I have a friend that lost his father close to ten years ago. My friend had just graduated from college, and he and his dad were driving cross-country with home as their final destination. Their car flipped, and his father didn’t walk through their front door again.
I’ve never talked to him about it. He’s married to one of my best friends now, and she’s told me bits. He’s one of the few people I know that has witnessed the closest person in the world to them pass. He’s seen the alive and the lifeless. I know he’s haunted, just like me, Mike, my parents, my aunt, and my brother. They were all at the hospital with us that night. They all held or kissed Maddie after she passed.
Before Maddie was whisked to the NICU the day she was born, one of the nurses held her toward me and said, “Give Madeline a kiss.” I was numb on the operating table, unable to move, but I puckered my lips and kissed. I got mostly her little knit cap, and a tiny fleck of her warm, pink temple.
Before we left the hospital the night Maddie passed, I gave her so many kisses. We wrapped her in blankets and walked away. Then I ran back and gave her one more kiss on her cool, gray forehead. I gave her her first kiss and her last kiss.
My friend has told his wife that he’s angry he walked away from the car accident without any scars. He wanted visual reminders of that night. I never used to understand. Now I do. After a few years, he got a tattoo in honor of his father. It is his reminder.
I have so many pictures and belongings of Maddie, but I can only carry her stuffed animals and old clothes around with me for so long. I carry her in my heart, but I wanted more. I wanted my reminder.
I look at it, and I think of her. I touch it, and it calms me. I hide it when I want her all to myself.
I am now marked on the inside and the outside.
{ 254 comments }
I think that’s a beautiful way to carry her with you, Heather.
My heart breaks for you each and everytime I read your blog. I cannot imagine the pain you feel as the mother of a 20 month old son. I am so sorry and I wish I could ease your pain. Your little angel is watching over you and you will be with her someday. I have tried so many times to leave you a message but every time I do it just does not seem good enough or worthy of the feelings and sorrow that I feel even though I have never met you. I am so sorry and I hope you can somehow find a tiny bit of happiness even though thats probably the last thing on your mind. Your strength is amazing and your daughter is lucky to have you as her mommy and you are lucky to have her because she will always be with you. You and your family are constantly on my mind and in my prayers.
That’s perfectly beautiful and beautifully perfect!
I also meant to add that I’m sorry for your friend’s loss of his father. I was with my dad when he passed, and those moments are burned into me forever.
And your Maddie kisses paragraph brought me to tears. I’m so, so sorry, Heather. So very sorry.
Nanette’s last blog post..Grand times
Your posts in memory or Maddie are always so beautiful, and each time I look at her face in the March of Dimes box I just can’t get over how unbelievably beautiful she was. Im glad that you are able to have your mark, she has left her mark on so so so many.
Everytime I come here and read I start crying. I don’t know how it is to lose someone that close but I can imagine the pain!
I am so glad you have all the pictures, videos and great memories of her to treasure forever. And I LOVE the tattoo, she will always be a part of you, same with the tattoo!
I keep praying for you and I know God is right there by your side to comfort you!
Much love from Germany!!
Jessi’s last blog post..Show Us Where You Live Friday
You are a wonderful mommy to Maddie. She was a lucky girl to have you and your husband (and her dog, of course). It’s a perfect tattoo.
My chest sinks when I read your posts. But when I saw your tattoo, I was comforted. Maddie is always with you. As a mother of a 13 month old girl with curls, I hold you close to my thoughts. (Vanessa, co-worker of Melissa S.)
Vanessa’s last blog post..Support
It is so perfect in its simplicity… I hope it brings you some comfort in the times ahead
I have re-themed my daughter’s blog in purple in honor of your beautiful Maddie…
Kelly’s last blog post..Tall enough to rest a knee on the window sill
That is beautiful. I love you so much and you and Mike are true inspirations.
perksofbeingme’s last blog post..March for Maddie
that is absolutely beautiful. I hope it brings you comfort when you look at it, and knowing maddie will always be with you.
im so sorry for you friend. very sad.
I think she would love loved it
I was telling my Mom a little about you and Mike and Maddie yesterday and couldn’t stop myself from crying. Same tonight as I read this. Thinking of you both often.
I think this is a beautiful way to keep Maddie on “the outside” just as she’ll be forever in your heart.
Elaina Avalos’s last blog post..A couple of new favorites
It’s beautiful and a wonderful way to keep Maddie with you always.
It’s beautiful and perfect. Just like Maddie.
Jamie’s last blog post..Friday Link Love
Oh Heather….
The “MARK” is perfect, I like the musical, happy notes on it, just like Maddie herself, always HAPPY HAPPY.
I am so sorry for your pain.
I lost my Father 5 yrs ago unexpected, and went into pre-term labor at 29-weeks (my body’s reaction to the shock/sadness doctors said!!) my 2lb 2oz baby girl was born on the same day my father passed away, That was and is the WORST & BEST day of my life.
A friend gave me a card that defines GRIEF as:
sensations of somatic distress ,a feeling of tightness in the throat, choking with shortness of breath, need for sighing, and an empty feeling in the abdomen, lack of muscular power, and an intensive subjective distress described as tension or mental pain. difficulty breathing, auditory or visual hallucinations, appetite problems, and dryness of mouth.
This is also what makes grief so hard to communicate to anyone who hasn’t experienced it.
What a powerful post. I really paused to let it all sink in. Sending care and hugs to you, your family and friends. Your outside ‘mark’ is very touching. ((xx))
How perfectly beautiful.
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..Is That a Light I See? At the End of the Tunnel??
I think it is perfect, just like your little sunshine was. I am thinking for the longest time about getting a tattoo to honor the baby I miscarried a few years ago, but I haven’t yet worked up the guts to actually get it. congratulations!
Andrea’s last blog post..Excuse the Mess…
lovely.
It is a perfect way to have a visual reminder of her with you always. It is lovely.
Charlane’s last blog post..Who is the woman who ate me?
Perfect
I can’t believe how perfectly that will hold your memories of her. It is beautiful, perfect, and so lovely.
That is a beautiful keepsake for the ‘outside.” The musical notes on the M seem uplifting to me…I’m so sorry for your friend. I can’t imagine the inevitable guilt he’d feel for being the one to walk away from such a tragic accident.
When I read your observation that you’d given your Maddie her first and last kiss, I cried. My Mom-in-law and my Grandmother also gave their children their first and last kisses, thanks to Cancer taking a young life too soon.
Thinking of you. Every. Day.
Lynn from For Love or Funny’s last blog post..The Wild, Wild West
That is perfect!!! My brother was four years older than me, and died of a massive heart attack a few years ago. Life has never been the same. He was my best friend and protector. I came across a really cool bird picture that he drew for a tattoo, but never got. I just had it put on my left shoulder, by his son. Its so very special. Your daughter was an angel sent from above, what a great way to honor her!! Keep up the strength!!!
