I open my mouth to scream, but no sound comes out.

It happens again.

And again.

And again.

My eyes burn.

There’s a lump in my throat.

I feel out of focus.

My stomach churns and I struggle to not vomit.

I can’t be alone, but I don’t want to talk.

How has it been two years since she was last at home?

How has it been almost two years since she looked me in the eyes and smiled?

Even when she was sick she smiled at me, my sweet precious girl.

I’m not OK

I’m not OK

I’m really not OK.

It’s harder than last year, and “the day” isn’t until tomorrow.

How are we supposed to live without her?

How can ANYONE live without her?

I am greater because she was here, and I am less

because she is gone.

I am not OK

I am not OK

I am really

not OK.