Thank you all so much for your suggestions and commiserating. Dr. Risky is DEFINITELY the type of doctor that would just DO an ultrasound if she was worried. I think she felt OK with skipping one this week since I’d just had one with Dr. No-Vowels five days before. She IS going to work with my insurance on this, and I am definitely willing to compromise on things. If Dr. Risky thinks I can go every other week without an ultrasound then I will, since I trust her and feel very safe in her hands. For the odd weeks I will use the handy Doppler that my friend Nanette is lending me (thank you to EVERYONE that offered to lend me theirs!). I’ll spend the rest of this week on the phone with Dr. Risky’s billing department and my insurance company making this work. My insurance company is VERY familiar with me. And possibly a little scared of me as well.
Also, I have to say that I am FLOORED by the idea of some of you donating money to a sort of “ultrasound” fund but that is ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NOT necessary! You all have already done enough for my family and I just cannot accept another thing. Not to mention that I am determined to make this work with the insurance that I have already. If you DO want to donate to something though, might I suggest a very worth charity? You would be helping families in dire need.
Really, though – all of you are the best.
A few of you commented on something that has bothered me a lot, and something that proves that health care reform needs to happen on all sides – the cost of ultrasounds. It is ridiculous what hospitals and health care providers charge insurance companies. I get in-depth statements of my monthly activity and it blows my mind. Some of Madeline’s medicines cost three times as much when she was in-patient as opposed to out-patient. I haven’t inquired how much my ultrasounds would cost if I paid for them on my own, but I am CERTAIN it wouldn’t be $1500. I doubt it would even be a fifth as much.The whole thing makes me shake my head.
I went to a funeral yesterday for my best friend Tara’s grandmother. Our grandmas were buddies who would occasionally go to church together, and I loved her very much. I have many wonderful memories of going up to Tara’s house on Christmas evening. Tara’s entire family would be jammed into the house (seven siblings with their spouses and sixteen grandchildren can make even the biggest home seem small), and by the point in the evening I’d get there they’d all be listening to Tara’s grandpa as he played the piano and sang Christmas carols. Tara’s Grandpa was a fun and boisterous man who was always at the center of things, but I remember her grandma on Christmas always sitting back, looking around with pride and love at her beautiful family.
My mom and I sat at the back of the church for the lovely service. I learned that Nana Mary had two older siblings that passed away before she was born. As I did my best to stay composed (and I failed), I looked around at the beautiful Catholic church. The stained glass windows were gorgeous, and I wished I’d brought my camera to capture the way the light was shining through them during the service. My eyes settled on the scene directly above me. It was Jesus surrounded by children, and below it was this panel:
luckily I had my camera phone
I stared at that glass for a long time. I thought about Elisabeth. I wondered about her parents. I heard the priest say blessed are those who grieve, even if they don’t feel blessed. I was glad when the service was over, and I could hug Tara and her family.
Haley says:
I agree with what the priest said…grieving is good even when it hurts.
I think that because at least when we grieve we can think of the person we’ve lots and hold onto to happy memories as best we can.
((HUGS))
Prayers for your family as always!
.-= Haley´s last blog ..Food for thought: Las Vegas Style =-.
Sara @heartmychloe says:
once again, beautiful post.
i think you know that the collective “we” would do anything for you if it would help….even for just a minute.
hugs and love
.-= Sara @heartmychloe´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday : the faces of C lo =-.
catherine lucas says:
If only grieving would not be such hard work… tedious and crippling at times. sigh.
.-= catherine lucas´s last blog ..Ferrets and Pink rabbit ears… =-.
Erica says:
Dear sweet Heather,
What another beautiful post and such a beautiful photo of the stain glass window. I look at the purple lavender in my garden every morning and I think about your precious Madeline and you and Mike, her amazing parents. I shed tears for you every day, sometimes silent tears, sometimes my tears are not so silent. O dear sweet Heather, you are such a strong and courageous lady with such grace. Your fan club is so full these days with members all over the world.
