A few nights ago I was flipping through the channels on my TV and came across a special on September 11th. After that one ended, another came on, and then another, and over the last few days I haven’t stopped watching. As I sat on the couch sobbing my way through another documentary, Mike gently suggested that I change the channel. But I couldn’t.
I feel a deep responsibility to watch and read everything I can about the people who died on September 11th. I want to listen to their stories. I want to hear about how some of them sacrificed themselves to save co-workers and strangers. I want to hear about the man who loved his job, and the woman who happened to be there for a meeting. With each new show I watch, I see new faces and learn new names.
Martin J Egan Jr, Durrell V Pearsall Jr, Michael Joseph Cawley, Carlos R Lillo, Michael N. Fodor
Someday Annie is going to learn about September 11th. I know inevitably she will learn the name of the organization that orchestrated the attacks, and she’ll probably learn the names of some of the people responsible. I want to be able to tell her the names of the people I’ve learned about. I want her to know and remember the names of victims as easily as the rest of us remember the names of the men who killed them.
Ann M McHugh, Paul Regan Cascio, John Anthony Sherry, Patrick J McGuire
I know what it’s like to want the world to remember someone. I want Madeline and Jackie to be spoken about for many decades. I want their lives to mean something to people beyond their immediate families and friends. I am sometimes overwhelmed with the need to fill a person’s ears and eyes with the essence of the person I lost.
Richard Herron Woodwell, Frances Haros, Bradley James Fetchet
If I want that so desperately for my own, I have to do it for others, too. So when I watch these programs, I learn new names. I memorize them and search them on the internet. I read about someone’s child, spouse, father, mother, friend. I cry for them, mourn for them, and promise to never forget them.
Sherri says:
Amen.
Heather says:
I found out I was pregnant on September 11. I picked up the phone, watching the second plane and I stared at the space where my cousins office used to be. The nurse said I was pregnant. I had a baby, but I didn’t know if my aunt and uncle still had theirs. It was a day of very conflicted feelings for our home.
We were fortunate, my cousin had taken the day off and was headed in to the office late to pick up some stuff before spending the day with own son. He walked up from the subway moments after the first plane hit.
From what I understand, he still hasn’t really recovered. I don’t know who has.
Despite us being Canadian, we talk about this every year now. I want them to understand where hate can lead. Like you, I want them to remember the heroes and not the villains.
Ellen says:
Hi Heather- I read your blog every morning. First thing! I’ve never commented, but gosh. What a great perspective on 9/11. I remember that day in bright blue Austin, Texas sky snapshots. What you’ve written down here is such a credit to your daughter and your friend. I feel so lucky to know them.
xo, Ellen
Lanie says:
Beautiful post and excellent point about teaching about the details of those who died. You are so right about wanting others to know about our loved ones who are no longer physically with us.
I can relate to the feeling of not wanting your loved ones to be forgotten I will always remember Maddie and Jackie!
I never want my sons to be forgotten. I will tell my twins about their brothers, Jake and Sawyer, but i will now also try to tell details about the lives of those who died on 9/11.
Thank you Heather. Take care.
Heather says:
I will always remember your sons! xoxo
Lindsay says:
For eleven years now, I wake up on 09/11, begin to read the stories, and the tears come, immediately. In a strange way (I guess because this “ritual” feels like my tribute to all those who lost their lives that day), I always worry that this will be the year that I can’t cry, this will be the year I just can’t feel it anymore. And each year, I feel it just as intensely as I did that day. I was 16 then, a sophomore in high school, and couldn’t begin to wrap my head around it that day. I still can’t wrap my head around it.
But I remember.
Thank you for this post, Heather. I loved reading the stories you linked to. We lost so, so many beautiful lives that day.
Lori says:
Beautiful, Heather. … Just tears.
Melli says:
I went to college in Manhattan and my husband and I are both life long New Yorkers. We talk about it every year too. I taped a bunch of special airing this week on natgeo I believe. I was saying to my husband the other day that when something ba happens to people, we at the very least owe it to them to hear their stories.
Heather says:
Yes – I have watched a bunch on National Geographic. Also, TLC and a bunch of the news channels like MSNBC.
cynthia says:
Thank you, Heather, for these links and your words.
There are so many sad (but interesting) shows about that horrible day, but the one that gets me (and, for reals, I am tearing up just typing about it) is Nine Innings from Ground Zero. Everything about those days was so horrible. Baseball tried to make it less so.
Heather says:
I have heard about that one, but haven’t seen it yet. I remember, though, that I felt STRONGLY compelled to go to the first Dodgers game after 9/11. My dad, a newly retired police officer, went with me. The Dodgers had a huge American flag that covered the majority of the field, and every person holding it was a fireman or police officer. It hit me on a totally new level.
Editdebs says:
This was so beautiful. Your heart is beautiful. Thank you for this post.
Liz says:
I live in NYC and rember standing outside over an overpass watching the smoke. I remember driving by fire stations weeks later and all those photos and flowers I’ll never forget those people.
You said this beautifully Heather.
Marie says:
I, too have watched many hours this past weekend and last night. I cry with them. I cry for them. It’s still unbelievable to me that when people called 911 they were told to stay put, rescue would come. I hope that if people learn nothing they learn that if there’s a fire, get out. Just get out!
The mom who said every time I see that plane hit the south tower I see my son die over again. I have watched her many times too and each time it’s fresh grief for her and her son.
