As Mike mentioned, I was out of town this last weekend for work. It was one of the coolest assignments ever – I was at a resort complex in Los Cabos, Mexico, and it was my job to give them my impressions from a family vacation perspective. I also filmed some promotional videos for them. Despite growing up in Los Angeles I have only been to Mexico once previously, on a cruise ten years ago, so I didn’t know what to expect. It was beautiful there, and when I wasn’t in meetings or filming I did have to work in my office:
But you don’t care about the work. You want to know the highlights of my trip.
~ I tricked the United States and Mexican governments into believing I am still Heather Buchanan. I swear I am going to get that passport updated…someday. The whole trip I was called Señora Buchanan, and it totally threw me for a loop.
~ One of the cool perks was getting to “try out” a spa treatment. Now, I am a simple girl. If I am lucky enough to be gifted with spa gift certificates from Mike, I get a massage. In this case, the hotel chose a service for me. It was a wrap. If you are like me, you have never had a wrap and didn’t realize that meant you were LITERALLY WRAPPED UP IN PLASTIC AND SHEETS. Like an adult in a baby swaddle. It was strange at first, but then my wrap artist Cecilia began rubbing my head and I started to relax and feel warm and secure. “Swaddling really works!” I thought. And then…you guys. I got my period while I was wrapped up like a Heather Burrito. I am like a walking Murphy’s Law, except with menstruation. I didn’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty sure Cecilia noticed. But besides that? OMG the spa was AMAZING. I want to live in it.
~ When looking for souvenirs to bring back for Mike and Annie, I came across a small guitar at a vendor stand. I liked it and asked how much it was. When I was told $25, I hesitated. I’d watched lots of people barter with the vendors and I decided to put on my big girl panties and try it myself, even though I am horrible at it. So I offered him $20. The vendor refused, sensing my fear and uncertainty. I then spent $35 on a doll for Annie. Negotiation. Fail.
~ I actually remembered some of the Spanish I learned over the eight semesters I studied the language. I also learned a lot more French than I realized during the half semester I studied that language, because I constantly said “merci beaucoup” to everyone, like some kind of dummy. I also said the following things in Spanish, with what I meant in parenthesis:
“Why are there bathrooms?” (where is the bathroom)
“You don’t speak Spanish good.” (I don’t speak Spanish well)
“You are a dumb American.” (I am a silly American)
and my personal favorite, “I want to be a dolphin.” (I want to see a dolphin)
~ The pool had a cool whale slide that constantly had a line of at least ten children waiting to ride it.
On the last night, one of my colleagues and I decided to go down the slide. It was a great idea because you see, there are no children in line for the slide at one am. It was fun! Then we got thrown out of the pool by security. Something about it “being closed.” We explained the no children thing, but clearly there was a language barrier because they didn’t see our brilliance.
~ I can survive away from Mike and Annabel for a few days. I cried cried cried when I left, but it was good for all of us. Mike and Annie got to bond, and I got to connect with myself again. And when I came home, I got huge smiles and kisses from all of them – Rigby, too!
But seriously, the resort (The Villa del Palmar) was amazing. We learned about vacation ownership, and it made so much sense that if I wasn’t DETERMINED to get out of debt this year I would have slapped down my credit card. The salesman in me was mentally moving the family to Cabo so I could sell them! I highly highly recommend the Villa Group – I can’t wait to take my family back there!
Here is the video footage I filmed, and it will give you a great feel for the resort.
{ 72 comments… read them below or add one }
I have pix of me going down that very slide. Heh.
Welcome Back Chickadee. Refreshed, wehopes. <3
I would assume that wrap would require being naked? That is so NOT going to happen with me, ever! I would die of embarrassment.
Ms. Anthropy´s last [type] ..Be Still My Heart
I forgot that part! I was wearing paper undergarments that looked just like this:
http://spaintimates.com/catalog/store/comersus_viewItem.asp?idProduct=4&image=2
Oh, no… that’s not happening, either!
