Maddie had a thing for glasses. Both Mike and I have terrible vision. We wear contacts when we leave the house, but at home we both wear glasses. Maddie loved to grab them off our noses. Mike’s frames are now a bit bent, the arms bending too far in the wrong direction.
Meghan’s awesome little man Zach wears glasses. This picture is so Maddie…she’s looking at me like, “Do you SEE that he has glasses?!?!?!”
Not long after that picture was taken…
…she got those glasses. She always got what she wanted.
She’s been gone a month. From April 7 to May 7. Seven is definitely not my lucky number. Not that it ever was. But now I hate it.
I have my pictures. I have my memories. I remember her grabbing my own glasses, and giving me sweet slobbery open-mouth kisses.
I would give anything for just one more kiss.
Noelle says:
That was a beautiful video. I’m so, so sorry for your loss.
Noelle’s last blog post..3 blogs and a book
Kristen says:
Beautiful baby girl…
As usual, I’m at a loss for the right thing to say when it comes to your sweet Maddie. I’m speechless. But, still thinking of you and Mike and sending you both strength to make it through each day.
Lo says:
I’ve been following for a short while now since I found you through matt logelin. I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Maddy’s beautiful eyes will stay with me always. You and your husband are so amazing because of the strength and selflessness you have shown while in the midst of your grief. I know that there is nothing I can say that will comfort you but please know that I am thinking of you and that you are not alone. I will make a contribution to MOD in honor of Maddy.
Lo’s last blog post..
Krystal says:
That was the best set of baby kisses I have ever seen. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Krystal’s last blog post..BMD= Awesome Night With Husband
Krissa says:
Holding you and your family in my thoughts.
Katrina says:
My heart has been heavy since April 9th when I first read your blog and learned of Maddie. My heart hurts for you, for your husband. I have enjoyed watching the videos (I especially love the look she gives the cellphone when she hears her daddy’s voice — so funny! I love hearing her contagious giggle.) and looking at all the gorgeous photos that you’ve taken of her over the past 17 months. And I picture you now, up way too late, posting this latest post, …and I can only imagine how empty your arms feel without Maddie there to hold. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. It’s not fair. I admire you for for “doing good” — helping others during your own darkest moments/days/weeks … that takes strength. You amaze me, really.
And I’ve kissed my 9 month old’s knees about 216 times since your Empty Chairs post. Thank you for reminding me to cherish all the little things. We really never know how long someone will be with us.
One thing I can say is that from all the photos, all the videos, all the smiles and the HUGE smile that Maddie always had…it’s so obvious that Maddie was very happy. She was loved and cherished to the fullest. In her short life she knew nothing but love. You guys played with her all the time, laughed with her, danced with her, played music with her — she had both a mom and a dad who adored her and who loved each other. I hope you know how good of a mom you are. I hope your husband knows that he is the best dad.
I think of your family everyday.
Katrina’s last blog post..Madeline Spohr
Kelly says:
Today was ALWAYS going to be shite… I think every 7th will be for a long while. I would truly give the world to bring back your baby and make things better for you…
Your words are always so powerful, you really have a way of bringing it home for others. So painful, yet so beautiful. You make me want to be a better mother, and already I am… I’m experiencing every moment with my daughter rather than just existing within it. I’m not saying that I was ignorant of her before – indeed I’ve been absolutely smitten since the moment she was conceived, but I’m more aware now. Thanks to you. Thanks to Mike. Thanks to Maddie. I know it doesn’t make today any easier for you.
I’m so, so very sorry…
The video is beautiful – as they all have been. I love the hair pull =) She really is such a sparkling child. Luminous. Like her mommy.
Kelly’s last blog post..Learning about Linux
Bec says:
I can’t believe it’s been a month. It’s just so wrong.
The video is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.
Bec’s last blog post..Welcome to Shit Creek
Maddie says:
Oh God love her blowing her kisses!
Maddie’s last blog post..Love this!
Karen says:
You write from your soul. I feel your sorrow and I can’t help but shed tears. Tears for you. Tears for your loss.
Karen’s last blog post..Not so Wordless Wednesday
Kim says:
God, I wish you could have one more too! She is too sweet. You and Mike are too sweet. It really sucks that you are going through this. Always thinking of you and your amazing and beautiful, Maddie.
catherine lucas says:
heartbreaking…
thank you Heather for sharing the photographs and videoclips with us. They are bitter sweet.