It is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing that your family was there with you.
I think about you and Mike and Maddie every single day. Sending love.
Maria’s last blog post..weekly winners – apr 25 – may 1
My grandmother was my best friend-not many 20 year old say this. From the time I was little, we were “two peas in a pod.” All through grammar school, we remained best friends. When I left for college, we wept in front of her house and I promised I would come home soon. Without avail, I made the trek home to have dinner with her at least once a month. I would call her on my way to classes to see how she was doing. If she had a doctors appointment and couldn’t get anyone to go with her, I would skip class and help her out. September 9th started off as any other day. I had just got out of my first class when I got a call from my dad. He said he would be at my dorm in about 30 minutes. I told him I had class, and he told me to skip it. I immediately knew something was wrong. I am the first person in my family to go to college, and I knew he would not tell me to skip class unless something was wrong. I almost called my “gramie” to see if she knew what was wrong, but it was Tuesday and she usually went to get her hair done. My dad pulled up in front of my dorm, and I saw my youngest brother in the front seat with his head between his hands. My dad came up to me and said “Your grandma, Aunt Gerry, and Harvey were on there way to the Hair place and a 14 wheeler lost control. Jennifer, your grandma is dead.” That was the hardest day of my life. I lost three family members, and my best friend. I hadn’t seen my grandma in a little over a week. We had planned lunch at “our place” for the following weekend. I wish I could have seen her one more time before she died and have been able to tell her she was my world, but I wasn’t. Your blog brings me hope. The lost of a child has to more than the grief I feel. Thank you for sharing your Madeline with me. She was truly a beautiful loving child. Thank you.
I love it Heather. Love it. It’s perfect.
It’s beautiful! A week after my daughter Gabrielle passed away, I got a ladybug tattoo on the inside of my wrist. She was my little Gabi bug.
Becky’s last blog post..Because I’m curious
Beautiful post. Heartbreakingly beautiful.
knoxvillepixie’s last blog post..Walking
It’s beautiful. Is it meant to be a musical note or the letter “M”? It looks like both to me, and it’s funny because from what I’ve read about your daughter, she was always so happy.. like a beautiful song.
Hi — I feel a little silly writing this, but I cannot stay away from your blog. I came here a couple of weeks ago after someone else posted an entry about your loss and I keep coming back to read your updates and your archives. I wanted to say that reading the loss of your little girl has moved me in a way that almost nothing else ever has. I suppose it’s a combination of your writing skills (which are phenomenal, btw) and the power of the internet that allows us around the globe to experience so deeply both the raw pain of a tragedy and the spirited beauty of a little girl most of us never met. The other reason is that you and Mike seem like such wonderful, likable people (well, aside from being USC fans
and your sense of humor reminds me so much of my good friends. It hurts me so much that you, or anyone, should have to go through this. I hope that you and your family can somehow find a way to peace and happiness again.
It’s very lovely.
I just wanted to pop in from my reader and tell you how proud I am of you with this blog. Once you wrote that this blog now serves as a Chronicles to Maddy’s future siblings. You are incredible, really you are. You will help a lot of people in your life.
OHmommy’s last blog post..Expecting a new addition…
Wow that was a beautiful passage. You have done your daughter proud.
My sister just did the same thing. Her husband died suddenly a year ago, and she wanted something, just something to show and prove he was here, without having to say it. She had a tatoo done, a musical note, and now she feels like he is right beside her forever.And she touches it, and feels he is here.
yes, yes, yes.
reading and thinking of you so often.
I started reading your blog…gosh, maybe 6 months or so ago. I clicked on the link from Matt Logelin’s page and was instantly drawn in when I saw the picture’s of your gorgeous baby girl! I wanted to write you something then, but have never been good with words and was never really sure what to say.
Since you lost your precious Maddie my desire to write you and give some sort of comfort has grown, but trying to find something to say in general is hard let alone after such a tragic loss! All I can say is that I have absolutely no idea what you are going through and can not even begin to imagine! I am so very sorry for everything, but at the same time so thankfull that you were blessed with that sweet girl even if the time was short! It just amazes me that she made it through the first few hours/weeks when it seems as though some had already given up on her! She really was your and your husband’s miracle baby, a little fighter indeed!
I think the tattoo is just perfect! Everyone has to find his or her own way to remember someone SO special. While I know Maddie will NEVER be forgotten, it is nice to have something to look at. I have a small tattoo on the back of my neck that is special only to me, only I know who and what it is for and somehow it brings me a little peace. I only wish for you that yours will do the same! I know that it is not your sweet baby, but I hope that when you need a little comfort it will give that to you!
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!
Me again Heather…
I was admiring your tattoo. I have one on my right arm for my son, Nico, who will be 4 on May 16, he still says it ‘s “his” way to mommy’s heart. I love that! I still have yet to get my daughters on me. She is 8 months today. Her name is Gabriella but we call her Abbie. I think it’s a beautiful way to keep them close to your heart and with you at all times. Like I said to you before, Maddie is your special angel now and is with you ALWAYS. You will be together again someday, until then you need to stay strong and focused FOR Maddie. She would not have wanted you to fold. She was a light and happy spirit. She is the brightest star in the sky. And I have been wondering why the night has not been so dark lately! Luv Ya!
Beautiful tattoo and what a perfect reminder of your baby girl.
I think that is beauiful Heather. I cry every time I read your post. My heart just breaks. Maddie would of loved your tatoo.
Hugs,
Beautiful.
Rachel’s last blog post..Career Day
Yes.
Ms. Moon’s last blog post..Death And Titties
And in some small way reading your words are calming. Thank you.
Susan’s last blog post..Monday’s Duck
It’s beautiful.
Natalie’s last blog post..The Challenge
what a lovely tribute and reminder for you.
April’s last blog post..Apparently, It Was On Purpose.
It’s beautiful Heather.
It’s perfect!!
I did the very same thing, I have a large Blue rose on my forearm!!
You can carry them with you always and forever!! and people will comment and you can share if you want or just say thank you i like it too!!
I think of you every day.
So small, so perfect just as Maddie will always be. A beautiful tribute to your daughter Heather!
What a wonderful external reminder of what will always be tattooed on your heart.
I love it.
Your post is beautiful and I think it is wonderful that you did this for yourself. It is a constant physical reminder of your sweet girl. The thought of you going back and giving her one last kiss is amazing to me. To be able to let go, get up enough courage to leave the room where Maddie was all wrapped up her blankets… but then to be able to find the strength to go back for one more kiss. I admire you. But oh how I wish the circumstances were different. Always on my mind…
love love love! so perfect and beautiful.
jen’s last blog post..Randome Tuesday Thoughts
It is beautiful, just like your daughter. My heart aches for you.
luv it. very very nice tribute to maddie.
raino’s last blog post..I know, I suck
It’s beautiful, and perfect, and happy, just like Maddie.
perfect.
just like Maddie.
ali’s last blog post..top 5 PSAs are on the board…
It’s beautiful Heather, just beautiful!
linzandkenzsmommy’s last blog post..Kendal 13 Months
I found your blog through Carla;s blog untanglingknots.
