This is the text of the speech I gave before the March For Babies in Los Angeles, CA.
My husband and I are honored to stand here. We speak to you today as happy parents of a NICU preemie who went home, and grieving parents whose baby was taken too soon.
Nothing about my pregnancy with our Daughter Madeline was easy or routine – blood clots, tumors, gestational diabetes were just the tip of the iceberg – but things really took a turn when I suffered from Preterm Premature Rupture of the Membranes at 19 weeks gestation. Unlike most women whose water breaks early, I didn’t immediately go into labor. My low amniotic fluid was managed with complete home and hospital bed rest. While I laid there on my left side, the March of Dimes website was our lifeline. Because of MarchOfDimes.com, we knew the terms doctors used, what questions to ask, and felt much more in control in what was an otherwise wildly out of our control situation.
Bedrest only managed my low amniotic fluid for so long, and after ten weeks of being on my side I had an emergency C-Section. The Doctors warned us that, despite two steroid shots to boost her lung development, our baby most likely wouldn’t cry. They were wrong. Our Madeline came out pink and crying, and it was the best sound I’d ever heard.
Our happiness was short-lived, however, when a Neonatologist came in to see us. Madeline was born at twenty eight weeks gestation, but because of my low amniotic fluid her lungs were more like those of a twenty-five weeker. She was sicker than the hospital could treat, and she needed to be transferred to UCLA in Westwood. We were so crushed. We knew she’d be in the NICU for a while but never anticipated she’d have to be at a different hospital than me.
Things were so very dire at first. My husband Mike stayed with Maddie at UCLA, while I recovered from my C Section down the road. Mike was told several times that Maddie wasn’t going to make it, and he had to call me each time to give me the news. I couldn’t stand being so far from my daughter and husband when they needed me, so I checked out of the hospital the day after she was born. I didn’t think twice about it, and I know there are so many other mothers out here who have done or would do the same if they had to.
I’ll never forget walking into the NICU for the first time. All the NOISE. The beeps of her pulse ox, the wheeze of her ventilator, the low humming of the medical staff. But the sight of my daughter with all the tubes and cords attached…It was my first real look at her. Even with everything attached to her, she was beautiful. It hurt to not be able to touch her. I didn’t get to hold her for two weeks.
In the first few days treatments pioneered by the March Of Dimes were completely responsible for Madeline’s survival. She was given surfactant so her lungs could inflate, and nitric oxide to help her blood absorb oxygen. Her NICU stay was the dreaded roller coaster we all are familiar with – infections, NEC, chest tubes. But we stood by her side, every second, minute, and hour, and we slowly watched her get better, and stronger. After 68 days, we brought our Maddie home. It was one of the happiest days of our lives.
Because her lungs were so premature, she required multiple breathing treatments per day, and often needed supplemental oxygen when she was sleeping. To Madeline, these were just minor inconveniences on her way to conquering the world. Her father and I felt blessed every day to have such a smart, loving, beautiful baby. We often would look at each other over her curly head and wonder how we got so lucky. Often, I would remember the day that my OB/GYN told me I would miscarry her. We never took our daughter for granted.
Despite our best efforts, Maddie got sick a lot. Her premature lungs were weak and she developed Chronic Lung Disease. She was hospitalized with pneumonia, bronchiolitis, and RSV. Even when sick, she handled herself with such happiness and grace. It seems so funny to say that about a toddler, but it’s true. She ALWAYS had a smile for every doctor or nurse or respiratory therapist. She never complained. She hardly ever cried. Her lungs never held her back. She wasn’t sickly at all – she was just a happy baby that, because of her weakened lungs, was hit harder by common colds.
It was so much fun to watch her grow. We celebrated every milestone – every month she grew older we’d sing happy birthday. By the time she reached seventeen months old, she was stringing together words, cruising around our home, and offering to share every toy she had. She was the kindest, most loving person I have ever known.
I wish I could say that things were different. But on April 6th, our Madeline developed a fast-acting lung infection, and her lungs, so weakened by prematurity, finally gave out. She passed away on April 7th, and our world has forever been changed. It would be easy for us to wallow in self pity, but we can’t. Maddie wouldn’t have wanted that. Instead, we are celebrating the seventeen wonderful months we had with her. Seventeen months that NO ONE expected us to have. Seventeen months that the March Of Dimes gave us. It is hard to be anything but grateful.
I have been struggling with what to say here to everyone for a week now. Our Madeline is no more special than anyone else’s child. Through happenstance, her passing has received a lot of attention, and my husband and I have searched to find a positive way to use the spotlight. It was natural for us to turn it toward the March of Dimes. We consider Maddie’s life to be a success story. She CAME HOME and she LIVED and she made us so, so happy. It is our hope that, through the funding the March of Dimes receives, other babies in Madeline’s situation won’t have the same ending. No parent should ever have to bury a child.
When you leave here today, I hope that you will close your eyes and picture a beautiful toddler with a gigantic grin. Remember that face, and remember the work the March of Dimes does. Carry that smile with you every day, and please continue to support the March of Dimes.
{ 183 comments }
that was beautiful, we walked in san diego today and i saw quite a few people with shirts that said march for maddie and pictures of her beautiful face, and i couldnt help but shed a tear. She is such an inspiration and so are you and husband. That speech was amazing, and im so glad that you could share it with everyone at your walk!
You are incredible parents with incredible strength. Thank you for the gift of sharing Madeline with the world, and giving your time to such a worthy cause.
My heart was there with you today.
And I think that Madeline’s grace in difficult circumstances was an inherited trait.
That was a beautiful speech. I watched the YouTube version someone posted. You, Mike and Madeline are an inspiration.
That is a beautiful speech. You are an amazing and strong woman, I think we can all tell where Maddie got those traits from. Continued prayers for you all.
That was a beautiful speech. You are strong and wonderful parents. Thank you for sharing your written words here for those of us too far away.
Kimerly’s last blog post..Twitters and never ending love.
