Everyone needs an enemy, right? Some people are enemies with a neighbor, others with a boss or former classmate. My enemy? Lee Corso.
He wasn’t always my enemy. In fact, I used to find him charming and somewhat hilarious, acting like a crazy college kid even though he’s over 70 years old. We are big college football fans around these parts, so I watch him religiously every week.
It all started back in 2005, when the College GameDay crew came to the LA Memorial Coliseum for #11 UCLA vs. #1 USC . For those of you who don’t watch College GameDay, it’s filmed at a different college football town every week. The filming is open to all students and fans of either team. Pretty much everyone in attendance is die-hard for their chosen team, and many people bring signs to be seen on TV. I wanted to proclaim my ultimate fan status toward Corso. He is so enthusiastic and a little nutty, just like me. Clearly, we’re cut from the same cloth. I wracked my brain for a week, trying to think of a way to get his attention. And then it struck me the same way lightening struck Corso’s rental car:
This sign was on the broadcast several times (I didn’t have a DVR in 2005 so you’ll have to take my word for it). About 70 minutes into the show, a P.A. in sweat pants came over to me and said, “You’re going to have to take your sign down. It’s obscene. Corso doesn’t like it.” I said, “Obscene? What part of it is obscene? Wait…Corso saw my sign?! YAY!” My friend Chris (the one in the picture) then said, “There’s nothing bad written on this sign! It’s just implied. There is TOTALLY a difference.” The P.A. ran off, and we celebrated our victory. Until the P.A. came back with USC campus security. They tried to get me to hand them my sign. At this point, the crowd was egging me on. I refused to give them my sign, saying, “this isn’t the USC campus. You can confiscate my sign! It’s MY property! I’m not a student! You don’t have any jurisdiction over me!!!”
Then they got the L.A.P.D. The officers said something about discussing what my sign said down at the station. I gave them my sign. But my love for Corso? Destroyed. He was now Heather Enemy #1. Why didn’t he love me back?
The next year, Lee picked CAL to destroy USC in their meet up in Berkeley. Instead, USC dismantled CAL. The following week, the GameDay crew was at the Coliseum for #2 USC vs #6 Notre Dame. I made this sign, mocking Corso’s erroneous choice:
He didn’t have time to have me or my sign removed from the broadcast area – not that he had grounds for it – because as soon as my sign was on TV I got out of there.
In 2007, I was on bed rest during the entire football season, and I bet Corso breathed a sigh of relief. But this year, I am not on bed rest!! This past weekend, GameDay was once again at the Coliseum, this time for #5 Ohio State’s visit. For the weeks leading up to the game, everyone asked me what my sign would say. I knew I would have at least one sign – this one:
Even Flat Jackie! made an appearance!
It took me a while to think about my other sign. My tailgating crew and I wracked our tired brains, and then I decided to blame Corso for a crime I’d been the victim of nine years ago:
What? Can you prove he didn’t steal my bike? That’s what I thought.
My friends Brianne, Derek, Jack, Jeff, and Erin went over to the GameDay set, and we went for our usual spot behind Chris Fowler. When we got there we found a bunch of rowdy painted fraternity guys, so we knew we’d get on camera. And sure enough…
Another one of our signs (referencing the USC Quarterback’s slightly vulgar nickname) managed to make it on camera before it, too, was banned. Luckily my friend Derek was much more charming to the P.A., and he wasn’t threatened with legal action. Or maybe it was because Corso wasn’t afraid of his love. I prefer to think it’s the latter. If I know Corso (and I think I do), he’s already worried about the next sign I’ll greet him with.
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
oh my, you are hysterical. I can’t believe they made you take down the sign. I would have come back with something worse…
Heather- you always seem to be having fun!!! It’s just like you to be taken away by the po-po.
mayas last blog post..Red Velvet Cupcakes
Ok, I am BUCKEYE fan so I can’t believe I am leaving on a comment on a USC fan’s blog
BUT
I can admit when some one is funny -
and USC fan or not – You are a riot – LOVE the signs (all of them)!!!!!
and I wish your Trojans hadn’t kicked our Buckeye asses…. It was painful.
