Dr. Looove emailed me this morning and told me to bring Annabel into her office (she’s cool like that). Annie’s demeanor had changed overnight, she was hotter and listless and definitely not herself. An exam revealed a fever, red ears and restricted breathing, so Dr. Looove ordered a breathing treatment and chest x-rays.

The nurse came into the room with a nebulizer and a pulse oximeter. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting the pulse ox. While she struggled to put the meter on my sick, wiggly baby, I was transported back to the last time I’d been in that office with Maddie.

The pulse ox (which measures how much oxygen is in the bloodstream) showed that Annie had a number in the 80s. The breathing treatment didn’t much improve things, nor did the weird positions we had to pin her in for her x-rays. At one point her pulse ox spiked to 96, but then it quickly fell back down into the 80s.

After the nurses tried several times to get a better pulse ox reading, Dr. Looove called them off. We went home with an antibiotic, a breathing treatment, and an appointment for a follow-up 24 hours later. So, we still don’t know what is up other than we have a very sick little girl on our hands.

The entire time we were in Dr. Looove’s office, I felt sick to my stomach. I knew Annie would be OK. I just couldn’t stop thinking about being there with Maddie. Both girls were lethargic, crying, and wiggly. Both had low oxygenation that a breathing treatment didn’t improve. Just writing this post has my heart racing and my head pounding. I’m doing a horrible job of describing this.

When we got home, I held Annie while she slept fitfully. I cried and cried. I got to take my Annie home. Why not my Maddie, too?