I had a thing to go to yesterday, so I shopped my closet to see what fit my bloated-not-pregnant body. Annie stood there watching me…she watches everything I do. At one point I was standing there in just my bra, and she said, “Mama, I kiss da baby in your belly.”

We’d told her about the baby, in very general two-year-old-friendly terms. Mama has a baby in her belly, that sort of thing. We didn’t really think she’d understand. But then she’d see me after I’d give myself a shot, and she’d say, “Got a boo-boo on your belly? Annie kiss it?” I didn’t want her to think the shots hurt (Shots are awesome! Yay! Look over there at that shiny thing!) so instead I’d say, “No boo boos, but want to kiss the baby?” She kissed my stomach after every shot. It really did make me feel better.

hopefully
How we told my parents

When the shots stopped, I stopped mentioning the baby and getting kisses. It’s been over three weeks, I didn’t think she’d remember. But of course she did. I stood there for a second, trying to think of what to say. Since she obviously remembers everything, I wanted to be careful.

I finally said, “Honey, there’s no baby in there anymore.”

She looked at me, and then said, “Oh.” A few moments passed, then, “Where go?”

I kept it simple, “The baby is gone…like Maddie.”

Her eyes got wide, “OH! OK! Like Maddie!” She smiled.

I stood there and looked at her as she twirled and stared at herself in the mirror. I didn’t want to think about her asking me these questions over and over as she gets older. But I know she will.

She turned around and looked at me.

“Mama? You need diaper.”

She really misses nothing.

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