That was so beautiful and I write this with tears in my eyes. I am so glad you have chosen to celebrate Maddie’s life and that she brought you such joy… I know you are an inspiration to other parents who are going through a tough time. I dont’ know you but I love you and your family.. And I think of Maddie everyday. Thank you for sharing your story.
With love and prayers. Jodee
Jodee’s last blog post..What do you do all day anyway?
It’s perfect. You are so, so strong. We walked for Maddie today here in St. Louis. I’m wearing her t-shirt as I type this now. I’ll never forget your sweet, strong baby girl.
HeatherPride’s last blog post..Marching for Maddie
what a beautiful speech. i am in awe of your strength. i wasn’t able to walk today but i am wearing purple and i have been thinking of you, mike, your families and maddie all day. i will never forget your beautiful, incredible daughter,
God Bless you
Heather, that truly touched my soul. I’ve heard of March of Dimes but never really looked into it until a friend of mine mentioned it again. Then I heard your story and I was and am compelled to donate. Your story touches all of us, in some way or another, whether it be our hearts, our soles, our minds, the places she touches our endless. I feel special and honored to have read your story, thank you for sharing with all of us.
Antonia’s last blog post..Define 10 Years…
How beautiful. I was in tears today at my march in Riverside, California. They were doing the dove release, and there was a mother in tears on the stage. A mother that lost her baby. It made me think of you. I admire your strength. I walked today and thought of your beautiful baby girl. I did not have a shirt for Maddie, but I did think about her, and talked about her today.
Jodi’s last blog post..Because I don’t know what else to say
You are amazing. What a great speech. How selfless you are. It seems your wonderful daughter inherited that. Thank you for sharing all that with us.
Your words are perfect. We walked in Spokane this morning and thought of you and Mike and Maddie. Hugs.
anymommy’s last blog post..Soundproof Glass
So great….Peace to you.
mythoughtsonthat’s last blog post..Home Again, Safe At Last
Wow. Maddie would be so very proud of you. You are strong beyond words. What a wonderful speech, just perfect. I won’t ever forget your sweet baby girl.
Danielle @ ExtraordinaryMommy’s last blog post..Kathy Ireland on Why Moms Matter Blog Talk Radio
Beautiful. Still praying for you.
I’ve wanted to post a comment or send you an email but I haven’t been able to put the right words together. I’ve been following your blog over the past few weeks and have cried, laughed and been inspired by you and Madeline. My daughter is almost 25 months. I had Lucy at 30 weeks but she was very tiny; I lb 5 oz. She has red curls, is a feisty, hysterical, loving little girl. She spent 79 days in the NICU and is our only child. I’ve held her on my lap and watched your videos of Maddie; shown her the beautiful pictures of your radiant girl. Lucy smiles and points to your sweet Maddie as I’ve cried and wiped my tears on the back of her shirt. Your life, Maddie’s life has obviously inspired many and you both have touched thousands of people, including us. But I wish it didn’t have to happen this way and even though we’ve never met I’ve prayed for you and your family. I wish I had words that helped but please know that there are so many people thinking of you and your husband and your beautiful Maddie. We’re strangers but we were thinking of you this morning when we drove to our walk in Salt Lake. Thinking of Maddie when we saw the purple balloons and when Lucy started have a freak out to get out of her stroller – we let her. We let her walk her tiny steps, walking for her and walking for Maddie. Thank you for sharing your story, your life, your Maddie.
Codi
Team Lucy Bug!
Just when I think I’ve seen the absolute best already, you awe me again Heather. Awe, that is the only word to describe it.
love to you
Amy in OHio’s last blog post..Maddie’s Mob Needs YOU!
What a beautiful speech to honor your daughter and a wonderful charity. My prayers and thoughts are with you always. Wishing you peace in your hearts. Thank you for sharing your incredible daughter with us.
heather sporh… YOU are my hero.
ps: http://twitpic.com/3yv2g :]
What a beautiful speech. The work you have done for the March of Dimes is inspiring. I can see why Maddie was such an amazing child; she had amazing parents.
Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry’s last blog post..Not planned
I was thinnking of you today, as I have everyday for the last two plus weeks. Your strength is amazing and Maddie was as lucky to have you as you were to have her. Continuing to send my love and prayers…
KellyMc’s last blog post..Pictures of the Day
I have chills. This was so eloquent and loving. I will be walking tomorrow for the precious angel twins James & Jake Fletcher as well as for Maddie. I know you didn’t ask for this position in the spotlight and all that comes with it, but you are doing a great job.
Steph
You are an amazing woman, Heather. Your grace and courage are such an inspiration. Thank you for bringing awareness to such an important cause. I didn’t know too much about the March of Dimes before following you and Maddie and I’m so glad you opened my eyes. Nothing is more precious than a child and I plan to continue to donate to them going forward–whatever I can afford.
Maddie continues to be such an inspiration as do you and Mike.
Jennifer
Just watched your speech posted on YouTube…YOU ARE AMAZING!!! Your strength is inspiring. YOU ARE AMAZING and Maddie, I am sure, is so VERY, VERY proud to be your daughter!
Beautifully told. I can’t even imagine how difficult this day has been for you and for Mike, but I’m sure your perfect words will make a difference for many tiny babies whose struggles have yet to begin. Thanks for sharing your story so that many will be moved to help, and thanks for sharing Maddie’s amazing smile with me. Her image is a gift that I treasure.
I was at the march today and I wore a picture of Maddie and dedicated my walk to her. I missed your speech and was hoping I would see you! Just wanted to give you a great big hug! Maddie will always be by your side. Thank you for sharing your story with us. May God continue to bless you and your husband, may he give you the strength to overcome your heartache and may he give you another opportunity to be the awesome parents that you were to Maddie.
I watched this on YouTube (man, the Internet) and cried my head off. I loved the way the video panned through the crowd, because when I saw all those other people wiping their tears away I felt like I was right there. You were so brave. The March of Dimes is lucky to have someone so strong to advocate for them.
Maria’s last blog post..a time to laugh, a time to weep
We marched today with Maddie on our minds in and our hearts. Seeing all the other hundreds of people there to support MoD was awe-inspiring.
