Living With Loss

My Inspiration

As I’ve been working on my March for Babies speech for this Saturday’s walk, I’ve thought a lot about the first year I spoke before the March. Because of the tremendous outpouring of attention and donations we received, the March of Dimes asked us to speak at their 2009 event. It was only 18 days…

Seven Years Gone

To say this week is crappy would be an understatement. My yearning for Madeline and Rigby is almost overwhelming. I’d forgotten how exhausting grief is, how it sucks your energy and fogs your mind. My body has given in and I’m sick with a high fever. As weird as it sounds, I’m almost grateful for…

Missing

Our house is strangely quiet. The toys are still chattering, the kids are still rambunctious, but the house is missing the sounds made by its smallest resident. Her growls at the birds, her barks at the doorbell, the clicks of her paws as she followed me down the hallway – parts of the soundtrack of our daily…

Protecting My Heart

I often forget that many of the people I interact with regularly have no idea I’m a grieving mom. Of course, this is ridiculous because the reason they don’t know is because I haven’t told them. Yet sometimes, I still feel like my pain is visible…like somehow, my grief over Maddie is carved into my skin, and strangers…

A New Mission

Today, on what would have been Madeline’s eighth birthday, we want to announce a new mission for the charity we started in her name, Friends of Maddie. Friends of Maddie has been helping families since 2009, when we established the charity with money that was generously donated to us after Madeline died. Over the last six years,…

She Would Be Eight

Tomorrow would be Madeline’s eighth birthday. It’s hard for me to believe I was in the hospital on bed rest eight years ago. When I think back to that time, I remember how not afraid I was. Despite the reading and research I’d done, I was just…I don’t know. Naive? In denial? Both? I do remember…

Glistening Beams Of Light

I’ve been reading the poem my Aunt Kathy wrote for Madeline a lot lately. I wish I could tell my aunt how much this means to me. I miss both of them so much. So Brief A golden haired sprite– she struggled mightily to take her place upon the stage. Her arrival– marked by great…

I Am A Preemie Parent

November is Prematurity Awareness Month, and it’s also Madeline’s birthday month. I am missing my girl so much. We should be preparing for an eighth birthday party and a house full of second graders. When November rolls around, I have a lot of flashbacks to our time in the NICU with Maddie. I’m reposting a…

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