Sometimes it all is just too much to bear.

Mike went back to work on Thursday. It was hard for him to get out of bed. It was hard for him to drive to work. And then it took him two hours to get out of the car and walk into the building.

He came home early. It was too much.

Sometimes we rush things, thinking that a return to “normal life” is what we need. And sometimes it is. But other times it is the worst thing.

Mike broke on Thursday. There is nothing wrong with breaking. In a situation like this, I’d imagine it’s expected.

But still. No one wants to crash. No one wants to watch their spouse shatter.

Thursday was the second-worst day of my life. We have so much pain, and we can’t fix each other.

But I am trying. I have slowly been picking up the pieces of my husband, carefully helping to put him back together. Hoping that the new version of him resembles the old one. Knowing that neither of us will be the same again.

Please don’t stop sending your cards, your tweets, your emails and texts and good thoughts and prayers. We get them all, even if we can’t respond. They are part of the glue that we are using to rebuild our life.

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