Janet’s last blog post..Veggie Tales of the Non-Religious Variety
Thank you. Thank you for being so strong. I still think about you, Mike and especially Maddie, multiple times throughout the day. You are doing great things for March of Dimes. You honor Maddie with your strength and grateful heart in spite of the pain.
I just hope you realize the good that you are doing. I hope you realize the strength you and your husband and your daughter and your parents and your brothers and sisters are giving to others. I hope you realize the remarkable people that you all are, and I hope you realize how your family has touched and changed so many others.
Loving you and thinking of you always,
Shannon
Mr Lady’s last blog post..Boudoir Is French For Weigh-Station
You and Mike are amazing, and that speech was beautiful. We’ll be thinking of you and Maddie when we walk in DC tomorrow. Lots of love and hugs.
Your speech was beautiful. I watched a video that someone had posted. Your strength is inspiring, so very inspiring.
I thought about you guys a lot today as we participated in the March for Babies here in St. Louis. It was an honor to be part of such an amazing event and I proudly wore my “marching in memory of maddie” t-shirt.
Lisa’s last blog post..Weaning from Before Nap Nursing Session: Day Four
That was absolutely beautiful. Our team will be thinking of that speech when we walk in NYC tomorrow!
Z’s last blog post..Spring Awakening (one month ago…)
This made me cry. Again.
If Canada had a Walk, I would have been there in honor of Maddie.
You and Mike amaze me in how you are reaching out in the midst of your loss. Blessings.
Angella’s last blog post..Do You Fight In Front Of Your Kids?
Your family’s grace is overwhelming. You have been a constant topic in our house for the last few weeks and I wish there was more we could do for you. There was no walk in our town today, but as a family we went for a hike and reflected on the sheer gratitude we feel. All of the wildflowers in our area are coming into bloom and it seemed to me that the purple ones stood a bit taller today. Thank you for honestly sharing your whole journey with us, it has made me want to live more consciously and be a better even more present in the moment mother. If there is ever ANYTHING I can do for you in return (I make a mean martini)please know that it would be my pleasure.
Beautiful speech. You sound so strong. I’m so sorry you lost Maddie, but also so happy you had those 17 wonderful months together.
March of Dimes seems to do such good work in relation to prematurity research. I haven’t found a similar organization in Canada; our March of Dimes doesn’t focus on preterm babies at all. I wish we had a similar Canadian organization. We would have gladly marched for Maddie today had the organization existed up here.
Thinking of you today, as always.
Trish’s last blog post..Will the circle be unbroken? Um … NO!
You guys are incredible. As always, your words are beautiful and straight from the heart. Love you both!
What a beautiful speech. My heart was there with ya’ll today and I will be walking for Maddie in Houston tomorrow. Hugs to you all!
XOXO
Amazing Greis’s last blog post..Remembering Maddie…
I must commend your admirable bravery and strength during this difficult time. You are doing such good after an unfathomable loss. I continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts (and, of course, Maddie’s most beautiful smile) and draw inspiration from your story.
Much Love,
Shannon
Jumby was born at 24 weeks and weighed 1pd 6oz.
I am thinking of Maddie as I sit beside my son’s hospital bed.
Maddie was so blessed to have the two of you for her parents.
You’re an amazing woman Mz Heather. I don’t think I’d have the strength to do what you’re doing. I’m honored to “know” you.
Bec’s last blog post..She’s bilingual…sort of
Found you from Loralee via Kelley (Magnetoboldtoo) and I just want to say that EVERY SINGLE YEAR I have been the block captain for our local March of Dimes…I miscarried my first pregnancy and had difficulty with my second and third and was lucky to have two healthy children. I give EVERYTHING to the March of Dimes and always will. Your speech was moving, beautiful, a tribute for your beautiful Maddie…I hope you move many others to GIVE to the March of Dimes.
There is no doubt in my mind that Maddie was there giving you the strength to make it through that speech. How you ever did it, thoroughly Maddie and you’re unstoppable love for her. Beautiful speech. I cry for you. And you’re right, you were gifted with 17 months with her. Lots of parents come home with empty arms. With much love comes much pain. What a price we pay to feel that sweet, sweet love. What a price…
My children Nate and Abby were both premature, but not with the problems your Maddie had endured. Our walk is tomorrow in Murfreesboro, TN, my family will have Madeline’s name in our pocket to remind us why we walk. Bless you and your family. Madeline has definitely left a gigantic foot print on the world.
Heather, I thought of you and Mike all day today. I wore purple, I saw purple everywhere I looked, I hugged my daughter extra hard and thought of Maddie tons of times. Thank you so much for sharing your speech. It was inspirational and wonderful and I stand in awe of the strength of you and Mike – fueled by the wonderful Miss Maddie, no doubt. The March of Dimes, along with the MDA (in honor another friend’s child who passed), will get the bulk of my donations from now on. You’ve educated me on an organization I’m sad to say I didn’t know a whole lot about. But I do now, and I will help to spread the word.
xo from CT,
Amanda
amanda’s last blog post..Rattled!
What a beautiful speech, and what a wonderful tribute to Maddie. I’m so amazed by you and Mike.
I couldn’t think of anything else but Maddie’s gigantic grin as I read your speech…You are right to celebrate her 17 months as she changed so many lives for the better in that time..I will always support the March of Dimes, I will never forget Maddie and the color purple has an entire different meaning to me now.
We will be here to support you and Mike and family…
XOXO
Dana’s last blog post..Sun, Apr 19, 2009
Where can I find the speech on YouTube? Tried with no luck..
your strength is remarkable. i know maddie is smiling down on you and mike… so proud of her wonderful parents. i have set up your speech from youtube on the sidebar of my blog for all to see… donations are still coming in and we will walk in baltimore next weekend.
may 3rd is my birthday, and i cannot think of a more perfect way to spend my day than honoring maddie and your incredible family.
nic @MyBottle’sUp!’s last blog post..running on fumes…
Your family and Maddie are inspiration to the rest of us. Thank you for sharing her and your story. We will be marching in our local March of Dimes walk next Saturday for our son Henry. He was born at 26 weeks and spent 104 days in the NICU. He had NEC and had two surgeries. He will be one in May. Your blog (past and present) has helped me come to terms with many things I haven’t wanted to deal with since his birth. I hope you continue to write. Henry and I watched your tribute video on Maddie. I had tears running down my face and our laptop now has chubby little fingerprints from Henry trying to touch Maddie. You are a truly remarkable woman.