Thinking about you, Mike and Maddie a lot…
catherine lucas’s last blog post..If piggies could fly
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
Hi Heather,
Just wanted to let you know that I’m sending a hug. I love that Mike’s glasses are still bent from Maddie’s curious hands. In a way, I feel bent from knowing Maddie, too. She reminds me, every day, that life is a precious gift. I’m a more grateful person since I’ve been following your story.
Will be thinking of you, especially, on Mother’s Day.
Lynn from For Love or Funny’s last blog post..We don’t talk anymore…
Charlane says:
Thank you for sharing your baby with the world. Her pictures and videos are so so sweet. As always you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Charlane’s last blog post..
Ginger says:
Heather, you are the strongest and bravest mom. Maddie deserved a mom as great as you. I think about you and I write about you and my heard aches for you.
amanda says:
What a sweet video – I loved it so much. My husband and I both wear glasses, and my daughter has broken one pair of his and mine are definitely out of whack right now – and your post reminded me I should stop lamenting the fact that I have to go to LensCrafters again to get them straightened out.
xo from CT,
Amanda
amanda’s last blog post..Beauty for Babies
Joe @ Irrational Dad says:
I love when parents (I’m guilty also) try to sneak in swear words. “It’s all effed up now, I mean messed up.”
I think it’s great that you can Mike are still posting, and letting your iFriends (am I the only one that hates everything being prepended with an “i” nowadays?) remain a part of your lives.
Joe @ Irrational Dad’s last blog post..The Non-Dad Stuff
sky says:
such a precious baby – a fun video. maddie blowing kisses is so cute! i understand how you feel about 7s – but remember she was born in ’07 – so it is not all bad. maybe you can refocus to that aspect of 7 when the 7s arrive each month. i wish there was some word, any set of words, which could ease your pain. i would say them all over and over. i don’t know you but my heart does…i read here frequently to check on you. sending love.
sky’s last blog post..Springtime Hypervigilance
annie says:
each day i check your blog and i drive into work with tears, praying for you the whole way. it’ s so unfair. you are so stong, heather. if nothing else, know that you’ve made it through a whole month. you got up and kept living–for maddie’s sake. thank you for continuing to share maddie with us.
annie’s last blog post..New Emerson Video!
Christine says:
I think of you always. Maddie was such a gift. You guys are amazing.
Christine’s last blog post..The daytime of the night…
Barbara Howard says:
Babies know that glasses are a kind of mask, and they can’t tolerate it. Maddie wouldn’t let you or Mike hide behind glasses…it was her mission to get as far into your hearts as she possibly could. Kudos to you both for allowing her in. Your parenting was wonderful, in part because you gave in to it so deeply. I’m sorry there’ll be no more kisses for you, but glad you had and gave so many of them while she was with you. She was a precious little girl!
Candice says:
I can relate to this video for sure. My son just got glasses for the first time yesterday. He’s 14 months. He also gives kisses, always open-mouthed and slobbery. I’ll take them how I can get them.
Still praying for you every night…
Candice’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Grandma!
Jill says:
Oh, big open mouthed baby kisses! The only time you don’t mind being slobbered on when you’re being kisssed. What a beautiful, tenacious little girl! (she would have taken a chunk of you hair out to get those glasses, wouldn’t she?)
Nicole says:
What a sweet set of smooches. My heart hurts for you. I, like yesterday and the day before, will continue to pray for strength for you and Mike.
Love from my little corner of Ohio,
Nicole
Candice says:
I can relate to this video. My son is 14 months and just got glasses for the first time yesterday. He loves to take them off and throw them. He also gives kisses, always open-mouthed and slobbery. I take them any way I can get them!
Still praying for you nightly…
Candice’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Grandma!
Kellie says:
Baby kisses…..nothing like them in the world.
Still thinking of you and Mike.
Kellie’s last blog post..In Which I Do Something I HATE…
Kristen says:
Bot stingy with those kisses, huh? What a lover.
rachel cortest says:
Thinking of you as you try to make sense of this long hard weekend. Even though Maddie is not here with you, you will always be her mommy and you will always have a reason to celebrate Mother’s Day. My son died the day after Mother’s Day and I can say that after almost three years, it is a little easier. I pray that I will dream about him so that I can have some time with him. Wishing you peace, Rachel
Midwest Mommy says:
I love watching Maddie videos. Hugs.
Midwest Mommy’s last blog post..Happy trails to you…
Lisa says:
That video is adorable.
(((hugs)))
Lisa’s last blog post..Beauty for Babies
Jennifer says:
I hate the number 7 now too.