Your daughter is a beautiful, amazing, wonderful, delightful child. I don’t say “was”, because I know that she still IS all of those things, and she always will be with you and your husband. I have watched the videos, looked at the photos, and read your passages. Such a bright light does not simple vanish. I am sure there is no real comfort in what you are having to live through, but you are so brave to share it all with us and you have given us all a wonderful, precious gift by letting us have a glimpse of your truly fantastic Maddie.
The tattoo is perfect.
Lora’s last blog post..Catching Up
Love it, love it. Seeing the color purple and music notes made me smile. I hope it will do the same for you. Hugs from TX!
Alli’s last blog post..Great Weekend, Thanks Jennifer!
Heather that is perfect! You are an amazing mom!
Though, I know you will NEVER forget sweet Maddie, what a beautiful reminder of her.
Amazing Greis’s last blog post..We walked…
Heather,
I seriously want to get a tattoo in honor of my late daughter but so far I have been a sissy. Can you please write to me and tell me honestly…straight up how much it hurts. Don’t filter your words or feelings. I can handle those.
I am the kind who freaks at a mere injection, and Olivia (having tattoos from radiation), never understood why someone would willingly subject themselves to a tattoo. But nonetheless, I want to!
Please share with me.
won’s last blog post..Friday Fragments
Heather -
it’s perfect. Can’t wait to see it in person.
Much love,
Emily
Heather – I love that tribute to her. Sweet – just like her.
xo from CT,
Amanda
amanda’s last blog post..I am lazy so I will let these bloggers do my work for me
I am sure it will be nice to always have a reminder of your sweet, beautiful baby on you… always. I think of you and your family often. My heart aches for you.
That is beautiful Heather. And I like how you said you can hide it when you want her all to yourself – perfect.
pgoodness’s last blog post..Deep thoughts
so delicate and danty and beautiful.
sending you support and healing from IL.
kristin c.’s last blog post..Breathe……….
What a beautiful reminder of your beautiful daughter.
Lisa’s last blog post..Return of the Weight Loss Posts: Weigh-in, Week 14
Perfect.
Good for you! It’s beautiful.
What a sweet, beautiful post in honor of a sweet, beautiful girl.
Jill’s last blog post..A picture’s worth a thousand, ahem, words
congratulations on your ink… it’s beautiful. i have jackson’s name and birthdate tattooed on my right wrist… my pulse.
what a beautiful tribute.
nic @mybottlesup’s last blog post..for maddie… in pictures
I’ve had no idea what to say all this time, other than I’m so, so, so sorry. And sorry just isn’t good enough. No words are good enough. But saying nothing has to be worse than being incomplete. I continue to be so touched by you and your Maddie.
Mama Bub’s last blog post..Overreacting
It’s gorgeous Heather. What a special and amazing thing to have to carry with you. I have two tattoos planned in the next few months – one of my son’s footprints on my back (about where he was in utero) and another of my dog Bailey’s paw print on my hip. He died last year after 15 years of being my constant companion and the all around best. dog. ever.
I love the title of the post too. Marked on the inside and the outside…and never the same again.
Thinking of you and sending you warm thoughts and many hugs.
Melissa’s last blog post..We went. We walked. It rained.
I understand so fully the need to create a constant, physical reminder of your girl. What a beautiful tribute to her.
Oh Heather…I am sitting here crying, feeling so much sorrow for you and Mike and Maddie. Many other comments above capture exactly what it is that I’m trying to say and what I will never be able to convey. My heart is still aching. I am still thinking about you everyday. Your post is a beautiful tribute…I just wish it were different. Everything.
Casey’s last blog post..In honor of TasteSpotting
That’s a beautiful reminder, Heather. Maddie is always with you, but I get that you want to “see” it. I’m glad you found a way.
Trish’s last blog post..It’s all fun and games until the dinosaur tackles you and rips out your throat
Such a beautiful post Heather–there’s something so amazing in that you gave her her first kiss and her last. I think the tattoo is great–a perfect permanent reminder of Maddie.
Jennifer’s last blog post..My New Obsession…
There is nothing in this life like experiencing the death of one we dearly love. While I’ve never witnessed a person’s actual passing, I can imagine that it’s both haunting and utterly mysterious. We cannot know for certain what happens beyond, but I do pray that you have some kind of hope that Maddie lives on in a way more vibrant than we can comprehend. I think your permanent memorial is completely fitting, something that goes with you always, just as Maddie did. May it remind you that she is still with you, even if it’s not in the way you long for. Thank you for sharing such an intimate symbol of honoring your daughter.
Kelley Land’s last blog post..Soaking It In
Also, I know what you mean about “wanting her all to yourself”. When I was pregnant a couple of years ago I told a friend that although I was so ready to give birth and NOT be pregnant anymore, that I knew as soon as I gave birth she would never again be “all mine”. As soon as we have children, they cease to be ours anymore–they are entirely their own, and belong to themselves and the universe. Sometimes I wonder how people can bear to have children, considering how little control we have over what happens to them. I’m blessed to have had a healthy child and still feel an exquisite, excruciating fear about the things that may or may not happen to her. I’m about as chill and mellow as they come about most things, but I am sometimes kept up at night by the thought of how little control we have over most things.
My husband and I are trying to conceive right now, and this baby #2 will almost certainly be the last baby. I’m not yet pregnant (and am not one of those people who love to be pregnant by any means) but already am sort of mourning the fact that in 9 or 10 months (hopefully) I’ll never again have a baby that is 100% mine.
The flip side to that is that once you’re a mom, you’re always a mom–no matter what. You are a fantastic mother and are forever changed by having given birth and nurturing that gorgeous angel for 17 months. Maddie’s passing changes none of that.
I love your tattoo.
I love that you continue to share your journey with the world–even when the journey takes you through something no one should ever have to go through. But you will get through, as millions who have gone before you got through. And you will come out on the other side, changed for the better for having loved Maddie.
Big love from Atlanta–
Kristin
It’s perfect. I’m so glad you found a way to keep her close to you always.
Notesfromthegrove’s last blog post..I’m ready for my close-up…
I love it. The purple, the musical-ness, the M, the tiny-ness, the curly-q’ness (just like Maddie’s hair), the way it’s in a place that you can show or hide, depending on how you feel at the time. It’s absolutely perfect.
cindy w’s last blog post..Raleigh March for Babies
From the first kiss to the last, Maddie was lucky to have you as a mother.
Its almost as perfect her. What a great thing to do, I am glad it comforts you Heather.
Perfect and oh so very beautiful.
Oh it’s a beautiful tribute Heather. My cousin’s father passed away not too long ago and she got a tattoo as well. I think it is a perfectly lovely physical reminder of the person. And yours happens to be just perfect for Ms. M. herself. Much love to you.
