So my drive to San Francisco. That is something I never want to do again. Except that I have to do it again in a few days. I am so tempted to abandon my car here and fly back to LA.

The drive started out great. A lot of you suggested I download an audio book, so I did (I went with Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me, super funny). I had my No Kid Music playlist prepped, and I even attached a remote to my camera and set it on a tripod on the front seat. I got a new tank of gas and a jumbo bag of Cinnamon Bears. I was ready.

ready to go

The first hour of the drive was great. Mindy was telling me hilarious stories, and I was making good time. I was anxious to get to a certain part of the 101 freeway, where the road turns away from the ocean. I really wanted to stop there and take pictures.


But when I got there, my driving directions app beeped that there was rain ahead. For some reason, I thought the best idea would be to skip the photo shoot and instead drive as fast as I could TOWARD the rain. Like, somehow by driving fast I would avoid it? Except, like I said, I was driving TOWARD the rain, so driving quickly wasn’t going to help me miss the rain – it was going to get me wet sooner. Obviously, this is extremely flawed logic.

As I drove, I was had my eyes open for the dark rain clouds. I could see them, but I could also see blue sky, so I was surprised when it was suddenly raining.


And then, it was suddenly really raining. I told Mindy to shut up, and I gripped the steering wheel. It was the kind of rain that hits so fast that the roads don’t have time to absorb it. Cars around me started hydroplaning and skidding off the road. Then the hard rain stopped, and this weird foggy mist suddenly surrounded me, but since the sun was still somehow shining, the foggy mist was bright white. I couldn’t see more than maybe ten feet in front of the car. It was at this point I decided driving and screaming were not fun. I pulled over onto the shoulder and watched a few more cars skid out. I drove on the shoulder until I reached an exit, and I sat in the parking lot of a McDonald’s until the skies cleared. The most amazing thing about this is that I did not buy an Apple Pie.

The rest of my drive was pretty, even with the occasional downpour:

grey skies
the open road


wine grows on trees
where wine is born

I stopped once to refill my tank, and I bought three coffee drinks with varying levels of caffeine. Right now, more than seven hours after my last sip, I am still jittery. But at least I didn’t fall asleep on the road, right? I can sleep tomorrow…or Friday.

I finally arrived in San Francisco eight hours after I left home. After driving around the neighborhood for 25 minutes, I found parking and was reunited with Jackie!. We promptly got pizzas and gossiped and watched hilarious TV. The crazy rain-soaked drive was forgotten.

I take it back – I would drive back to San Francisco in a second.