Never forget
Hugs from Minnesota
Marie
Heather says:
Yes, that mom’s quote plays over and over in my head. It’s impossible to watch any footage now and not think of it.
Ashlea says:
I’ll never forget 9/11/01. What American could? I remember crying & feeling like my generation had just been ripped off. I was in the 10th grade & my English teacher, whose husband was in the military said, “This just changed everything.” Then going home and watching the news coverage with my parents & no longer feeling safe. I wept for my country and the lives lost.
I’ll never forget Maddie or Jackie because of Mike & your beautiful words. I still enjoy reading stories about them, I’ll click on the related blogs and just get lost for an hour reading about your beautiful loved ones.
With love, Ashlea
Emily says:
Thank you for this, Heather. I read every link.
We must never forget the events of September 11th, but also (and probably more importantly), we must never forget about the people that were lost.
Kate says:
This is beautiful, thank you.
Lisa says:
I couldn’t stop watching the shows either. As sad as it makes me, I will always watch. Still in disbelief that this happened. I know it did, but my mind still wants it to be a mistake. I will always feel that way. I also like to read the stories about those that lost their lives. The amazing heroes, the families that have had no choice but to move on, the babies that never met their dads. I have not been to the memorial, but when I do I want to linger and try and read as many names as I can. They deserve it. And I will always remember them.
Kristin (MamaKK922) says:
I do the exact same thing. I have become as my husband says OBSESSED with Sept. 11 this year. I have always been interested but this year I can’t stop watching and doing internet searches. I probably am obsessed, but I too need to know everything I can about those that lost their lives. I will learn and I will remember. Just as I do with Maddie and Jackie.
Cristy says:
I also watch the shows about 9/11. Sometimes it’s like watching a drama movie… Like that could not have possibly happened. But it did. I remember every detail of that day like it was yesterday. I work in San Francisco and I remember being terrified to go to work; afraid the west coast was next. I sat in front of the TV all day just stunned. We’ll never forget.
Laura says:
I cannot watch the shows any more. In my head, I scream, “Get out! GET OUT! It’s going to go down, GET OUT!” and I know there is no way to stop the horror that is going to happen.
This year, I resolve to not watch it until my children are old enough to watch with me. Then I will watch and explain to them what happened. Until then… Doc McStuffins is as historical as we will get today.
Adrianne says:
You’re an amazing person, Heather. I’m sure those families appreciate you learning about and mourning for their loved one. I plan to go back and read the links that you posted because I think you’re right. It’s just as important (if not more so!) to know their names as the people responsible. Why should they get the spotlight? They deserve none. Your post is a good reminder of that.
Kristi says:
A beautiful post and a beautiful tribute to those who were lost. What an incredible way to honor them, Heather.
Karen says:
Here is a name for you, my friend Dominique Pandolfo. She was an only child and her father had died from cancer several years prior. Her mother Barbara and my mother were and are best friends. Dominique was a young 27. She was only at the WTC that day for a meeting. In so many ways your stories of Jackie! Remind me of Dominique. Both so full of life, loving their shoes!
Please think of Dominique’s mother today.
I have never met you Heather and likely never will. But I hold you and your daughters in my heart always. Madeline, Jackie, my friend Dominique…….they lived for a reason. They have taught us important lessons about living. They will live in our hearts and minds forever. And we will never ever forget.
Heather says:
I will think of Dominique and her mom every year now. I just googled her and her eulogy broke my heart. http://memorial.mmc.com/pgBio.php?ID=209
Thank you for telling me her name. I will never forget it.
Auntie_M says:
As if I weren’t crying before….
meoskop says:
What Heather said, all of it.
Trisha says:
Heather, you walk through life carrying your heart on the outside of your body. You are so tender and loving and selfless and this was an absolutely beautiful post.
We will never forget your starry eyed Maddie, your best friend Jackie! with her infectious smile or those lost on that horrid day. I clicked on every link for those above and read their stories too.
Thank you for sharing with us!
Meg says:
Lovely thoughts on such a somber day. I live just outside D.C. and waited with thousands of others to learn if my mom had gotten out of the city as the Pentagon was hit. I still get chills thinking about that morning. Absolutely horrible. We lost many locals, including the brother of a classmate, in the attacks.
I’m thinking of the victims, their families and our wonderful country today — we will never forget. Thanks for your thoughts and lovely photos.
Heather says:
What is his name? I would love to know it.
Meg says:
Romeo Bishundat. He was from my hometown — and only 23 years old. We all remember him — today and every day.
Heather says:
Thank you! So young. I will always remember his name.
Kristin says:
This is beautiful. Its so important for us all to know and remember those who suffered and perished, to keep their names and their memories alive. To do so would be much more important that knowing who did it or why.
MH says:
Julian Cooper. He worked in the Pentagon. His wife was pregnant with their first child. I worked with him at Litton PRC (Now Northrop Grumman) before I moved on to another company.
My teenager is just now understanding the impact of that day and realizing what happened. He was 5 at the time.
I remember every year those were real people. And so many of their friends and family left behind shattered. Thinking of so many today.
Heather says:
I just googled him: http://pentagonmemorial.org/explore/biographies/julian-t-cooper
Thank you for telling me his name.
Kelly says:
This is beautiful. Your words and your photos are just amazing.
Christina says:
Wow. A lot of people posting “Never Forget” today but yours really has meaning. Thank you for sharing.
