A lot of you saw my picture from yesterday and commented on my lack of stretch marks. And it’s true, I don’t have any. I even forced Mike to make sure I don’t have any that I can’t see (and there is a lot I can’t see) and he confirmed that there are none. I didn’t get any with Madeline, either. I was worried that maybe this time would be different since I’ve carried Binky so much longer than Madeline, but I think it’s safe to say at this point that I’m going to emerge from this pregnancy stretch-mark free. And yeah…it’s awesome.

It helps a lot that I have good genes. My mom carried my brother and me to 42 weeks. FORTY TWO WEEKS WITH TWINS! We weighed in at six pounds 11 ounces and six pounds 14 ounces, and my mom didn’t have a single stretch mark. You can’t even hate her because FORTY TWO WEEKS WITH TWINS OMG.

There are a lot of other factors involved for me. Even though I’m only five foot three inches tall, I have a long torso for someone of my height. That gives the baby a little more room. I also grew straight out, then when I hit 49 1/2 inches around my stomach started growing up and down. Very uncomfortable for my body, but much easier on my skin.

I also have this most likely inaccurate theory that the shots I give myself every day help. My idea is that I have to pinch the skin on my stomach every day looking for a place to plunge the needle, and somehow that has helped stretch my skin gradually. Like I said, it’s probably inaccurate, but I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the internet! Plus I know that if you google something enough you’ll find an answer that supports any theory.

Of course, there is one other big factor behind my smooth skin – food and I have a bad relationship when I’m pregnant. Believe you me, when you throw up a bazillion times a day and the only meal plan you’re allowed to eat is the same one Jennifer Aniston follows, you’re not going to gain a lot of weight. Or, really, any weight at all. I really cannot wait to not to think so much about food. It will be glorious.

So, in conclusion – have good genes, grow a long torso, make sure the baby grows up and down, give yourself blood thinning shots every day, barf your brains out, and eat like a bird!

When I put it that way, stretch marks don’t seem so bad, do they? Hee hee.