When we arrived at Brittany’s house last week, we excitedly said hi to all the members of her family. This included her husband Andy, kids Jude, Wyatt, and Gigi, her mom, and most adorably, her mom’s NEW PUPPY!
This is Jilly, a black and silver pug.
On the drive in from the airport, Brittany told us all about how her mom had just driven from Ohio to Texas to get Jilly. That’s like, what, 100,000 miles round trip? I don’t really know much about geography in the middle of the country. She also said Jilly was expensive (Britt’s mom breeds dogs).
I went over and carefully scooped up the puppy. I hadn’t seen Rigby for five days at this point, and I was ready to get my dog fix. I took Jilly over to Annie, who looked at the dog like, “um, what is that, it doesn’t have long fur I can tug, get it out of my face.”
I stood up and said, “MIKE! We have to get a puppy like this! Look how sweet and calm she is! I love this dog! MIKE! I want ano-”
And then Jilly decided to betray me, and jumped out of my arms.
I turned and tried to grab her, while yelling, “Jiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllyyyyyyyyy nooooooooooo!”
(this was all in slow-motion)
I managed to get my hands under Jilly’s back legs and I slowed down her fall a bit, but she still hit the ground with a bit of force.
The room went silent. Everyone looked at me, then at the dog laying on the ground, then me, then the dog. I stared at Jilly. “GET UP” I screamed at her silently. “GET UP GET UP GET UP OH SHIIIIIIIIII-”
She got up. Shook herself off in that way only dogs can. Then she looked at me, made eye contact…AND THEN SHE STARTED SCREAMING LIKE A HUMAN.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!”
I could feel Mike staring holes through me. I looked at Annie, and her face said, “Mama? Why did you break that dog and make it cry?”
Then Andy said super casually, “everything working on that dog?” and I said, “I don’t know, I’m afraid to touch it, Jude come here, you’re four, you’re a big boy, check on the dog for me OK?”
Jude gave the dog a bone, then said, “Hey! Come watch me play Lego Batman!” Clearly, he wasn’t traumatized by Jilly’s attempted suicide.
Brittany’s mom stepped in and scooped up the dog. She pronounced her fine. I couldn’t make eye contact.
Mike wouldn’t let me hold Annie for the rest of the weekend.
This isn’t like stepping on your own dog, or accidentally kicking your kid in the head (she needs a collar, seriously, she just sneaks up on me!). This was someone else’s puppy! I am going to have mega-guilt until that dog dies of (hopefully) natural causes. In the meantime, I’m starting my “replace Brittany’s mom’s dog” fund.
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for the early morning puppy LULZ!
Have you ever thought about going into slapstick?!
What a cute puppy! Don’t worry, animals are just as resilient as kids. My daughter accidently fell down the stairs last week and I have *the* worst guilt over it. See, I bet you feel better all ready.
Elle´s last [type] ..The fake accent
The puppy looks fine but I am sure you were traumatized! Poor you!
My BFF got a new Yorkie about a year ago. She had her in a crate ON HER FIRST DAY HOME when the dog got her foot stuck somehow and SNAP…leg broken. After 8 weeks, an ortho specialist and $5000 the leg was pronounced healed. Hooray! They got home, and the dog was so happy and excited. It had NEVER gotten onto the couch before, but somehow managed, and BFF saw the dog just as it readied to jump…same slow-mo…same trying to save dog…didn’t make it. Dog breaks OTHER leg. Yep. I think this dog has bad bones, and this is the reason she got it free. So, $10,000 later…the dog has two healed broken legs. ACKKK! Glad YOUR puppy friend came out fine!!
I find that if I lather myself with peanut butter, puppies (and kids) rarely jump out of my arms.
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last [type] ..My husband looks waxy
AHAHAH.
I hope the dog is okay, that can be really scary.
Our friend’s son was over one day and was holding our daughter’s guinea pig… he dropped it. Falling 3 feet isn’t great for an animal the size of a sub sandwich. He didn’t die, but man.. daughter never did quite forget that her friend had dropped her pet.
That probably isn’t a helpful story. But the pig didn’t die.
Heather´s last [type] ..braving the snow shoes- braving the fish
O.M.G!!! Poor Jilly, but dogs are pretty resilient, I’m sure she’s fine!!
AmazingGreis´s last [type] ..Two steps forward One baby step back…
Awwww! Don’t worry, I dropped my hamsters many times when I was old enough to be more careful. I have an extremely wiggly cat who has had many close calls, and I also volunteer with cats at an animal shelter and have done many things accidentally that, if there were a Cat Protective Services, I’d be locked up for.