Christine’s last blog post..The daytime of the night…
God bless you!
It’s awesome. I love the spot you picked, and it turned out beautifully. Much love to you guys…
Laurie’s last blog post..Priceless Impressions
crocodile tears are rolling down my face.
you ARE such a beautiful momma to that little lady, and you always will be.
jayne’s last blog post..
It’s a beautiful tattoo. It perfectly represents Maddie.
Lora’s last blog post..Nightmare
I can totally identify with the need to have something to show for the pain, even though my pain has not been at the level of yours. When my family was going through a terrible tragedy, in the middle of the chaos and the noise, I went to a quiet tattoo parlor in the middle of the day and had the words “devo farmi le ossa” written in a very light, almost invisible ink on my wrist. It is Italian, and it translates directly to read, “I need to build my bones” but means more, “I need to get strong”. I still rub it when I feel I need it. It has brought me strength and comfort, I hope yours does the same. Still sending you both love.
xoxo
Lindsey’s last blog post..Shit.
What a precious & poignant reminder of a life that was well lived.
A friend of mine lost her parents. After a long period of intense grieving, she finally thought of a way she could do something with her parents belongings that would also be a way to help in her healing.
She took scraps of their clothing and had them made into a quilt. That way she can snuggle up with memories of her parents.
Maybe in time you could do that too.
Stay well, a lot of people are praying you & your family through.
trinity’s last blog post..Irmi Love
Perfect and simple. What an awesome way to remember your Maddie.
I’m once again over come with emotion and cannot even imagine the pain you are going through. Your section about kisses made me lose it. You are an amazing Mom, Heather. Maddie was so incredibly lucky to have you as her very own!
((hugs))
mama2addie’s last blog post..Saturday Morning Waffles
I have witnessed death first hand with two of the three people in my life that I was closest to. It is something I would never wish on anyone, I watched my aunt take her last breath. She was my second mom, she lived with us growing up until I was 5 and she got married. After she moved out I saw her almost daily still, my dad died a few years later on a business trip and I was there when he took his last breath as well. it is unbelievable the scars you have inside, the wounds on the outside are none, but the inside is scarred. It is hard. It is awful. It is something you will never forget. It will always be with you but the ache does lesson. It has been 13 years and 8 years and it still hurts but it is not the raw hurt it was for so long.
I love your mark of Maddie on your arm. it is beautiful like her and a constant visual reminder of her, because other reminders of her is everywhere.
the bossy yankee’s last blog post..NaBloPoMo May…
It is beautiful Heather, I think it is a wonderful way to remember Maddie. (((hugs))) You are in my thoughts.
Amy’s last blog post..Not Me Monday: 5/4/09
How beautiful! I did the same thing after my son passed away. My heart goes out to you!!!! I know your pain, I am so sorry.
Kelley
That’s a beautiful tattoo, Heather, to honor your beautiful girl.
Alison’s last blog post..School is Occasionally Useful
The tattoo is beautiful and perfect. I also gave my son his last kiss. I was with him for 30 minutes after his dad and siblings left him. I carried him in my womb so I wanted to be the last one with him. We never saw him again and after almost three years I have no regrets about it. I see him in my dreams, my mind and in my heart. Maddie will always always be with you. Peace to you and yours, Rachel
Wow, what a powerful post.
Your tattoo is beautiful.
It’s lovely, Heather. Now I’m crying. I love you all.
Fuck.
Becky’s last blog post..Aunt Becky’s Guide To Wifery
It is beautiful! Maddie would of loved it. Big (( hug))) and lots of love and prayers…
Jodee’s last blog post..What an amazing father…
oh heather…it’s beautiful and perfect. i am sitting here at work with tears rolling down my cheeks – i wish i could wrap you in hugs. you are an amazing person and an incredible MOTHER. i think of you, mike and maddie every day.
It’s perfect.
Thinking of you sweets!
Kristabella’s last blog post..Not Enough Hours. Or Packing Tape.
It’s beautiful and so personal. Congratulatons.
that rocks. and so do you…everlasting, just like your bond with your maddie. xxoo
What a beautiful, tangible reminder of Maddie.
Love love love the tatoo. Every time I read your blog tears run down my face and I literally feel physical pain for you. I’m at work and my coworkers look at me – wtf are you doing? Life is SO NOT FAIR. FUCK.
We are doing the March of Dimes this weekend in Austin in honor of Maddie. Her life has touched so many. You are an amazing woman, stay strong for her!
Heather’s last blog post..New ride
I come on here and check your blog constantly and although every single time you have a new post, my eyes are flooded with tears, I rarely comment. I have a hard time finding the words to express how sad, heartbroken and mad I am that your Maddie is gone. It literally hurts my heart to know that you can not kiss that unbelievably georgous little girl again. It breaks my heart to know that such an angel is not among us here on earth… I am amazed the world did not stop spinning when she passed. Everything i say or type just sounds so trite compared to how I actually feel… just know that there is a mom in OC that hurts for you and is crying with you too.
I was never a fan of tattoo’s. I guess because I never saw one that I didn’t think someone would regret someday – that was until I saw yours. It is perfect. It’s beautiful like your baby, and graceful like you.
It’s beautiful, though my heart breaks that you need it. I continue to think of you and Mike and Maddie throughout my days, especially when I see purple.
It’s so beautiful.
What a beautiful way to memoralize your daughter. I so love the design. I think of you and your family constantly.
Lea’s last blog post..Chillin’ With My Homies
Love the tattoo – it is teeny but powerful, like your Ms. Sunshine Girl. I too read your blog daily to see how you are coping ad I am continually amazed and in awe of you and your strength. Thank you for continuing to post through this most terrible time. I continue to say a prayer in Maddie’s name whenever I see purple, and pray that you and your husband and family find some peace in every day.
Take care, Michele
Beautiful! And I love how it’s small and on the inside of your arm, just like your little secret. If Maddie were here, she’d certainly want one too.
Heather-
What a perfect symbol of your dear sweet Maddie. I think of your family and sweet Maddie whenever I see purple. I will now think of you whenever I see music notes and even the letter M. Thank you for posting during this terrible storm in your life. It has helped my family in ways you cannot imagine.
Heidi
I absolutely LOVE it!!! It’s 110% PERFECT. PERFECT. *hugs*
It is simply beautiful and I thank you for sharing it! Your post reminds me so much of my favorite quote by EE Cummings…
“I carry your heart with me, I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart, I am never without it, anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling , I fear No fate ,for you are my fate, my sweet, I want no world ,for beautiful you are my world, my true, and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you. Here is the deepest secret nobody knows, here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud, and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide, and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.”
I lost my Dad a little over a year ago and I was there when he drew his last breathe and I hold tight onto this saying knowing that I carry his heart in mine. I haven’t gone yet to get the tattoo but I know exactly what I want and my brother and I are going to hopefully get them done together.