Very beautifully written! Thank you for sharing your speech with us.
Jennifer’s last blog post..Sick
What a beautiful Speech Heather. Thank you for all your hard work for the March of Dimes. Im crying….AGAIN! Maddie will never be forgotten.
Beautifully written, Heather. I’m just one of the faceless, nameless strangers who read your blog, but I think of Maddie every day. Chrisie is right – she will never be forgotten. Through your writing she touched countless hearts.
So poignant, Heather…all the right words, even through your grief…you are an advocate, a leader, a change agent…a mommy. You, Mike and Maddie embody all that is good in humanity and inspire others to greatness. not a role I imagine you thought you would have when you got pregnant, but a role you have accepted with grace and pride…Your Maddie…here with a purpose…a purpose the Dr.’s couldn’t have known…for she was meant to BE and will continue to BE…for she is now the “dragonfly”…and we will never forget…your MADDIE!!! I thought of you all morning, as I sit here at work wishing I could have walked for your Maddie. Next year count me in! Kisses and hugs…
That was just beautiful. My son is a 29 weeker, who was in the hospital 69 days. His lungs were immature too, but thankfully did not ned to come home on oxygen, though they thought initially he would. He has been such an inspiration and we are walking for him tomorrow. Your words in your speech were beautiful and touching! I am glad you got to share Maddie!
Denise’s last blog post..STS: Um can I hide now?
Heather, I’m another faceless stranger who keeps reading compelled, and crying as I read your words. That was absolutely the most beautiful speech–beautiful like Maddie. You and Mike are an inspiration.
What an awesome speech! Think of you today and many other times. Thank you for sharing your speech with us all today. I could not walk today because of a prior commitment but I am happy to support such a worth cause!
You are amazing. Saw the video on YouTube, and I really don’t know how you were able to do that. I just… wow. That’s all. Just wow.
cindy w’s last blog post..March for Babies update
Heather-
My kids and I were out early this morning to go to a children’s literary event in SD. We happened across the SD March of Dimes. My eyes welled up with tears as I explained to my two little ones what all these people were out there doing today…today for little ones like Maddie. I continue to be amazed by the depth of your grace. I know Maddie is so proud.
We ended up walking half of the walk with the crowd to get where we were going…next year we need to be walking to help. Donating online is great, but it isn’t the same as being there and knowing what is truly being done for these little ones who so desperately need us.
Heidi
Heather, you and Mike are so awesome! I really admire you both.
Beautiful.
I think it is very clear where Madeline got her grace from. Much love to you. You and Mike are in my prayers continually.
That speech took my breath away. You and Mike are the epitome of grace and strength. Maddie must have gotten her sharing spirit from you, thanks for sharing her with us.
Many Hugs!
A beautiful speech. I end up crying every time I come to your blog, but I can’t stay away. I have to read about the happy little girl with the big smile who brought such joy to so many and to see how you’re doing. I walked today and thought of your family.
Heather-
You said it. There is nothing like the sight of your own baby hooked to tubes, breathing on a machine; not being able to hold your own child until weeks after they are born. And yet- I don’t want to say we love our children more than others who have not experienced this, I just think we have a deeper understanding of the completely unconditional love we feel for our child. We see just a little bit more the magical wonder that they are. We’ve been to the place where we’ve prayed “Let it be me… take me, not her.” Any parent losing a child is unimaginable. Having fought with them for life for so long…
We think of you and hug our little miracle and THANK YOU for helping other miracles happen!!
“Undo it, take it back, make every day the previous one until I am returned to the day before the one that made you gone. Or set me on an airplane traveling west, crossing the date line again and again, losing this day, then that, until the day of loss still lies ahead, and you are here instead of sorrow.” -Nessa Rapoport
I saw the video, lover, and I cried. I cried a lot. You’re a brave soul and I’m proud to be your friend.
Becky’s last blog post..Always Keep The Customer Satisfied?
I’m sitting here typing this comment and I can hardly see the keyboard through my tears. Thank you so much for sharing.
Elizabeth’s last blog post..Surfin’ U.S.A.
Your strength and grace continue to amaze me.
beautiful. we walked in san diego and it was so heartbreaking, but beautiful.
Ms. Changes Pants While Driving’s last blog post..this is me listening to a conference call
I just started reading your blog this past week – I have laughed and I have cried, and I have held my children a little tighter this week because what you have been gracious enough to share with all of us.
I have to say that if ever there was an angel on this earth, it was your daughter.
That was a wonderful speech.
Katie’s last blog post..In a FUNK.
Congratulations to you and Mike for celebrating today with all of the other walkers. What a giant step for you both and I feel happy for you! Your speech is wonderful and it made me beam for you.
Amazing. You and Mike are so brave and inspiring. No wonder Maddie has captured the hearts of so many people.
Kirsten’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
I really don’t know what to say to you and Mike and your family…
Thinking about you all and Madeline.
catherine lucas’s last blog post..
I too had a daughter in the NICU… she was only in for two days but her pregnancy was a roller-coaster like yours…we were told twice that we miscarried her in the beginning, then spent three months on bedrest, they stopped her from coming too early on five occasions…I contracted for the whole last trimester…then she was an emergency c-section at 37 weeks. Two days in NICU…a full week in the hospital…then six months in and out of doc office and ER with a trachea that wasn’t developed all the way. After that six month mark…we saw a miraculous transformation! She is now a brilliantly smart kindergartner who is quick to smile (and scream and throw fits…) and a little diva….she loves babies…and wishes that she could have been a big sister. (the docs decided it was not safe for me or a baby to try to have any more and tied our tubes). ANyway…my heart goes out to you…often and I am so proud of you today and the speech you gave! I prayed for you everytime I passed a sign for the walk! And I sent you a shout out on my blog yesterday! You are an incredible woman and Maddie was so lucky to get to spend her 17 months with you! Maybe right now she is in Heaven dancing with God smiling at her, with my son who went there 13 years ago! We love you and are busting at the seams with pride for you today!!!