Good luck with chasing your insurance company, if anyone can do it, you can. And you know that all your supporters are right here behind you, supporting you in any way they can.
Hopefully listening to Binky Bean on the Doppler will put your mind to rest in between the ultrasounds.
Wishing you a peaceful day.
With love
your friend, Erica in Luxembourg
Kelly says:
We had to pay $50 Australian per visit for an ultrasound outside of medically required ones. They were not covered by insurance, so we paid the lot. We did this once.
There are also companies who provide “vanity sessions” on the 4D scanning machines, so not even remotely medical, no insurance. 1hr of scans, a DVD of images AND video, a coffee cup, picture frame and two almost foolscap sized photo prints, for this we paid $180. There were cheaper options such as 15 minute scan, no cd/DVD and only a small print out from $50
I’m still so sorry that they made you feel so bad.
I’m also sorry that your friend lost an obviously loved and loving grandmother. And sorry for those who lost Elisabeth. Those who grieve may be blessed, but I don’t think it makes it any easier.
Love and hugs to you and yours. As always
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Nomnomnom =-.
Krissa says:
I’m thinking of your friend now during this difficult time of her grandmother’s passing. It’s good you were able to be there for the service. Sounds like your families are one big family. … I am glad to read that things are going to be ok with your ultrasounds – and again, I really like Dr. Risky. There are some truly great people in the medical profession. Sadly, as far as the charges billed to insurance, it is (from what I have read and firsthand experience) a matter of drug companies, insurance companies and the medical profession in a kind of partnership and there are too many cases where hard working people are put in dire circumstances through this partnership and no fault of their own. That said, I know that there are many times that it works out for the best for patients….just too many times it does not in my opinion. And I’ll leave it at that. You are in good hands and that is wonderful! And your insurance company should be scared of you – look at the Army you have behind you if they don’t do right by you! … The picture is pretty, thanks for sharing. (((Hugs))).
dysfunctional mom says:
What a beautiful picture, and post. Good luck with the ultrasounds.
.-= dysfunctional mom´s last blog ..Piggy Paint Giveaway! =-.
Kate in NZ says:
Grief is terrible, as I certainly don’t have to tell you. But company in grief – the right sort of company, the loving, understanding, walking-alongside sort – can be a great blessing indeed. I am sure your company was a great comfort to Tara and her family, and I hope that the company you receive is likewise some comfort to you. Hugs, as always.
.-= Kate in NZ´s last blog ..To swallow one might be regarded as a misfortune… =-.
ali (adil320) says:
What a beautiful picture. You ARE blessed to have had a spirit as beautiful as Maddie’s is in your life, even if it was for too short a time. I will soon be working with the doors to our Level III NICU to my right, and you can be sure Maddie and FOM will never be far from my mind.
Is it fall yet?
xoxoxo
.-= ali (adil320)´s last blog ..It was as bad as I imagined =-.
Amanda says:
Heather
What a wonder friend you are for Tara. I’ll be thinking of Elizabeth today and of her family. I bet when that glass was put there (no doubt with the thoughts of keeping Elizabeth’s memory alive) her family had no idea that someday so many from so far away would be stopping and taking a minute to think and wonder about their family. I say this because it’s said that for as long as people remember you are never truly gone. Missed terribly. But not gone.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Drama Mama??? =-.
Barb Howard says:
Yesterday was too busy to allow me time to comment on your post, but I spent time thinking about it, and it made me so sad. I also have a “pre-existing condition” that precludes my getting individual health insurance. Last night I heard our state’s attorney general talking to a radio interviewer and saying that our state already has a state sponsored plan for the uninsured, and what a bad thing it would be for the national plan to come in and usurp it. Well, I need to let him know that because I am very middle middle class, I don’t qualify for that plan. I qualify for NOTHING, because I am actually sick. My only option (until, thankfully, being declared “disabled” by the social security administration) was to self-pay. I am fortunate that my dear deceased husband left me enough money to afford such a luxury. What about all the others like me who don’t qualify for disability? And didn’t have a forward-thinking, loving husband who could put money aside for them?