Michelle Pixie’s last blog post..Contemplation
I love it. I think its perfect and you are amazing.
Just Jiff’s last blog post..Playdate with Aunt Corkiney.
i love it.
It’s beautiful, Heather.
Stefanie’s last blog post..Mama Bear
This is just beautiful!!
H, it’s absolutely perfect… just like Maddie.
I love the location, too. Such a sensitive spot, even though it’s often exposed – the lightest touch on the inner part of my forearm can give me goosebumps!
Love you, girl.
Andrea’s Sweet Life’s last blog post..One Task
Such a beautiful way to carry her with you.
Beautiful
I am sobbing here at work. Thank you for sharing, you are helping me more than you know. Your tattoo is perfect.
It is so incredibly perfect, I am so happy that you got it! I also think about you all day and pray a lot for some peace for you and Mike. I am so unbelievably sorry that you are having to go through this, I wish I could speed up time for you and ease the pain a little. I miss little Maddie so much.
It’s beautiful, Heather. Perfect.
What a beautiful and significant memento of your beautiful daughter.
feefifoto’s last blog post..Has Anybody Missed Me?
It is beautiful. She was beautiful. You are beautiful.
OMG, that is amazing. What a beautiful idea! Like a little reminder that she is ALWAYS with you…. xoxo
Haley-O’s last blog post..The Bottle Stick
This touched me and brought tears to my eyes. There’s so much more I want to say, but I just don’t have the words.
Jen Berger’s last blog post..The Many Faces of Leah
It’s beautiful, just like Maddie.
Kelly’s last blog post..Temporary blossoms
I too wanted a reminder of my son (24wk preemie), he died at 10 1/2 months. I had his name tattooed on my inner wrist. It is amazing how much it has calmed me on some very dark days. I am so happy that it has also worked for you. May it bring you peace on the days you need it and smiles on the days you don’t.
My thoughts are with you.
Kim’s last blog post..Stuff!
Its the perfect way to have your baby girl with you. Inside she fills your heart, outside she soothes your soul.
i have 2 tatoos….both are due to significant moments in my life. i love that i have them and that when people see them, it gives me a chance to talk about the special meaning they have. hopefully, yours will lend many opportunities to share about your wondeful maddie. may you continue to be comforted whenever you look at it.
annie’s last blog post..New Emerson Video!
Heather,
I want you to know that you have given me strength. Each day when I get overwhelmed with my “mommy duties” I think of you and Mike and your loss.
You remind me to be grateful and to think of other people besides myself.
There really are no words to express how sad I feel about Maddie’s loss..please know that you and she have changed my life for the better.
May god continue to give you strength and peace. Your little Maddie will always be with you. xoxo
Nicole
Heather,
I found you via Matt Logelin. Please email me with a mailing address at patriciadolan@comcast.net so I can send you a card that I have set aside along with something that I have written for you. I check your site weekly and my heart is very heavy along with this community about Madeline. What a beautiful, spirit and those E*Y*E*S, she has your eyes.
Please write me when you have a moment. Thank you.
Kindest Regards,
Trish
Patricia Dolan
patriciadolan@comcast.net
that is absolutely beautiful. you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sara’s last blog post..The End is Near….
I’m so very, very sorry for your loss. I know it’s not enough but I can’t seem to say much else. My heart just aches for you and your family. She is SO beautiful!
Katelyn’s last blog post..i ? faces Week 17-Hats Children’s Entry
I love it. Simple and beautiful like Maddie.
Maternal Mirth’s last blog post..Daddy’s Girl
It’s beautiful and perfect. I’m happy you were able to have it done so quickly. Does Mike have one, too?
Heather-
We’ve never met, but I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face. I’m so sorry for your devastating loss. My heart is breaking for you and your family. As a mom, I can’t imagine your grief or desperation, but I can tell you that I am so honored to have had a glimpse into your beautiful Maddie’s life! Thank you for sharing her and for reminding me to always be thankful for the blessings I have in life!
You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Honestly, I’m always scared to read your blog or tweets because it makes me want to burst out in tears EVERY SINGLE TIME. But, I read on. It helps me remember to cherish every moment with my children.
I cannot imagine how it must have felt to give Maddie those last kisses. I imagine it must have been near impossible to stop kissing her…to turn around and walk away. But your tattoo is a beautiful way to keep her with you, inside and out. I would have done the exact same thing.
My prayers are with you and Mike…and sweet Maddie in Heaven.
That’s beautiful, heather.
You don’t know me, but I started following you the week Maddie got sick and my heart breaks for you. You are living out one of my biggest fears in life and I wish there was something I could do for you to comfort you, to make it better, to help. I pray and I think of you and I think of Maddie. And my baby and I wear purple to remind ourselves of her.
I know you hurt and you are grieving. But I am so amazed at your strength. I am amazed that you got up at the March of Dimes and told your story, that you raised all that money in the memory of your daughter and did something so good with it.
Thank you for sharing your story, your life, your memories of your daughter.
My heart just breaks into a million pieces for you. I picture what you write, and I just can’t imagine.
I think your tattoo is a perfect, beautiful tribute to Maddie.
*So* beautiful. I can’t help but imagine how much Maddie would’ve like to see that on your arm.
Sarah’s last blog post..I’ll Believe It When I See It
beautiful way to remember Maddie.
your posts always bring tears to my eyes.
you are probably tired of hearing this, but I am so sorry for your loss. it is SO unfair.
remember moments-krystyn’s last blog post..Giveaway: The Premiere
Beautiful. I am not a fan of tattoos. I’ve always said I will never get one. But this is the first time where I’ve actually thought a tattoo was perfect in every way…and that being in your shoes? There’s no better tribute than this. I would do the same thing. I hope it eases some of the pain heavy in your heart, knowing your beautiful Maddie will always be with you.
Wow! that’s beautiful! What a beautiful way to honor Maddie. I saw my mom pass in 2004 and it will forever live with me. In 2006 I had a tattoo done and my daughter had the same one done too. My daughter designed it. It’s a purple heart w/ green stars as a vine. Purple heart (my mom’s fav color and she will forever live in our heart) and green stars (my daughters fav color and she loves stars) My prayers continue to be with you, Mike and Maddie. XO
It’s beautiful and perfect. My heart is with you.
EDW’s last blog post..Oh, sweet thing, sweet thing
I love it. It’s perfect.
Two of my very good friends recently lost one of their children, and in his memory, the father got a tattoo of his hand and foot prints on his chest, above his heart.
Thank you so much for reminding me what’s REALLY important in life. I’ll be giving my baby an extra hug in memory of Maddie. She is a beautiful spirit.
I love tattoos, especially when they have meaning. And yours means the most it could ever mean to anyone. So beautiful.
My own meaningful tattoo is just an inch up from yours on the wrist. It’s a great place to be able to hide it or show it off whenever you wanted and it’s always there when you look down. Sending love your way.
