Bruised

May 23, 2012

My physical recovery from the D&C has been alright. I feel like I’ve been in a wrestling match or a fist fight, just sore all over. The fluctuating hormones have given me bad headaches, and my lungs have only just recovered from the anesthesia. The bruises and puncture wounds from my Lovenox shots are taking forever [...]

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Broken

May 22, 2012

I’ve had friends (too many friends) have miscarriages. I was just a wreck for them. So sad, so devastated. I hate thinking about them being heartbroken. I’ve cried for them and their families and their babies. But now that it’s happened to me, I have…no emotion. No crying, no sorrow. Just emptiness. Everyone has been [...]

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Inevitable

May 21, 2012

I think part of me always knew this wasn’t going to happen. Everything felt different than with the first two. My breasts weren’t tender, my skin was bad, my nausea wasn’t as severe. “Maybe it’s a boy!” My family said helpfully, hopefully. Maybe. But I knew something was off. We saw Dr. Hirisk for an [...]

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A Long Day

May 18, 2012

Hi Everyone, Heather had her D&C today, and, as her OB told me in the waiting room after the surgery was finished, all went well. “All went well,” of course, is a relative term in this circumstance, as she was talking about removing what Heather and I hoped was going to be our sweet little [...]

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Next Steps

May 17, 2012

I saw my perinatologist today. It’s not Dr. Risky – unfortunately, UCLA and Blue Shield have not worked out their differences. So I have a new peri who shall now be known as Dr. Hirisk. He is great, we really like him. He and an ultrasound tech confirmed what my OB saw yesterday. It’s called [...]

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Nothing

May 16, 2012

I’ve had today circled on my calendar for a couple months. I woke up this morning so excited. I was going to see my baby, and tell everyone that we were expecting again. But there was no heartbeat. The growth stopped a week and a half ago. I don’t feel anything. I thought writing it [...]

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