Such a sweet video and such cute open mouth kisses!
Jennifer’s last blog post..More Freakiness
Lindsey in St. Louis says:
What a sweet baby girl. She’s your angel that is watching over you each and every day. You have left a lasting footprint in my heart. Thank you for sharing your days with strangers. May God continue to give you comfort and strength in the days ahead. When I lost my Dad to cancer, I found the journal, “Grieving the loss of a loved one” and it really helped me get through the hard days.
Lindsey in St. Louis’s last blog post..Funny Hair Photos
Suzanne says:
It is fun to watch those videos, but it also hurts to see her so alive, curious and loving, and know that she is no longer physically with you. I really mean it when I say that I ache for you guys.
You did a tremendous job documenting her life and you have both been graceful and generous over this past month. You deserve a lot of credit for reaching out to the internet community and to your “real life” community to keep her memory alive in a positive way. This site is a wonderful living memorial. I just wish there was a way for me to ease your pain.
Ms. Moon says:
She was the most beautiful little love in the world. She fit into your arms as if they and her body had been most cleverly constructed to fit each other perfectly. Oh Heather. Look- I don’t pray. I don’t have religion. It doesn’t work for me. But I light candles. And I am lighting one right now for you and Mike and that perfect little girl.
Ms. Moon’s last blog post..What Makes Us Feel Rich
Stefanie says:
Love you!
Stefanie’s last blog post..Lust
Christy says:
The look on her face in the first picture is so telling–you can see the wheels turning in her head about the glasses her little friend is wearing! Adorable…open mouthed, slobbery baby kisses are the best…I wish you could have one more too. No, lots more. Hugs to you.
Christy’s last blog post..Just Another College Co-Ed
kristen says:
you and mike created one smart, observant, and joyous child…magical. i wish so badly that things were different. i know my words are just words, but i’m sending lots of love you to all each and every day.
Danes says:
SUCK IT SEVEN! I love youuuuu.
Molly says:
You are SUCH a good mom! So patient and loving. Maddie was lucky.
Michele says:
I check in with your blog every morning and also think about, as someone noted above, how you were up late last night posting. One month later and I don’t know how you have been able to do so much in this last month while bearing the worst pain you will ever face. I am amazed by your strength and willingness to do good (Beauty for Babies, Jackie!’s walk) and I think of you, Maddie, Mike and Rigby daily – especially yesterday. Your photos and videos are wonderful, Madeline’s light shines through every one! Thank you for continuing to share your beautiful family with us.
Thinking of you, Michele in Staten Island, NY
Cindy Woodmansee says:
Oh how sweet she is. Maddie had more love than a lot of people have in a life time. I’ll be thinking of you on Sunday. This is just wrong.
Jamie says:
I have a glasses grabber too. She wrecked two pairs of mine and one of my husbands before we gave up and went to titanium frames. Mitch Albom wrote in one of his books that our children are like glass that we mar with fingerprints and break. I didn’t really agree with the breaking part, but I think we’re like glass to our children too; they cover us with their fingerprints and change us forever. (I don’t really get into the whole breaking our children thing. I don’t like that analogy even if I do like Mitch Albom).
Thinking about you and Mike. And Maddie too.
Jamie’s last blog post..The One Where I Turn Into Jack Spratt
Lady Lemon says:
This video was so sweet. Thanks you for sharing it.
I am just SO sorry for what you have been through. I hope you are able to find at least a few moments of comfort and peace this weekend. I’ll be thinking about you and Maddie, as always.
Lady Lemon’s last blog post..Journey to "God" – Part 2
Amy says:
Those kisses are so sweet. Hard to believe a month has gone by and I am just a bystander… I can not even fathom what this month has felt like for you and Mike. Much love being sent your way…
I will be thinking of you on Sunday… sending some extra healing thoughts your way.
stephanie says:
That is a beautiful video. You are am amazing Mom and it is obvious how much you love your sweet Madeline. Thank you for sharing her with me.
Christina says:
Love this video. I wish you could have had one more kiss.
Shauna says:
She’s just so beautiful. I can’t believe it has been a month. I’ll be thinking of you on Sunday. And hating the number 7 right along with you.
Shauna’s last blog post..Good Luck Daddy!
Susan says:
We can’t feel what your feeling but know others hearts hurt for you. Simply precious video, simply precious. {{hugs}}
Andrea says:
Thank you for sharing the pictures and video. What a great video!! I love the look on her face in the first picture. I am in tears now as I type this. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. We are praying for you both.