You’re so right. We NEED health care insurance in this country, and the sooner the better. We are not such a morally bankrupt nation that we choose to keep the current system which really protects NO ONE who actually needs it, and ignores anyone who doesn’t “qualify” for financial or health reasons.
Thank you, Heather, for sharing so much of your experience of this life. Yours has become a blessing to all of us who follow it, and a beautiful tribute to your precious daughter. I’m excited to learn who the new person in your life is. Hang in there, girl, and keep on keepin’ on.
QF says:
Barb,
I agree with you 100%. I do not make enough money to afford health insurance yet I make too much to receive help from the state.
I have not been insured since I moved to the United States 16 years ago. Just couldn’t afford it so I pay cash when I need to see a doctor. I am scared to see what would happen should I come across a “pre-existing” condition.
Barb, it is so horrible that you cannot get insurance!
Marti from Michigan says:
I can’t get insurance either……in Michigan you have to have dependent children at home to qualify for Medicaid, and I do not. I have not had health insurance for 3 years. I do have a pre-existing condition – type 2 diabetes. Plus I have very painful cysts in my left breast that were removed once, but that was ages ago when I had insurance.
In about 4 or 5 years, I will qualify for Medicare, and if it isn’t bankrupt by then, I will have insurance finally at that time.
Yes, I agree with Pres. Obama – we DO need healthcare reform in this country!
Karen says:
Heather, I’m glad that in such sadness and grief you can find some beauty. I think that light shining in was Maddie, shining down on you, sharing with you her joy.
Hugs!
.-= Karen´s last blog ..The Loch Ness Monster =-.
Susan (woo222) says:
I was talking to my fiancee this morning about your ultrasound situation and how much healthcare reforms could help. There should never, ever be a situation with someone with a preexisting condition cannot get the ultrasound she needs.
The stained glass is beautiful. Yet another poignant post. I think it is so wise and so wonderful that despite the heavy, overwhelming gray fog of grief, you look for the beautiful and the brightly colored parts of life. You should be very proud of yourself, I know Maddie is proud of you.
.-= Susan (woo222)´s last blog ..Sooner or Later =-.
Anna Marie Hinnant says:
Beautiful pic-even with a camera phone.
$1500 for an ultrasound is ridiculous. When I was pregnant with Emmie they offered me the “fun” 3D ultrasound that we could pay for out of pocket – $250.00. Thanks to PPROM and a 3 week stay in the hospital on bedrest I got all the ultrasounds I could stand, but yeah, if I was going to pay $250, why would an insurance company be billed $1500? Because the doctor knows they will only get a fraction of that? What kind of warped world is that?
Hugs to you and your friend Tara.
Julia says:
exactly. the insurance companies are billed at a significantly high rate, because by practice, they pay about 25% of what they are billed. If you bill 100 dollars, they pay your doctor 25 dollars. This is a policy for all private insurance companies. Medicare pays less, and Medicaid will usually pay for 1 visit. After that, the care you get from the doctor is essentially free, out of the doctors pocket.
Mollie says:
This is completely true. Doctors, hospitals, and providers are made out to be the bad guys in all of this. Some doctors ARE money hungry, but you have those of questionable ethics in ANY profession. They have to charge what they do because they know what the insurance company will pay. If they think a visit is “worth” $50 of their time, to get that $50 they have to charge $200. Additionally, they have to charge enough to cover the people who get health care but never pay their bills for reasons very justified and unjustified. Even with all of this overcharging, most hospitals and providers, ESPECIALLY rural hospitals, hospitals in low income areas, and primary care providers, have a hard time keeping their head above water.
Another problem is just the cost of a doctor to get there. I am a medical student and am very, VERY blessed to be the recipient of a scholarship that pays for my education. A friend, however, paying for out-of-state tuition at my state’s flagship medical school, will be $250k in debt just from medical school, plus debt from undergrad. She’ll make $40k or so during residency. Then she has to pay for her living expenses and possibly opening a practice. Without even trying she’ll be about $500k in debt. If you were in that much debt, how much would you need to make to not be scraping by the skin of your teeth? If she decides to go into primary care, she’ll be making the lowest of any of the M.D. fields. .