Becky
Becky’s last blog post..Out of town
I love you both. It was wonderful to walk with you today, around our alma mater, and be able to laugh about silly things from college. I know Maddie was there and there’s no doubt in my head she was giggling and laughing along with us.
What a beautiful speech. Many hugs to you guys.
i will be thinking of you often & when the girls & I walk in Sandusky, Ohio on May 9th.
Hugs!!
Domestic Extraordinaire’s last blog post..The post in which you think I am going to complain but I really am not.
This is a beautiful speech! You and Mike are so strong. When I close my eyes I do see Maddie smiling and dancing! – Christina
You and Mike are so brave, and so gracious. You are both, along with your Madeline, an inspiration.
Molly’s last blog post..The way my 2009 is going
beautiful.
whereever i went today, i thought of maddie. I thought of her at the museum we took our kids to when i saw other kids. I saw the set-up for our march for babies and all the purple balloons and thought about maddie. I thought of you guys at the mall, at the carousel and in JC Penney. How today was a big day for you. I thought of you, your strength to go to your walk today, and now reading this speech i realize you were even more strong and graceful today than i could have imagined. do you have a speechwriter? Really, cause that left me speechless.
i was pissed at my husband this morning cause he was sporting an attitude. i dont know why. didnt get enough sleep or something. While driving to the museum though, i thought about life, and taking things for granted, and i thought to myself, this is dumb, and i snapped out of it. want to know why?
cause of you guys.
i feel kind of dumb for this, but you and maddie and your story – you have changed me so much!! thank you for that.
Beautiful.
Amy’s last blog post..Make a wish…
A beautiful speech, and a beautiful tribute to Maddie. As a mom of two preemies, I admire your strength and your determination to help raise money for March of Dimes. You are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day.
Amy’s last blog post..God Lives There!
Your words are beautiful! You are such a strong person. Madeline was very lucky to have parents like you and your husband. I was not able to walk in our local walk today but I thought of your family all day. You are such a strong woman! You are truly an inspiration. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day. ((HUG))
Beautiful! I have thought about you guys all day long. I was at Wal-Mart and saw a couple in March of Dimes shirts and I couldn’t help but wonder how March of Dimes had touched their lives and if they had a Maddie of their own.
Midwest Mommy’s last blog post..Things are looking up!
Yes, a beautiful speech. Inspirational and needed. Dealing with the complications in my pregnancies, we already knew how wonderful March of Dimes was/is/will be for families dealing with the issues you spoke of. But, you’re also teaching people who had no idea. And you’re doing it during a time when so many wouldn’t be able to.
Your strength, your perseverance and your inner beauty are a true testament to your character… and to the love that Maddie knew when she was with you.
Still sending our best.
FireMom’s last blog post..Scared & Alone On Fire Shift Day
Absolutely beautiful. I am astounded by your strength and grace. BTW, because of your Maddie, every single time I see purple flowers now, I think of your baby. The other day at a golf course I saw some, and thought of her. Today, during the movie EARTH, there was a part with a beautiful field of purple flowers, and I thought of her. God bless and keep you.
Manic Mommy’s last blog post..Condom Talk
I’m not entirely sure how I got to your site now, after the past hour of reading and looking at pictures…but I am glad I visited.
What an angelic, beautiful child. Looking at her makes me know that there is a higher power. Those eyes. Truly the windows to the soul.
Thank you for sharing her life.
Heather, you are amazing and wonderful, sending so much love your way. Saw purple and thought of your family. The world is a better place for you, Mike and Maddie’s being in it.
Christine’s last blog post..The daytime of the night…
I’ve been following your story for the last couple of weeks, through both your blog and Mike’s. The video in the previous post made me smile. This post made my heart hurt. Maddie was a wonderful child in part because she has such wonderful parents. All three of you are amazing.
I found your blog a couple weeks ago… thank you for sharing Madeline’s story with the world. My daughter was born not long after Maddie… November 14th, 2007. Sadie weighed 1 pound, 9 ounces and like your daughter, was blessed by the work of the March of Dimes. Thank you for advocating for the cause… I will be walking tomorrow in the March for Babies in Minneapolis not only for my tiny miracle, but for Maddie.
I thank God each day I look into my baby’s blue eyes–eyes that have that sparkle that is so similar to Maddie’s. What both of our girls lack in size, I know they make up for in spirit. I hug Sadie tighter and give her more kisses each day since I have heard Maddie’s story. Thank you for reminding everyone how precious life is.
That was the perfect speech. I’m sure every word was chosen carefully and I know that it had (and will continue to have) a huge impact on the people you know and many people you will never meet!
You have me in tears again, Heather. That was beautiful. Thought about you all day.
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Congratulations on crafting this truly perfect speech. I admire your strength so much and the way you are, as you said, using the spotlight right now. Beautiful words to honour a beautiful girl. Blessings to you and Mike…. And thank you for enlightening me about this cause. ((Hug))
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Thank you for sharing your wonderful speech with all of us who live to far away to have heard it today. I walked in the March for Babies were I live last weekend and thought about your amazing daughter.
You are so strong. Thank you for reminding me how truly blessed I am to have a healthy daughter. I take so much for granted.
It is obvious that your daughter got her strength from you and your husband. My thoughts are with you. Thank you for all the good that you’re doing.
I am crying as I write this, b/c I don’t know how you are so strong and inspirational, your daughter is truly lucky to have you as a mother as much as you have been blessed with her. What a beautiful way to honor your little girl. I lost my little girl, Ainsley at 22 weeks pregnant, born to early and too sick to survive. I never knew the magnitude of what the March of Dimes can do, and I will be making a donation in Maddie’s name.