Andrea’s last blog post..End of an Era
Mer says:
I don’t know what more to say other than I am still so very sorry. We’ve never met, we don’t know each other at all, and yet, I think of your beautiful daughter and the unfathomable magnitude of her absence all the time.
Kerri says:
I have just started reading your blog a week ago or so. I had learned of Maddy through another blog that I read. The biggest mistake I have made is reading while I am at work. I can’t keep the tears from coming. I have to take breaks from reading when it gets to be too much.
I know you’ve heard it many many times, but Maddy is a beautiful baby, inside and out. And I say is instead of was because there shouldn’t be a was where a baby is concerned. I am a sucker for blue eyes and hers hypnotized me. I loved watching the videos of her. She seemed like such a silly little girl, a tiny little ball of fire. My heart goes out to you and your family. I can’t even imagine what you are going through and I wouldn’t pretend that I did. You are a strong woman. Good luck to you and your family to find peace in the wake of this tragedy.
Tami says:
I am sooo sorry! I hate that you both are dealing with losing Maddie. It just isnt fair and I wish I could change it for you. My heart breaks for you. I cant watch the video’s any more , its like she is still here and she isnt. I cry and get mad.. Just know that I am so sorry and I think of you both daily, and I still shead tears for your sweet Maddie.
Hugs,
Libby says:
Oh man….that video is beautiful. Just hugs and tears for you from afar. What a hellish month this must have been. I’m thinking of you constantly, hoping you find moments of peace on occasion.
Alexandra says:
There’s nothing I can say to you right now, absolutely nothing. That short clip right there, if you watch it, we feel your loss, and you feel it times a zillion. Wow. How you survive, I just don’t know.
I love watching Maddie, though, I never will grow tired of that beautiful angel.
Maggie says:
Your baby has the most expressive and beautiful face. Her smile is priceless. And, as you said, her eyes show a wisdom beyond her years. What a wonderful gift she is, and she’ll be with you always.
May God bless you and Mike, Heather, and may He make you strong and give you courage to live each day with Maddie’s grace.
AMomTwoBoys says:
Zach is sitting here with me. He shrieked and pointed at his girlfriend when he saw her picture.
I love you.
AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..Beauty for Babies – The Launch
Erin says:
My heart breaks for you. Your little girl’s impact is far-reaching: I think of her, and you, every day, although I’ve never met you. You convey her spirit so beautifully here.
Erin’s last blog post..Has anyone seen my batteries?
Miss Tachae says:
I cannot even begin to understand this feeling, I have lost many people in my life, but never have I felt so much for someone Ive never met.
I would give anything to bring her back to you.
Miss Tachae’s last blog post..Grateful
Amy says:
Such a beautiful video. I can only imagine how difficult this day is for you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.
Amy’s last blog post..A Picture a Day
Jodee says:
She is so beautiful. She is blowing you kisses from heaven…. ((hug)) and lots of love.
Jodee’s last blog post..50 YEARS
Maggie says:
Heather, I’d like to post a poem. I usually not overly fond of over-the-top schmaltz, but this poem really touched my heart when I lost my family.
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go
you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
*******
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful, you are my world, my true)
and you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing, it is you
*******
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or the mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
*******
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
Written by ee cummings – And offered with love and compassion for you and Mike.
Michelle W says:
Sometimes it doesn’t even seem possible, I look at her, hear her, and watch you two together and it just doesn’t seem possible that such a joyful and bright little one could be gone so soon. I know the reality of it is all around you, but somehow while my heart feels the loss, my head just can’t quite get around it.
sam {temptingmama} says:
I remember laughing at that video so hard the first time I saw it. You said effed to your baby!
Now, it’s not so funny… but still heart stoppingly precious.
(is stoppingly a word? meh. it is now.)
I can’t even believe it’s been an entire month already. *sigh*
I love you guys!
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..It’s What I Do
Becky says:
Goddamn, the universe sucks sometimes. I’m sorry, lover. I’m so damn sorry. I want her to come back and yell “PSYCH!” I’m so sorry, Heather.
Becky’s last blog post..Too Sexy For My Blog
Heidi in Australia says:
I have been thinking about you all everyday and I cannot believe its been a month. I think about Maddie whenever I see purple for a start, and I think about her bravery and courage that she demonstrated since day one. I had a brain MRI a few weeks ago and while i was in the machine, with my head locked in this crazy cage-like contraption, I started to freak out a little, and instead thought about Maddie, and thought “come on, Maddie battled much scarier things than this, come on, don’t flip out, Maddie wouldn’t flip out, come on, be strong like Maddie” and she was almost this little cheerleader in my ear while I waited for it to be over.
