The sky put on a show on Maddie’s birthday.
I did my best to smile and celebrate Maddie. I spoke about her to anyone who would listen. I looked at pictures of her. And of course, we ate cream puffs and sang Happy Birthday.
Annie liked the cream puffs WAY more than she did last year.
The day after her birthday was harder. The day was rainy and cold. I cried a lot. I was mentally exhausted from powering through the day before. I was emotionally drained. I hate the day after…relief that the day has passed, mixed with guilt that I’m relieved, mixed with sadness. It’s a mess. A mess I am, admittedly, glad I won’t have to revisit for a year. Ugh.
Thank you to everyone who bought the song. We don’t have final numbers yet (all the different sales outlets have to report in, math is involved, it’s crazypants) but based on the song making the Top Ten on the Singer/Songwriter chart on both Amazon and iTunes, I think it’s safe to say we sold a lot. I am so touched – thank you all for helping Friends of Maddie support families in need!
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
Much love to you all, in the sad times and the days after. And congrats on the song doing so well! Huge hugs.
So pleased to hear that the song is doing well, I popped over to buy it last week.
Please, take a big breath and try to let the guilt go. I know it’s easier said than done… What you’re feeling is natural and understandable.
Our thoughts are with your whole family
Love to you and your family.
That is a BEAUTIFUL purple sky!
Love, hugs and prayers for you and your family. You guys are in my heart everyday!
Sending a huge big hug your way. xox
I can’t begin to imagine what you are feeling. Maddie is a very special girl, loved by many who never ever had the chance to meet her and her life has had a huge impact on anyone who has read her story. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Mike.
That sky was filled with Maddie, you can just see her in the colors. I’m so glad the song sold well, it is a beautiful song. I thought about Maddie, and about all of you so much on Friday and then over the weekend. Holding you close in my heart. Love and hugs.
Jesika Jewell says:
What a beautiful sky for a beautiful girl. I have read your blog from the day Maddie passed away, I havent missed a day until last week. I have always thought “I just cant imagine how these parents feel” . Now I can Imagine because a month ago yesterday I lost my niece, she was six months old. I know it wasnt my child but being my sisters baby I love them like they are my own. So now I am watching my sister and her husband go through such unimaginable pain and suffering. And I am left trying to find a way to fix it and we all know there is nothing that will. I have never felt so helpless and at the same time dealing with my own grief and loss and pain seeing my sister go through this. They way my niece died makes it so much harder to understand and not be angry. Her dad, who is a wonderful great father, my niece was his first child and my sisters second. He went to work that morning with her in the carseat and got sidetracked and forgot she was there until my sister went to get her at the sitter. It was too late . I go back to your blog and I find hope in the fact that she will have good days or moments atleast , it is honestly the hardest thing I have ever been through and now I understand to a degree how you feel. I know you have no idea who I am but I am greatful for reading about your precious Maddie and now Annie and Maddie for the last two and half years. I find hope and at this time any hope at all gives me comfort. Thank you. My sister has a blog she is writing http://www.thebeaversjourney.blogspot.com I am so grateful she is writing.
Oh Jesika, I am so sorry for what you all are going through. That is so hard and unfair. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. My heart goes out to you all.
Thank you Heather, I am telling everyone I know to please be aware that what happened to my sister and her husband could happen to anyone! Everyone with a child thinks I would never forget my baby in the car, that won’t happen to me. Well it can and the more I have read about this the more I see that it has happened to mothers and fathers who love and cherish their children. And it is almost identical R the way it happened to us. It is an epidemic and the busier and more stressed our lives are the more likely that it can happen. So please if you know anyone that has that busy hectic life and has to shuffle kids between parents and the babysitter tell them to always check your backseat, leave a purse, cell phone, anything that you will need before you get out, leave it in the backseat. It takes 20 mind for a car to heat up enough on a 70 degree day to kill an infant. It is too late for our Kelsie but if another family can be saved from this it will matter.
hugs to you and your family that’s all I can say. I wish I was better with words
It’s so bittersweet to see Annie enjoying the cream puffs just like her sister would have. I’m so sorry. Sending you love.
Oh Annie… that cream puff looks delicious.
Thinking of you and your family.
Peace & Strength
Happy Birthday Maddie
Sending you all peace and hugs. I wish I had the right words but I can’t seem to find them. Take care.
What is it about that horrible Day After? Or the month after? Do we manage to dredge up strength we didn’t know we had to handle the date of significance only to find it all used up and nothing remains for the next day? Ouch, Heather. Huge unholy ouch. I’m sending yet more hugs from another “stranger” who truly feels love for you and your dear family.
My love and heartfelt wishes to you all. I wish I could take the hurt and sadness away and fill the black hole with light and love. I’ll be thinking of you!
I’ve been in and out of the hospital but I did want to acknowledge your post. I’m so sorry your past few days have been difficult. Thinking of you & sending you love & friendship from afar!
Denise Jones says:
Heather and Mike, isn’t it obvious? Maddie felt your longing and sent this beautiful sky! It’s her way of telling you that she is somewhere beautiful, and her way of soothing your sorrow. It will always be hard, but she’ll always be watching over you. ((HUGS))