Thank you all for your supportive words yesterday. I’m still kind of reeling from it all. As of writing this, I am now 37 weeks, the most pregnant I’ve ever been. It was also the most pregnant I was ever supposed to be, so I’m having a hard time mentally readjusting.
I was only able to speak with Dr. Risky’s nurse yesterday. Dr. Risky pretty much never talks on the phone anyway, but she was also apparently like, delivering babies or something. I dunno, excuses excuses. It was a game of telephone: I’d ask Risky Nurse a question, she’d tell me she didn’t know and she’d have to ask Dr. Risky, and then she’d call me back. Frustrating, to be sure.
It’s too late for steroids to be effective. Dr. Risky wants me back on the blood thinners until Tuesday, which I have very mixed feelings about. I asked about switching to Heparin, which has a shorter life, and Risky Nurse said no. When I asked WHY, she said, “It has some bad side effects for you, but I’ll ask Dr. Risky.” That question has still not been answered, which…Unhappy City.
There were three tests done with the amniotic fluid (L/S ratio, PG, DSL), one of them had a good result (I believe the PG), so Dr. Risky doesn’t want to repeat the amnio. Which is good, because I was going to say “No way, Jose,” to that one. The current plan is for me to come in for monitoring tomorrow/Friday, and then on Tuesday (after the long weekend, because of course it’s a long weekend!) Dr. Risky will hopefully reschedule my c-section. And by hopefully, I mean she will because I will go nuts if I don’t have a goal date.
I am not worried about The Acrobat if I were to go into labor – Annabel was born at 36 weeks 5 days, and her lungs were perfect. I know that the lung maturity tests err on the side of extreme caution, so I think it’s promising that one of the tests had a favorable result, especially considering boys mature about a week slower than girls. However, I’m still extremely worried about the other risks, and now I’m scared I’ll have to be under general anesthesia for the delivery.
I’m just exhausted by the whole thing, honestly. Emotionally and physically. My contractions kicked up after the amnio, so that’s keeping me on edge, and it’s been hard explaining to Annabel, “Actually, it will be more than two sleeps until you meet your brother.” “But why, Mama?!” “Because that’s life, kid.”
Also, I noticed this with my maternity clothes now:
Yeah, that’s my belly hanging out of the bottom of my shirt. Maybe that’s a result of this:
Just when I thought I couldn’t get any bigger.
At this point, I don’t know if I want “keep the baby in” vibes or “go into labor” vibes…but I will definitely accept “don’t lose your mind, Heather” vibes, so thank you to everyone who’s been sending them. We will of course keep you posted if anything happens over the weekend.
I’m giving away $150 to Tea Collection, be sure to enter!
Jess says:
Sending “Don’t lose your mind, Heather” vibes to you and “I completely understand, Mama” vibes to Annie!
Shelli from Oz says:
Sending”don’t lose your mind vibes” your way from Australia ????
Mar says:
Well at least you have a little more time to work on his room. Unless its done already in which case I guess it gives Mike more time to finish nesting. You can do this Heather, all your Internet friends, real life friends and your family are there for you.
Jenn says:
Hi Sweetie!
Maybe you should keep the tea – isn’t it suppose to calm you? I’m so very sorry for your worry – this SUCKS!! Everything will be Okay Heather…I KNOW it will!!! The good news is you can always go to the ER & they’ll decide what to do from there. Just keep breathing and we – your peoples will keep sending you the “DO What’s Best For YOU & BABY BOY” vibe until we hear from you next. I know you’re scared Honey but I truly believe Dr. Risky would only do what’s best for you & your son.
Thinking of & Praying for you and your baby son.
With Friendship & Love!!!
Jenn xoxo
Lilian says:
Oh go ahead and lose your mind temporarily! Insanity can be a comforting release from the madness of life. In fact, I’ve always had this theory that my definition of crazy, is actually sanity, and that my definition of sanity, is actually crazy! I know that probably none of this rambling makes sense (to anyone but me, and those that know me well), but I figured it might distract you from the reality you are experiencing at this moment. Hang in there Heather. Looking forward to updates!
