The first night I was in Miami I jokingly said to my roommate Amber that I was going to get up early to take a picture of the sunrise. As much as I wanted to see the sun come up, I was never going to actually set my alarm to wake up at the west coast equivalent of 3:30 am, especially the night after a redeye. I slept right through that sunrise.
The following morning, however, my well-documented insomnia kept me up for most of the night. I eventually gave up trying to sleep and headed down to the beach.
I sat on the sand, and as the waves lapped the shore I finally had my April Emotional Breakdown. April is such a crappy month, but for most of it, I felt extremely numb. As much as I hate April, I didn’t want it to end.
At the beginning of February, Jackie! found out that her tumor was growing again. She was on her “worst case scenario” treatment, and it had stopped working. Her doctor gave her three to four months.
She enrolled in a phase one clinical trial that proved to be incredibly brutal, and she withdrew after two rounds. She’s now on another drug, and every night I squeeze my eyes closed and wish with all my might that it will slow the growth and give Jackie! more time.
But I am realistic. And powerless.
She’s made it to the three month mark that her doctor first presented. I’m scared and I wish I could slow down time so she can continue to enjoy this patch of relative goodness she’s been experiencing. I wish I could speed up the time of everyone around her, so she can witness everything she’s supposed to see and do everything she dreamed of doing. I wish I could go back in time and go to med school and figure out a way to fix her.
But I am still powerless.
I sat on the sand and watched the sun light up the sky and my face. Later that day I got on a plane and I followed that sun to San Francisco.
I landed after it set.
Lissa says:
There is nothing to say, no comforting words that will make this all ok. Just picture me beside you, sitting in the sand in silence, holding your hand and watching the waves.
While the majority of us here do not know you in real life, we love you all the same. We are here, holding your virtual hand.
Beth says:
Yes. Always with you, Heather x
Jenn says:
It’s 5:25 a.m. where I am & the sun is slowly making it’s appearance. As I read your post tears rolled down my cheeks and I too feel powerless. Ever since the night I received the terrible message from Jackie about her Dr. only giving her limited time I have prayed & pleaded with God for her recovery or at the VERY LEAST more time.
Since I’m not a close friend, well more of an acquantance really, I was hoping the trail she is now on was proving to be “the miracle drug” but since I wasn’t a close friend, I just wasn’t in the “know” yet. Reading your post today hit me hard…No Miracle Drug – I feel sick.
I just want to take you in my arms and comfort you. I wish just like with Maddie, I had some profound words that would somehow soothe you and make it all alright. But, I know there is nothing I say or do that will take away even an ounce of your hurt….again I cry.
I look at pictures of Maddie and Jackie and the reality of just how unfair life can be hits me like a ton of bricks. It’s hard not to stumble. I’m sorry this is happening. I’m sorry you are hurting with such a vengance as you cling onto time. I’m sorry Jackie, who is such a beautiful soul has to even face this horrible reality. It’s NOT fair….None of this is!!!
Even though it seems so….minimal Heather, I do want you to know I am here for you and Mike during this terrible time. I will continue to pray and plead and hope for that miracle Jackie so deserves to receive!!!
God Bless …xoxo
Audra says:
I’m so, so, Heather. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Jackie.
Audra says:
I’m SORRY! So sorry. you two obviously have an amazing friendship. I still think about the post you wrote about how Jackie! came right to your house after Maddie died and you were laying down and she got in bed with you. Then she went out and bought you a purple dress and even remembered the Spanx. Most people aren’t lucky enough to have a friend like that.
Melli says:
Ditto. Hugs!
Ysaan Proks says:
Heather,
No words I can say will help you feel better. I pray Jackie! will come through this and live a long happy life.
I’ll be in Los Angeles in July if you wanted to meet and i could give you a huge hug.
TamaraL says:
I’m sorry Heather…
ClassyFabSarah says:
Praying for Jackie! and for you. So stinking unfair.