Tamela says:
What a beautiful sentiment to remember those who lost their lives that day. I’m a NYer and my husband I were lucky to be out of town on 9/11. His office was right next door to the WTC. We lost 5 firefighters from our hometown that day. There’s a beautiful memomrial to them with a park. We brought our boys there when we told them about 9/11. I thought they needed to learn about it from us and not school. http://voicesofseptember11.org/dev/memorials.php?mem_id=438
Heather says:
Wow, that memorial gives me chills. Thank you for sharing it. I’m so glad you were out of town that day.
Auntie_M says:
What a beautiful & thoughtful memorial! Thank you for sharing about it…I think perhaps only those who live in your area know about it…
TheAvasmommy says:
Well said.
Katrina @ They All Call Me Mom says:
9/11 just happens to be my wedding anniversary. What was once “our” day is now shared with the entire country as a day that will be remembered forever. I always start my anniversary morning watching 9/11 videos on YouTube. It puts me in a sullen mood each and every time, but just like you I feel a responsibility to do this.
hdj says:
My girlfriend and I were talking about this yesterday. How many names and stories do you know of the people who lost their lives at Pearl Harbor? How is that day any less important in the story of our country than 9/11 just because it did not happen during our lifetime?
I was on maternity leave on 9/11, I watched TV for two days, non-stop and then I went into labor. On Friday September 14th my daughter was born. This Friday she will be 11. It was a tragic and terrible thing, but personally, I was going through one of the most amazing and special times in my life. And my family was thrilled to have the distraction of a new baby to remind us that not everything in life is bad and in spite of incomprehensible tragedy, there can be immeasurable joy.
Heather says:
Pearl Harbor is definitely not less important. But my daughter is going to ask me about this day because I was alive during it, so I feel an extra responsibility to know as much as I can about something I witnessed with my own eyes.
Kerry says:
My cousin, Gregg Froehner, was a PAPD officer and part of NY’s special group of first responders. He was in a meeting at the PAPD station in Journal Square when he heard that the towers had been hit. He and some other officers jumped on a train and headed into New York, not knowing what they’d find. He was last seen coming out of the North Tower, but only a part of his gun was recovered. He left behind his mother, father, brother, sister, wife, four kids, and numerous friends and family who miss him every single day. Thanks for remembering.
Heather says:
I just found him: http://www.papba.org/memorials/bios/froehner.aspx
Thank you for telling me his name! I will always remember.
Kerry says:
And I will always remember Maddie, Jackie!, and your little angel baby. You’re an awesome person, Heather Spohr.
meoskop says:
I love that How They Met story, and his photo.
Annie says:
This is truly one of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read about 9/11. You are so right – we need to remember the victims more than we remember those that caused the attacks. Love and hugs to you and your family.
Skye says:
The Newseum in DC has a really nice permanent exhibit on 9/11. I saw it for the first time a few months ago and it brought me back to the fear, uncertainty, and sadness of 2001. The part that touched me the most was the tribute to Bill Biggart, a freelance news photographer who was taking photographs and was killed when the second tower collapsed. There is a display that includes the camera he was using when he died – now crushed. They were able to recover the last photos he took, which are also on display. Very powerful. Personal stories really bring home the tragedy. It is so heartbreaking to think about how every single person who died that day had family, friends, a life cut short. So many stories to tell and so many memories to keep alive. Thank you for posting those links; I’m reading all of them with tears in my eyes and thinking of everyone who lost someone 11 years ago.
Heather says:
Oh my gosh. I just googled Bill Biggart and found those photos – so amazingly powerful. Thank you for sharing. I hope to see that exhibit in person someday.
Skye says:
Oh, wow, I never thought to look up his photos online. Seeing them again, on this day, took my breath away. Thank you for linking to them.
Laurie says:
Breaking my “it’s tacky to leave my own link” rule to say I wrote about the guys I call Chuck and Marty three years ago as part of the 9.11 Project. I light a candle for them every year when I’m home. This year it feels so weird to be in California, I feel ungrounded, and angry all over again that it happened, if I’m honest. Here they are:
http://www.lauriewrites.com/weblog/2009/09/remembering-charles-karczewski.html
So many stories.
Heather says:
Oh no, not tacky at all. THANK YOU. This is amazing. You are awesome.
Kristin says:
09/11/01 was my first day of University. I remember hearing about the first plane hitting the tower right before getting on the Subway, and seeing the second plane hit once getting off of it, at school, at a coffee shop outside of the residence building. Beside me was another 1st year student, from Michigan, who was here in Edmonton for an exchange.
All I remember from that moment was the gasp from the crowd, watching the plane, and turning away to face that student. I could see the color drain from his face (I’m sure it was from all of our faces) but what he said I will never forget:
“My dad works on tower 2. 80th floor. Do you think he’s okay?”
Breaks my heart every year. I always wonder what he did next – did he try and get home? Did he talk to his dad? Did his dad get out? These are all questions I will never get answers to (he and I both parted ways soon after lunch, after watching 5 hours of coverage) and I never got his name. I always think of him every year though, and say a tiny prayer for him and every other child who lost a parent on 09/11.
We will never forget.
Heather says:
oh god. Chills.
Annalisa says:
Can I offer a different perspective, and perhaps the reason behind Mike’s suggestion? Your sentiment about needing to know and remember this day is commendable, but it is not necessary to burden yourself with the extra pain in your life in order to remember the day. Take it from someone who knows.
