I don’t usually watch TV shows right when they air. It’s just not normally possible with the way I run my schedule. That means I am able to fast-forward through commercials, so I am not totally in the loop with the latest as-seen-on-TV products or what’s coming up on network TV. But, on Sunday night I watched the live broadcast of the Academy Awards, which meant I saw the commercial for the upcoming TV show Resurrection about…oh, 917 times. That’s 917 times too many.
If you haven’t seen one of the previews for the show, the basic premise I gathered from repeated forced watchings is this: a bunch of people who died are suddenly alive again, un-aged since their deaths. The commercial that plays over and over (and over) features a young boy being returned to his parents over thirty years after he died. The parents are much older and are like, “Our son died thirty-two years ago,” and then BAM there’s their little boy, looking exactly the way he did on the day he died.
(You can watch a long preview on the ABC website, but I am linking with the disclaimer that it literally makes me nauseated every single time I see it.)
The first time I saw the commercial for the show, I looked at Mike and said, “Was that…did that just happen?” The concept of death as entertainment is nothing new. I watch medical and courtroom dramas while Mike watches true-crime shows. People (adults and kids) die in every episode, but these shows are rarely as emotionally manipulative as Resurrection appears to be in a 30 second commercial.
I have to think that anyone who’s grieving will have problems with Resurrection. We all wish we’d had a few more minutes, we all whisper bargains and pleas that our loved ones will return. It’s the not-so-secret fantasy of every grieving parent that our children will somehow come back. In fact, in one of my bereaved parents groups it was common to hear the wish that our children were kidnapped instead of dead, because then we could hold out hope that they would return. Death meant there was no hope, and this TV show is preying on that.
I can appreciate that this is a clever, high-concept idea that hopefully explores some interesting territory, but that doesn’t make it easier for me to stomach. This commercial really hits me the wrong way, but it just seems so insensitive to milk the grieving parents angle. It touches on the biggest fear of many, and the living nightmare of several.
Every night before bed I plead with Madeline to come back to me, because the day I stop asking her to return is the day she dies again. Will the TV show ever discuss the grieving these people had to live with every second of the day? Will it shine a light on the emotional torture of being forced to continue moving forward with your life when one of your reasons for living is gone? I’ll never know, because I’m not going to watch.
Aimee says:
I’m right there with you. I lost my husband and my children lost their 42 year old father suddenly and without warning (rare, undetected disease – first symptom death) December 2012. I am fearful one of our kids will see and pay attention to a Resurrection commercial (they are 16,13 and 10) and think this can actually happen. No thank you, ABC.
Lilian says:
I am so with you on this Heather, in fact, just reading your post made me cry. I am also not going to watch.
Norma says:
I hated the premise of the show since the very first time I saw the preview.
Kelly says:
I watched the original French version and found it very disturbing. I have to agree with you that it is probably not a great choice for bereaved loved ones.
Stephene says:
I am watching the French (The Returned) version and I find it really creepy. I don’t think it’s death for entertainment so much as exploring how wonderful it would be for those who have lost, but also how hard it would be for those who have returned. Most of those who do return have been gone for many years. People’s lives have gone on, those who are left have married new people. How do you fit into a world you left 30 years ago? I was reminded of Castaway.
Cate Cohen says:
I completely agree Heather And said the same on my Facebook page during the Oscars. It hurts to even watch the promos…I hope the show is short lived.
RzDrms says:
You last paragraph…so articulate and gut-wrenching. I’m so, so sorry. This is all incredibly unfair.
Ann says:
Heather. I am grieving too and repulsed every time commercial airs how can network be so insensitive obviously producers have not suffered significant loss or their greed is overwhelming. Hopefully it will not air long.
DianeG says:
I, too, found the commercials too upsetting to watch. The first person I thought of was you, having followed your blog since Annie was a baby. I will not be watching.
shannon says:
I’ve seen the previews..and the show just strikes me as odd. But not until reading this post did I actually tear up and get goose bumps. I lost my mother over 15 years ago but reading this, thinking about the concept of that show took me back to that time. I felt the emptiness in my chest that I normally don’t feel anymore. I don’t actually know if I’m gonna watch. But I can honestly say, I understand why you won’t and I understand what it’s like to love and miss somebody down to the very fiber of who you are.
