My calendar tells me it’s Memorial Day weekend…if it wasn’t for the calendar, I really wouldn’t know what day it was. I haven’t really left my house since Tuesday (unless walking to the curb to get the mail counts). My cramps and bleeding and all around physical recovery have been on the back slide. I think I mentally can’t begin to process this miscarriage until I physically stop feeling like I am going to bleed to death. I spoke with my OB about my symptoms and she said, “Well, some people continue to have cramps for weeks.” When I told her about my dizziness and increased bleeding she said with a nervous chuckle, “Sounds like we didn’t get everything out with the D&C.”

My head pretty much exploded, but I managed to retain the power of speech to finish our conversation. Since I am still waiting for test results from her, I’m not going to elaborate on my feelings…other than to say I don’t really think that’s a responsible thing to say to someone on the phone, because I spent the next 24 hours googling what happens when a D&C fails to “get everything out” and I am a) scarred for life and b) obsessively checking my temperature for signs of infection. It seems like my body is doing its best to finish this so I can start healing, but I’m still frustrated. Has anyone else had bleeding and cramps increase over time? Is this normal?

Mike and my family members have been great while I’ve been recovering, taking care of me and playing with Annie. Yesterday my mom made me move into our backyard, and Annie entertained me with stories about princesses.

this is my Jasmine



Tomorrow Mike is loading Annie and me into the car for a drive up the coast. He is getting me out of the house! Rejoice.