I think it’s a beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul. For certain, she has left her mark in more ways than one.
Lovely. i continue to pray for you and your husband daily! it will never get easier. but time will help you heel, in some way.
Angeline’s last blog post..Shecky’s Girls Night Out!
What a wonderful way to carry her with you always.
That is amazing !
Very cool. I got one a week after G died, he wanted me to do it before, I just didn’t know what to get. If you’ll scroll down to the bottom of this post you can see what I got and the story behind it……I think he’d like it. I hope he is watching Maddie play in Heaven.
http://www.livefromthe205.com/2009/04/grief-counseling.html
Kim’s last blog post..Sunday isn’t a fun day anymore…
Well poop. The story is not on there. He gave me a picture frame once with our picture in it, and it says “I have you in my heart”. The cross is the same one that I picked out to be on his tombstone , and the green is for the color of his eyes. The artist was also able to put some of G’s ashes in the ink, so he is always with me.
simple yet powerful…..It’s perfect!
It’s perfect, Heather. I’m walking for Maddie on Saturday. I’ll be thinking of you and Mike.
Mermanda’s last blog post..Name Game
I held my father’s head in my hands as he took his last breath. My mom was in the next room changing out of her pajamas to go to the hospital with him. It was just me and him. Few people ever understand that feeling. I don’t talk about it.
I thought about getting a tattoo shortly after. The only reason I didn’t was because my father would have been mortified. Sometimes I regret that I didn’t. Sometimes I know it was the right choice. Sometimes, I just cry.
It’s beautiful, Heather. Just beautiful.
So beautiful. I think you guys are incredible.
Much love to you… xo
So touching. What a beautiful tribute to your sweet girl.
Miss E’s last blog post..A Whole Lotta Love
What a beautiful way to remember your lovely girl.
When I met my husband, I was surprised that he didn’t have any tattoos. His brother had one, alot of his military friends had them, etc. I asked why he never got one. He said that he’d known a woman who had lost a son and the only tattoo on her body was in memory of her sweet boy. He never wanted ink to touch his body unless it was to permanently etch a loved one onto him, because he was worried that other tattoos would diminish the meaning of that one. I thought that was the most beautiful reason and I’ve adopted it myself.
So understandably, this hits home for me. I cannot think of a more lovely way to place Maddie permanently on your skin. It’s just that even though I love the gesture, I am so so sorry that you had to think of a symbol for her at all.
What a beautiful reminder of your baby girl.
Its Beautiful, and its Perfect!!!!
This makes me truly understand tattoos. She’s stamps forever in our hearts and forever on your wrist. I would do the exact same thing. Just so you know, we all miss her too. Thank you for continuing to write. We all need you as much as you need us.
Stefanie’s last blog post..Acceptance
That’s beautiful, Heather. All my love to you and Mike.
I’ve always loved the line from Steele Magnolias that goes something like (Sally Field talking at the cemetery), “I was in the room the day this beautiful person came into the world, and I was in the room the day she left it.”
I’ve always thought there would be some comfort in being present if I *had* to let one of mine go–being the first one to kiss them and the last one, as you said. I really can’t imagine what you are going through. But thank you for sharing it with us.
It’s absolutely perfect.
Beautiful post, beautiful way to make sure Maddie’s memory is visible at all times.
A litttle over a year ago, my brother and I held my dad as he died of cancer at the age of 59, fighting and struggling to live until the very last seconds. Afterward, I held his eyelids closed until they remained that way. I kissed his cool forehead. He had a tatoo, left over from military days, and my brother and I intend to get matching ones. Maybe for Father’s Day.
I know the pain of watching life drain from someone you love, the pain of praying against all hope that there’s going to be some miracle and this won’t happen like you know it is about to. I know the pain of being convinced that this is all a nightmare, that you are bound to wake up and be able to hug, touch, talk to your loved one again.
But as a mother, I can’t even begin to imagine the depth of your grief. If life should offer us one promise, it’s that we’ll never outlive our babies. I think of you and your husband every day, numerous times a day, and I’ll continue sending up prayers for your peace, strength, healing, and hope.
the musical note “M” is the most perfect thing to remember Maddie! I’ve watched all of your videos and I can truly say that Maddie’s laughter was an amazingly musical sound.
My heart still breaks everyday for you.
I think that is a beautiful reminder. And you are right, you can share it or keep it to yourself…depending on your day. And the fact that it is a musical note and an M makes it all the more perfect!
Becky’s last blog post..Hope filled Monday
It’s just beautiful.
I never really “got” tattoos until I saw yours.
Thank you.
It’s beautiful.
Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..I’m not going to know what to do with myself on June 1
Oh Heather. I am wearing purple for you and Maddie today. Your tattoo is beautiful.
That is absolutely stunning.
Steph
It’s beautiful, Heather.
Keep writing. We are listening, and we care.
Lauren’s last blog post..Managing Expectations, Or Not
I don’t know what to say other than just – bless your heart. I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m praying for you and your family. Your tattoo is a great way to remember your beautiful little girl. Bless your heart.
I love that musical Maddie note tatoo! It shows movement and joy. It’s a lovely reminder of your precious baby.
Heather… my heart just breaks and the tears flow so easily every time I check in on your blog. I have never met you or Mike and I feel like I just want to reach out to you and wish I could take away even the smallest amount of your pain. God Bless.
So sweet and tiny and perfect. Just like Maddie!
Heather,
I am one of the thousands who has been touched by your Maddie even though I never had the honor to meet her in person. I have wanted to reply, but never have the words, and I still really don’t. Here’s what I know. I lost my father 6 years ago after living in the hospital with him and abandoning my life at home. My father was my soul mate, and even though he was sick from the effects of rhumatoid arthritis, I never knew he could die. Ultimately he got an infection in the hospital and died. This was the most difficult and heartbreaking time of my life. If it weren’t for people who fed me and told me to keep breathing, I would have chosen to stay in bed and disappear. Few people have someone in their life that they love THAT much, and you had Maddie. It is no shock that this time in your life will be the worst you will endure….but you will. Like Maddie, my dad touched the lives of many as an inspiration (the good country doctor). Unlike you, I was blessed to be his daughter for 36 years, and I can’t imagine losing my child.
Grief is universal if you adored the person who died. So breathe, eat when you can, take a shower and leave the house when you can. Write about Maddie, even if you repeat the same stories 100 times, they are precious to all who were touched by her, and they will help. A friend who knew my relationship with my father suggested grief counseling, which I did. It possibly saved me. It was a safe place to grieve, and someone who had the skills to help me start living again. We will never “get over” our losses, but I have learned to live with this loss as part of my life. I hope you can hear the words of someone who survived. I pray for you and Mike. You are amazing.
Heather, that is a truly beautiful tribute to Maddie. I hope it brings you comfort
It is absolutely beautiful.
Jenna’s last blog post..Mommy Want’s Mother’s Day Flowers!