Megan says:
Thanks for writing about exactly what I was feeling Sunday night. My mom died when I was 10 and I would give anything to see her again. Watching those commercials were hard enough I can’t imagine watching the show. No way will I watch it and I hope to not see too many more commercials for it.
Lisa Maxwell says:
You won’t be the only one not watching. The commercials were creepy and horrible, and every time they came on– all 917 times, my skin crawled. I’m not really grieving for anyone right now, but I can’t imagine wanting to watch a show that’s so obviously a cheap ploy.
Susan says:
Wow, normally when I hear negative about something or even high praise, I tend to want to check it out myself. I am not a huge TV watcher and tend to use Amazon prime so I don’t get the annoying commercials. So, I don’t know this show at all but by reading the comments, I don’t think I want to. The only resurrection I believe in is faith based and not Hollywood. Insensitive and ignorant are key words here.
Valerie says:
Wow, thank you for writing this. I have also lost a child and thought the SAME thing about this show!
Erin says:
I’m so glad you posted this, because I thought I was the only one who found the premise of this show to be immensely upsetting. I unexpectedly lost my mother in 2012, and am still struggling with my grief on a daily basis. I can’t put my finger exactly on what bothers me about the show, but every time that preview comes on I get nauseous and have to look away. For those of us who have lost loved ones who were “too young” to die, it seems almost a cruel, sick manipulation to create entertainment out of the idea that they could return. I just hate, hate, hate the premise of this show.
Meg says:
I also find the commercials incredibly emotionally manipulative and, frankly, gross. A friend was just telling me how another widowed friend is pretty much beside herself every time they come on, and I can’t fathom how much hurt they’re causing to innocent people who just want to zone out and watch “Wheel of Fortune,” you know? I don’t like it. Not one bit.
Maren says:
I had a panic attack the first time I saw it, and now frantically change the channel every time I hear the song they play in the background, hopefully in time to avoid having to see anything. My cousin committee suicide last spring and we are faced daily with the reality that the smiling guy in the pictures isn’t here anymore, and we can’t ask him why.
Kim Wencl says:
I’m totally with you on this one — I can’t believe something like this is considered “entertainment” — I won’t be watching.
Amanda Comeau says:
I also saw that commercial on Sunday night while watching the Oscars and I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach because it’s every parents worst nightmare. I immediately thought of you and of every other parent who is grieving the loss of a child. If that 30 second commercial could leave me feeling so unsettled, I knew it would rip you apart and mess with your head. I’m sorry you had to see that.
Lora says:
I’m not a big TV watcher, but this sounds horrific! I’m sorry you even had to endure the commercial
Emily says:
I’m so glad you posted this….As a fellow grieving parent, I hate hate hate these commercials–and they’re on ALL the time!
Molly says:
I felt that way too, that all those thousands of spots for that TV show were really upsetting/emotionally manipulating.
Karen says:
I find it disturbing as a parent – and have not been through your tragedy. I think it is awful and have no intention of watching.
PattyB says:
My daughter died almost 24 years ago, and to this day I can’t watch a movie or a tv show if I know in advance that a child will be injured or killed. If I happen to not know and see something like that, it hits me in my core. I know what you mean. I don’t think many grieving parents, no matter what stage of grief they are in, will be watching that show. I lost my mother almost 7 years ago, and I won’t watch it for that reason, either. I can’t bear the thought of someone getting one more conversation with their lost parent, when I know I never will.
Leah says:
Absolutely agree. I kept muting the sound when that commercial came on (over and over and over again). Never in a million years would I seek out *entertainment* with that subject matter.
Sarah says:
I have not lost a child, but I was highly disturbed by these commercials. Especially since one of the names they used is the name of one of my children. I have no desire to watch this show and I was definitely put off by how they had to advertise it during every commercial break during the Oscars.
Jackson says:
I don’t think you will have to worry long. I anticipate it will be off the air quite soon.
Crysi says:
When I saw the preview, all I could think was “that book didn’t take long to be turned into film.” I tried reading The Returned last year when it came out because of all the praise it got. I hated it. Never finished it. Couldn’t figure out why I didn’t like it, but I think you hit the nail on the head. I’m hoping the show doesn’t last long. I don’t watch much tv, but when the commercial comes on, I change the channel.
