worse concerns me. Praying for you!
Marsha says:
Speaking of experience from the I have been there, lost a 13 week baby, and had to have a D&C done and also being a nurse with 27 years behind me no it is NOT normal for the cramping and bleeding to be increasing. You need blood work and an ultrasound done to see just how much they “left in there” Your body sounds to me like it is trying to finish what the doctor didnt get right. So not cool for them to say that to you at all.
I am so very sorry for the loss and for you not getting better sooner.
E. says:
I had something similar happen after a d&c. This was a d&c following a still birth to remove remaining placenta that had not detached during the delivery. My memory of what exactly happened is fuzzy for obvious reasons, but I think this is what happened: after a week or two (10 days?) of heavy bleeding after the d&c they brought me in for an ultra sound, where they saw nothing, I.e. all the product had been removed in the d&c. They gave me some sort of drug that makes the uterus contract, I can’t really remember why. Maybe to help the uterus shed what it needed to quickly? That night I started passing huge golf-ball sized blood clots … Not just one, but many. I freaked out of course, and went to the ER, but when I got to the ER the bleeding had stopped. They did check me out, and told me this: likely what happened is that the doctor nicked the uterus during the d&c. Because of all the trauma I had just been through it bled a lot. The cervix was shut, so these blood clots were building up inside the uterus, and just some of the blood was coming through (I.e. the heavy bleeding) until they gave me the drug that caused the cervix to open and the blood clots to come out. Anyways, I think this explanation was accurate because the bleeding slowed down and stopped very shortly after this. No permanent damage. I got pregnant 3 months later and had a healthy full-term pregnancy.
I also had a d&c following an 8 week miscarriage, and experienced nothing like what I just described. It was more like a heavy period. So trust your gut, and be persistent with your doctors, go tothe ER if you are really worried. In other words, definitely follow up with this.
Elise says:
When I had a D&C, I didn’t start bleeding for several days and then it was pretty awful for about a week. It took at least a month fir things to get back to normal. Hang in there.
Katherine says:
Yeah, that happened to me. I was supposed to stop bleeding after 2 weeks and did not. They sent me for an ultrasound and didn’t find anything, and then said it was normal. It was a super-shitty time for me. My doctor didn’t seem to say anything right, either. I hope it gets better for you soon. Thinking of you.
Expat Mom says:
My first thought when you said you still had cramps and bleeding was that they missed something. You should be getting back to normal physically fairly soon after the D&C. On the plus side, it sounds like your body is working on it now. I’ve had D&Cs with two misscarriages and the third I decided to just go naturally and it took a very long time, but no infection, so it is possible for your body to rid itself of anything leftover, but it would probably be safer and easier to have them do another. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Betsy says:
Yes the bleeding and cramps can increase over time. you may also stop bleeding for a day, then start again with new cramps. For me, the bleeding doesn’t stop until the cramping does – it’s my body’s way of getting everything out. Hang in there.
Sarah says:
Ugh, sorry. I kept bleeding through 3 weeks and then it increased and I had an ultrasound, which showed ‘stuff’ retained. I tried cytotec, but that didn’t work completely. So I had a second d&c about a month after my first one. The second time they had an ultrasound to check everything out.
I still don’t underatand why they can’t tell when there is still a sac inside of you by inspecting what came out and why ultrasounds are not standard for d&cs.
I hope your body is working things out better than mine did!
Lisa says:
I am still praying for your heart and for some peace. I loved the pic’s of Miss Annie my goodness she looks so grownup, her little dress made her whole face just “pop” loving all the curls. You have a beautiful family.
Amy says:
I can’t recall how long I cramped after my D & C, but I do know I bled until 2 days before my 6 week follow up appointment. It sucked.
Hang in there. I’d insist on being checked out if things are getting worse rather than better.
Sarah says:
Sometimes I think Dr. forget that they are not talking to a colleague and don’t have a head full of medical know how so we look it up and then its horrifying. My sister’s baby was transverse at 30 weeks and the doctor told her all these horrible things that could happen…one of them if your water breaks lie down immediately and call 911 and if the cord comes out have the paramedic shove it back up in there and hold it there till you get to the hospital….REALLY I have to tell the paramedic to shove his hand up in my whooha and leave it there…geez!! Well I hope they figure everything out soon and you start to feel better
Andrea says:
This really sucks. I’m so sorry. When I had a D and C, I had light bleeding for a week and figured I was in the clear–and then it just kept on increasing. It was pretty awful for a few weeks. I panicked and cried, a lot, but didn’t go to the ER as I didn’t have a fever and the bleeding, while heavy, was mostly manageable. Dizziness could be a side effect of any pain meds you might be on? I hope you begin to feel physically better soon.