Dogs, even tiny ones, seem to be made of pretty tough stuff. I’m sure she is fine. I stepped on my in-laws dog once. Serious, he is so bad for just sneaking under your foot when you’re not watching just before you are about to step down. He cried like a baby and I felt so bad. But, that was a couple of years ago and he seems fine. Also, not at all change by it since he still sneaks under peoples feet all the time.
Lisa´s last [type] ..And Let The Games Begin
My brother’s mini Dachshund used to do that when he was a puppy too and it scared me half to death. They’re usually fine, it’s us who are traumatized!!
Brandy´s last [type] ..Craigslist Is My Friend
Wait, the dog screamed?! Ok, I am traumatized just reading that!! But, I’m sure she will be just fine…
It was a HUMAN scream.
I still get chills.
We also have a ridiculously small suicidal dog. Traveling to our parents via overstuffed car, my husband and I set our new puppy on a pile of blankets atop a high stack of suitcases in the backseat. Our yorkie, Roscoe, at 8 weeks of age catapulted his body out of the car the minute the door opened at a gas station. He flew through the air and landed on his head IN A PUDDLE! He’s fine, but his tongue seems to now permanently stick out of his mouth a little. We choose to believe that he simply knocked it loose.
I love your blog by the way. It’s my favorite thing on the interweb!
I know that’s not supposed to be super funny as far as the dog-dropping goes, but I am laughing out loud….still! ! ! The way you describe the “incident” is hilarious!!!!!!!!! Andy’s calmness, Jude’s apathy, your inability to make eye contact,…….HAHAHA! You just made my morning!!!!!!!!!
Our miniature dachshund fell into our swimming pool the night that we got him. In retrospect, it was probably a sign of things to come – he later survived me almost closing the dishwasher on his head and my husband sitting on him, poor guy… But yeah, they are remarkably resilient. I’m sure that Jilly is just fine!
Kristin´s last [type] ..Dear Monkey-
Awwww look at that PUPPY!!!
I’m sure everything is fine, dogs are pretty good at bouncing back but I know that guilt feeling I kicked my friends cousins dog by accident when he was a puppy, he got under my feet and I didn’t see him.
OMG, that reminded me of the time I was holding a friend’s wobbly infant. This was before I had kids & I had very little experience holding babies. She was probably around 6-8 months old, and suddenly she did one of those lurches (that I’m now very familiar with) and I DROPPED HER! She did a head-over-heels tumble in the air before I was able to grab her before she hit the floor. The whole room was silent, staring at me. I was FREAKING out. My friend kept saying it was fine, but her husband looked like he wanted to kill me. Thankfully, she was fine, but I didn’t hold another baby until I birthed one myself.
Nah, you need a Pappi! They are so so cute.
Or a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier.
Rebecca´s last [type] ..Sunday Snapshot – Sundays in My City
We were at a dog park once with our bulldog George (RIP), when another dog crashed into him. He started squealing/screaming at a high pitch and it was the WORST SOUND EVER! I thought he was badly hurt and checked every inch for some kind of damage. His screaming of course brought people over and they were fawning over him. Once he got his fill of attention, the screaming stopped and he ran off to play. What a faker!
I also had an Olde English Bulldog who fell about 12 feet from a deck (the railing had not been put on yet) onto concrete steps and got up to go to the bathroom and play. After a very expensive trip to the emergency vet for an X-ray, turns out NOTHING was wrong. Dogs can be quite tough.
sounds like jilly will be fine…you on the other hand not so much :/
also..jilly is SOOOO adorable <3
Our dog took a flying leap off of the coffee table after we had him home for 4 whole days. He cried and cried and cried. I felt horrible. He was fine after five minutes or so.
Dogs are like kids, they need the attention for a few minutes and a bandaid.
Kelly´s last [type] ..Play dates Part Two
The dog is FINE. Except that is can no longer turn left.
It’s an ambi-turner.
WAY TO GO, HEATHER.
You are cracking me up Brittany.
I have a pug, and they are CRAZY lil dogs, haha. I had a crazy suicidal cat once. It swallowed a Tylenol and was poisoned, and after many bleak days at the vet’s office, they declared it a miracle cat and sent it home. On the same day we brought it home, it somehow got itself up under my dad’s paving equipment and when he turned on the machine it broke it’s leg. It was in a pink leg case for 8 weeks. Needless to say I truly believe in the whole “cats have 9 lives” theory, lol.
That is a very cute puppy! I’m glad its suicide tempt was not successful.
Amanda M.´s last [type] ..Recipe- Sweetheart Fruit Salsa
That was a funny story. =)
And just as a side note because I can’t help myself – I volunteer at my local SPCA and I beg of you (and everyone else) to please please please adopt a dog if you’re going to get one. There are tons of purebred dogs out there that need homes (as well as adorable and more resilient mutts, of course!) I hate to be the one to push my agenda on here and I normally wouldn’t, but if everyone knew how many (millions) of dogs and cats are put to sleep EVERY YEAR, I think we would all think twice before purchasing a dog.