Thank you for sharing, may god bless you and your family.
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You were in my thoughts today as we walked in Maddie’s memory in Michigan.
Sarah’s last blog post..Thursday Ten: Ow
That was beautiful. Saying a prayer for you tonight as you miss your Maddie.
I thought about you all day today after I read your tweet early this morning stating you were getting ready for you walk. I swear I saw purple everywhere.
Maddie was a rock star and it’s so obvious that she got that from her rock star mama!
Jamie’s last blog post..Tied up…
You said recently that Mike is the writer. I have news for you — you’re a writer, too. For reals.
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What a wonderful speech! hugs
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I got to watch your speech on you tube and as I sat there and listened and cried I was in awe at the strength you have. maddie would of been so proud of her mommy. It was a beautiful speech.Thanks for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
Hugs,
well spoken, Heather.
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Said so beautifully. You are a strong couple and I am so astounded by your graciousness. Take care of each other during this difficult time.
I just found your blog through a series of others…….I sit here crying. I had a sister – a couple of years younger than myself – she died at about the same age as your precious daughter. Heather also died quickly and unexpectedly. The older I get, the more amazed I am at my parents faith in God and love for each other – enduring such excruciating pain — I can’t imagine what that would have been/would be like for them. Especially now, I have a sixteen month old son – I can’t imagine what it would be like if he weren’t here anymore. With that said – know that you have been lifted up in prayer – by myself and countless others. I am so sorry for your loss.
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Crying and applauding. May the Lord and Lady hold you and keep you.
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My wife and I took part in the March for Dimes walk in San Diego. We joined the team “San Diego walks for Maddie”. My wife was really into the walk and, along with our three boys, we made San Diego March for Maddie shirts. Ours were purple and the boys wore white ones.
Some of the photos from the walk are on my Facebook page and can be viewed by the public at
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=104360&id=665215756&l=bf3ce1a380
Such a beautiful speech. Your strength continues to amaze me. May God bless you. I’ll be thinking of you as I walk tomorrow morning.
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My 19 month old 35-weeker and I walked today for him, Kayleigh Freeman, and Maddie. Our hearts and prayers were with all of you!
I just watched the video of your speech that Meghan posted on twitter. Holy crap, woman, you are amazing!! It’s funny, I knew so much of your words in your speech from your website, but hearing you speak made it even more real (if that is possible), and I am crying once again for your loss but so impressed by your strength.
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How strong and wonderful you are. Your little girl would be so proud. Still feeling so much for you, and still wishing you only the very best things as you continue to put one foot in front of the other.
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You and Mike are such courageous parents. The way you lived your life with Maddie has inspired me. I am walking for Maddie tomorrow in Chicago. You and your family will be in my thoughts, as will your delightful little girl.
I read your speech earlier on the blog and was so impressed. You certainly are grace under pressure being able to craft such eloquence under these stressful circumstances. Then I just watched your speech on You tube and was blown away. How were you able to remain so calm and composed? Well done and so very inspiring.
Heather,
My husband, son and I walked in Maddie’s memory here today in San Diego. We proudly had her name on our shirts, and I have to say, we saw Maddie’s face everywhere. So many people have been touched by you, Mike and beautiful Maddie. We were so fortunate to have a healthy son born after 5 months of bedrest during my pregnancy for numerous complications. To say that I am in awe of you cannot even begin to capture what I feel in my heart. You are an inspiration to us all. Every time I hold my son, I squeeze him extra tight, and I think of Maddie’s gorgeous smile. She is an angel from above who has given all of us new meaning in our lives and the way we look at everything. Bless you.
We know where Maddie got her grace. My heart breaks for you and your family, but Maddie’s smile will live on in all of our hearts. Thanks for sharing her life with us.
What a beautiful speech… and when I close my eyes, I really do see Maddie twirling and dancing.
amanda’s last blog post..Movie.
Thank you for sharing your story, my heart beaks for you
I know your Maddie was so proud of you today.
Beautiful and touching. Wherever Maddie is she’s flashing that million dollar smile, so proud of her Mommy and Daddy.
Lisa’s last blog post..Weigh-in, Week 12
Heather and Mike,
I have been thinking of you often – I am on the list of “I don’t know you but…” folks. I am so sorry for your loss. I keep thinking of this poem that helped me through a year in my life when I lost three people very close to me. I thought I would share. Knowing Maddie has changed me. Her life means so much. Thank you for sharing.
Shakespeare – Sonnet #30
When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste;
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night,
And weep afresh love’s long-since-cancelled woe,
And moan th’ expense of many a vanished sight;
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o’er
The sad account of fore-bemoanèd moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.
My heart breaks for you. I read your posts with tears in my eyes. I hope you find comfort in the joy that Maddie gave you and the inspiration you are giving to others,
All I can say is, WOW!
*Tears* What wonderful words. I heard of your story through Matt Logelins blog. I am amazed by your strength and courage. Your beautiful little girl was just a month older than my own. I too endured a very complicated pregnancy, and have supported the March of Dimes Foundation. I know my pregnancy and some minor problems with my Addie after birth can not compare to the heartache you feel. My heart breaks for you both. Maddie has done so much, for so many. Be proud of your angel!
baby emerson white is fighting for her life in Omaha..please say tons of prayers for her and her family.
Beautifully written. Maddie would be so proud of her wonderful Mommy and Daddy. It would be impossible to ever, ever forget your gorgeous baby girl and her amazing, huge grin. She is just …..light. Thank God for her and for her life.
Mom to Quinn (preemie, 33 weeks, now 14) and Callum (full term, breech, now 10)
My husband woke up our son this morning to walk ..needless to say an 8 year old is not easy to wake up at 6am, especially on a Saturday. Dusty ( the hubby) said to him “wake up we don’t want you to be late for your walk” Jake, with his eyes only half opened said “I have to go save babies” and I couldn’t help but tear up. After 8 years he finally got it, he got what we were walking for. I just thought I would share that with you because at the end of your speech you had said ‘and please continue to support the March of Dimes’ and I thought to myself the knowledge we have instilled in him about MOD will probably stay with him for the rest of his life & he will continue to work hard to raise money for this wonderful organization long after we are gone.
