Madeline was a little girl who knew what she wanted. When she wanted to be held, she let you know, but if she wanted to be on her own there was literally no holding her back. She loved to play with people but she also really enjoyed playing alone. It always made me laugh when I’d be sitting on the floor playing a game with her, and then she’d turn her back and crawl over to another toy, leaving me behind. We all quickly learned to follow her lead.
I loved watching her play alone. I could see her mind figuring out how things worked. I imagined that she was making up stories in her head the way I used to when I was a kid.
showing off her mad playing skillz
it’s not a mess, it’s very well organized chaos
Sometimes, I’d haul my body off the floor onto the couch, and I’d read or edit photos while she played. And then, suddenly, she’d decide she was done playing alone, and she wanted the attention of a certain person in particular. Often, I would look up from editing a photo of her to see this face:
I’m done playing alone now, Mommy.
She often found more creative ways to get Mike’s attention.
I look up countless times a day, expecting to see her peeking at me from the other side of the couch, or from behind my computer screen. What I wouldn’t give to scoop her up and play a game, only to have her crawl away to make up her own adventures. I think I will always expect to see her big blue eyes looking back at me.
I simply can’t imagine where she got that independent streak. Love you mama!
beautiful little angel
.-= pamela´s last blog ..To My Very Special Grandma =-.
What a cutie. Those eyes, those eyes…
.-= Candice´s last blog ..Not Me! Monday =-.
catherine lucas says:
Very creative indeed with her dad. I almost can feel her little finger in MY ear… The loss is all in the small daily things Heather, things that other people take for granted is extra special to you and your family. It might have been her strong will that took her as far as life took her. Many other babies would have given up long before she did. You and Mike nurtured her independence, it does suck big time that life treated her so unfair!
.-= catherine lucas´s last blog ..A town called Chipping Campden! =-.
Her eyes were so beautiful! So precious.
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..The Rings =-.
Anne Smith says:
I’ve been reading here for a while but haven’t commented yet cause I wasn’t sure how this would take, but Maddie has made me appreciate my 2 babies even more than I did before. Thank you for sharing your days with us! Each night I pray for your Maddie and my own two babies before I can go to sleep. Congratulations with Binky, I can imagine how hard the second can be, I also lost my first.
.-= Anne Smith´s last blog ..Sleepless in Seattle =-.
I think those eyes will always shine on you from Heaven, but most especially in your memories.
If you look, you’ll see Maddie’s eyes flash at you as you pass any picture or memory of her …they’ll always be there…
They will always be our beacon, our lighthouse….it has taken little steps to get us out of our worst…our nightmare…
…the thing that was once our darkest, but that always shone beneath the surface of us and will always be there but eventually becomes a bright shining light when we need it most….
…like a shiny friend, when we least expect it…but when we most need it….
Let’s all shine on . : )
.-= KIM´s last blog ..Bah Humbug….. =-.
I’m glad you took so many pictures of her so her beauty is always with you, and us.
Lesley O says:
Such beautiful big eyes!
I am loving being a first time mom… but it’s reading your blog that has made me pay attention and appreciate the little things my son does all the more. I thank you and Maddie for giving me those little gifts that I might have taken for granted otherwise.
Thinking of (and thanking) you and your family every day.
What a beauty. I think my favorite pictures of her EVER are the two of her saying “hi, mommy” and “peek a boo”! You can just see the love and life in her eyes. Hugs to your heart.
.-= Claire´s last blog ..Going Home =-.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
So, so beautiful. Pictures, of course, and words too. You make me grin and weep at the same time! Hugs to you.
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..My musical prodigy =-.
I am one of the countless people who, though we never met Maddie, miss her and remember her. This is such a beautiful post. She’s a magical little girl. And you and Mike are wonderful parents. Binky’s a lucky baby, to be waiting to be born into your loving family. (((Hugs))).
Look at that face! So gorgeous. Thank you, as always, for sharing her w/us.
xo from CT,
.-= amanda´s last blog ..the glam factor =-.
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
Oh, Heather, I wish you could see those bright blue eyes peering from around the couch again, too.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Battle of the sexes =-.
I have said it before…she is stunning! I love that beautiful angel face.
God, but she looks so full of life, and happy beyond words!! What a glorious little monkey… I am so heartbroken for you that you can’t play those games anymore…
Love and hugs…
Kristen McD says:
Oh how I wish you still did. What a sweetheart.
Love those huge blue eyes, what a beautiful girl! Fiercely independent and yet still found time for a snuggle what a kid!
.-= charlane´s last blog ..Kids are Spooky =-.
Oh that beautiful, luminous face. To be the focus of that blue-eyed gaze must have been breathtaking. I am thinking of you and Mike and Binky and all of Maddie’s family, especially this week as you mark your amazing daughter’s second birthday. Much love to you all.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..A Mean Moon and a Bullet-list =-.