The whole system is messed up and we need reform, but please take it easy on the docs. They’re stuck between a rock and a hard place and just trying to do what they could. Also, remember–If you want to make oodles of money, there are a hundred much better ways to do it than to become a doctor, so give your physician the benefit of a doubt and don’t think they’re money-hungry.
jessica b says:
regaurding insurances and the cost of all healthcare, i do medical billing. most insurances pay on average of 1/3 the amount billed. however, if the provider is not participating with the insurance, they will pay close to 100% (except for medicare and medicaid who pay nothing to non-par providers). in truth, the reason that healthcare is so high is BECAUSE of insurance. providers charge a high rate because, if all providers work together to charge a higher rate, the insurance companies will raise the fee schedule that they pay from over time. it’s quite political really. every year most providers evaluate their fees to see if they should raise them. every year, Medicare adjusts their payment schedules. Most insurances follow what Medicare does, even if they don’t follow the exact schedule.
also, just so you know, you can appeal to your provider for discounts or even complete write off due to income level. most providers will adjust the amount considerably, sometimes completely depending on the circumstances.
Let me know if you have any questions about insurance in general. i can try to answer those for you.
lastly, i believe the preist was right. mourners are blessed, especially when they don’t feel that they are. i’m praying for you and mike, Maddie and Binky everyday.
jessica b says:
also, i forgot to mention, if the provider charges less, the insurnace companies tend to still pay at the same fee that they have implimented… which causes considerable hassle on the provider’s end. so that’s why they never reduce charges to insurance companies. that and they know that the carriers will pay more if they continue to raise the charges.
Christine says:
Hugs to you and your family, Heather. You’re a good friend.
AnnD says:
I’m hearing a lot of different things about how much asn U/S would cost out of pocket on here…it’s weird we have estimates from $1500 to $250 (much more affordable for people).
I had two friends who didn’t have U/S’s at all during their pregnancies because their insurance would not cover them at all. Period. Not even one. (I would go totally and completely nutso!) One of them said when she asked her doc how much one would cost out of pocket it was $700–they just couldn’t afford that. My sister-in-law had one paid for out of pocket at another facility 2 years before that and paid $300 for hers.
Not sure if it is the docs or not, but it sounds like some could be more helpful if they wanted to be…
Shannon Kieta says:
Heather…
You are so blessed to have so many people in your life that are so deeply about you. You have touched many lives. Maddie has touched many lives. Binky is already reaching out to us. I already love the little bugger.
PLEASE Don’t get me started on insurance issues! It upsets me to no end to talk about the problems this world has about insurance. My husband is a Physician Assisstant and I work in the Lab and we pay MORE for insurance than anyone. The neighbors don’t work at all and have the BEST insurance going!!! WTF????
As far as the ultrasound/sonograms. Don’t sweat it… you are doing great! You know your body, if you feel something out of the ordinary, get your bodonkadonk to the hospital and they will do an emergency one. Like you said; Dr. Risky will perform a “sneaky one” if necessary! I told you before sis, this pregnancy is going to be totally different. No preoblems, worry free. I still pray for you EVERY day …Luv Ya!!!
Kristen McD says:
I am so glad your mom is so close to you. And I’m amazed at how much love you shell out at every turn.
JoAnn says:
Heather- as always your determination and spirit impress me…
I read somewhere that the CEO of Whole Foods recently wrote a very right-ist Op-Ed (for which he is under fire) in which he stated that “free health care is not an intrinsic right”. While I do have a tendency to understand that opinion, I think the general point in this debate is that while free health care may not be the answer -the obvious point is that AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE SHOULD BE EVERYONE”S RIGHT. Especially for women in your situation, and even moreso for women trying to provide adequate care for their unborn children.