9/11 was not as hard for me as it was for some, since I lived in Chicago when it happened. I remember spending the day at work wondering if half the people I talked to on the phone from NY (we did legal research at my place of employment, half of it for financial institutions that had branches housed in the Twin Towers) had died or not. I spent the next two days watching TV and sobbing. I did the same thing on the first anniversary.
Yet, I have to admit 9/11 did not touch me as deeply as Hurricane Katrina did less than four years later. At the time I was working with the Red Cross, and let me tell you, I pretty much watched nothing but CNN for days, if I wasn’t talking on the phone to many of the people who had lost everything and everyone in that storm. It got so bad that I would wake up crying, take bathroom breaks at work so I could sob away from the phones, and go to sleep crying. Every. Single. Day. At the height of the need in the Gulf Coast, I was talking to first responders every day of the week, even on Sundays. So the sadness got relentless.
And then at some point, something snapped in me. I realized that rather than feeling the loss of those who had gone through this great tragedy, I was giving myself permission to mingle their pain with my own. 2005 is the worst year I could remember having thus far, and that’s saying something since I’m 36. I was nearly suicidal, and this was before August 29th.
Taking on the pain of other people’s tragedies would not change a thing. It would not erase the fact that over 2000 people lost their lives in their homes, the one place they should have felt safe in. It would not erase the pain of the survivors. It would just be me adding my own personal pain to theirs, a pain I didn’t own, and presumptuously thought I could share. My pain, as it turns out, was different. No less legitimate, but not the same.
Crying for others who I didn’t know aside for their names and the stories their survivors related was a way to distract myself from my own. But by taking the focus away from my own pain, it just made it harder for me to work through it.
I don’t mean to offend. I just want to point out that you’ve had your fair shame of personal loss and heartbreak, and then some. Don’t take on the pain of others. It isn’t your responsibility to bear it. You already have enough to bear for yourself. So, for your sake, take Mike’s advice. It’s okay to change the channel. I promise.
Amanda says:
Heather – This post is touching beyond words. But, what has really gotten me are the memories of loved ones coming through in the comments and your kind words, “Thank you for telling me his name! I will always remember.” I will always remember Maddie and Jackie, the victims included in your post and the loved ones of your readers mentioned in these comments.
Megan says:
This. Beautiful.
My husband is from a smallish town in North Jersey that lost 40 souls that day. My children were born long after 9/11 and I hope that they someday realize the impact of that day.
Auntie_M says:
Thank you Heather! You have truly taken “Never Forget” down to its truest form & meaning. I’m going to go back through and read the new links added in the comments.
Thank you for doing this–sometimes 9/11 just seems so surreal to people who didn’t know someone or who didn’t live in the areas where planes hit. Thank you for remembering the individuals. Those who are loved & missed.
The closest I came to “knowing” someone was my friend’s father who ran the west coast side of Cantor Fitzgerald. He & his staff always had a big conference call to the East Coast staff each morning. So they were on the phone when the planes hit. They stayed on the phone with them for as long as there was phone service while also tuning in to the news so they could see what was happening outside. They also were on cell calls with them…they stayed in contact with them, holding hands, talking, calling their loved ones for them, taking notes for them for their loved ones, & praying until the tower went down and no one was left. No one from that office ever fully recovered from that day.
So once again: thank you for the reminder that these weren’t just towers or buildings or planes: these were people with stories & families & friends.
Annie is a blessed little girl!
Heather says:
Oh gosh, being on the phones with them, taking their last words…I can imagine that the people in the LA office were haunted by that, but I hope they know what an amazing gift they gave to their coworkers and their families.
Auntie_M says:
I think they do…and it affected me too: it brought the horror of it all from the big “blank” idea of the number of “thousands” to the very personal realization of the fact that these “thousands” were actually individuals, who would be loved & missed by families & friends & co-workers.
So thank you for taking the time to remind us that this day, while a national day, is for MANY a very, very personal day indeed!
Courtney says:
I remember hearing this quote recently, and you reminded me of it while I was reading your post (I’m paraphrasing the quote a bit) but it goes something like this: “Everybody dies twice. Once when their heart stops beating, and again when their name is spoken for the last time.” You are doing an amazing job keeping these names alive and keeping them on the lips of others. We’ll do the same for Maddie and Jackie, always.
Heather says:
Yes, that quote really sticks with me, because it’s so true.
Auntie_M says:
So true! And how important for these whose lives were lost: I think that’s why it is so important that their names be read aloud every year!
As for Maddie & Jackie…I too remember them & will keep their names & memories alive.
Tanya Hanson says:
A little girl named Christine Lee Hanson, on her way to Disneyland for her second birthday. was on the plane from Boston Logan. I weep every time I hear her name read. It’s beyond surreal. Thanks for the thoughtful post, Heather. Love you and think of you every day. xoxox
Heather says:
I always remember her name too, for obvious reasons. But I also remember reading an article last year about how the youngest victims are usually overlooked, and that really spoke to me (this is the article http://www.wnd.com/2001/12/12105/ ) since it’s one of my greatest fears. Love you TAnya, hope to see you soon xoxo.
Christine Lee Hanson
Keri P says:
Heather, I’m impressed with your efforts to remember those lost on 9/11. I was in D.C. that day and had many friends in NYC, so I actually have a hard time watching/reading about it. Before I moved to CA, I had nightmares all the time, and separating myself physically and mentally when I moved, helped them become less frequent. Thanks for remembering those lost, in a way that I can’t.