Lauren says:
I’m so very sorry for all Jackie! is going through. It is so unfair.
Meghan says:
Miracles happen. We will pray for a miracle for your beloved friend! I’m so sorry that she, you, and your friends and family are going through this.
shannon says:
Praying for Jackie!. And I want to say that your words, your pictures, and your friendship are a beautiful thing.
Staci says:
There were dew drops on some beautiful flowers right out front of where I grab coffee this morning. I snapped a photo (thankfully, I had my camera) as I could only imagine what tears from Heaven look like. I’m so very sorry for any pain that Jackie! has to endure. And for yours. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
Kelly says:
This is so unfair. Jackie is such a positive, strong woman from what I have read here and seen in the pictures you’ve put up. You and those around you have had to deal with so much, and you’ve turned it into positivity and help for others. I can only hope for a miracle, or at least peace for Jackie. She’s already passed one milestone, maybe she can keep passing them. My heart goes out to you.
Stephanie says:
I’m so very sorry. Praying for Jackie!
Pattie says:
Reading this broke my heart. I think a lot of us suspected something was going on with Jackie!, but it was still hard to read the confirmation of that. She’s made it to a three-month mark; I hope she makes it to another three months, and another three months, and so on. I will continue to keep her in my thoughts and hope for a miracle. She (and you) certainly deserves one.
Stay strong, Heather. We’re all here for you.
Liz T. says:
Complete stranger just thinking of Jackie! and you.
Staci says:
For you.
http://abrandnewending.com/2012/05/09/763/
J+1 says:
You and Jackie! are in my thoughts. We are all so powerless against the monsters, but we can love hard for as long as we can.
SJ says:
Hauntingly beautiful, Heather.
edenland says:
I’m here, readin’ your words. Trying to absorb some of your pain.
I wish I could do more.
I have never seen a sunrise. You make me want to see one.
xxxxxxxxxx
kakali says:
Sobbing and crying. This kind of incident always reminds me about my loved ones.Please don’t give up. Something miracle is going to happen. Jackie is such an amazing person!
Susan says:
I’m so sorry.
I do not know you in real life, but I’ve feel like I’ve gotten to know Jackie! through your writing. Her strength and determination always came through in your blog.
Jackie!, Heather, I’m thinking of you both.
giselle says:
I’m thinking of you and Jackie! and hoping for the best case scenario from here. Jackie! obviously has an amazing spirit and the world would not be as bright without her. I know that just from what you’ve said about her, so I’m sure in reality it’s even stronger than that.
Susan says:
I read your posts often and never really comment- I just never had the words. Thehttp://somethymewriter.blogspot.com/ only word I can say for this post is beautiful.
Kayla N. says:
Heather, I am sending you and Jackie! all my love and thoughts and prayers.
Glenda says:
Beautiful post about love and friendship = priceless. It makes my heart ache. For you. For Jackie. It’s so not fair!!! Peace and strength. Hugs!!!
christine says:
So sorry…
Sleeping Should Be Easy says:
So sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she pulls through, and wishing both of you tons of strength and hope.
Sonya aka Glam-O-Mommy says:
I’m praying for Jackie! It’s so awful to feel powerless, but you are doing what you can-being there for a good friend.
I hope time slows down for you both. *Hugs*
Lanie says:
There is no sun out in Atlanta today. I am hoping with you that the drug allows Jackie! to have more time. I have also thought a million times since my sons have died that I should have gone to medical school. Sending good thoughts, peace and hugs to you and Jackie! I wish I could do more. Take care.
Madi says:
I’m so sorry, Heather.
I know that powerless feeling so well. It’s so truly and utterly awful.
I just went through that with my little dog. My beloved little dog, who died in my arms.
I was acutely aware that she was dying; there wasn’t anything I could do. I watched her slip away more and more every day during her last week, but she wasn’t ready to leave. She didn’t give up until moments before she passed…and even then, she waited for her dad to arrive home. Her heart stopped a moment my husband walked in the door.