Beautiful…… just like Maddie! I hope it gives you peace and comfort in the immediate moments ahead and the future days yet to come. You are in my daily thoughts and will always be an inspiration. Best wishes and love sent your way……..
I never thought I would get a tattoo, but I did. On my tummy. It’s the lady bug we had etched on Matthew’s headstone and it is something I have that is tangible to go along with the memories.
I get it. All of it.
HUGS.
Loralee’s last blog post..1 BILLION TWITTER FOLLOWERS!
It’s gorgeous. She’ll ALWAYS be with you. Right there, if you want to hug her wrap your arms around yourself, like you said; if you want her to yourself, hide it from the world. Five years ago my mom passed, then my cousin. I know it’s NOTHING compared to loosing your child, and although I’m still a teen myself, I’ll talk. My aunt still struggles with it but she has her. My aunt decorates my cousins urn, she put her favorite necklaces on. Maybe something your Maddie wore; it may sound ridiculous but that yellow polka dot bikini sounds cute! Let yourself grieve, all your readers are here holding you up.
What a lovely tribute to your daughter and wonderful gift for you. I hope it brings you much comfort.
This is so beautiful, like your maddie!
I’m sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could say to take all your pain away but I know from experience that nothing anyone says helps. I understand your reason for getting the tattoo. I waited before getting mine (just 3 weeks ago) on my ankle in memory of my daughter. I wish I had done it sooner because I now feel like my baby girl is always with me. I haven’t felt that in 21 years. God bless you and your family. You are in my prayers.
Laryssa’s last blog post..Weight Loss Update …
This is absolutely beautiful and perfect. Good for you! I hope each passing day brings you wise ways to honor her and heal your heart.
What a beautiful reminder of Maddie. Reading your words just rips me apart. I literally ache everytime I read your blog. She was such a gorgeous effervescent little girl. I am so profoundly sorry for your loss. As the Mommy of a 15 month old who survived open heart surgery at 5 days old I have placed myself in your shoes, saying goodbye, in my mind’s eye many times. And even though I’ve done that a million times since my 20 week ultrasound when he was diagnosed, I still can’t imagine your pain. You have dealt with Maddie’s passing with such strength and profound grace. It takes a very special person to be able to stand up and so beautifully eulogize their daughter- and then go out and raise tens of thousands of dollars in her honor in just weeks. I hope knowing that so many people are thinking of you and supporting you from afar brings you some sort of comfort. I don’t think I’ve ever had such respect or admiration for someone I’ve never met. You are one hell of a role model Mommy!
The tattoo is beautiful and perfect.
I wish more than anything I had words to give you that would bring you just a small amount of comfort. I am a stranger who thinks of you and of Maddie often every day. I see my own 20 month old curly-headed baby and it makes me think of Maddie. I hug him tighter and mentally send you and your husband a hug.
Please know you all are loved by more people than you know.
I am also one of those people who didn’t “get” tattoos until I saw yours. Now I can see it as a very powerful way to deal with grief. What a beautiful tribute to Maddie.
I also experienced death first hand when I was in the room when my best friend died. For a second in the midst of the mind numbing grief when she passed, it felt like time stood still and heaven and earth intertwined for the briefest of interludes. It felt truly sacred being there and I so glad I was able to be with her when she passed. She died surrounded by people who loved her.
What a beautiful reminder of Maddie. Praying always!
What a perfectly beautiful tribute to your angel girl. I bet Maddie loves it. I’m still just a mom in the Midwest who thinks of you constantly. I still choke up when I read your posts – I still think you are truly remarkable…. I am so sorry you have lost your Maddie.
Heather, I know many people who have done just what you did with a tatoo. It has helped them through the process. They say it is a permanent part of their lives now and will always have the same meaning it was meant to have when they decided to get it. Some have also told me that the pain in getting the tatoo in remembrance of their loved one, someone helped to also ease some more of their pain of loss. I am glad you chose a permanent and meaningful way to remember Maddie. A symbol always has been and will continue to a powerful thing. Day by day, Heather and Mike.
Day by day.
Purple kisses and hugs!
M
What a perfect way to remember Maddie.
Thinking of you, Mike, and your sweet purple-loving princess.
andi’s last blog post..And I held fairies in my hands
Beautiful. Just like your little Maddie. Your family is in my daily thoughts and prayers.
She’ll be forever singing to you. Perfect.
patois’s last blog post..
I found your blog through Matt Logelin’s blog. I have been entranced at seeing all of the beautiful pictures of your precious little girl. What a cutie pie! I have found myself hugging my kids more as a result of realizing how quickly your life changed. I also read another blog that I found through Matt’s blog, and hug my husband more because of it. Jackie got a tattoo in memory of her husband (who also died of a blood clot on the exact same day that Liz died). Your “Mark” post reminded me of Jackie’s post. http://littlechandlerfamily.blogspot.com/2009/04/commemoration.html
Thanks for sharing, it’s beautiful. What a perfect symbol for a perfect daughter. My heart is sending you lots of love.
Heather, It’s beautiful and perfect. Thank you so much for sharing. Always thinking of you all and praying for you.
What a beautiful way to have Maddie even closer to you then she already is! Very special! You should be SO proud of yourself.
I was introduced to your blog and Maddie via Twitter and I dont think that a day has passed that I honestly do not send thoughts/prayers your way. I hope it is helping! Your posts are so overwhelming for me. I (along with MANY others) wish you would not have to go though this. Please know that you and Maddie are in my continued thoughts and prayers.
Delurking to say that your family has touched me. I cannot imagine the pain you are in right now. Your tattoo is so perfect. You can hold it to your lips and hold it to your heart….Maddie will be with you forever….. I am so sorry for your loss.
Stacey T’s last blog post..Siblings…
I echo everyone’s thoughts here. And continue to think of you, Mike, and Maddie.
Manic Mommy’s last blog post..iF THiS iSN’T a TyPiCaL MoNDay!
That is such a beautiful way to hold her close to your heart. You are so amazing Heather…..I am so sorry for your lose and it does question the world. Why was such a beautiful young baby taken so soon? You guys are so strong….my heart goes out to you both and my thoughts are with you.
Every time I see her photos/videos it makes me want to scream and cry. She is just so gorgeous.
From another mum to you…..please know that we are all thinking of you
Lisa
xxxx
We will never forget Maddie
lisa wood’s last blog post..Trading Time
Beautiful and good for you!
Inanna’s last blog post..Pluto In Retrograde
That’s beautiful, Heather. I’m getting my son’s tattoo on Mother’s Day, to honor him. It’s a way for me to remind myself of him, for others to see and know he existed, that he still does in my heart.
I sent you a gift in the mail. Please let me know when/if you receive it.
Funsize’s last blog post..Protected: Shut the Front Door
Oh! So very cool! Peace.
What a perfect remembrance of your beautiful girl.