These photos are beautiful, she’s beautiful, but I know nothing can replace seeing that charming smile and those curious eyes everyday. Love to you this week. I’m keeping my eyes out for cream puffs!
.-= Casey´s last blog ..Not the sharpest scone in the oven =-.
She’s so beautiful – absolutely takes me breath away.
.-= ClassyFabSarah´s last blog ..Sleep is for the Weak =-.
Heather, she’s so beautiful and full of spirit. Love the stories and the photos – they bring a smile to my face, and I hope one to yours as well.
You’ve been on my heart all year, really, but especially this week. I hope you are able to find some happiness celebrating Maddie’s birthday tomorrow with a great big cream puff. I’ll be thinking of you and missing her as well.
All my love.
.-= thebonmama´s last blog ..Just what the doctor ordered =-.
what precious pictures! praying for you!
.-= jen´s last blog ..mind =-.
Alexandra :) says:
Love those pictures of her. Where did she get those beautiful eyes from?
Thank you so much for sharing pictures of your beautiful Madeline.
.-= Diane´s last blog ..The words-in to words-out ratio is FAR TOO LOW =-.
So glad you have all of these pictures ~
.-= darcie´s last blog ..Let them be little… =-.
Those eyes are amazing…..she was beautiful as well as cute.
Those pictures are so precious. They seem to showcase her personality, just as you described it with your words. I wish more than anything you could see those eyes peeking up at you too.
love and hugs.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Birthday Celebrations =-.
What a beautiful, beautiful gift. I hurt so badly for you Heather. I am so, so sorry. I wish I could take just an ounce of your pain away. I love you. Thanks for sharing her with us, she is always on my mind and in my heart.
I believe with my WHOLE Heart & Soul Maddie STILL creeps and crawls to see you and Mike and I truly believe she always will. I know it’s not the same as if she was here and I will always be so sad about that but, Heather please don’t think for one second she isn’t around you b/c honey, I KNOW she is. The love you all share is ever lasting abd because of that…..I know she will always be around.
(((Hugs))) and FRIENDSHIP to you always!!!!
Much, much love this week to you.
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..More Photos! =-.
Love you Heather!! Keep those beautiful blue eyes and that infectious smile close to your heart…we are all joining you.
Shannon Kieta says:
So,So Beautiful! Shannon
She is so lovely. She is your heart. I just so feel so sad this week, Heather. I wish I had uplifting words to share, but I am weighed down with sorrow for you and Mike. When I wake up tomorrow, I promise you that the first words out of my mouth will be “Happy birthday, Madeline Spohr.”
what a gorgeous and sweet girl. We are all fortunate that you have so many beautiful pictures of her to share with the world.
Thinking of you day and night.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..The Question =-.
Such a cutie!
.-= Lindsay´s last blog ..O-H-I-O =-.
Momma Uncensored says:
that photo of her looking to play with you took my breath away. there is an aura about this precious child.
.-= Momma Uncensored´s last blog ..year since the pond =-.
She did have the most beautiful eyes. I am sure that she conitnues to watch over you.
.-= kbreints´s last blog ..a dose of christmas guilt…. =-.
For some reason this post really pulled at me today. I’m sitting here wiping aways tears as I type. I’m so sorry. She is such a beautiful child. I love the pictures! Thanks for sharing
Jack's Mom says:
Thank you for sharing such incredible pictures of your darling Maddie. I always look forward to reading your blog and the pictures you post. You’ve helped me be a better mother.
Me too! Our babies are so blessed by Maddie.
Maddie seems like she had a lot of maturity for such a young age. I always love seeing those big blue eyes and curly blond locks through the computer screen. I can imagine how much you much miss seeing them in person.
She is so beautiful!!
I come here first thing each morning just hoping to see pics of Maddie. She melts my heart. Have you thought of writing a book about Maddie? Those eyes, they are amazing.
I agree that you should write a book about Maddie’s life and impact on the world. I know we would all love to read more about your darling girl!
I cant imagine how hard it must be not look at these pictures and not be able to scoop her up and just love her like you used to. It just breaks my heart. I love her big blue eyes and she has the biggest smile. Yesterdays and todays post both brought tears to my eyes.
Missed by so many.
Another Mama says:
Thinking of you and praying for you and wishing everything was different during this difficult week. Know that your family is loved from around the country and world, wish that it was only for the witty writings of a clever mama and pictures of her gorgeous little girl.
Keep basking in the amazingness of Maddie all day long tomorrow!
Such gorgeous photos! Not only is your Maddie a true beauty, but her clothes are fabulous too! It is obvious this is a cherished baby who is extremely loved…back when these pics were taken, today, tomorrow and always.
Hugs and support to you and your family from across the miles during this especially difficult week,
Michele in Staten Island, NY
.-= Michele´s last blog ..You know this one… =-.