Katrina says:
The commercial for this show creeped me out, too.
Susan says:
Yeah, I hate those commercials. I think they’re creepy, morbid, and just all around a REALLY bad idea.
Similar to what another poster has said, normally when I hear about topics/shows/ideas that seem controversial, I research more about it and watch it for myself to see what it’s all about. Someone who recently saw the commercial guessed that maybe people will tune in for this reason (maybe, maybe not; we’ll see how ratings go). For me, however, I found myself cringing and being bothered to the point where all I could think was, “This is a terrible idea, and gross enough to stop me from even glancing at it”. It’s got just enough of a realistic look to be too close to home, and not enough detachment from reality to feel like television drama. I feel it’s put itself in a horrible position by not choosing one method or the other, but just making itself look downright uncomfortable enough to be driving away viewers entirely.
Cheryl says:
My 8 yr old told me the other night that he prays all the time to see his Nana one more time (my mom died 5 yrs ago last week) I am worried he will see this commercial and tell me that if he prays hard enough it can happen. I do tell him that he will see her again one day (hopefully not for a long time). But this show totally creeps me out and I’m glad I am not the only one. Horrible premise for anyone who has lost a loved one, but especially a child.
Jessica says:
I am reading your post and amazed because I feel similarly. I have not lost a child, but my five year old has a heart defect and I have to come to terms with her medically fragile state every day. When I see this commercial, I feel sick. It’s just too upsetting. I’m surprised by my reaction, too, because tv is sensational and not real and full of fantasy. So, why does this one show bother me so much? I’m so sorry you had to see it and I hope that is the last time.
Andrea says:
I was shocked the first time I saw the commercial for this show, and disgusted with ABC and whatever insensitive person at that network green-lighted this show. Whoever wrote this has never lost a child,grieved for moments you could never have, memories that were never made. Death is final,people do not show up after 30years of being dead. A show like this rakes up pain and grief that people had put behind and moved forward in their journey after losing a loved one. I am rooting for this show to fail, urging others to not tune in, and show ABC what a gigantic mistake they made to put this show on the air.
Becki says:
What a horrible concept. I will never watch this show.
randy says:
Ditto to EACH and EVERY person who found the concept of this show offensive, hurtful, inappropriate, obnoxious, insensitive, etc. I resent the commercials that are out of my viewing control – the show will definitely NOT be watched!
Hope it has the minimal to no interest cancellation looming even BEFORE it airs!
Christa Frantz says:
I couldn’t agree more. Every time I see the commercial, I feel like I’ve been punched in the stomach.
Lisa says:
I just watched the long preview and feel sick to my stomach. I know someone whose son drowned at about that age (swept away in a flooded creek) and that preview was horrifying. I hope she hasn’t seen it, but I’m afraid she will. Ugh. I’m not one for censorship and am drawn to true-crime type shows, but this is different. As a matter of taste, a concept like that is better as a written story. I can’t even fathom how many people feel like they were punched in the gut after seeing that preview.
Erika says:
A women in a community group I’m a part of lost a child recently, and your post was exactly what I was thinking as I watched the commercial during the Oscars on Sunday night. I was horrified that she – and you – had to sit through that promo, as I know she was watching live also. I won’t be watching.
Hope says:
I had a hard time with the commercials too while watching the Oscars. My mom died suddenly when I was 17, almost 20 years ago, and since then I’ve lost other people I love dearly. I think about them every day and I’ve made the bargain countless times to have my mom back. I got to the point I couldn’t watch the commercials any longer and left the room.
Also, as one friend pointed out – have we learned nothing from Pet Cemetary? That’s not the reunion I want.
Jess Z. says:
Yep, thought the same thing. I can barely stand to watch the commercials, and am glad I’m not the only one who gets sick to her stomach. Will not be watching.
Jana Frerichs says:
I have not seen the commercial and this is the first I’ve seen of it. I have no desire to see it and agree that this premise is disgusting.
Priya says:
The first time I saw a commercial, I thought of you. It is so wrong and I will not be watching either!
