Comments on: Joyce

By: Wendy

Wendy — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:55:10 +0000

I get it. Boy, do I get it. Tara’s explanation to Anya (That we don’t know how, or why) left me bawling even harder than Anya’s exasperation.

By: wordygirl

wordygirl — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:52:53 +0000

You’re right, that episode (The Body) is absolutely amazing; and that moment when Anya – who is new to mortality, after all – breaks down is the pinnacle. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t tear up at that point.

Great post, Heather. I’m praying for you and your family every day.
.-= wordygirl´s last blog ..Dear Gwen: Month Sixteen =-.

By: Shell

Shell — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:59:15 +0000

Heather, this post was so beautiful…I too, get it. I am an ardent Buffy fan and was, back in 2001, when I first watched this episode. At the time, my mother was battling terminal cancer and I knew, as I watched it, that at some point in the near future I would be faced with my own mother’s death. Up until that time, I truly had never seen death portrayed in such a realistic and non-melodramatic way – without music, profound speeches or wise words, expected emotional responses, etc. I wept when i watched it, and was haunted by it. However, in a weird way, I feel like it somehow prepared me (albeit in a small way) for that moment the next year when I did lose my mom. We had kept her at home, and my dad and I were sitting with her. She was unconscious, her breathing uneven. I had noticed her nail polish was chipped, and so was repainting her fingernails, when my dad and I could hear a slowing in her breathing. My father and I looked at each other, and then she took a couple more breaths then…nothing. That moment, when she stopped breathing, has never left me. The fact that one moment, in one breath, she was alive and there and with us still, and the next she was gone from us, completely and utterly (I knew and felt this) was so strange…There is a physicality to death (the event itself, I mean) that I had never understood before, but that Buffy’s “The Body” captured so well. I know my experience does not compare to yours. I had my mother for 30 years, and losing a parent is a much more natural experience than losing a child. I am a mom for the first time, with an infant son, and my heartbreaks when I imagine your loss and how I would feel if it were my child…I just wanted to share why that episode resonates with me as well (I’ve seen it and thought about it many times since, and cry every time), and send you my best wishes…

By: marty

marty — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:42:16 +0000

I think Buffy is one of the most realistic shows ever made. Except of course for all the monsters.

I really hope that Joss Whedon has a chance to read this post.
.-= marty´s last blog ..To my dance partner =-.

By: IzzyMom

IzzyMom — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 04:39:49 +0000

You nailed it. That episode is exactly what it’s like to lose someone. I’m just so sorry you have to keep reliving it.

FWIW, I used to dream all the time, when I was in my teens, that my mom hadn’t really died. I would run into her at the grocery store or some other odd place and I would ask her how it was possible for her to be standing there and she would smile and say that she was still alive and then I would wake up feeling a mixture of sadness and relief. Eventually the dreams stopped. I think it’s your mind’s way of working through the grief.

xo
.-= IzzyMom´s last blog ..Thanks for Nothing, Big Corporate Robber Barons =-.

By: Kerri

Kerri — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:06:27 +0000

I have watched that episode more than once… I am a huge Buffy Fan as well. Funny how we can make such a connection to a television show… but it is so meaningful. I cry each and everytime I see it. She is so strong but so vunerable. So human… so real.

Hugs,
Kerri

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:56:41 +0000

I remember that episode, since I’m a huge Buffy fan. I’ve watched all the episodes more than once, except for that one since it was so painful. And I get it. I’m sorry for what you have to go through each and every day.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:45:12 +0000

You need to write a book! Your painful thoughts captured me. You are a talented writer! I am sure I would throw up on myself at that exact moment if I lost one of my girls. Thank you for sharing your pain and honesty. I admire you so much for all you are dealing and with and you move through each day.

By: Marisa

Marisa — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:52:52 +0000

Heather, You never let us get away with thinking, “what a shame.” Your words have made the loss of Maddie so real to all of us. I understand just a small portion of what you must feel and it is almost too much to bear.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:36:35 +0000

Heather,
I get it. I’ve lost my mother. Many a nights I dreamt that she had faked her death so my brothers and I would financially be helped out…and in my dream I would recognize her in her “new” identity. I knew it wasn’t true. I knew my mom was gone….but it is how I coped.

I think you are doing a GREAT job of coping! Remember to take it day by day.

Hugs to you, Mike, Binky, & Rigby
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..Coming to Terms =-.