Jan says:
Just thinking about you and praying for your complete healing, both physically and emotionally.
Kristen Chase says:
No, that wasn’t the nicest thing to say to someone, even coming from me who generally has a sense of humor (and my clinicians know that). In your state, you didn’t pretty well not to freak out over the phone.
I had two miscarriages at home, never had a D&C, so I don’t know if the symptoms are similar. The cramping seemed to be worse the day of and then maybe a day or two after, same with the bleeding. Though I think I might have blocked it out.
Hoping the trip helps.
Colleen from MN says:
Heather,
I have had two miscarriages, and hence, two D and C’s. The bleeding is so different for everyone, and yes, it can increase and decrease. Cramps are normal as well. I think being more active will help getting what needs to get out, out. It is really inconvenient because you can’t use anything but pads, for me, that was the worst part. I think I bled pretty heavily for a few weeks , then it tapered off but wasn’t completely done for about a month. If you are dizzy, make sure you are hydrated and eat lots of iron rich food. Get outside and take some brief walks; it really helps to try and do ” normal” stuff to help make you feel normal again. Good luck, pancakes made me feel better….. I also had a margarita and that worked as well….
Shannon says:
Heather..you and Mike are still in my thoughts. Hoping that you are healing. I’m happy you have your sweet Annie to help you out. How can that smiling face not brighten the darkest days. Enjoy your drive up the coast as much as you can.
Smitha says:
I also had severe cramps and bleeding after my D &C. I was in terrible pain and my husband drove me to Ob gyn office. After another ultrasound, they told me the same thing… that they had not got everything out. The whole period is a blur of pain ( physical and mental).. but I think they put me on some medication to get the remaining out and after 1 more day of heavy bleeding, the cramps finally stopped. I think you better pay a visit to your ob-gyn’s office.
I am really sorry for your loss Heather. Hope the road to recovery is smooth…
Kim Ruckman says:
When I had mine I bled for awhile. Then it stopped, and restarted a few days later. It was pretty shocking because I was just sitting there and I started gushing blood. But the dr said it can happen. Hope u feel better soon. I had my d&c feb 2009, and my daughter was born feb 2010 =)
Jannette says:
Hi Heather,
Anne is so cute. As someone said previously, the dress makes her face pop.
I had a D&C after a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I had very little bleeding and little to no cramps. I’m wondering if the blood thinners are contributing to your pain and discomfort. As others have said, I think light exercise, tons of water, deep breathing will help your body to heal.
Take care my friend.
Heather says:
I’m so sorry this is happening! I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. I didn’t have a D&C and it took about two weeks for it to all come out. I took 2 red rasberry capsules every 2 hours for for the last 10 days and it really started helping my body get it out. I saw a huge difference when I started taking it.Red Rasberry is good for the reproductive organs and helps them do whatever your body is doing. If your pregnant it helps strengthen the uterus, if your in labor, or miscarrying. Many prayers coming your way all the way from Texas!
Elizabeth says:
Continued thoughts and prayers. I hope you can start to physically and emotionally heal.
Mandy says:
I have had increased bleeding and cramping after all three live births and my 24 week miscarriage. Every time I had to go in to see if there was tissue left behind. Each time, no. It’s just how my body reacts. (My bleeding will taper, stop, and then return with a vengeance a week later and I will soak through tons of pads, have a ton of clotting.)
I hope it’s just your body’s reaction and you don’t need more surgery.
Molly says:
Annie is so gorgeous. I hope you feel better soon! And I might suggest Mike make a call to this doctor to calmly let her know that that comment was upsetting. Her future patients will thank you.
Christina says:
First I have to say Wtf on your Dr’s bedside manner, sometimes in med school they lose that “human”chip.