Maddie says:
Hello lovely,
Our son was born at exactly 37 weeks, by emergency c-section. His lungs were and are fine. Granted I had a smoother pregnancy than you have, but I had vasa previa, (a blood vessel lying over my cervix) which meant he had to come out as soon as it was diagnosed. It was only found as he’d been breech the whole time, so they gave me an extra scan to make sure he didn’t have room to turn back again. They cleared theatre for me, and boy was it a rush, but had his head engaged, it would have killed both of us.
Please try to ride these last few days out in a beautiful, pregnant (very pregnant, 50″ is just showing off) haze. You’ve acknowledged you’re not going to be pregnant again, and I know it’s been hellish for you, but please covet and homage your bump while you can. He’ll be here when he’s ready, either by Dr Risky deciding he’s ready, or when he and your body goes ‘enough already, we’re outta here!’
We are all here cheering you all on, ride it out, tough it out, you are all so close, don’t waste these last few days worrying. Easier said than done for us on the outside, I know. But please try.
With much love,
Mads xx
kristin says:
I loved this story 🙂
defendUSA says:
Story Time! I did not have the potential complications of having to take a blood thinner but…each baby came earlier and earlier. The last baby, a boy, was born at 36 weeks and four days. He weighed 7lbs. (I’m 4’11). The docs had given me an epidural but it only dulled the pain on one side. When he was born, less than 4 hours after my going into labor, apparently they said he was like a crack baby sucking up my pain meds and they gave him a shot of Narcan (drug that reverses effects of cocaine!) because he was “having trouble” breathing. My little bunny went under the O2 tent and I was good with it because whatever they had to do…I bled Like a stuck pig and they gave me some drug that is also used for cancer patients I think…to get my uterus to contract. It worked. But the best part…He was born on Christmas Eve morning and I still made it home to my other three in time for Christmas Presents, dinner and everything.
So, while anesthesia may suck balls (I also get very sick from the side effects) A woman’s body can take a shitload in pregnancy and you are gonna come out on the other side with one excited big Sister, fist-bumping Dada and all the relief and love you can handle. I like to say there is an upside in every.single.life.event. Sometimes though, you must look extra hard. It’s there, and I guarantee you, it ain’t the worry wart stone!! 🙂
traci says:
Sit back and try not to go crazy – both my boys were born at 37 weeks with no problems (and one of them was 8 lbs 12 oz)
Can you imagine going 2 weeks past your due date? Neither can I so keep that in mind you could technically be pregnant for 5 more weeks. AAAAAHHHHHH
Hope that made you smile.
Annalisa says:
First of all, understand that your frustration is very common. In “normal” pregnancies this happens all the time to women who go over 40 weeks, and are told to “wait it out a few days”. They’re just as miserable as you feel, because a due date creates an idea in your head about the end-game being in sight, and when you’re that heavily pregnant (which 36 weeks or more, that’s heavily pregnant …), you need it for your sanity. So yeah, loss of sanity, totally understandable. Expected, even.
Secondly, Friday is around the corner… You might go in expecting to be told to come back Tuesday, only to find out the Acrobat needs to come out this weekend. Like many other babies, he’ll get here when he’s ready. And just so you know this is not hot air, I had that happen to me. C-section scheduled at 40 weeks, failed a routine exam 2 days early, was told to go immediately to the hospital for an emergency induction (lesson learned: keep the hospital bag in the car once it’s packed), and then spent the next 36 hours waiting for a baby who would not be rushed, and having the c-section after all. The day she was due. She just wouldn’t come earlier, and I swear she came out roaring “what do you mean ‘everybody out!’? *I* wasn’t ready!” in baby cries. Boy was she making with the angry crying that first hour… But even with all the diabetes concerns, she was just fine.
I bet the Acrobat is just being the same way, hanging in there stubbornly, trying to call the shots. He’ll be fine. Poor you, on the other hand, will probably be thinking “it’s about damn time you showed up!” when they put him in your arms. I very nearly said it to my newly born kiddo. 😉
TamaraL says:
Hang in there, Heather! I have to say, you make me feel so lucky (and somewhat ignorant) that my pregnancies were uneventful. I never thought about any of the stuff that you have had to. Just keep your eyes on the prize! Will be thinking of you…
J in Eire says:
Keep hanging in there Heather, these days are so tough in so many ways for you and the sheer exhaustion of end of pregnancy just doesn’t help the situation. Thinking of you and your beautiful family and sending lots of ‘don’t lose your mind’ vibes from Ireland. I hope time moves swiftly and brings the days you have waited for, a long summer with your son in your arms.