I have now added a nice handy icon on my iPhone that is a quick link to your site so I can check it, and just be reminded of her whenever i look at my phone to check the time, or the weather or whatever….i see her little face and her little name, and its like a little spark of happiness immediately takes over me. When i added the icon for your site it was placed automatically next to my bright purple iTunes icon, and i sort of giggled because, of courrrrse she was always going to go next to the big purple box with the giant music note on it. Next time you see an iPhone ask to see the iTunes logo and then you will smile too.
I check your blog everyday, usually multiple times, hoping that with our time difference I catch the latest post…
Thanks again for sharing your heart with us all. You all provide so much perspective and encouragement to my life…..thank you for sharing Maddie.
Cat says:
So beautiful, thank you for sharing with us.
Cindy says:
I’m so sorry, Heather.
I just don’t know how to wrap my head around a universe that would give you something so beautiful and perfect and then take it away. But I know what I want to say to it…..F*CK YOU, UNIVERSE!!!!!!!
My thoughts are with you and Mike….and of course Maddie…..always.
Cindy’s last blog post..BEAUTY FOR BABIES HAS STARTED!!!!!
ms. changes pants while driving says:
thank you for continuing to share her with us. hugs and hugs and hugs.
ms. changes pants while driving’s last blog post..sweet: ocean breathes salty
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas says:
I’m thinking about you, all the time. Thank you for continuing to share with us.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas’s last blog post..I Keep Rocking
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children says:
I wish you could have a million more kisses.
I think of Maddie everyday. Hugs to you.
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children’s last blog post..Cinnamon Life Battle
Casey says:
I sit here looking at a blinking cursor, wondering what to write, what to say, how to let you know that…that…well, I’m not sure how to finish that sentence. She is so beautiful, and as someone has already said, those are the best kisses ever recorded. But watching them is no match for receiving them. I am thinking of you and hoping, as Mike wrote in a recent post, that you both dream of her soon. With lots of kisses.
Casey’s last blog post..For Maddie
Suzannah says:
Nothing I can say to make it better, but just know there are so many people in this world who are sending you all their love and support, every day.
Elizabeth says:
Thank you so much for sharing this, hard as it must have been. Sending you big virtual hugs (but no slobbery kisses, that would be weird
Loukia says:
I am very sorry. Believe me when not a day goes by that I don’t think about your loss. I know you know what a shining star your daugther was and that you two will be reunited again one day. You’re a pillar of strength. Hold on tight to those memories. They are yours forever and ever more. God bless you guys.
Loukia’s last blog post..7 things about me!
Sarah says:
Your daughter Maddie was so adorable. You must miss her terribly. I haven’t commented before, but I come here everyday to see what new pictures you’ve posted of her (and videos) because I cannot get enough of her. I’m so sorry that she didn’t live a long life, but my goodness she lived a GREAT life .. and you’ve honoured her so well with this website, the photos you dig out to show us, the gorgeous videos. Thankyou for sharing Maddie with us. I’m sure it is painfull for you to see these photographs but also you should know how much we appreciate you sharing your daughter with us all. She was truly a precious gem.
Sarah from Montreal (via Ali’s website)
kgirl says:
I wish you could too. Your story is new to me, but I think about you often.
kgirl’s last blog post..Birthday, Girl
Amber says:
Oh girl. I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you.
Amber’s last blog post..kfc coupon–raincheck
Adventures In Babywearing says:
I can’t believe it’s been a month.
I think about you and Maddie every day. It’s hard not to. I know so many people do.
Steph
Adventures In Babywearing’s last blog post..The Story Of My Stuff
Ana says:
What a beautiful video. What beautiful and delicious kisses. I cannot believe it has been one month. Very difficult to understand how she can possibly be gone. I am so so sorry.
Ginger says:
I just watched the video again – and I am struck once more by Maddie’s beauty and character. You were robbed Heather, a mom to a girl so lovely deserves so much more time with her.
Ginger’s last blog post..I carry it with me and I keep walking
Amy says:
I miss her too.
I just wanted to tell you that I ran a 1/2 marathon on Sunday 5/3. For some reason, I was just not feelin the running stride when I began. I needed motivation to keep me going to the finish line. I thought about how I wasn’t able to walk in the MOD walk that Saturday in Maddie’s honor. I began to think of Maddie, and you, and Mike and how you’ve touched my life in more ways than you’ll ever know. And before I knew it, I was at the finish line with Maddie on my mind and in my heart. I did it for her, I did it for you. And it was a TRUE honor.