Ms. Anthropy´s last [type] ..Be Still My Heart
that looks like SUCH a fun trip! that is NUTS about your passport- i used to fly from LA to Berkeley twice/week and often forgot my driver’s license…but that all changed after 9/11. anyhoo- looks like an amazing time, and wow- that water slide looks incredible- i would have SO been game for going down it at 1am, too!
erika´s last [type] ..Two Years
Oh wow, your business trip sounds like such a fun experience! Well, except the getting-your-period-while-wrapped-in-plastic thing. But other than that mishaps, sounds like it was a good time away. Hard to leave the family, I know. But that just makes coming home that much more special!
Katrina´s last [type] ..The Hard Way to Get to the Pool
FUN! I’m happy that you were able to enjoy yourself a little, yu know what they say about all work and no play…
charlane´s last [type] ..CAKETINI
Wow….lucky you, Heather! How do I get into this line of work??? Do tell.
Love the bit at the end about Daddy bonding and time for yourself….the smiles on your return home must have been the best though.
Have a great day!
Fiona x
Funniest. Holiday. EVER. You are comic (although maybe not Spanish) genius. xx
So do you recommend the resort for a family with an 18 month old?
We need a good recommendation for a family friendly resort!
I’m cracking up at your botched Spanish! That is definitely something I would do.
That sounds like the best. job. ever. Where do I sign up for an interview? So glad you had such a good time! (except for the wrap, how mortifying). I bet you’re all enjoying being back together again now!
Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last [type] ..Sunshine-
I need a new line of work!! I wanna go to Mexico! Actually, I’ve always wished for a job with heavy travel so that I could get out and see things. Especially since I’m single and without children. One can dream right?!?
Glad you had a good trip. Sometimes a weekend away is good for the soul!
AmazingGreis´s last [type] ..It’s official…
Sounds like a fun work assignment! At least you could remember some of the Spanish you learned. I took it for two years and can only remember how to count to ten.
The Suburban Housewife´s last [type] ..Nine Years Ago
Sounds like a great job! How does one get that kind of job?
Kim´s last [type] ..Life Really Is a Beach-
Would you please, please, please make like David Sedaris in Me Talk Pretty One Day and tell us in Spanish how it was that you entered the tail of a whale and came out of its mouth? Please??
Seriously glad you had fun, gladder still you’re back with your loves.
Amanda´s last [type] ..Delicate
There is nothing wrong with wanting to BE a dolphin, Heather. NOTHING. NOTHING!
Donde esta el bano? (where is the bathroom?)
That’s one of the few things I remember from 7th grade Spanish class. That’s much more useful than the only other sentence I remember: Tengo una cita con Anita (I have a date with Anita.)
drlori71´s last [type] ..Dr Lori’s Patient Stories
That Negro Modelo looks good sittin there. Glad you had a good time, except for the whole period thing…that sucks.
What a trip! So glad you got to get away and have some unsupervised fun. The resort looks beautiful. Ahhhh.
(((hugs)))
Deborah´s last [type] ..Business Cards
i cannot believe you got your period during the wrap!!!!!!!!! LOLOL thanks for sharing. that is so something that would happen to me.
Hi Heather! Hey, will you be sharing which resort you went to and what you thought? The timing of this is great because my SIL and I are looking at going to Mexico with our families (6 kids) and we’d love to read a review just like this. Thanks!
Sounds like you had a interesting trip!! Love the wrap story, sounds like something that would happen to me. Well except for the fact I wouldn’t ever get a wrap
Nicole´s last [type] ..Back in the Day
wow… I wish my job would send me off to exotic places!
I am CRACKING up about the wrapping story! And that disposible bikini, who knew such things existed?
I’m impressed with the spanish you remembered (even though it was wrong) THe only sentence I remember is “el perro orinó en el piso” (the dog peed on the floor.) Yeah… don’t think THAT will get me very far!!!