We got there late and we did not hear you make that wonderful speech in person, but it is beautiful. Since we live in Ventura County we usually walk the MOD in Simi Valley, but this year I wanted to walk in L.A., for Maddie. I never had the pleasure of meeting her, but I wanted to be surrounded by the people who care and love her.
Thank you for sharing her with all of us.
I am in tears… I hope you don’t mind me sharing this and I don’t know who taped it be it really was a great speech
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_-4FzeQQx4
Bravo. Beautiful, beautiful words.
So well said. Keep up the greatness.
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There are a million things I’d like to say to you.
You are my best friend. Ok, not really. That’s Michelle….but you write like her so I feel close to you. Not in a stalker way. More like we’ve experienced some of the same events & understand life from a similar view point.
I have family that live in Newbury Park. My niece grew up there. If you saw Morgan you’d think she’s beautiful.
My grandson did not survive his prematurity. His name is Lucas Wyatt and he was beautiful. Your Maddie is also beautiful…I hope they meet eachother somewhere over the rainbow. They can play together. And plot together. Luke was born January 5, 2007.
You’re funny. I like that. A sense of humor is the ONLY way to get through the horror of a child’s death. My daughter & I share a gallows humor….no one else gets us, but when the absence of Luke is too much we get eachother & it helps. A little.
I am a SAHN (stay at home Nana). You’re right–the silence after working with a group is deafening. Thank God for IM on my MSN. It keeps me in touch with friends when I am working from home.
I stumbled on your blog…but what a serendipitous stumble. I will share you with others. I will keep you to myself. I will find comfort in your words. I will feel for your struggles.
Thank you for your honesty. For your sharing.
I will notice purple in Maddie’s honor.
Your Stregnth and Grace are a beautiful testament to your daughter’s life and memory.
Please know that you are in our hearts as we walk later today in RI.
I’ve only recently found your blog, what with all the links to it. I’ve read so much about your daughter on so many different blogs, on Twitter, but this is the first time I’ve been able to stop and read through your posts properly. I’m only 16 and I know I can have no true understanding of what you’re going through, but I know it must be horrible, more awful than any words could ever express. You and your husband are both so brave. I will be praying for you. You are not alone in this time, I know you can see that here, but it must be almost unbearable. I’ve shed tears for Maddie, but also for you and your husband, as parents. If I could send love in any physical way to you, I would. You are in our thoughts and hearts, and I hope that is some comfort.
God Heather, My heart aches for you more every day. I wish I could give you a big hug. I was walking with my children yesterday and we picked several purple flowers. I told them that those were Maddie’s favorite flowers and my 4 year old asked me who Maddie was. I told him she was a guardian angel from heaven. It’s is funny how I never paid much attention to purple flowers before…now I don’t ever let one go un-noticed. Or anything purple for that matter. I swear that little girl has had such a impact on me and so many people. Remember … we all love you! Shannon
Heather, that was absolutely beautiful.
Jill’s last blog post..Nurturing FAIL
That was so beautiful. I watched the video last night and was amazed by your strength. You did a wonderful job.
Nic’s last blog post..Faith
With a tear stained face… Absolutely beautiful!!!! Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful. I am so impressed by your strength, and your love for your daughter. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
Thank you for including us in your speech– truly wonderful! I think of you daily and you are never far from my thoughts.
You continue to amaze me. You are so incredibly strong.
As we marched Saturday morning in Atlanta with our 28 weeker in tow we thought of Maddie, you and Mike with every step we took. Purple was EVERYWHERE…the shirts, the flowers alongside the route, even the sunrise yesterday morning. All of this beauty reminded us of Maddie’s sweet, shining smile and incredible spirit. You continue to remain in my thoughts daily.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful girl with us and for continuing to amaze us with your strength and courage. There is no doubt in my mind as to where Maddie got her strength!
What a generous and lovely speech. The joy your daughter brought you is apparent and I hope you continue to feel her joyfulness.
I am in awe of you. Madeline must be so proud.
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You and Mike are so brave to have participated in the March for Babies yesterday. I can’t imagine how difficult that was for you. We walked in the March here in Birmingham (AL) yesterday, and all the purple made me think of Maddie.
Thank you for sharing. I have been thinking of you and Mike a lot these last few weeks.
That’s a beautiful speech. You are in my prayers.
You have such amazing strength. I walked MoD yesterday with my daughter and I didn’t get there on time to catch your wonderful speech about your little Maddie. I’m glad to see that it was posted on Youtube and I got to see it and it brought me to tears. I walked in honor of my daughter who was prematured at 32 wks and we walked in memory of your little Maddie. Your daughter will forever be in my heart and may God bless you and your family always.
Your speech was awesome! Tears streaming down my face…. again. Thank you for sharing. You have such a wonderful way with words.
The way you view your daughters life is beautiful. She was (and still is!) such a gift. Thank you for being so generous as to share your gift with all of us. I think I can safely speak for everyone when I say we love the gift of Maddie!
What a touching speech. You’re so right, 17 months of life is a definite success. What a beautiful little girl. Bless her!
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Just got back from our walk here in Indy. I thought about you constantly. You had a huge team of friends and supporters here in the Hoosier State. Maddie was very much Hoosiers Favorite! Take care my friend…
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From one NICU family to you & Mike only two words: Thank You.
We had our March for Babies walk today and I saw a lot of purple shirts with flowers and the name Madeline on them. I wanted to ask so bad but didn’t but I knew they were walking for your Maddie here in Cincinnati, OH.
What a beautiful speech. I can imagine Maddie is so proud!
I just came across your blog, as I am new to blogging myself. I stayed up til 3am last night reading your blog. I was crying the entire time. I can never imagine what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Your words never fail to touch my heart. Maddie was so very lucky to have parents that love her so voraciously, she will live on in everyone’s heart that knows her story.