You can find your perfect dog at http://www.petfinder.com! It searches rescue organizations across the country for you!
=)
I haven’t told this to a single soul, but a few years ago I decided I had to have a shih tzu in spite of the fact that I had two other dogs at the time. I found a seller, and off I went. The puppies were six-and-a-half weeks old, very tiny, and the cutest things you ever saw. I was trying to decide between two of them and was holding one in each hand. One of them managed to escape my grasp and fell approximately four feet to the tile floor. She sprawled on her tummy with all four legs out to the sides and actually skidded. The seller insisted that she was the one I would buy, and I did. Then she proceeded to tell me that a mother and her four-year-old son had also been to her home to buy one of the pups and the little boy dropped one and it died.
Thank God, my girl is now four years old and couldn’t be better, but I was sooooo worried. I’m glad I finally got that off my chest by publishing this story!
My neighbor’s mom has a Pug / Bugle called a Puggle that we nicknamed Struggle. He has an underbite, he’s a PITA and farts a lot. He’s only a couple years old. He was SO cute as a puppy, but not so much anymore. He visits regularly so I get to see him once in awhile.
I like Rigby better.
Bahahaha. You know that every time that dog runs into a wall or falls through a sewer grate on it’s walks (and all the other dumb things dogs do) they’re going to blame you right?
Neeroc´s last [type] ..Tidy up Tuesday – freecycle is my bff
Bwah ha ha! This is actually how we ended up with our dog Pica. I’d chosen her sister instead, but she did this spazzy Jack Russell thing and plummeted to the ground. After than, it made more sense to choose a different puppy.
Really, it made no difference. Pica hits the walls, stairs, floor (pretty much everything) whenever she has a doggie-freakout moment (pretty much every day).
Lamb´s last [type] ..Monster Jam in Albuquerque- NM
Maybe this story will make you feel better. …
My friends mom was lonely and everyone encouraged her to get a dog. She got a super cute Yorkie puppy and she LOVED it. She brought it to my friends house, and he picked up the little puppy to carry it down the long flight of stairs since it would be so much work for the little guy. My friend fell down the stairs and tumbled down with the puppy. The puppy ended up needing some major vet care and my friend used his homeowners insurance to make sure he got everything he needed. It was awful. He felt SO bad. But the puppy did get all better and is still very happy.
So anyway, at least you didn’t fall down the stairs and break it. There’s that I guess!
Amanda´s last [type] ..The Day Target Hated Me
My yorkie “Emmitt”, who is now seven, managed to wiggle out of my mother’s arms when he was a tiny puppy and hit the floor just like Jilly. He screamed, just like Jilly. However, he ran screaming from the room and I ran after him screaming his name. I was hysterical thinking he was hurt. My 9 yr old cat “Jinx” saw Emmitt screaming with me chasing him and must have assumed I hurt Emmitt on purpose or wanted to hurt him more. Jinx ran at me like a freaking Cheetah, pounced, wrapped his paws around my leg and sunk his teeth into my calf , slashing my skin. I had to have a weeks worth of antibodics, a tetanus shot, and I still have a scar lol. Who says cats hate dogs?
I onced dropped my (at the time) 2 1/2 year old niece. I was holding her and walking down these stairs (there was only 3 of them) as my shoe literally broke in the middle part parallel to your arch and she went flying. Even though she was OK and she is now 14 it still enters my head every once in a while I felt so bad!
OMG that reminded me of the shih tzu incident I had when I was babysitting my friends daughters. The youngest one was almost for and I took them to see my neighbors new puppies. Well Nikki picked up one of the puppies and held her so gently it was so sweet and in a second held that puppy by its stomach with her arms outstretched and proceeded to spin around as fast as she could just as we collectively said NO NIKKI she let go of the poor thing that went flying into a hedge – ahhhhhhhhhh! We scooped the puppy up and she was fine but it was one of the most awkward and scariest moments of my life. That puppy was later adopted by my aunt and lived a long life.
I’m sorry – but that story is hilarious!
And that dog is BEYOND CUTE.
When I first got my beagle Elly (around 8 weeks old) she was watching me eat mac and cheese under our glass table. As I dropped a noodle onto the table, Elly simultaneously jumped as high as she could and hit her poor little puppy head SO HARD. She screamed a sad, long puppy scream, and ran away. I felt SO bad. Needless to say, I pretty much let her finish my mac and cheese.
She hasn’t done it since though.
Another awful story. Before Elly, we had a maltese named Snowflake and she always slept right next to me in bed. One night, I was having a dream that I was being attacked, and I actually BIT MY DOG IN MY SLEEP. She squealed, jumped of the bed and hid under it. After that, she slept by my feet rather than my face.