Every day we look at each other and say, “I miss her.”

“Miss” is such an insufficient word for how we feel. But IS there a better word?

Crave, desire, long, need, pine, wish, yearn, these are all descriptive words, but they don’t quite do it…they don’t convey the hole in our lives, the ache in our souls, the piece of our heart that is gone.

We used to jokingly say that we needed a better word to describe her. Cute was too ordinary, luminous too mature, and happy an understatement. But she was all those things.


You're in the cage with me!

happy girl!

It’s been over five months. The shock has worn off, but in a way, it hasn’t. I am still shocked every day when I wake up and she isn’t there. I’m still shocked that I wake up at all. It hurts so much that I sometimes honestly think it will kill me. That one day my heart will just stop beating because it’s too broken.

Our daughter is gone, and the words to truly describe how it feels don’t exist. The words that do exist are simply inadequate.