Kris says:
I posted yesterday about how my first two kids were born a month early and how my third needed to be ejected about 2 weeks past when we thought he would be here. I understand the fear/worry when you become more pregnant than you ever have been before AND there are risks due to your medical background (I’m type 1 diabetic and of advanced maternal age). It also has to be extremely frustrating not to be able to just speak to Dr. Risky on the phone directly…who wants to be playing phone tag right now??
Hang in, there. You have done such a great job and it really is the home stretch. You are in good hands, because it is obvious that you do trust Dr. Risky, even though the situation right now is not what you expected. I am hoping that by Tuesday, you’ve already been on here, showing off great photos of Annie holding Acrobat, or whatever you decide his name will be. 🙂
Auntie_M says:
I’m going with those who said “hold the faith–maybe he’ll come Friday!” as well as sending you calming-don’t-lose-your-mind-yet vibes (plenty of time to lose your mind when you’re juggling a toddler and a baby!)
Maybe to take your mind off of this / ease your mind, the 3 of you should pack more than a pregnancy bag and go find a nice hotel near the beach for a few days (it’s that peskythe long wkend after all!) as long as that hotel puts you closer to (not farther away from) the hospital!
Sending you all my hope, best wishes, and love.
Auntie_M says:
Ugh! *pesky*….where did that “the” come from?!?
Auntie_M says:
PS-I think your belly–all 50 marvelous inches of it–is beautiful!
Maybe you should buy some of that belly paint and you & Annie could have a mommy&me belly-paintathon?
Sara says:
Thinking of you Heather, and can’t wait to read the post where you talk about holding your son for the first time!
Johanna says:
Sending many “don’t lose your mind” vibes from Minnesota!
Johanna says:
And I agree with Sara… Can’t wait for the blog update once the acrobat is born.
Maris says:
“Don’t lose your mind, heather” vibes from NYC
kim hartman says:
hang on tight to your mind, Sister. I cannot wait to sign on over the weekend and see a picture of you, Mike, Annabel, and the anxiously awaited Acrobat. Happy Baby Having Weekend! Love and Hugs to you all, and special heaven hugs for Maddie <3
Lisa says:
OH BOY! So boys grow slower even in the belly? That explains alot of things. 🙂 Hang in there. Sending happy thoughts and lots of rest for you!
Kim says:
I realize I did not have the other complications/concerns you are dealing with, but I did want to share a success story if it could help you at all.
My son was born at 35 weeks…completely unexpectedly.
He spent 5 days in the NICU. Needed the cpap (?) at first, but graduated pretty quick to just a nasal cannula. He came home the day after I was discharged. He is now 13 months and perfectly healthy. He actually got through his first year with fewer colds, etc. than his big sister did.
You, Mike, Annie, and of course the Acrobat are in my thoughts! Hang in there!
Lanie says:
Sending loads of “don’t lose your mind, Heather” vibes along with hope and hugs. xo
Sarah says:
Don’t lose your mind and stay strong Heather vibes, it’s worth the wait Annie vibes, and be b healthy and strong Acrobat vibes from Colorado.
Also, if it’s any comfort to you, I – ahem – grew out of my maternity clothes in the same way with my last pregnancy (third) at *31* weeks. Your looking great!!
Lisa says:
Hang in there sweetie. Sending loads of positive thoughts your way.
Lesley says:
Sending lots and lots of happy, calm vibes to you, Mike, Annie, and the rest of your family. And lots of lung-maturity vibes to The Acrobat! Here’s to hoping that these extra couple days inside will let your little boy come out perfect in every way! I forget – do you folks have a name picked out yet? Perhaps the right one is waiting for you this weekend!
Michelle H. says:
Sending lots of happy, keep calm vibes your way! Thinking of your family and praying for a safe, wonderful delivery for you and your baby boy.