JT says:
Yes, thank you for putting this into words. I haven’t lost anyone too close to me unexpectedly. (I’ve lost grandparents, but that’s a completely different grief). But I have a friend who just had her sister’s 9 anniversary of her death and another who has the 10 year anniversary of her mom’s death coming up. It kills me to think of them being emotionally manipulated like this. They still grieve every day and miss their loved ones. I’m not going to watch it, out of respect for all of those who have lost loved ones.
Jess says:
It’s based on a book which I read. The book was good. It’s not all happy and YAY THEYRE BACK! I cried a lot and couldn’t sleep the night I finished the book because my mind wouldn’t stop going. I thought what if my gran came back? Lots if what ifs. It really makes you think. The show is actually on Sundance channel in French.
Do I suggest you give it a try? I don’t know. Based upon the book and what I know. I would suggest reading the book first. Just because I know how it affected me. You can put the book down. I don’t know if you would turn the tv off. And live action is so powerful.
Nicole says:
I hate those commercials. The commercials are playing everywhere, not just on ABC. In fact, one played while I was reading your post.
Glenda says:
The first time I saw the commercial I sat in limbo and cried. I lost my mom 8.5 yrs ago. I would love to see her / hear her voice again but definitely not watching this show. It creeps me out and I find it very insensitive. I WILL NOT be watching.
Paula says:
That show sounds like a nightmare and I won’t be watching it. Thanks for the head’s up on it.
I really, REALLY wish people who do shows like this would stop. And think. Just that simple.
Melissa says:
From my understanding this show will be sandwiched between the two shows I watch on Sunday nights but I won’t be watching. I’m so sick of seeing the commercials for it.
I lost my Dad two years ago and almost every night I have very vivid dreams that he is back. It’s hard to wake up in the mornings and realize he really is gone.
I honestly hope the show gets low ratings and gets cancelled quickly.
Lanie says:
“Imagine the impossible” is the lead in & it got me right in the gut when i saw the 8 year old boy knocking on his parents door. (Jake would/should be 8 and I never let my imagination go there – I do however hope/pray that Jake and Sawyer visit me in my dreams and somehow come back to me). I know death is part of the entertainment world but I am with you Heather – this angle makes my stomach hurt.
i saw the preview in January & wrote about Resurrection at that time. I actually thought the show had come and gone until the Oscars. I am also hoping that it is a short lived series.
Jeannine Edwards says:
I lost my 42 year-old daughter July 11, 2011. I agree with you 100
I lost my 42 year old daughter July 11, 2011. I totally agree with your post. My heart breaks again each time I see an ad for the show. I will NEVER watch the show. How can a company that is trying to make money be so insensitive?!!
Annalisa says:
To be fair, the French show, which I’ve watched, is not all roses and sunshine. Nor do those who return do so without cost. To say more is to give away the plot.
Let me just state for the record that in the original show (haven’t read the book, not sure how much was changed in the book), the reactions range mostly from “What the what? Are you some kind of monster?” To “Why? Why have you come back? Why now?”. There’s also a larger twist later in the French version that makes one wonder if the whole town involved hasn’t been trapped in time and space somehow, only its inhabitants didn’t notice soon enough to escape that fate…
Amy says:
I can tell you exactly why I hate the premise of this show. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that we can’t bring back our loved ones. It’s not fair that some had to suffer before being taken from us. And now there is a show that brings loved ones back from the dead? Something that can’t truly happen but so many people so desperately want. And someone thought this was a good idea? No. Just no.
Terri says:
I have to admit I’m intrigued by it, the idea, if only it was more than an idea. My mom is in Chemo to hopefully extend her life a year or 2 years if we are really lucky. She is literally my only support in this world and how I’m going to deal with other parts of my life when she is gone I have no idea. If only it were possible. I don’t think I’ll be watching it. It’s probably not something I should have in my head when the time comes.
AmyT says:
When I started reading this post, my first thought was that I must have read this one already. Then I realized it was because my friend who lost her son 13 years ago wrote very similar words on facebook after watching the Oscars Sunday. I just wanted you to know that your thoughts and reaction were shared by others who have lost loved ones.