Amy
Oregon
Katie in WI says:
I have so much I want to say to you.
There’s nothing I can say. Nothing to make anything right or better.
I am so grateful the way you share Maddie with us.
Lisa! says:
My heart is breaking for you. Each post I read creates a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.
My thoughts go out to you..I too wish there was something I could say or do but I know that’s impossible.
Jolene says:
Like always, I’m lost for words once again. You are such a strong woman! I’m sure Maddie is looking down upon you and is so proud of you. My thoughts are with you and I can tell just by reading your blogs that Maddie came from a very loving family. I’m glad that you share Maddie with us all.
Rachel says:
What a sweetie! I know you miss her, I can’t believe it has already been a month since she passed. I will be thinking of you today.
Rachel’s last blog post..Pictures
Lane says:
((hugs))
Missing Maddie as much today as I did one month ago. Love to you and Mike.
Lane Miller
Trish says:
She really does look indignant about the glasses. Such a beautiful little sweetheart. I wish she was still there, physically with you, giving you kisses. I wish things were different.
Thank you for posting the pictures and the video.
Trish’s last blog post..It’s all fun and games until the dinosaur tackles you and rips out your throat
Scott says:
What a cute video.
Jen R says:
I know that even if I knew you, there is nothing I could say to ease your pain. I wish I even had something unique to say. I don’t, but I will add my voice to the chorus of people whose hearts are breaking for you.
I had not even known of your blog until maybe about a week ago. But now, after going through the archives, learning your story, seeing what a beautiful child Madeline was, seeing how much you loved and cared for her, everything you went through…well, I’m just haunted.
I now check in daily, to see how you’re holding up. We’ve never met, but I’m one more person who thinks about your family every single day. Thank you for posting the wonderful videos and photos. Maddie really had “sparkle!” And I think you’re amazing.
Maria says:
Thinking of you.
Jackie says:
Stealing glasses and slobbery kisses where only the beginning of Maddie’s talents and cuteness. But, dang they were cute. She was good at stuff.
Love you all so much.
cindy w says:
That video is so sweet. Thanks for sharing it. Big hugs to you & Mike.
cindy w’s last blog post..Potty Training 101
Glenda says:
thanks for sharing. you are in my thoughts are prayers! XO
Ali says:
Thinking of you today on the 7th. I have a feeling that in the years to come, I will pause on the 7th and reflect on the life of your beautiful baby girl. Thanks for sharing her with me.
Susan says:
Thinking of you today and always.
Susan’s last blog post..Super Top Secret Mother’s Day Jam
Kelly says:
Oh Heather I think of Maddie every day and am reminded to be grateful, present, and happy just like your beautiful daughter. She had such a big life and presence for one so tiny and new. I hope you and Mike and all of Maddie’s special people are finding some comfort. You have have embodied Grace in this terrible time.
Kelly’s last blog post..Beautiful Child
Lora says:
Heather, again, I am just so sorry. I think of you and Mike and Maddie so many times throughout each day. It just stops me in my tracks every time I think of what you’re going through. I wish it wasn’t so.
Lora’s last blog post..I Used To Be A Sleep Deprivation Newbie
Lori says:
I know where Maddie got her strength and her spirit. It came from you and her father. It’s obvious in every post, every video, and every picture.
Thank you for sharing her life before and now. You, Maddie, and Mike have touched more people and more lives than you’ll ever know. You’ve made me a better parent and a better person. I can’t thank you enough for that.
I don’t know how you do it. You’re in my thoughts and prayers every day. Please know that you all will never be forgotten. Hugs and love to you both, and to Maddie.
MomToG says:
Heather – This is my first comment. I found your blog from Matt and Maddie’s and I have just finished reading ALL of your entries. I am so glad you took all the pics and videos of your darling baby girl. You ARE a wonderful momma. I think of you, Mike and Maddie every day. I’ve been told I give great hugs, so I am sending one your way tonight. Please share it with Mike, too.
Trish says:
She’s so beautiful. I love the kiss blowing..
Still praying for you guys..
–Trish
Trish’s last blog post..New Toy
Marti from Michigan says:
Only a month………………. prayers continue for you and Mike.