Chantelle says:
Sending Good Vibes your way! =)
Melinda says:
Sending all manner of good vibes your way. <3
Molly says:
Here’s some “don’t lose your cool, Heather” vibes coming your way! You and The Acrobat are in good hands.
Karen says:
So so many good vibes your way, Heather! The waiting at the end of pregnancy is SO HARD, even in an uneventful, 40 week pregnancy – I can’t even comprehend how stressful it must be with the additional complications and completely reasonable fears that this situation adds! You have shown amazing patience and bravery already, and if you want to curl up with Annabel and have a Disney movie marathon for the next few days… well, it is probably what I would do. Big hugs from Oregon.
nicole says:
Sending lots of don’t lose your mind vibes!
ColleenMN says:
Think of it as good news….if the doc is making you wait, that means everything is great and under control. If there was any danger to you or the acrobat, they would do the section sooner, not later. So later means healthy and healthy is good. Both of mine came early so I can’t imagine going to the due date. In fact, my daughter was breech so they flipped her a month before. I was monitored all day in the area where moms were in labor. I went home in the evening bummed because I never had my baby and the others did (even though I was a month away from my due date). Later is better and that means you are doing well!
jacky says:
oh its the worst to have to wait extra. When rolling over in bed is an event…… But try to enjoy…. (i know an oxymoron at this point)
Sending you don’t go nuts Heather vibes and be patient Annie vibes…. He’ll get here and this will all seem so far away and long ago in the not too distance future…. I promise!!
Hugs,
Jacky
miriam says:
Sending “hang in there” vibes, just imagine a picture of kitten hanging upside down. You know the poster, you know you had one 🙂
Rachel says:
Hang in there, Heather! Once you see your baby boy, the wait will SO be worth it! Everything will work out great, and I’m sending positive thoughts your way!
Tiffany Burrow Sanders says:
Praying for you all! I hope everything goes smoothly for you and baby boy.
Steph says:
You must feel so discombobulated (sp?) with this turn of events. Wishing you peace, rest, and “hang in there” vibes.
Brooke says:
You’re so close, just hang in there! Can’t wait to meet the little guy! I remember waiting for Annabel with y’all 3 years ago…my how time flies. Thinking of all of you.
Cheryl says:
Hang in there, my son was born at 40 1/2 weeks and they ended up knocking me out for it. If that happens to you, the most important thing to remember is that the baby is okay and nothing else matters. I spent too much time feeling horrible that I had “missed” his birth when the most important thing was I had a healthy 10lb baby boy.
Lynnette says:
“Don’t lose your mind, Heather” vibes from Portland, OR.
Melissa says:
Wow. Sounds like a frustrating situation, but don’t “lose your mind” yet! Your almost there! Sending good vibes 🙂
kristin says:
I tried to post a comment yesterday but I think I got kicked. Anyways- my son was born at 37 weeks 3 days and I never once heard any thing from anyone regarding concerns about his lungs. But then again I went into labor naturally and wasn’t having a c-section and didn’t have any other underlying problems. Even though they never said anything in my presence, there were 2 NICU interns and a NICU nurse present for my delivery besides my own OB (who’s also a pedi) and two nurses. So I guess I was covered either way. He was fine, they threatened to take him up once or twice but he powered through and is now an obnoxious, adorable, lovable 3 year old. Good Luck!
Marin D says:
The amnio is very hard. I didn’t really have an issue with the procedure itself. It was definitely a weird thing to go through but so it most of pregnancy. My short amnio came back immature so they sent it for the long tests. I ended up bleeding as I left the doctor so they induced me which led to my c-section anyway. The long test came back immature also but I was already mid-induction. My girl was fine in the end. I was lucky enough to get the steroid shots at 32 weeks. She came home with me after a few days.
My second baby made it to the end of 36 weeks (on the perinate’s calendar and 37 to my ob’s calendar). No steroid. No amnio but had to deliver because of other problems. And she ended up in the NICU.
The point of my story? Not to freak you out but to say, who heck knows? We have no idea how things are ever going to work out. This is why we stopped at two kids. It makes me sad and I am envious of those who have lovely pregnancies. I was always pessimistic (and still am). It drives my husband crazy. I told him the other day, then that way if it works out, I am pleasantly surprised.