Rebecca says:
I have seen the previews and really hadn’t understood that these people were being brought back to life…..somehow I thought they were perhaps kidnapped, I guess because it just never occurred to me that they were deceased (I guess because my mind doesn’t work that way). I don’t know if I’ll watch or not but I AM glad that we do have hope in Christ Jesus that our children will be given back to us in Heaven, if we have accepted Christ as our Savior, there will be a reunion day.
Chantelle says:
I won’t watch it either. I lost my mom to cancer 22 months ago and it’s been really rough for my and my family. The preview of the show left a knot in my stomach. =(
Alice says:
I really hope this show doesn’t last more than a couple episodes. The commercials completely creep me out and the plot seems more than insensitive.
Alexandria says:
Very insensitive. I will not be watching either.
Diane B. says:
I’ve seen those commercials and they get worse with each viewing–thank goodness for the fast forward. Every since I became a mom I can not watch any show or movie that has bad things happening to kids as the premise. Never cared much for them before and now I just can’t stand to even see commercials or previews. I really don’t think the premise of this show can sustain more than a few episodes and I hope it does not last.
kylee says:
I’m sorry that so many people have to live with the grief of losing a loved one. However, I’m at a bit of a loss to understand why people aren’t just as incensed by murder, kidnapping, rape and torture that seems so popular with all the popular American shows such as CSI:(insert city here), NCIS Bones, Castle, Law and Order and so many more. I find these horrible shows, that sadly reflect too closely on the reality in our daily news broadcasts. I know of people who have felt these losses, and no doubt would love for these shows to be taken off the air, yet people continue to watch. I’m sure victims of crime and their families feel the same way you do about having to watch this ‘entertainment’. As do military personnel who’ve lost loved ones in war probably found it difficult to watch Jag, etc. I personally would love it only if we showed renovation shows or romantic comedies on tv, but I guess not everyone likes those either. Thankfully there are plenty of channels to choose from so that we all don’t have to watch anything we don’t like. I just worry that people are becoming desensitized to the violence because it can be seen as entertainment everyday.
Julie says:
I totally agree with you. I was thinking the same thing, but didn’t have the nerve to say it. Thank you. BTW… I lost my mom unexpectedly a year ago, and she was my best friend. I understand grief.
Ellis says:
I could not agree with you more. This is so tasteless-with the song playing in the background…coming home, coming home, tell the world that I’m coming home. Oh my gosh for everyone who has ever lost someone dear to them this is heart wrenching and not real Don’t we all wish that? Of cousre we do but this is too much and it may confuse children. Really, really distasteful. Of course will not watch.
Rosalyn says:
The commercial makes me cry. Can’t believe the network didnot think of the pain of grieving parents, children, husbands, and wives. Everyday I wish my son would return; times helps you accept that returning is not possible. This shows seems to want to undo the mental balance that grieving parents work so hard to achieve so they can function daily. I will not watch it!
Tracey says:
I will not watch this. I can’t even stand the commercials for it.
Susan says:
I’m surprised we aren’t hearing more objections to this creepy and insensitive show. My husband and I were stunned when we saw the ads. I would boycott advertisers, but I won’t watch to find out who they are. Thank you for putting this out there.
Auntie_M says:
A month later….as ABC prepares to air this creepy program, I can’t help but think, perhaps you, Heather & Mike, should post a link to this blog post on the program’s Facebook page…Or ask someone else too do so, so you don’t have to view the page.
I too felt I’ll when I first saw the ad. And then I felt rage–for the unsuspecting families who have experienced loss, ESPECIALLY the deep loss of a child, who suddenly had those commercials thrust upon them.
Yes, of course, I would love it if my nephew never died, if my family never experienced that heart wrenching grief, if my brother and sister-in-law never had to know that babies die on their due dates, that their personalities hadn’t changed so much that their hurt spilled out on others, and if their marriage hadn’t imploded leaving baby brother wondering what happened.
But would I want someone to suddenly walk up my nephew cradled in their arms? NO! Too much time has passed and too many things have happened that cannot be erased. It would be a whole new emotional disaster.
What we want is for the death & grief to have never have happened–not for the one for whom we’ve grieved to show up, unchanged but for being alive & well, nearly 5years later.
These producers and the network are playing with fire here & I hope the show “crashes and burns” quickly!
Auntie_M says:
I swear I hate auto-correct!!! I felt ILL NOT I’LL!!!!