Dear Heather and Mike,
Greetings from Canada! My name is Jenn and I live in Ontario Canada. I came acrossed your blog the day your sweet Maddie passed away. I so wanted to write then but, I was too upset and then, I lost you in the world of never ending blogs. When I came acrossed it today, my heart stopped and I instantly started to cry. I know you don’t know me but I just wanted you both to know how very sorry I am you lost your baby girl. I fell in love with her while I looked at her pictures and I watched the video’s. How unfair life can be at times. I’m so sorry. It was very apparent what incredible parents are you and how much you love Maddie. I do hope you find some solace and know Maddie is in a beautiful, peaceful place always looking down on you both. Your daughter touched my heart in such a short amount of time. Thank you for sharing her with the world. As one of your, I’m sure many Stranger Friends, I know I am completely grateful! I read in one of you blogs Heather you don’t work. I am currently not working either (I have been on a sick leave since I was diagnosed with a chronic illness over 3 yrs ago). If you are ever bored or just need someone to talk to, or listen – please know you can always e-mail me. I know you don’t me, so this might sound a bit strange but, to one mother (I have 5 babies who are in Heaven and 3 miracle children on Earth), I just wanted to offer. The words your husband and you write are so raw with emotion and profound I wish I could do something…ANYTHING to ease your pain. May God Bless You and Comfort You and Your Family during this most difficult time. My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you. Sincerely, a new Stranger Friend from Canada….Jenn
That is beautiful. I’m so glad you got it.
I have been following ur blog for more than a year now…. I feel as I have lost my own baby. I am so sorry.. sometimes words are not enough to express one’s grief.
May ur sweet angel guide u during difficult times…
ur tatoo is a sweet way of rememberance.
I have been following ur blog for more than a year now…. I feel as I have lost my own baby. I am so sorry.. sometimes words are not enough to express one’s grief.
May ur sweet angel guide u during difficult times…
ur tatoo is a sweet way of rememberance.
Yogi.
It’s perfect. Just like her.
You eloquent and beautiful words have brought me to tears. What a perfect reminder of your perfect Maddie. Many hugs and prayers to your family.
Jen’s last blog post..I’ll Take Some Sanitizer, Canned Goods, Masks And Some Lip Gloss, Please
Beautiful way to carry her with you. =D
melanie’s last blog post..Tuesday Blog Party
I love it. It’s beautiful.
Rumour Miller’s last blog post..Month 11 – Letter to Davilyn
I’ll never forget your description of your last kiss to Maddie, wrapped up in her blankets. Your tattoo is lovely. I hope with all my heart that it helps you to feel close to your baby and brings you a measure of peace.
It’s perfect. Maddie would have loved it, Heather.
Your story about giving her kisses made me cry. I think of you often, and I am so, so sorry. I hope that your tattoo is somehow able to bring her closer to you, to bring you some solace in your days.
It’s perfect.
It’s beautiful and absolutely perfect. You are in my thoughts daily and my heart still aches for you. Hugs, hugs, hugs, HUGS!
PsychMamma’s last blog post..Success
its beautiful ((hugs))
Domestic Extraordinaire’s last blog post..My goals for May
Perfect.
I like your tattoo alot. I want to get a rose on my arm for my Abby.
You give me chills each time I read your blog. They are good chills…but nonetheless, you affect me.
Your tattoo is beautiful.
Lots of love and prayers from Ohio
Erin’s last blog post..Smell good stuff
It is beautiful! I have tears in my eyes and my heart aches for you and your family! May you find comfort in the Lord!
Its gorgeous. Simply gorgeous. Just like Maddie.
Jaclyn’s last blog post..Elmo!
The tattoo will be a nice reminder for you. Not that a tattoo is needed, but it will be a comfort thing for you. I have one on my chest as a reminder, though not for such a tragic reason. We all carry marks inside and out, and I think this was a lovely way to show that.
Your posts are so wonderfully written, and so terribly difficult to read. I cannot imagine how hard they must be to write.
Raging Dad’s last blog post..F@ck swine flu; I want the Rage Virus
That is a beautiful tattoo. I am continuing to pray for your family. I wish I could do more, but prayer is very special. I know, from faith, that there is a bright light at the end of your grief journey, and I pray that something very good comes out of this journey you and Mike are walking.
Faith: It is not believing that God can…….it is knowing that He will.
What a beautiful and gentle tribute to your Maddy and yourself … thank you sharing your inner thoughts.
… and just because I’m a type-A person, my apologies for misspelling her name. I’m used to writing Maddie with a -y … note an -ie.
I hope you picture her singing “Single Ladies” when you look at your tattoo at least once. That was one of my FAVORITE Maddie videos!
It’s just beautiful. Thank you for continuing to share your story and your memories of your beautiful little girl.
Perfect. I love the simplicity of it and yet its so full of love and meaning.
Beautiful. My best friend has her daughters name almost in the exact spot. I told her about your blog. I hope she comes by but it might be to painful for her. Your words are so much like hers. My heart breaks for you and your husband.
I find it to be no coincidence that you chose a spot that is so thin-skinned, making the tattooing that much more painful. It is a beautiful image.
I love it (and want a tattoo myself!)
Beautiful. A perfect tribute to your little one.
That is beautiful!
When I lost my one and only pregnancy to ectopic, I got a tattoo of a heart with a halo and angel wings on my ankle. When I see it, I think about the baby we lost. It brings me comfort.
Nothing will replace your beautiful daughter, but that tattoo is a nice way to honor her and remember her.
Jodi’s last blog post..Because I don’t know what else to say
It’s the only tattoo that’s ever made me cry. It’s absolutely beautiful. I love it!
Ashley Hast’s last blog post..Baby Zoee Benefit Concert – Still time to get tickets!
It’s beautiful.
I never met Maddie, but through your (stunning) pictures of her, she just looks like a little song floating through life, like maybe you could hear little bells following in her path. With her big gorgeous smile and her sweet little face (with those EYES, amazing) she just seems as though she’d sound like bells. A million sweet, happy little tinkling bells.
chatty cricket’s last blog post..It’s like I was attacked by a mosquito with a vendetta (with an aside) (from me, not the mosquito).
It’s beautiful, and what a wonderful way to carry her with you every day.
It’s a beautiful reminder of a beautiful angel.
Perfect, Heather.
Perfect.
I was in the room with both my Mother In Law and My Sister In Law when they passed. THeir is an odd peace and blessing in being there.
Love you and Mike much.
I have a memorial tattoo for my brother. It helps. Eventually, so will yours.
Wow that is really beautiful. I dropped by to see how you are doing. No, really doing. Thanks for continuously sharing yourself and the beautiful Maddie. I wish you much grace.
Hugs for you…..
*sniff* Beautiful post.
Lovely reminder.
What a beautiful and meaningful way to remember her by!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Ok, the Squirrels are NO LONGER Cute… =-.
{ 4 trackbacks }