On that note, I am sorry you are going through this. I hope your delivery goes well and you get to bring your beautiful baby home right away.
KaraB says:
Don’t lose your mind Heather! You’re in the home stretch! (that was not a crack about the belly, honestly)
Paula says:
Heather – I’m going to give you “DON’T KILL ANYONE!!!” vibes because I think you might need them. 😉 This is the hardest part – the waiting and waiting. I hated it! I think it’s GREAT that you are experiencing it even if you hate it. 🙂
I hope you have a great weekend and whatever happens…well, happens. 😀
Jeanie says:
Please try not to worry, and don’t lose your mind!! All this will be over before you know it. Can’t wait to meet the Acrobat.
Gwensarah says:
Regarding general anesthesia for the delivery. I had both my c-sections that way (the first one was emergency, I had been in a complicated labor for 30 hours, the OB was not my doctor and it just seemed easier for all parties, my second one while unexpected at 35 weeks due to pre-eclampsia I was supposed to be awake but there were problems with the epidural, I was so disappointed since I had been put under with my son) and while it was not the best feeling in the world for me, both babies were born perfectly healthy. It’s not the ideal way to deliver because obviously, you want to be present for the moment, but it’s not anything to really fear either.
Patsy says:
Ah babies. I had 5 and they were all an adventure. When looking at your bump it reminded me of clothes back in the day. My pg sister had a skirt that had a half moon cut out for the belly. It had an elastic strap coming up from the bottom of the moon with a loop on the end and then ties on each side for growth. lol Showing you were pg when i had kids was a no-no. I had a daughter who was 10 days over and I wore a tent! You shall endure and be blessed with a fantastic son.
Antonia from the UK says:
You’ve been in my thoughts all day. I am constantly moved by how much you have gone through to have your beautiful children. You are truly inspirational. The Acrobat’s going to be just fine and will be on the outside trying your patience (and Annie’s) in a million ingenious ways before long.
Christina says:
I must be the only one who noticed the pillow behind you on your green rocker, it looks like a name?!? I can’t wait for you to have this baby and we get to know his wonderful name! Tuesday will be here before you know it, enjoy the last few days an know that you are enduring them for your son! Stay strong!
Heather says:
Oh, no, it is a boarding pass pillow to go with his travel nursery! http://www.landofnod.com/boarding-pass-throw-pillow/f9790
Karen bennett says:
I was just about to comment about the pillow too…
Heather says:
It’s this pillow: http://www.landofnod.com/boarding-pass-throw-pillow/f9790 No name!
ella says:
I know this is the last thing you care about right now….. but you totally pull of being pregnant and look super hot
Nat says:
Sending you “world’s easiest awake c/s” vibes.
If you feel like you want more info ( some of us like to bury our heads in the sand), check out the “lovely lovenox ladies” group on babycenter. The girls there are chock full of info about everything pregnancy and blood thinners and clotting issues.
Heather says:
oh, I will! Thanks for the tip. Is it easy to find? I am officially back on Lovenox and while my L&D nurse friend and the OB chief resident I saw today did a lot to calm my fears, I still have some.
Nat says:
Here you go…it was a huge source of info for me during my last pregnancy and probably one of the reasons I was able to go through it mentally intact (mostly): http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a241035/lovely_lovenox_ladies
Again, wishing you a healthy, safe, wonderful delivery.
Heather says:
thank you so much!
Sacha says:
Dear Heather and family, just writing to let you know you are in my thoughts, here in cold Holland on the other side of the ocean 😉 Wishing you the best!
Catherine says:
Sending all my “don’t lose your mind” vibes! xoxo Don’t even know how I found your blog, but I’ve been reading and laughing and crying with you guys for years. So – wishing you all the best, of course. Hang in there. -a reader in Florida
Bobbi K/ says:
Sending you just straight positive vibes:) Also, had to laugh – the ad under your post today was “Styles for your Bump” by, I think, Zulily. LOL
Amelia says:
Sending so much love.
Amanda says:
Sending you just good vibes all around!
Meg says:
Sending lots of good thoughts your way! Whatever happens, I hope you guys have a great holiday weekend.