If I am not mistaken you are on blood thinners, those could be a factor in the increase of bleeding, but IF it is more then what is expected, or if the cramping is really bad then a rip to the ER should be in order. It MAY call for another D&C (Sucks I know) but it is much better to be safe then sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss, both of them, but please take comfort in knowing that your baby was welcomed in the arms of his/her big sister, Maddy, she will show them the ropes till you are all together again.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Christina
PS Very nice artical of you 4 in the current issue of “Womans World”
Crystal says:
It will get better heather, I bled pretty heavy with the cramps and shooting stabbing pains for 6 weeks, I remember thinking I just want to be back to normal, it was the constant reminder of the baby that would never be. But it will stop and you will feel “normal” again (((hugs)))
meoskop says:
New DR. Seriously. Being at ease with and reassured by your DR is super important, especially with high risk pregnancies. Have Mike start researching your other options, call Dr. Love for more suggestions. Take care of all of yourself, emotional side as well as physical.
kelly says:
Heather, I am so sorry for your loss. I am an OB GYN nurse practitioner and take care of may miscarriages, unfortunately. There are medications to help decrease bleeding, and I don’t know exactly how your OB meant that statement, but it sounds less than helpful. If you don’t get the answers you would like, never EVER be afraid of a second opinion. If my post-D & C patients bleed more heavily than expected, I usually check a blood count to make sure they aren’t bleeding too heavily. While it is very rare to have complications after D & C, it does happen and YOU will be the one to notice first. You’re an amazing mother; you will recover physically, but some women take more time to heal than others. The amount of postop bleeding also depends on the gestational age somewhat. Reach out to other moms, support groups, counselors, and friends and family. Don’t shut yourself away for too long, Heather. Allow yourself to grieve and remember every parent’s grief is different. Please listen to your body and ask as MANY questions as you need.
Lynda M O says:
Heather, may the pain decrease and the cramps diminish… your Dr sounds a bit coarse to me – wonder what makes them do that to a patient ?~! Holding your family up to the Universal Healing Power.
EmilyInCockailLand says:
After my second m/c (first was ectopic so totally different) I had a very similar problem. I was about 6 days post op and my symptoms were progressing, not regressing…went to my OB who examined me and realized that I was not clotting properly. So, he did some procedure in the office (I literally blocked it from my memory, it wasn’t pretty) that stopped the bleeding and did some labs…turned out I had an undiagnoised clotting disorder…Are you sure the bleeding/clotting issues aren’t more hematologically related (vs OBGYN)?? Might be time to call your hematologist and get you labs drawn.
And, I am so sorry. A loss is a loss…it sucks all the way around every time. Get yourself physically well so that you can emotionally heal.
Auntie_M says:
I usually read everyone else’s comment’s but this time I’m skipping right down to comment on my own because I am so horrified for you! Heather!!!! They said they may have “missed” something?!? AND you’re still bleeding?!? And you have a clotting disorder!!! I’d either be spending a (sucky) day at the ER today OR would be waiting at their office when the open it up tomorrow!! This is absolutely not ok!!! I hate that you are going through this and wish I could just come and help take care of you (just want you want, a stranger taking care of you! LOL) But I really do–even though I know your family is doing a superb job. Ugh!!!
I know you’ve been Googling all this yourself, but The American Pregnancy Association says the following (all of which makes me think you REALLY NEED TO BE SEEN AGAIN!!!!)
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/dandc.html
What are the possible risks and complications of a D&C procedure?
• Incomplete procedure which requires another procedure to be performed
What to expect after the D&C Procedure:
Most women are discharged from the surgical center or hospital within a few hours of the procedure. If there are complications or you have other medical conditions, you may be kept longer. You will more than likely be given an antibiotic to help prevent infection and possibly some pain medication to help with the initial cramping after the procedure. Things to know about taking care of yourself at home:
• Most women can return to normal activities within a few days, and some feel good enough to return to normal non strenuous activity within 24 hours.
• You may experience some painful cramping initially, but this should not last longer than 24 hours.
• Light cramping and bleeding can be expected from a few days to up to 2 weeks. Ibuprofen is usually suggested for treating cramps.