Jamies last blog post..Oh, the (Buckeye) Misery ~
Too freakin’ funny, Heather! Did Jackie’s sign make it on?
Lee Corso doesn’t know who he’s f-ing with, does he?
Daddy Dans last blog post..My Blogoversary
That’s a hoot! They seriously threatened to take you down to the station? Girl, you don’t have enough money… if you did, you wouldn’t have had to step down to Corso.
I was watching a clip with Pacino the other day, he said he got into a fender bender, totally his fault. The “victim” got out of his car and flipped out, then he realized who it was and pretty much became World Brown Noser #1. Me? I would have said “Your fault. You pay.” Celeb or not!
Hmm, hope you can see where I was going with this. Because I’m wondering how the synapses in my brain worked that one out.
gins last blog post..Les préservatifs
Jackie is FAMOUS!
Those signs are hilarious, even though I have no idea who Corso is, I LOVE it!
You are TOO FUNNY.
It sounds like Corso had a little something to worry about, you saying he was your baby daddy. What’s that saying, “Thou dost protest too much”?
Hahahahahahahhaha. That is seriously the funniest thing. I scared the hell out of my dog because I was laughing so hard
That totally sounds like something I would do. 
awe.some.
oh my god, i love this.
and *sigh* i wish we lived in the same place
alis last blog post..because i’m the mom and i said so.
That is one of the funniest stories I have read in a long time. What an uptight moron to get upset over that original sign – maybe he has a John Edwards-like skeleton in his closet and you hit a nerve?
TUWABVBs last blog post..I Don’t Care What Your Politics Are…
That is hilarious! I can’t wait to see what your signs are next year!
Jodis last blog post..Where were you?
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.
Marias last blog post..he’s real
You are aware that you’re totally insane, and the proof thereof is feeding the fires of my love for you? It’s true.
Mr Ladys last blog post..007, With Carseats
THAT is AWESOME. that is so hilarious, i don’t even have words for it. i don’t even know who corso is. i don’t follow football. oh man. that’s hilarious.
Ms. Changes Pants While Drivings last blog post..oh my angst! will you share yours?
I wish I had seen that because I would have known it was you. I’m usually all up in College Gameday but my brain has left thanks to the stitches in my foot. Next time they come to town maybe we can rock Gameday together!
Headless Moms last blog post..Just Curious-Parenting Tip
We really need to live by each other.
That is so funny! I love the bike sign!
Caras last blog post..Forever
LOL! My husband and boys are die-hard USC fans. The football thing is lost on me–but watching for your signs might make the games more bearable now!
Jennifers last blog post..Anatomy of a Bacon Breakdown
OMG, that is hilarious. I wish I would think of something like that. I have no imagination. I want to know what the other one said
Since I live on the other side of the country we are huge Auburn fans – but football rules in this house nonetheless! I am totally keeping an eye out for you this Fall!
Anna Maries last blog post..Jake the WonderDog
You are truly awesome.
Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Got Ink?
Man, I’m stayin’ out of your way!
Bonnies last blog post..Don’t mess with Texas!
I just found your blog and you are OUT OF CONTROL! I love it, and am never leaving!
Okay, I have to say that you win the prize for best signage ever! I am not a football fan but something tells me I will be watching the next time GameDay is filming in your area to look for your sign! You are a wild and crazy gal! (Remember – Steve Martin? Forget it, my attempt at humor is not funny).
Renée aka Mekhismoms last blog post..Do Something
I want to go with you to a football game.
haha, we think your sign was hilarious. You’re obviously a threat though…you rabble rouser.
What happened to freedom of speech and all that crap?! Sheesh!!