Dawn´s last [type] ..Its all in the delivery Post-it Note Tuesday
Your job sounds way more fun than teaching middle school kids…haha! I think I went to school for the wrong thing
)
Lindsay´s last [type] ..Pictures of My ChickenserI Mean Children
Wow, what an awesome work trip
I’ve never had a wrap done but they scare me.
Glad you had a good time away.
Lisa´s last [type] ..Community
What on earth is with you getting your period at the most inconvenient times? Maybe you need to burn some sage up in your uterus to get rid of the bad juju in there.
I’ve never been to Mexico either. Sounds lovely.
Wow I want your job! Where can I sign up??
How great that you got away like that…it was probably much needed even though it was hard to leave Mike and Annie!
Java´s last [type] ..Meet Me on Monday-
Thanks for this. I have to go away from my kids for 6 days soon, and I’m freaking out. This helped. Take care!
I agree with everyone else, I want your job! Glad you had fun and welcome back.
What a fun working vacation. I need to get into whatever line of work you are in if you get to go on business trips like that!
Aimee´s last [type] ..Scentsy Special
Sounds like a terrific trip! Speaking of dolphins, someone just sent me this link – wimp.com/dolphin bubbles that I thought you would like.
After seeing your pics, I am forever going to look down on pools that don’t have shark slides.
They should be mandatory, if you ask me.
freckleonthenose´s last [type] ..Beach – Expanded Version
i’ve been to that resort! how fun! i was “one of those kids” when i was there — with the water slide that is!
“I want to be a dolphin”…classic. Can always count on your embarrassment for a good laugh, lol.
Wow! I so want your job. That sounds amazing!
Fun little assignment and what a beautiful view from your office.
I bet you were glad to be home though!
(((HUGS))) from Florida
You had me snorting with laughter…. You speak spanish oh so well!!
Glad you had a nice time…
Janet´s last [type] ..guests
Sounds like an INCREDIBLE trip. And a GREAT job you must have.
Jen´s last [type] ..virtual reality- vancouver
Your spa treatment turned you into a giant tampon. Did you tell them that in your feedback?
Sounds so relaxing and fun.
Bobbi Janay´s last [type] ..What if it isnt enough
The most exotic trip I had for business back when I did PR was a plastics factory in McAlester, OK, — the place where Tom Joad is released from prison at the start of “Grapes of Wrath.”
And the only Spanish you really need to know is “Una mas cerveza, por favor.”
always home and uncool´s last [type] ..Pepsi Refresh Proving Me Wrong
Gee, how do you get a job like that! I want to visit resorts and tell them how they can make it better for a family. pick me pick me!
Ok THAT was funny. Good thing you were wrapped up and not just lying there on the massage table. Or worse, the facial treatment room. Walking around in that white robe and everything.
Also, the bump has gone down on the back of my head when your keens crashed into the back of my head when my butt skidded to a stop on the dry slide.
Also? Knees.
Work work work!
Somebody’s gotta do it 
Seriously stinks about Aunt Flo though….you do have the WORST luck.
Heather@Triple Blessing´s last [type] ..Hair Today- Gone Tomorrow
What a lovely trip! So glad you enjoyed it. I suck at haggling too, by the way.
adequatemom´s last [type] ..Movie Review- Sex -amp The City 2
Your french does need some brushing up… But merci beaucoup is always nice… You can never thank a stranger enough.
If you need Mariachi, I have it… grin
catherine Lucas´s last [type] ..A duck tragedy
I want to be a dolphin? Nice friend. Nice.
My Spanish is limited to my Sesame Street knowledge. So if you’d like to ask where the four yellow bathroom is…I’m your go to girl.
Issa´s last [type] ..I just plain don’t want too
Oh and not that it will help you now, but I did see an app that helps you with phrases. I can’t find it, but I saw it on the commercial.