What a beautiful, gregarious little girl. Just…wow.
i can’t even begin to imagine how much you miss her. what an amazing little girl. and an amazing mama. much love to you. xo
cindy w says:
Oh Heather. Love you, mama.
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..the Almost-3’s =-.
What wonderful pictures. Also, I think it’s so important that a child that likes playing alone OR with others– you and Mike are clearly terrific, insightful parents.
I wish, so much, you could see those blue eyes looking back at you again.
.-= J´s last blog ..(Anti)social media =-.
I was thinking the same thing- that only a well-adjusted, well-loved and wonderful baby could be so independent but also so loving and cuddly!
I wish those blue eyes were still here too.
May Maddie love on forever in all of our hearts and memories!
sweet Madeline. My thoughts and heart are with you and Mike. I can’t imagine that it gets any easier as the days go by although I wish it did for you.
Thinking of you today and every day.
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..Halloween =-.
Only a daughter of yours would give wet willies. Love you.
.-= maya´s last blog ..Someone learnt a new trick =-.
thinking of you guys – especially today.
.-= Neena´s last blog ..rainy november days =-.
mitzi magos says:
She will always be the most beautiful Madeline in the world.!!!!!!
Love her! What an amazingly special little girl.
It makes my day when you post Maddies pictures.
Trisha Vargas says:
She is spectacular…thank you for continuing to share her with us!
(((HUGS))) from Florida
Trisha Vargas says:
If you are reading this, I know Tuesday’s and the 7th’s are tremendously hard on you but I know tomorrow, the 11th will probably be the hardest hurdle you have faced yet! I will be lifting you up in prayer tonight and hoping that all of us standing with you will help shoulder some of that pain!
HUGS and LOTS OF LOVE again from Florida
I really wish she was here.
Tears from MN
Michelle Pixie says:
Those eyes are enchanting!!
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..30 MPH =-.
Smart, beautiful Maddie. I love these pictures, Heather. Thanks for showing us her play time.
Love to you, Mike, Maddie, and Binky. Always. xoxo
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Twins: Universal Language for "Awesome" =-.
I look forward to each and every post you make, even if I cry. I love knowing more about Maddie and just being here to listen.
I feel so honored to know your daughter through your memories.
I love your beautiful daughter. The world is a better place becasue she was a part of it.
Hugs and love to you guys tomorrow on Maddie’s birthday- and every other day too.
Marti from Michigan says:
Tears in my eyes yet again. She is an absolute beautiful child.
I believe that Madeline was an angel here on earth and God entrusted her care to you two.
You may not remember this lady, but the late Dale Evans (wife of Roy Rogers – if you can’t remember them, your parents will), lost several babies, one of them a Down syndrome baby at age 2. She has a book out about it, called “Angel Unaware”, that can still be gotten through Amazon.com or one of those online stores. It’s a great book.
Prayers continue from Michigan to the Spohr family and extended families.
Her eyes were so vibrant and beautiful! God Bless
.-= Courtney´s last blog ..I’m around… =-.
Aunt Becky says:
Man, I miss her. I know, it sounds stupid but I do.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Follow Meeeee Tiny Dancer! (et. all) =-.
She is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing those photos and cute captions
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Bad Bad Bully Becky =-.
i already commented earlier today and want to say again that this was another beautiful post about your beautiful daughter….but i just had to add that i just now went to “google” something and thought of your Maddie……Abby Cadabby is hanging out on the “e” of the google logo today! your Maddie comes to my mind so many times throughout the day and i always make sure to send a quick prayer your way when i think of her…….please know that many of us will be praying especially hard tomorrow.
Amy in Oregon says:
Those blue eyes had me from the moment I found your blog…..I haven’t missed a day since, and those blue eyes still have me now and will forever.
Laurie Sue says:
Wonderful post. These photos really show off her beautiful eyes. Thank you, the photos really brightened my morning.
No one knows what it’s like……behind blue eyes.
Oh, those big blue eyes! They had me at…first sight!
How I wish those eyes were peeking up at you too.
Much love to you today and my thoughts will be with you tomorrow!
Jenn in CA
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..Hallelujah!! =-.
Thinking of you and of Maddie. I know tomorrow will be a hard day for you and Mike and I know there’s nothing anyone can do to make it easier, but if it helps, even a little, know that I’m thinking of you and loving your little girl whom I’ve never even met, but who has touched me so deeply.
And what beautiful eyes they are. The sweetest angel in heaven.
Jessica Harrison says:
It’s been a while since I’ve read your blog, but I just went back and got caught up! I am still so sorry for your loss. I just can’t even imagine what your family is going thru. I just wanted to say, I think of you guys often and still pray for you nightly. Can’t wait to meet little Binky. Best of luck to you guys! And thank you for sharing your story. You have touched so many people, me included.