Melissa says:
I live here and work in the financial field. I remember when our office at WFC was closed because the windows were all blown out and some structural damage. I hated going there before the construction was going on because the training rooms all had a view of the “HOLE”. It always made me cry. I lost colleagues. But most of all I lost a very good friend who I went to high school with. His wife was pregnant with their second baby. So remember Danny Afflito in your prayers too. You can read his memorial here.
http://www.legacy.com/Sept11/Story.aspx?PersonID=126835
Heather says:
Oh my gosh. Danny sounded like the kind of guy I would have loved to hang out with. Patio parties! And the fact that he correctly guessed that his wife was pregnant…there are no words. Thank you for telling me about him.
Gwen says:
Thank you for this post. I lost a friend Bobby Evans who was with FDNY Engine 33. He was one of nicest and hilarious friends anyone could ever hope to have.
Heather says:
I found him. I love what was written about him, about his nickname and his love of practical jokes. His smile and his eyes will stay with me forever. Thank you for telling me his name.
http://longisland.newsday.com/911-anniversary/victims/Robert-Evans
Gwen says:
I saw him the night before. My son actually gave him one of his lovies. That’s always stuck with me.
Speaking of remembering, my son planted an orange tree that he calls the Jackie Tree.
Heather says:
He did?! Oh my gosh. You’ll have to send me a photo so I can share it with her parents. Give him a hug for me!
Gwen says:
I will!! I asked him why an orange tree and his answer was because she sounds like sun and I think of sun when I eat an orange. He LOVES all the Annie videos and that’s the main reason he reads your blogs (she’s a little younger than his own sister would be, I think that might be why he’s got a soft spot in his heart for her) but reading about Jackie! affected him, he had just done Relay for Life this year and even asked about a lantern for her next year. He’s 13 and just thinks you are wonderful.
Heather says:
What a sweetheart! Give him a hug for me. I think he’s just wonderful, too.
Courtney says:
Wow, I just read about this man, Rick Rescorla. He was the director at Morgan Stanley and he predicted an attack on the WTC. He drew up evacuation plans and successfully evacuated all but 13 of his 2700 employees and hundreds more. He died when the second tower collapsed on his way back in to make sure everyone was out. Incredible: http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2002/02/11/020211fa_fact_stewart?currentPage=all
Auntie_M says:
I remember reading about him previously… he had amazing foresight that people didn’t want to believe–because who wants to believe something so horrible could come true.
But what an amazing man! And think about all the lives he saved even while he sacrificed his own!
Heather says:
Wow, that man had an amazing life. Thank you for sharing the link!
Jessica B says:
i feel the same way. i didn’t lose anyone personally in the attacks. but i feel so strongly for those that did and i feel that it is my duty to remember and also to learn everything that i can about the people who died and everything that happened that day. my son was 4 years old. he was a very mature 4 year old. i watched the plane fly into the second tower live on tv… but i was at work so i couldnt watch the entire thing. my son called me every time there was an update on the news. it was the first day in his life where he felt the need and desire to watch the news, let alone watch it ALL DAY. 4 years old. After watching the reports all day, he has never forgotten what it felt like to see people jumping to their death, or the fire that consumed the planes with innocent people on them, or the buildings collapsing with those people inside.
Last year, during his 8th grade trip to Washington D.C., all 26 students in his class and 19 adult chaperones got to visit the Pentagon memorial. If you ever get the chance, it’s definitely something that every American should see in their lifetime. and I recomend seeing it at night. it’s meant to be seen at night. Anyway, as I was saying, all 26 of those students remembered that day vividly. For the most part, they were silent while they walked through the memorial, reading names, checking ages, saying prayers. 4 of them came to me to tell me that, as they looked around, they noticed that no one their age died there. Some of them cried. We visited every memorial in Washington D.C. This was the only one that represented something that had happened in their lives. 26 8th graders spent over an hour remembering the most horrible day in the history of their country (from their points of view).
I believe that every child, for as long as we are all alive to tell it, should be able to hear the real stories of people who lived through that day, and the stories of those who did died that day. And I love that, instead of remembering it as one huge tragedy, you are choosing to remember that it was thousands of tragedies that happened on one day. It’s a beautiful respect that you have for those people and all who knew and loved them.
Heather says:
The next time I am in Washington D.C. I will definitely make time to see the memorial. It’s awesome that the kids were so moved and respectful! Although, I think kids are much more insightful than we ever give them credit for.
Auntie_M says:
In November 2001 a friend brought her kids to LA, where I was living, with her sister, at the time, to go to Disneyland. That night I stayed at the hotel with the kids while the sisters (and husband) did Disney at night.
While I tucked in the 3 year old, she began to cry–she was crying for all the people who died in the tall buildings and in planes. She cried for all the kids who didn’t have mommies & daddies any more. I was blown away: 3 years old?! And then she cried because she thought that those people had gone to hell! I’m sure she had heard angry/grieving adults saying that anyone who would do something like that should go to hell or something like that & her little 3 year old brain thought that ALL those people did go to hell. (I have no idea what her 3 y.o. concept of hell was–but I know it made her very sad!) So I sat & cuddled her and told her no, no that didn’t happen at all. That God loved those people who were in those planes & buildings… She was so relieved…she prayed the sweetest little prayer asking God to take care of all the people in the planes & buildings and for all the kids who didn’t have mommies or daddies anymore and then went sweetly to sleep.