Rheas last blog post..Black Hockey Jesus
Rock on!! Awesome signs and loved that Flat Jackie! was there with you. Corso can suck it.
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..One day, a thousand feelings
I think you should go back to the first sign, but have Maddie hold it… I doubt anyone would take it from her! “Is Corso my daddy?”
Better yet, get her a shirt made up and hold her up as the sign?? LOL
Good grief, I am cracking up. I thought I was the only one in the world to do things like this… you have my ass beat, hands down!
Fiesty Charlies last blog post..Political Issues…. Top 5
OMG, that’s hilarious!
I’m a huge LSU fan, and we’re um…not USC fans to say the least, but I’m definitely a fan of the craziness that is Heather!
You are SUCH a trouble maker.
Is flat Jackie going to make an appearance tomorrow night? Because she should totally be there.
I am totally forgiving that you are an SC fan because you are a FUNNY SC fan.
Insta-Moms last blog post..Three for three
Heather,
I just emailed this fantastic post to Chris. My words were: “You’ve got to read this post from Heather. So her and so great! Makes me miss her a lot!”
We miss you!!! Come visit NY soon.
Leigh
By my estimation the score is :
Spohrs-7
Corso- Negative 2
He loses points for being a tit baby, and you gain extra points for awesomness.
Punk Rock Dads last blog post..Required Reading
Dude, one of your signs just made the “Top 20 Best ESPN Game Day Signs” I am totally not even shitting you check it here:
http://www.bustedcoverage.com/?p=7340
Punk Rock Dads last blog post..Required Reading
OK, we can’t agree on football teams (though I still hope our teams will meet in January, though maybe not in the National Championship anymore) but we can agree on this: Corso is evil and he must be destroyed.
Oh my God… that is TOO awesome! I’m laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face.
I know I don’t say it enough but you rock… please be my friend. lol
.-= LastGrlStanding´s last blog ..Too Much of a Good Thing =-.
That is one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a really long time! HAHAHA!
How did I miss this post? I love it! The Game Day crew is here (Alabama) often and I love the signs they do here. Love all the SEC signs, for that matter. Always entertaining. And no Bama fan has ever had much love for Corso.
Those signs are hilarious. I am totally staying on your good side!
P.S. I totally think you need a printable Flat Jackie…and of course a Flat Annabel, too. My five year old would take her everywhere!
I, too, am a college football maniac, and I have a strong distaste for Corso. But it wasn’t always that way. Back in 1999, he messed with my Gators ON OUR TURF right outside Ben Hill Griffin and my love for old man was DONE. I’m teary-eyed at the thought of your sign making that old bat squirm, and I’m so proud to say that I read the blog of someone claiming Corso stole their bike. That is brilliant. I desperately want to like him, but I attended UF man…I can’t go back now…
Tricia´s last [type] ..The impact of a nonexistent fall
That. Is. Hilarious!!!!! I can’t believe they took your sign and threatened you with legal action, ridiculous.
Lisa´s last [type] ..Up to Her Neck in “Guys”
Heather – you are freaking hilarious!!!!!!! You crack me up!
Your “baby daddy” sign – awesome! I love how you fought back too and wouldn’t just hand your sign over the first time. I tend to completely cower to any sort of authority so I am sure I would have crumbled. I love that you did not give up right away.
The “Stole my Bike” sign is genius.
Love what you wrote about how in 2007 Corso must have breathed a sigh of relief.
You have so many fantastic stories! thank you for sharing them, and the laughs, with us!
Leigh
your next sign needs to say: “corso is my baby daddy AGAIN!”
that would be amazing
xoxo
LOL that was YOUR sign? I love it. I was watching gameday and saw your sign and I didnt get it….now of course I do! Too funny!
trinity´s last [type] ..2 months and one week already
THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS.
edenland´s last [type] ..A few good blogs, and the winner of my $2 LA Ink yellow plastic blessed rosary beads.
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