When to contact your health care provider:
Most women experience few complications after a D&C procedure, but you should be aware of things that could signal a possible problem. Your health care provider should give you specific instructions on what you should expect, but you should contact them as soon as possible if you experience:
• Dizziness or fainting
• Prolonged bleeding (over 2 weeks)
• Prolonged cramping (over 2 weeks)
• Bleeding more than a menstrual period, or filling more than a pad an hour
• Severe or increased pain
• Fever over 100.4 °F or chills
• Foul smelling discharge
Worrying about you in Seattle,
xo~Mary
Liss says:
I had an ectopic miscarriage and a D&E (17 week miscarriage, slightly different procedure from D&C) both went pretty textbook. Then I had a miscarriage on my own which was incomplete. I bled off and on, with cramps for 2 months and THEN passed the last of the tissue which was a large strawberry-sized lump of tissue. My head was spinning from the infertility rollercoaster and I didn’t listen to my body all that well, otherwise I would have known that something was not quite right. Granted, it just meant my body was just as messed up as always and couldn’t even miscarry on my own. And I really didn’t want _another_ surgery (this was 3rd miscarriage in a year). Listen to your body, go to the ER, see another physician, anything to make sure that you really are okay or not.
*hugs*
Ann says:
Medication therapy (cytotec) to cause your cervix to dilate and your uterus to contract to pass what remains in your uterus might be possible. Or you can have another surgical removal (doesn’t necessarily have to be a D&C where they scrape the lining of your uterus). Bleeding and cramping that is worsening or lingering isn’t something you should have to wait out if you don’t want to. If you are uncomfortable with your docs or returning to the hospital often your local abortion clinic can be a good resource as those ob/gyn physicians have a lot of experience treating these symtpoms.
Amelia says:
My cramps and bleeding increased over time, until at 5 weeks I hemorraged and had to go to the ER. I don’t tell you this to scare you but to reassure you I am fine. I had to have another D&C, where they found some placenta, and after that I healed as I should have from the beginning.
I am so sorry that you are going through this, I send you light and love every day.
Jeanie says:
Hi, Heather,
I have not experienced a D&C, but just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. I hope the drive up the coast is just what you need. I know it will be beautiful.
Tara says:
Sheesh, doctors! I sympathize. After my miscarriage I had some concerns about what was bleeding out and I called the doctor too. Her response: “Better it’s coming out than staying in”. Um, okay.
I didn’t have a D&C though. But I experienced off and on weird bleeding and cramping for about a month. Still, it’s always good to get checked out. Miscarriages are just the worst all the way around…what you go through physically is confusing because it’s unlike anything else your body has dealt with. I agree wholeheartedly that it’s tough to deal mentally until your body gets somewhat back to normal.
(BTW I did start taking an herbal supplement of Red Raspberry Leaf capsules because that is supposed to help you heal and get back to normal faster and I was tired of waiting. They did seem to help a great deal if you want to check that out.)
A drive up the coast sounds so nice and therapeutic. I hope the beautiful scenery and ocean air does you a world of good!
Praying that you heal soon! ((HUGS))
Erin says:
Heather – When I had my second miscarriage, I did not have a D&C but my doctor did prescribe me a pill to help my body expel the remaining tissue. He determined through an ultrasound that there was still a small bit left and said the medicine would help my body expel it by producing cramps. Maybe this is something you can ask about, as well as doing an ultrasound to check. I’m so sorry for your loss. It is never easy.
SJ says:
Heather, I just want to punch that doctor in the face for saying that to you and also I want to punch the universe in the face for making you fall down an inordinate amount of times. I want to curl up on the couch with you with beer and candy and pizza, and give you TLC.
Molly says:
I had that happen and they had me come I right away for an ultrasound to check things out and it was all clear but when the cramping/bleeding STILL didn’t stop they figured out it was the birth control pill they had put me on to regulate my cycle. Can’t remember which one it was–it was a super common one, but I am just waaay too sensitive to hormones. As soon as I got off of it (that day?) the bleeding and cramping finally stopped, though I had a post
Molly says:
I had that happen and they had me come I right away for an ultrasound to check things out and it was all clear but when the cramping/bleeding STILL didn’t stop they figured out it was the birth control pill they had put me on to regulate my cycle. Can’t remember which one it was–it was a super common one, but I am just waaay too sensitive to hormones. As soon as I got off of it (that day?) the bleeding and cramping finally stopped, though I had a postpartum hemmorhage (sp?) after each of my births too.
Molly says:
Sorry for the double post–typing from my phone!. Also meant to say how sorry I am and that I hope you feel better soon.
c.c. says:
heather. i’m so sorry. i hate this for you. i can’t believe the doctor said that about the d&c. so callous. i hope that you’ll get to see the coast tomorrow and that the sky is cloudless and the air is balmy and breezy. i hope god smiles on you soon.