It’s amazing how much little ones can take in & is a reminder that when something tragic happens it is good to not only explain but also ask if the child has any follow-up questions! And maybe revisit it later, just to double-check! (As a side note, her mom felt horrible that her daughter had thought been grieving not only for the kids missing their parents but also for these people that she thought were in hell–whatever she thought “hell” might be!)
Auntie_M says:
I liked the quote from the diary of Bradley James Fetchet: ‘You can tell the character of man by what he does for the man who can offer him nothing.’
I think you are like this quote, Heather…you do so much, for so many, but you don’t realize it, nor do you do what you do for recognition.
Ranie says:
I do the same thing Heather, I can’t ignore, I feel I owe it to them to watch and listen to the stories.
Tara says:
You’re really awesome Heather! Thank you for giving me a different perspective.
Mommy says:
You are such an amazing person. I have never even thought to memorize the names of the people I have read about that lost their lives that day. What a selfless, wonderful gift you are giving their families and loved ones to honor their memories in this way. You have such a loving heart; it is truly inspirational. I know you said that you remember these names and stories because of the heartache you have experienced and your desire for Maddie and Jackie to never be forgotten (which they won’t), but it would be more than understandable for you to be a little selfish these days, and only focus on your grief and your own life. The fact that you don’t, and that you go out of your way to keep so many people’s memories alive speaks volumes about your character. I am in awe of you, and because of this post, I will start remembering names of those whose lives were so unfairly taken on 9/11/2001. You are SO right that those names are so important to remember- much more so than the names of the men behind this senseless violence.
I hope the families of the individuals listed here see this post and read your blog. What an awesome gift you have given them to allow their loved one’s life to touch all of your readers. This post seriously took my breath away.
Your Annie is so lucky to have a mommy like you.
Mary Ann says:
On Sept. 11, 2001 I was watching the Today Show, while I was getting ready for work, when the first plane hit. I wanted to keep watching the news but I had to leave for work, and on the way I was stopped at a red light when I heard the news of the second plane going into tower 2. My heart sunk and I immediately began thinking about my neice’s boyfriend Mike. I knew Mike’s Dad worked at the World Trade Center and I prayed that it wasn’t his building that was hit. Mike had been sleeping when the 1st plane hit and someone called to tell him to turn on the news. He said, “I remember watching the news thinking my Dad is going to have some story to tell me about all this when he gets home – and out of the corner of my eye I saw the second plane come into view and hit …”and his voice trailed off. Michael Grady Jacobs his Dad was in tower 2. At his memorial service his co-workers who made it out, talked of him making it almost all the way down from the 90th floor, when he ran into a friend who was on his way up to help his wife who had a broken foot. He climbed back up with his friend to help him bring her down. None of them made it out. Mike eventually married my neice and they had two beautiful daughters. His sister also married and had a son. I know his Dad would be so proud of all his children – they are an amazing family.
Heather says:
Wow, I just looked him up. What an amazing man. To go back up…so much courage. I don’t think I could do it. Thank you for telling me about him. http://www.legacy.com/Sept11/Story.aspx?PersonID=139441
Mary Ann says:
Thank you for the wonderful post. There is nothing more precious than keeping the memory of people we have loved and lost alive in the hearts of others. I will never forget your sweet Maddie and I will never forget those wonderful souls who touched my life on 9/11 .
Cornelia says:
Heather, I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now and have always appreciated your willingness to share your story, your experiences, your lows and highs, your grief and joy. I am very sorry also for the recent loss of your dear friend Jackie.
I thought you might be interested in our story about 9-11 that is active and ongoing every day still 11 years on – I am someone who was directly affected by 9-11. My husband lost his sister that day; she was a young single mom in the Navy working in the Pentagon and had a 6 month old son she was raising with the help of her parents. After a few years of his living with his grandparents, we all decided that it would be a good fit for him to move into our family and we adopted him. He’s now 11 1/2 and a wonderful son. He reminds us of his mother (my sister in law) all the time. We also have a daughter who is 7 1/2 and a son Maddie’s age (he was born Feb 25th) and so he has loving siblings who will never know a time when he wasn’t their brother. But he’s lived a whole life story that they are still coming to understand. It’s an interesting road to navigate – sometimes hard, mostly amazing, and I’ve learned a lot through the experience. Anyway, I was inspired to share it with you.
Heather says:
Oh, you are amazing. Thank you for telling me about her. I would love to know her name, so I can remember it always.
Cornelia says:
My sister in law’s name was Jamie Lynn Fallon. I think Kahleb (her birth son; our adopted son) was one of the youngest ‘orphan’ survivors of 9-11 since his father wasn’t part of the picture and his mother was killed). She was 23 in 2001.
Also, I made a mistake in the ages of my own children – our son Will is Annie’s age almost exactly, not Maddie’s. I’m sorry for the mix up. I think of your Maddie so much that when I wrote my post, she was on my mind. I love reading all your posts about Annie especially since she and Will are cut from the same cloth personality-wise and they are just about the same age (he was born a month after Annie).
You got some really moving responses to your post. They are inspiring to read. Thanks for opening up the conversation. xx
Heather says:
Thank you for telling me her name! I saw her picture – such a big gorgeous smile.
(and no worries about the mix-up, I do stuff like that all the time!)
Kayla says:
I completely agree with your entire post – it’s exactly how I operate too. If I ever feel like “I can’t watch this documentary anymore” or “I can’t think about it, it’s too sad,” I *make* myself watch it because…it’s all I can do. It’s my duty to not look away.