So while I wasn’t in control, I believe that she was to some degree.
The sunrise bit really resonated with me.
I’ve always been a morning person, so I often get up to see the sunrise. My dog and I would often walk together (and after she became paralyzed a few years ago, she’d plug along in her wheelchair or ride in a little dog stroller or I’d carry her against my chest in a doggy sling) and we’d watch the sun come up over the flat Florida landscape.
Sometimes, we’d walk together; other days, we’d sit together, cuddling on the lawn. It was funny; she’d sit and watch the sunrise with me. She didn’t want to play or explore (very unlike her — she was a MinPin, so enough said!) — it was like all that existed in the world was me, her and the sunrise. In those moments, it was all that mattered to us.
As we walked or cuddled in the dawn — it was our special time together; our ritual — near the end of her life, I’d look at the sunrise and thank god she was here for one more day.
And I’d look at the sunrise and realize that someday, she would be gone, but the sun would continue to rise. I dreaded the day that I would watch that sunrise alone.
Each day, I begged and pleaded and hoped for more time together. For one more sunrise.
I miss the sunrises. I can’t look at it now without remembering my little dog and our special time together (which still just makes me breakdown in tears….which sucks. I loved my little dog so much; I hate that her memory makes me cry.)
I hope someday I’ll be able to look at the sunrise again.
Madi
Courtney says:
I am so sorry, Heather. Life is so unfair, stealing from us those who we treasure so much. I hope Jackie! has more time than the doctors say, and I’m glad you’re able to spend these precious moments with her. My heart hurts for you.
soleil says:
I am so sorry Heather I am praying for Jackie! My best friend nearly died this week but will be ok. I didn’t realise what a big part of me would go with her until now. I wish I could make this better for you and Jackie.
Kelly says:
I am so sorry. I’m glad you are able to spend time with her. As hard as it is to see a loved one sick, it is so good for them to have friends like you. I have prayed often for Jackie. My aunt died of a brain tumor almost five years ago, at 52. It was just such a hard time for all of us.
Thinking of you all.
mccgoods says:
Oh I am so sorry. Thinking of you always.
Kayla says:
I know you don’t like sorry’s and that Jackie! doesn’t like being called inspirational, but it’s all I have right now. I’m so very, very sorry and I think Jackie! is incredibly brave and inspirational.
Thinking of you and yours, as always.
J from Ireland says:
This is just so sad. I’m so sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with your friend Jackie and you all too.
Jolene says:
NO Heather, NO! Jackie was someone I looked to as an inspiration and hope that I clung onto. Looking at her and reading your posts about her made me cling onto hope that someone can really survive this shitty disease. My brother-in-law has been fighting it since 2007. He’s on his 4th chemo. I am so, so sorry you are going through this. I however, will still cling onto the HOPE that Jackie! WILL survive this…and so will my Henry. Please God…
Auntie_M says:
Crying for Jackie! and for you…life is so unfair!
Megan says:
Keeping you all in the light.
Marta says:
Sometimes I get lost in the unfairness. The undeserved. I am sorry. I am sorry that this has to happen. Wishing you the best, always.
xoxo
Candice says:
I wish I knew what to say. I don’t. I wish I could make it better. I can’t. I guess there is nothing I can say and no way I can make it better, but know that I am thinking about you and sending prayers your (and Jackie’s) way. Life is so unfair. I’m sorry.
Lisa says:
You girls need a trip. Maybe to keep chasing the sun. Even if it’s short jaunt….just to view the beauty together. You both deserve and owe it to yourselves.
Thank you as always for sharing.
Skye says:
I’m so, so sorry. I hope Jackie! can keep fighting for a long time. You two have a beautiful friendship and I can’t imagine how either of you must feel. Thinking of you both every day.
Jackie says:
I’m so very sorry to hear about your friend.
Molly says:
These are such gorgeous pictures. Thanks so much for sharing this–you put it so well. Powerless. Sending love and support to Jackie! who I’ve never met.