Thinking of you this week!
It is amazing how aparent it is in pictures how much the three of you ADORED each other. I love to see how your lives did not completely change when Maddie was born, but instead you fir her right in, and made her a part of everything you love doing! She really was an amazing girl, and has AMAZING parents.
Amazing, beautiful special angel!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Thinking Back =-.
Simply gorgeous, Heather!
Wow, is she beautiful.
Hugs and well wishes to you and your family.
Sara Joy says:
Such beautiful pictures, such a beautiful girl. So I wonder where her personality came from….neither you nor Mike are independent or opinionated at all. Are you???
Sending you love, hugs and prayers this week.
.-= Sara Joy´s last blog ..Strange Days at Joelsfolks High =-.
Man, she is a doll!
.-= mythoughtsonthat´s last blog ..I Wish I Knew =-.
I read daily and don’t know what I would do without my Spohr fix.
Madeline was magical. I only know her from the interwebs, but she transcends cyberspace.
It is hard to find the right words to describe your family. Just know I am in awe of you each day I sign on.
Much love to you and yours!
Lindsay from Florida says:
You and your family are constantly on my mind this week (in a loving, non-creepy way, I mean). Maddie was radiant beyond compare, and I wish with all my heart she were celebrating two years with the two most wonderful parents tomorrow.
Ah. These photos are simply priceless. You sure did a great job capturing her personality on video and with all the photographs.
Thinking of you guys………
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Capturing the moment =-.
Anne (MN) says:
Heather and Mike,
I too am a daily visitor to your blog. I came across your site while fundraising for March for Babies 2009 in honor of my own little miracle. Sadly, the first day I logged on was the day you lost yours. I read every previous post that I could and have been in love with your family since. I’ve cried with you and for you. I’ve rejoiced with you. I feel like I know you, yet from my small town in Northern Minnesota, feel so far away. I think of you all multiple times a day. I pray for Binky.
Tomorrow, I will eat a Cream Puff in memory of your Maddie.
Peace to you.
Those beautiful, beautiful blue eyes! And that adorable-tiny-red piano (I love it).
Such a gorgeous girl. So radiant, and she’s left an imprint on so many hearts.
Wish so much you could see her peek from under that couch cushion again.
Thinking of you and sending big hugs!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..The boy at the salon… =-.
Debi Powell says:
As I was looking at Maddies pictures, I was thinking you must be so glad you took millions of pictures of that sweet face! Your photos are so awesome of her, and really show us who she was. I know you long to smell her and touch her again…. the pain has to be indescribable. Bless you Heather…
Iknow binky will be almost as adorable as Maddie! I mean really… could there be another little girl as adorable as your Maddie?
I believe she’s always close to you guys, Heather. You just can’t see her. Thinking of you guys. Today and always.
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Christmas is coming! =-.
Sarah M. says:
Little Miss Maddie looks like she had quite the personality! I absolutely love looking at these pictures. Thank you for sharing them!
She had such beautiful eyes ….
(another) karen says:
i think of you all so often. maddie’s a beautiful little girl.
I’ve been a follower of your blog, but have never commented. Mostly because I never can find the right words. I heard this song on the radio today and as I’m driving, crying my eyes out, but thoughts right away went to you. It is from a local band in Minnesota. Please listen to the song and know that I’m sending healing thoughts your way. To hear the song go to http://www.myspace.com/rocketclubmusic and the song is One More Day. Amanda in Minnesota
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..I’m pregnant! =-.
Maggie, dammit says:
Much love to you today. Much, much love.
.-= Maggie, dammit´s last blog ..tickets to the gun show =-.
This is the first post I have ever made but have been a daily reader for some time now. Just wanted you to know your daughter has taught me more about life and what it’s supposed to be than any other human being on this planet…pretty spectacular for a now 2 year old! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADDIE!!! Thank you Heather for your gift to this world!
Wonderful post, I wish I could have known her. She is a beautiful child. Happy Birthday Maddie.
Happy almost birthday to your adorable and sweet Madeline Alice!
Tomorrow I think we should all have a creme puff in honor of your angel!
((hugs and prayers))
Shana in Texas says:
OMG! The eyebrows are awesome!
She is so beautiful, and very animated! Are those leg warmers in the first picture? God Bless, and things will get better as time passes
Wonderful photos, and such brilliant blue eyes & radiance. Great post.
Jennifer (Conversion Diary) says:
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful little girl. Thank you for sharing this touching tribute with us. You guys will be in my prayers.
.-= Jennifer (Conversion Diary)´s last blog ..How your prayers worked =-.
I just stumbled upon this blog from Free Anissa, and wanted to say how beautiful your little girl was. I’m so sorry for your loss. She certainly has the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen, and looked so full of life.