After Maddie was born, I did NOT understand how anyone could love more than one kid. I was certain that I could never love another kid as much as I loved Maddie, so how could all these other people claim to love each of their kids the same? I obviously learned that it’s possible and awesome.
My parents were very careful about making sure my brother and I knew that they loved us equally. Being twins, we were very conscious of how we were treated. We wouldn’t stand for one of us getting treated better than the other.
Of course, because we were kids, we CONSTANTLY thought the other was getting special treatment. “You love him/her more!” was said a LOT. We’d get mad at each other simply because we were SURE the other twin was everyone’s favorite and it was totally unfair. We were totally irrational with our raging anger – we blamed each other.
I try really hard to treat my kids the same. Every day, Annie becomes more alert and aware, and it’s almost impossible to sneak anything past her. Which is both awesome and awful when I’m trying to sneak some dessert in the kitchen!
She notices everything I do. I will sometimes kiss my fingers and press them against a photo I have of Maddie. I realized Annie had seen me do this when she stopped me and said, “Maddie kiss?” Right now Annie doesn’t understand that I kiss a photo of Maddie because it’s all I have – she just sees me kissing something that isn’t her. So now when Annie is around, I kiss a photo of Annie after I kiss a photo of Maddie. Someday she’ll understand…right?
It’s hard…I’m still the mother to two kids, but I don’t want Annie resenting Maddie because she saw me doing something only for her simply because it’s my only option. I know Annie will probably resent Maddie at some point anyway – that’s just how siblings are – but I want to do my best to keep it to a minimum. How do parents of multiple kids balance the fairness? I’m constantly worried about it.
You Are The One made it to number 4 on the Amazon Singer-Songwriters chart yesterday!
Don’t forget to buy the song to support Friends of Maddie!