Lanie says:
Love that Annie entertained you with princess stories and that Mike took you all on a drive up the coast.
The bleeding and cramps with my miscarriage did increase. The bleeding and cramps on my first cycle afterwards through me for another loop too.
I hope that you are feeling better soon. Sendin you peace and hugs.
Emily J. says:
This same thing happened to my best friend. She actually had bleeding/cramping for three months before they determine they hadn’t quite gotten everything. They were about to go in for a second D&C before her body finally took care of everything itself and she had a second set of bad cramping/bleeding. It was really difficult emotionally and physically for her, and so I definitely feel for what you are going through.
That said, at least in her case, she had absolutely no lasting issues and is now momma to a beautiful 4 month old girl. I pray for the same for you and your family.
Ally says:
Annie is so beautiful and I”m so sorry you have to go through this. You’ve been through enough. Lots of love and hugs to you.
Victoria at Figuring Out the Details says:
I am so sorry you are going through this. And that your doctor was so thoughtless. I didn’t have a D&C, but when I had a natural miscarriage (is that even what it’s supposed to be called?) it took about 2 to 3 weeks total. There was one awful, horrible day when the fetus passed, and then about two more weeks of cramps and bleeding after that. I hope you heal quickly.
Lisa says:
It amazes me that docs make these “off the cuff” remarks in such emotionally charged situations and not think twice. When I miscarried, the on call doc wouldn’t do a D and C until 2 days later-telling me I could “just go to work” until she could fit me in. I refused to wait that long-I was too far along to m/c naturally in a safe way and was so afraid of it happening anyway at home….and she finally called another doc who agreed to do the procedure the next morning.
Emotionally, I am a year and several months from my m/c and still devastated-we tried for 10 years to concieve…finally did…and, well-heartbreak. For me, what healing there was came in small steps- stopping bleeding (3 weeks)–getting through the 26 week date I had circled (in my head) my birthday (my “everything would be fine if I could make it to that date) and the actual due date. I was high risk due to my age so I had all the milestones memorized…
but I won’t lie-I still have bad days and even months.
btw-if they prescribe an antibiotic-question if they try to give you Cipro–it can cause major tendon damage even without exertion-you don’t find that out until you get the papers at the pharmacy. I sit here a year later with issues that are probably stemming from that antibiotic given to me following my d&c (I had an infection several days later)
My heart aches for you-
Tracy says:
I think it’s really important to feel that you can communicate your concerns and feel that your doctor is listening. So if you feel that the doctor is dismissing your symptoms, and not paying attention to what you are saying, or not fully explaining what he or she thinks, in a way that makes sense to you, I would probably change doctors altogether.
Kristy says:
Hang in there, Heather. I am so sorry for your loss. And I’m sorry for your doctor’s flippant comments.
I lost a baby at 19 weeks and my bleeding and cramps definitely worsened about five days after my D&E. I was further along that you though, so I’m sure there was quite a bit more, and of course, I’m sure that they did not get it all. The good news is that I did not have an infection and my bleeding did stop. The bad news is that it took nearly eight weeks.
This will get better. Hang in there.
Heather says:
A month after losing my baby in utero and having a D&C, I went for a check up. I walked in to the office and the OB (who I met only once before the D&C because I was transferred from my midwife for the D&C) said “So! You folks are having a baby!”
It was all I could do not to strangle him over the desk. Then he told me I’d lost the baby because I had something that was cancerous, he wrote down the name of it, asked if I have the internet and handed me the slip of paper.
Then he said “it’s not like you can’t try again”
People in the medical community can go one of two ways. Really good, and really insensitive. And ‘really insensitive’ hits us harder.
Katie says:
I hope you can get to the bottom of this today. I had 2 D&Cs and bleeding & cramps were done with both a week later. My sister had what you have and she ended up needing a repeat D&C…and lots of antibiotics. Thinking of you and hoping that you’ll shop for a new OB when this is all over.
Nicole says:
Hey momma,I’ve never left a comment before, but everyone responds differently. I had a d & c in 2007, and bled for 68 out of 90 days subsequent. I thought I would die too, butit did evEntually resolve.if you’re not having signs of infection, I’d say trust your body.