I was only nine at the time and so most of everything went way over my head, but I still vividly remember that day. I remember waking up in my mom’s room, and the way the sun was slanting on the bed. I woke up with a smile – very happy. I remember then turning my head and seeing my mom sitting at the end of the bed, on the phone, the news on in front of her sobbing. I remember the female news reporter had platinum blonde hair and I remember the image of the plane circling and hitting the building on repeat.
I will never forget.
Paula says:
As a New Zealander, I woke to the news, and was watching it on tv when the second plane hit. I worried about a friend who worked there, he was fine, I heard from a friend in DC driving close by when the plane hit. Having lived in NY for several months just a few blocks from the WTC I was devastated by the loss of so many lives and such an iconic part of the NY sky line.
What you may not know is that a New Zealander died that day. His name was Alan Beaven and he was one of the heroes of Flight 93. He too should not be forgotten.
I remember Maddie And Jackie! every day. And I will remember Alan, even though I never knew him.
Heather says:
I actually did know about him! Thank you for the reminder. http://www.unitedheroes.com/Alan-Beaven.html
ColleenMN says:
I haven’t read all of the comments, so if I repeat one, forgive me! It is important to remember the people of 9/11. When people die senselessly or tragically, it is imperative that we remember. But sometimes, we can consume ourselves with grief trying to bring meaning to these lost lives. Let us remember these lives as a society, a culture, and a nation. If you try and remember each individual, his life and story, you will forever be chasing that grief. Where do you stop? 9/11, Columbine, the Colorado shooting, the shooting at the temple in Michigan, Afghanistan, the World Wars, Viet Nam etc. Leave the individual grieving to the ones who have loved and lost and join the collective efort in grieving, together, as a nation. Watch the memorials, give to an aid fund, watch TV specials, they all are part of a collective grieving. I worry more than a little bit about you trying to take it on yourself. If you do, there is no end…sadly, tragedy is everywhere, everyday. Be part of a whole and grieve with others for support. But, don’t be afraid to live either, because every person’s name you read about and yearn to know, would give anything to live the life you have. I think that by just living life to its fullest is the most perfect way of honoring people who have lost their lives.
Heather says:
I disagree. It’s not a slippery slope. I’m not chasing grief, I’m remembering life. To say that remembering individuals should be left to the ones that loved them is insulting and very hurtful to those who have lost loved ones.
ColleenMN says:
I am ColleenMN and I did not post that, someone is using my name. I only posted about the dogs! Check that poster’s email…..
Heather says:
Same email addresses on both…colleen58@C******.net. Different IP addresses, within a few miles of each other.
Heather says:
It was probably a glitch that day! No worries.
MNMom says:
Sent an email, but the only post I made was MNMom, and it was about the first responder dogs. I also sometimes use ColleenMN when I use my ipad and forget my other name! This concerns me if someone else has my email……
Heather says:
The comment is two years old, so maybe you don’t remember leaving it? You’ve left other comments from that IP address in the past, so I don’t think it’s someone else using your email.
Lenora says:
I too tend to get obsessed watching all of the specials. I also find a few of the sort of different ones fascinating. There is “The Woman Who wasn’t There” about a woman who claimed to be a survivor and having lost her fiance in the towers but was actually an imposter, “The Falling Man” is about an amazing picture a journalist took of one of the poor people who fell and the search to identify him and a Frontline one (you can find it online) called “The Man Who Knew” about John O’Neil who was a former FBI agent who came very close to figuring out the plot and who ended up dying in the Towers as head of the Twin Towers security.
Heather says:
Wow, I’d never heard of that woman who faked everything! Wow. Awful! I will look up the other ones.
Lenora says:
By the way, thank you for the links. While I agree with the posters who are worried that you are taking on too much grief, I also respect your need/desire to remember all of the names. I’m sure like you, their family and friends who be comforted to know that they are remembered.
Heather says:
I said above, it’s not taking on grief – it’s remembering life. Jackie always said that she didn’t wanted to be remembered for how she died, but for how she lived. I think a lot of the victims of September 11 would feel the same way.
Lenora says:
Well, if it helps you that’s all that really matters. And now, kind of off topic and just a superficial observation but one that I have been thinking about since reading your posts about Jackie. She was a beautiful woman, definitely one of those where you could see her inside shine through. Because I have the idea that the short hair wasn’t planned, I think it’s interesting how it seemed to make her even more beautiful. Anyway, sorry to babble but that really struck me.
Heather says:
Yes! We all joked that it wasn’t fair that she could look so good with long hair AND a pixie cut. The short hair really suited her features.
Meegs says:
This is beautiful.
A good friend of mine lost his brother, James Gadiel, that day. He worked in one of the towers. On the fifth anniversary I wrote about Noel Foster, also in one of the towers: http://meegs1982.blogspot.com/2006/09/noel-j-foster-age-40.html
Karen says:
This struck a real chord with me, Heather, and reminded me of something I once wrote about my own reflections on why I follow as many blogs as I do.