Allison Speicher Pereur says:
Heather I am so sorry for your loss. I have been reading about Maddie and Jackie and sending every positive vibe possible. You are in my thoughts daily. itb, Allison
Mary Ann says:
Maddie is a lucky girl to have such a wonderful mother as you. Her smile shows just how much she was loved and how much she loved you. Thinking of you as the weekend approaches and wishing you peace this Mother’s Day.
Mary Ann’s last blog post..
Tina says:
Adorable. Absolutely adorable Maddie. Wishing you strength thru this weekend.
Donna Stepp says:
I’ve left a comment on your blog once before and its almost the same as this comment…I lost my mom a few years ago and am dreading this weekend, kinda feeling down but Everytime I come to your blog and see a different picture of Maddie,(or even the same picture) it brings joy to my heart. I know this may sound weird but I can almost feel the joy from her smile…It brightens my day…Awesome
bonnie says:
you are such a good mama and it’s so unfair that this happened to maddie, you, your family. i am not religious at all, but firmly believe in thermodynamics, even moreso after this. look at all the energy around you- everyone is crying. this is all from your little girl. she’ll always be with us, but instead of you holding her in your arms, thousands of us have her in our hearts. she was absolutely amazing. i’ve never known anyone who has brought out more good in so many people than your little lady. most people live a lifetime and don’t accomplish that.
there is a lot of love coming to you over there from me over here. xoxoxo.
bonnie’s last blog post..
Gina says:
You don’t know me, another stranger, who follows your blog. Just wanted to say:
That video is beautiful! She is beautiful! Love those sweet baby kisses.
Peace be with you this weekend and always. “Hugs” to you and Mike.
Kim says:
7 weeks today since G died. I join you in the number 7 hate. Actually, I find that every damn number on the calender brings me grief nowadays. The day I took him to the hospital, the days he was there, the day he died, the day we buried him. Dates don’t mean joy anymore. They mean memories and they should have been here for this and it’s been so many days since and blah blah blah…….I can forget about the actual date for a second, but then my damn internal clock reminds me.
Hang in there….maybe one day, there will be a day we will be with our precious loves again, and in the words of FDR – it will be a date that lives in infamy.
Tina Hosko says:
I love your Maddie and I love you too
Therese says:
I read these posts and I feel so helpless, I cry and I get mad at myself because there has got to be something I can do other than cry, if I knew my tears or my the hurt I feel for you would take away just a little of your pain, then that would be one thing.
She is so precious, you have so many wonderful memories.
Therese’s last blog post..HUGE Mother’s Day GiveAway on ‘5 Minutes For MOM’
jessica marie says:
again.
heather, you are my hero.
you are so strong.
that video is precious.
i love your maddie moo and i love you too.
i pray for you everyday.
i think of maddie and you every day.
and i will every day for the rest of my life.
april in NJ says:
Once again…no words Heather… just tears for you. I want you to know that I’ll be thinking of you this weekend… an especially hard weekend I’m sure. Hugs from NJ.
kristen says:
i heard a wonderful speech yesterday and in it the man referenced the phrase “no man is an island”…and i instantly thought of you and mike and your families. your pain is yours and truly unknown to others, but you are not alone….hope for a better day, hope for peace, hope for remembering maddie, hope for her being with your grandmothers as you envisioned, hope for goodness….these hopes are shared for you by the thousands of people you’ve touched and who now love you and your maddie moo.
keeping you and mike and maddie in my heart makes me want to be better.
sending love…
MommyNamedApril says:
i’m glad you’re continuing to honor maddie here. i look forward to her precious smiles and i wish she were back in your arms for some slobbery kisses too. ((hugs))
MommyNamedApril’s last blog post..A Letter to My Mom…
maggie, dammit says:
(Here with you.)
Jill Armentrout says:
I really would like to say something that would help you – I hope your writing is helping. I have two daughters – one was early. She’s almost 2. I was so shocked that you lost Maddie and haven’t gotten her or you out of my head since. I read every day now and am proud that you are keeping up this blog.
We did the March for Babies last weekend and I signed up as a March for Maddie. I had purple balloons but they deflated. Anyway, it was a beautiful day and we raised $400. My daughter has some muscle problems and is still learning to walk, but therapy is helping. I am a journalist and write about her too. I am so lucky to have them – more than I ever realized. I hope so much that you take this support and find some peace.
pillarr1 says:
I love watching videos of Maddie. I miss Maddie so much. I turn on Mighty B and sing the intro song everyday and think of her.
Heidi says:
Just wanted to let you know that we Marched for Maddie today in Albuquerque, NM.
