I have reached the part of pregnancy where everything is hard. Walking, breathing, sitting, laying down, sleeping. I’d like to think that maybe floating in a pool would be easy, but then I’d have to take out a loan to buy enough sunscreen to cover my giant belly. Not to mention the effort involved in slathering said belly…ugh, I need a nap.
I leave the house occasionally, but when I’m at home I look like this:
A look I copped from Madeline:
She had the one eye open thing down.
At my appointment with Dr. Risky on Tuesday, she looked at me sitting on a bench in triage and said, “well you are certainly looking VERY pregnant.” Uh, YEAH. I had an uneventful exam – which was pants-off, and we’ll leave it at that – and then Dr. Risky answered some questions we had. Well, questions Mike had. I sat there, screwed up all my courage, and then asked, “so…uh…how do you close up c-sections?” She looked and me and asked me what I meant, and I said, “well, last time I had glue….”
And then she said, “OH. I use STAPLES.” And the word echoed and bounced around the room and things got blurry.
Mike looked at me and I swear I started to hyperventilate, and THEN she said, “sometimes the glue is better because it stretches with your body a little more than staples do.” I seriously don’t know how I didn’t fall off the table. STAPLES! OMG! Way to sell it Doctor Risky!!!
It will take me a month to mentally prepare.
Since I was twenty-one weeks pregnant Mike has taken a weekly iPhone photo of my belly after every doctor visit. It’s been a good reminder that I haven’t always been this gigantic:
I was just cruising along with my little belly, and then WHAM – GIANT BELLY.
If I really want to feel good about myself, I should take a weekly POST-BABY belly photo.