Well done mom!
Hugs,
Marie
Heather, You and Mike are what I would call heroes. I bow to your strength, your courage, your generosity and your utter selflessness in what is such a painful time for you.
I don’t know how you do it. I don’t understand how can write and speak these words at this time, that are reducing total strangers to tears. But I salute you. I can see where Maddie got it from:-)
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What a beautiful testament to your Maddie. Beautiful.
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Wow, what a speech! We put together a Knoxville, TN team and walked for Maddie yesterday. Thanks for letting us into your life! I have been following your blog for several weeks now and just love you guys! We will continue to pray for you both!
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Beautiful beautiful speech, I think a lot of people are different now knowing that and knowing her.
christieo’s last blog post..Before and After: The last day!!
You are so amazingly brave and graceful. I read your post last night, but as usual I was bawling my eyes out too much to type. Your speech and the way you talk about your daughter is so beautiful, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing her with all of us. My heart hurts for you and your family daily. you are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Thank you for sharing Maddie’s story. Our son has had a similar journey with lung disease and was born the same week as Maddie. You and your family have been in our prayers and on our hearts since we first read about Maddie as we know each lung sickness he gets could be too much for him. May you find strength and peace through the time you had together and the community that is supporting you in your grief. Blessings!
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That was so well done. I watched the speech on youtube and I was moved to tears. You, Mike Maddie were/are so lucky to have one another.
What a touching speech. Thank you for sharing it with us.
God bless you.
That speech is absolutely beautiful and from the heart. I worked today and could not walk for Maddie, but at my work (I am a grocery store manager) I saw two different sets of people wearing I Walk for Maddie shirts. At sight of them it gaves me chills all over my body and tears sprung to my eyes. I approached the first set, who had a baby born at 30 weeks who was with them today, now 5 years old. They told me she was able to walk for herself in her honor so they were walking for Maddie. The other set had no children but heard about your story through friends and, like me, felt your story changed our lives. We all talked about what a beautiful vibrant girl she was. I mean beautiful in every way possible, once you can look past the gorgeous blue eyes and the halo of curls, you can see beauty pouring from her soul. God bless your family and thank you for making the world a better place by raising such an angel.
What a beautiful, touching speech. Maddie would have been proud, and happy to meet all those people walking for/alongside her. You have inspired me to walk for both Maddie and my son Collin next year.
((hugs))
Funsize’s last blog post..Trust
Wow.
We walked the March for Babies in Hardin County, Kentucky yesterday and our team carried purple ballons for Madeline and our 2 1/2 year old daughter was dressed in purple in memory of Madeline. For pictures see ‘www.caringbridge.com/visit/emilybach” page 4 and 5.
We love your speech and continue to keep you and your family in our thoughts.
Your strength continues to amaze me. What a beautiful speech.
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What a wonderful touching tribute to your daughter. I think of your family and your daughter often and hope that you will find continue to find peace and comfort in your memories of her.
My family walked together in Riverside too in memory and tribute to my nephew who was born at 26 weeks and only 1lb 12 oun…he was the tiniest little fighter there ever was! My sister and her husband were on the stage as well for the dove ceremony, it was so moving I couldnt stop my tears. It felt so good to walk all those miles with my family as we talked about our little Jake and how awesome he was in our lives. It has been one year today April 27th since he went home to be with Jesus. It meant alot to take part in such a good cause and looking forward to doing it every year. God Bless you and your family…your lil one is up there having lots of fun with Jesus and she will always be smilin and healthy.
I wasn’t able to participate in the MOD walk on Saturday. However, on Friday night my best friend and I ran 10 miles in Maddie’s honor. We wore our purple, and we had the BEST run we’ve ever had. We KNOW Maddie’s inspiration was responsible for that!
Heather, the speech was beautiful and I am so glad it was posted on YouTube so that I could hear your voice as you spoke these words.
Amy
Oregon
what a beautiful speech!
I’ve been reading your blogs these pass couple weeks and I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling. I just wanted to say that I think you are one very strong woman. I’m sure you’ve heard this many times, I don’t know you, never have met you, but I check your blog out every couple days to see if anything new is posted. A few blogs have brought tears to my eyes and I’m sure Maddie is looking down on you and is so proud you!
Thank you for sharing your journey. At my school we do a huge fund raiser for March of Dimes. I have always donated so I could wear jeans. But coming across your story has changed the way I feel about those jeans. I have passed your blog on to others at my school.
Although I have never met you or your little Maddie, y’all’s story has had an impact on me and I thank you for sharing it.
Overcome with emotion and my words feel so wholly inadequate, but once again I can’t leave without saying something. I ache for all of you, but at the same time I am so moved by your love for your precious Madeline. You don’t just love Madeline, you ARE LOVING her. Although she can’t be here with you in the physical world, you hold her in your loving heart, share her with the world and IT I,S making a difference. The ripples continue.
I can hear your voice so clearly. You are such a beautiful, talented writer.
Madeline was so lucky to have you and Mike as parents — and you two are so lucky to be her parents. Now & forever.
xoxoxoxoxo
I just came across your blog…I’m so sorry for your loss. The company I work for and the particular area in the company I work at works very closely with the March of Dimes. My co-workers and I work hard every day to help people like Madeline. You show incredible strength, keep it up.
That was beautiful Heather. Thanks for sharing… still
This is absolutely amazing.
Just beautiful and heartfelt.
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Beautiful. Just beautiful.
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That was really a wonderfull dedication to Maddie and to her effect on your lives.
I clearly recall how tramatic this last April 7th was in my life as I lay in a hospital bed ready to deliver my own premature baby. He has so many respiratory issues and I’m still waiting for him to be released still to this day. Some days I feel at my wits end with frustration and then I force myself to remember how far he has come. I bend over to smell his sweet baby smell and that gets me through at least one more day……
I’m so glad that you and Mike fought so hard to bring Maddie safely into this world and that she has made such a big impact even today through your words.
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