Thinking of you.
Heidi’s last blog post..The Cracker ’09 Recap
Palabuzz says:
I’m sorry to hear that!
Like you I have a lost a love one just last Monday and I know how terrible it is to lost them. My brother died of kidney failure and we have watched him while he die. We can’t do anything about it.
Palabuzz’s last blog post..Pacquiao vs Hatton: the aftermath
Nichol says:
So sorry Heather and Mike She is such a doll baby! You are in our thoughts always
Nichol’s last blog post..Two MinoHD Flip Camcorders Giveaway For Mother’s Day
tara says:
she is SO beautiful. i know there is nothing i can say to make it better, but i am thinking of you every single day. so much love to you and mike and your families. **hugs**.
Andrea says:
You and your husband (and family) have never left my heart throughout this past month.
Seriously, I never knew you before this terrible tragedy and I may not stop by as much (I don’t *get* around blogs as much as I’d like) but you are always in my prayers. You have a lot of strength and courage and I love how you are honoring and remembering your precious girl.
Andrea’s last blog post..Then Sings My Soul Saturday: Revelation Song
HeatherPride says:
A month…I can’t believe it. I’m so sorry.
HeatherPride’s last blog post..Finding Center
Coral says:
My heart aches for you and Mike every single day. I cannot imagine how you are coping.
I have to agree with two previous comments. 1) I am SO grateful you are still blogging and sharing the videos and memories and grief-filled moments with us. I love finding that you’ve written a new post. (The tattoo is amazing by the way. I love it.) And 2) The video of Maddie recognizing Daddy’s voice on the phone is one of the funniest things I have EVER seen. I laugh out loud just thinking about it.
Many hugs and much, much love.
Tina says:
Your posts are so beautiful. I have wanted to write for a while now but I usually end up crying and shutting off the computer. My heart aches for you and your family. Please know that the rest of us are humbled by your strength and pray for you daily.
What you deal with everyday I have a hard time just reading about. Your Maddie is such a special little angel now.
God Bless you and keep you strong, and Happy Mother’s Day to one of the most amazing mothers I have ever known of!!!!!
AT says:
Thinking of you on this Mother’s Day weekend. It will be a painful day no doubt, in your dark moments try to quiet yourself and think clearly about what Maddie would say to you if she had the chance to vocalize her love for you and her awe at your unwavering devotion to her. Give yourself that on Mother’s Day. Still give the day meaning between Maddie and you. Give her the chance to tell you….she missed out too. This would make her happy, if you could find some moments on Mother’s Day to share between you and her.
Praying for peace for you and your husband. There’s no understanding this situation.
Porscha Is says:
Your little Maddie is such a precious little girl. I’m so sorry about your loss. I’m thinking of you, especially now on the eve of this Mother’s Day.
Porscha Is’s last blog post..An addition to the Stellan name gallery
Susan says:
Your daughter was very beautiful, sweet and kind. I am glad you had 17 months with her. Your work with the march of dimes will keep her alive forever. Happy Mother’s Day.
Wendy says:
I love you.
And am thinking of you, wishing to hug you through these thousands of miles of cyberspace and tears.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Maddie has touched my life in so many ways and made me want to be a better person.
Midwest Mommy says:
It is 10:43 here and Mother’s Day will be here in 1 hour and 17 minutes and I can’t stop worrying about you and how you are doing. I so wish there was something I could do. I will be thinking of you and your beautiful Maddie all day. (((Hugs)))
Midwest Mommy’s last blog post..Me
Margaret says:
when i lost my maddy June 4, 2000 i did not have the grace you have heather.
Your words, your heart astound me. I love you, and i can’t help but love your girl.
you will make it thru this, I’m so so sorry and mad that you have to. I send a precious wish each moyrning for you, Maddie & your husband. You are a fantastic, brave, couragous mom – how you pushed for the best care for Maddie, and now how you will immortalize her with all you support of the March of Dimes.
Heather… there are not many woman like you. Some of us just stay crumbled, you have all my admiration.
Maddie is so lucky to have you & Mike. I weep, I’m so sorry.
Peace to your heart.
laura says:
you will kiss her again.
laura’s last blog post..Mother’s Day
dysfunctional mom says:
There are lots of us out here who would do anything to help you get that one more kiss.
xoxo
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..Weekend Wrap-Up 5.11.09
angeline says:
My heart aches for you! But seeing this video shows the love you have for your daughter and how much she loved you! Always remember those moments!