“As I began the daily ritual of checking on ‘my kids’ and their families, one thing began to stick out for me as a reason for why I was taking the time, outside my own selfishness. I am not particularly good at putting myself first, or even second and third, and for a while it worried me that I was sharing in something that I wasn’t really connected to. Was it voyeuristic? It wasn’t creepy that I was looking into a family’s private moments and absorbing them with all the love and devotion of a daytime soap advocate, was it? For I while, I struggled to find a motivation that wasn’t entirely self-serving and then a few commments across several blogs that seemed to touch upon the same point made me realise that, for these families, their reader-base is vital. Whether their child is still battling or won their eternal youth, blogging seems to be more than just a way for the families to keep people up-to-date and to vent when things get tough. Don’t get me wrong, those things are paramount, but a common fear amongst parents, especially if their child has earnt their wings, is that the world is going to forget. The world goes on, new things are created, things change, entrophy continues, and their child isn’t there. The footprints stop and families appear to live in understandable fear that the tide is going to reach up so far and with such persistence that, eventually, the imprints that do exist are going to vanish. I think I can just about empathise with that without being presumptuous.
So, me, I’m a footprint warrior. My one job? To remember. In some cases, the memories are still amassing and those long lines of appearing footprints are the most awesome things on Earth to watch form. In the cases where the line has stopped, I cherish what was achieved, feel blessed to have been allowed access to the breath-takingness of some of the best kids on the planet and I remember. Remembering is vital.”
Stephanie says:
I was an exchange student in the US in 99′ (Im Australian) and my host Dad died in the North Tower.I was 16 at the time and back home in Oz when my Dad woke me to tell me I had to get up and watch the news because one day I would have to explain it all to my own children.I saw the second plane hit on live coverage.I didn’t know at the time that my host dad was in there,the family had just moved there from San Fran and I didn’t know he was working there yet.I didn’t find out until a day later when my host sister texted me from College.His body was never recovered.
I was so heartbroken.It was so hard to explain my loss because it seemed so far away to a lot of people here,but to me it was on my front door.He was so special to me.I actually speak of it very rarely,It’s a tough subject for me,because he wasn’t my blood but the loss feels so deep for me,like losing a parent or family member.I find myself watching everything that comes on TV about it too out of respect.My husband says it’s my way of punishing myself for not being able to be there for them.I don’t think that’s it.
I just want to remember.”It is only when we forget history that we are doomed to repeat it.”
Thank You for remembering them Heather.
x
Heather says:
oh WOW. I am so, so sorry. That is so awful. I will remember him, always.
Kay says:
I read this the other day, but my computer was on the fritz. It’s amazing to me to see that someone else feels this same desire o know the stories. I watched the second plane hit from my elementary school in Queens. My neighborhood was very hard hit with most of the adults working as NYPD officers, FDNY, or corporate workers. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but there’s an amazing documentary simply titled “9/11” by a set of french filmmaker brothers (I’d tell you their names if I could find the dvd) where they shadowed a FDNY rookie. He was a “white cloud” so they stayed in the firehouse for the entire summer. There were two brother, one the chief, one the lieutenant, who were friends of my parents that you see in the film. The lieutenant, Kevin, died in the towers after he and some of the others went up to save trapped people. Every time I watch it, I lose it, but I always feel like I owe it to the people we lost to learn their stories.
Lisa says:
Such a beautiful tribute, Heather. I also get hooked on watching the stories about this day. It’s heartbreaking. I hope we never forget and that every generation teaches the next about what happened on September 11, 2001, because that’s the only way these people will continued to be remembered, and we can stay focused on doing all we can to keep it from happening again.
MNMom says:
I saw on Facebook, a memorial for the first responder dogs. As it was 13 years ago, out of 100, only 15 are left. Today we will say goodbye to our dog of 14 years. She was just a pup when that horrendous day happened. In a way, I am glad it is on 911 because I will never forget the date. I will never forget 911 and the people who had their last day on earth that day. Such a stupid, stupid act of hate. The only thing we can do, is every day, remember to love, embrace, compromise and accept.
Damita says:
Thank you for this post. A friend on FB made a post last year about how she didn’t understand how anyone could watch the 9/11 specials on TV. She thought it was morbid and depressing. I agree with you in that we must not forget those who lost their lives and we owe it to them to hear their stories and learn their names. I am so upset with myself because this year I didn’t remember to watch the specials. I barely know what day it is because I’m bogged down at work. I am making it a priority to go home tonight and find some specials to watch/record.
I heard on the radio today that schools in Houston aren’t even teaching the kids about that day. Not even going to bring it up. Some teachers were told that there’s “no time” or that it’s too violent. How can we NOT acknowledge this day and educate our children on how it has changed the way we live?
Kay says:
I lived in Queens at the time, and watched the second plane hit from a school window. My neighborhood was particularly hard hit, comprising almost exclusively of FDNY, NYPD, other city employees and white collar workers. We were sent to the playground so some of the teachers could compose themselves, and I just remember speaking to this one kid, Frankie, who I had known for a few years, and whose dad and uncle were high school friends with my mom and uncles. He was standing, barely moving in the middle of the playground. I asked him what was wrong (we were fifth graders in suburbia- we had no idea what terrorism was) and he just looked at me and said “my dad’s dead”. Unfortunately, he was right. He was working in Cantor Fitzgerald when the plane crashed into his floor. Over the next few weeks, my mom would get calls or my dad would come in with news of different people who had died. The worst was my moms friend Kevin. He loved her, and had once offered to marry her and adopt my brother and I when things got bad with my dad. I remember hearing her cry when my dad told her about his death, even though everyone was sure he had died. There were actually journalists doing the documentary “9/11” who captured images of him after his brother (also a fireman) decided to send Kevin and his crew into the tower to rescue people.