Issa´s last [type] ..I just plain don’t want too
What an awesome time that looks like! And I swear, you have more period horror stories than I do – and you don’t know me, but that’s saying something. Your Spanish faux pas remind me of Peggy Hill on King of the Hill, only hers are way worse. And they usually involve zapatos if I remember correctly. … Now I need to go look for a job like that one!
OMG, when I grow up I want to have a job like yours!!!!!!!!!!!
@Militaryfamof8´s last [type] ..Winner of 30 dllr GC f- pound 4 pound challenge is
Sounds like fun! Except the period part. I live in Guatemala (originally from Canada) and I made SO many blunders while learning the language. I once told a guy I was pregnant when I meant to say I was embarrassed. Ahem.
After nearly a decade, I think I’m mostly safe with Spanish. Time for a new language.
Expat Mom´s last [type] ..They’re Just Full of It-
SWEET! What a cool place to “have” to go to work!
Jen L.´s last [type] ..Countdown to BlogHer10- Packing
The dolphin thing is hilarious! But don’t worry when I was in Guatemala a few years ago with my best friend, I was trying to tell this lady that my best friend “eats like a
dog” (I didn’t know the word for pig) since she was devouring her meal oh so quickly. I ended up saying “she eats dogs” and the lady was APPALLED. I didn’t realize what I had said and just kept nodding and smiling until someone told me. Now that tool awhile to sort out haha
Alison´s last [type] ..73-365
Sounds like a fantastic trip! So glad you were able to reconnect with yourself – that’s so important! They were smart to hire you!
Lisa @ Early Morning Run´s last [type] ..Patience
Sounds awesome (also, hilarious; “you are a dumb American”).
My bartering skills are also lackluster. Vendors can smell a terrible barter-er like bees can smell fear.
I’m glad you had a great time in such a beautiful place.
Laney´s last [type] ..“My employees know I’m tough on them- and I am I
Love your Spanish phrases! My family and I just got back from a vacation in Los Cabos and my husband tried to be cool and ended up with similar phrases.
I’m glad you had a little refresher. It’s hard to do as a mom, but it’s so good for you.
Seriously Heather, you make me laugh out loud. Love your honesty and no holds writing. Thank you for always sharing with us.
Chins L.
You are pretty much the most dolphiny friend I have!
Brittany´s last [type] ..Ink
You know, I’ve always wondered why there are bathrooms. You always know just the right questions to ask.
Looks and sounds like you had fun. I think the wrap idea, however “soothing” would have my hyperventalating. Gah! Closed anything makes me want to wail.
As for Murphey, he’s my stalker, and try as I may to lose him, he creeps up at the worst times. I’m so sorry he’s after you too
Ashley´s last [type] ..From the Soapbox – Sun Safety-
Hahahaha! Sounds like a great getaway despite the mishaps. And that whale slide is killer!
P.S. I want an office like that! Hehe. =P
I’m pretty sure that’s a better period story than Brit getting hers on the plane. I promise I’m not laughing about it.
Jen´s last [type] ..Organizing the Make-Up Drawer
How come it was bright outside at 1:00 a.m.?
LOL! that’s not us, just a picture of the slide!!
LOL, okay.
I didn’t see a line going up the stairs so I assumed that meant it was when you guys were on the slide. I figured that was your friend coming down the slide. I was like “Dang, does it stay light that late in Mexico?” haha
As a Spanish professor, I CRACKED up reading what you said versus what you thought you said. I hear those sentences all the time.
Sounds like a wonderful trip. I LOVE Mexico.
You should be a stand up comic. Your Spanish cracks my $hit up!
Thank you.
I needed a good laugh.
You have a true way with words and I can “hear” you telling the story of your trip.
I can laugh with you because this is SO something that would happen to me!
ahahaha
I saw that picture of the whale slide and it brought me back to my honeymoon 12 years ago. I had to look up the resort and confirm that I had indeed seen that whale before!
Sorry to hear about your Aunt Heather, I lost my own last year from ALS, and it sucks! She was our rock since my mom’s passing 20 years ago. Unfortunately, memories are sometimes all we have left.