I work directly with medical institutions developing budgets, and every day when a new budget comes in it makes me sick to my stomach to see how much they hose people.
My thoughts are with you and your family as always.
JoAnn says:
I didn’t mean even moreso- I meant and ALSO for women who cannot afford any healthcare AT ALL that need prenatal care.
Just wanted to clarify…
Miche@CoordinatedChaos says:
My father is a doctor, and I know that a huge part of the reason things cost so much in an office or hospital compared to not is malpractice insurance costs. My dad spends almost half of his income on covering malpractice insurance, even though he has never been sued in a case. The cost of the insurance to fight off every little lawsuit that happens is just crazy. The fact that doctors have to worry about being sued over every little thing beyond their control thing that happens is just absurd. (yes, some doctors F up and shouldn’t be doctors, but in my opionon, those are rare and it would be hard to find a doctor that didnt truely do everything he/she could to help a patient). Anyways, that is part of the problem, and I don’t see it as one that would go away with healthcare reform. The doctors spent a lot of time and money (my dad is still paying off school) so they should be rewarded with a good paycheck, just as anyone would want, but the way to get that good paycheck is all the harder when half the income goes to paying malpractice. Just thought I’d point that out.
.-= Miche@CoordinatedChaos´s last blog ..The Baby Is Blue =-.
Lisa says:
Definitely call the insurance company as many times as it takes. There is a lot of truth behind the saying “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”
That stained glass is beautiful. I could spend so much time in a church just admiring the stained glass, especially those that send a special message or have a specific meaning. I think that priest was right, the grieving are blessed, because God is taking special care of you and because you loved and were loved by someone so special in your life.
Hugs and love (I hope you get that ultrasound next week)
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..First Day of School Jitters =-.
Jen says:
I’m glad that you have such good doctors taking care of you and Binky. You deserve the best!
.-= Jen´s last blog ..What has been keeping me up at night =-.
Jara says:
Heather,
I am sure you are right. Dr. Risky would be fighting the insurance company if she thought that the U/S was necessary from a medical (physical) standpoint. My guess is that she thinks its not. If that’s true then even the best insurance in the world or a Univerisal Payer system or government provided health care wouldn’t even cover weekly u/s. Now your MENTAL health is a totally different matter and believe me I can totally understand that you need to have weekly u/s to keep that in check. Do talk to Dr. Risky about what she would charge for an “out of pocket pay with cash” u/s. Maybe you can ‘sneak’ in a few of your own. ANd Of course your support community here would love to pay for it…..even though you say its “not necessary!”
Dana says:
Regarding how much doctors/hospitals charge insurance companies for ultrasounds….or other tests: I’m sure it depends who you ask, but my husband is a physican and his interpretation of why offices charge so much for tests is that insurance companies will only pay a fraction of what they are charged. So the price is inflated to ensure that the “real” cost of the test is paid. Of course, I’m sure if you ask someone on the insurance side of things, they’d have a whole other perspective.
ArdenLynn says:
Insurance? We are jumping through hoops trying to get Synagis for a 2nd year for our 27 weeker. I cringe when I hear him wheeze and as the baby of 8 he is exposed to everything.
I used to think I would feel “safe” when he hit 12 months. For reasons obvious to you, I don’t feel safe even though he is coming up on the 12 month mark for his due date.
sam {temptingmama} says:
*hugs*
Once upon a time, when I was a member of a message board, a lot of the women would go to get those 3D ultra sounds just to see the baby…. for fun. I guess they’re something like $300 a pop?! Seriously, the hospital charging three TIMES that!? It’s robbery.
If health care isn’t reformed the way their hoping, they need to have some kinda governing body watching over those insurance companies or something. (maybe they do already. I’m Canadian, what do I know?)
I love you and think of you
dailyhourly. XO coco.-= sam {temptingmama}´s last blog ..I’ll keep my dilapitated, aging ‘Nazi Socialist*’ health care system over yours any day. =-.
Heather says:
that was a beautiful post.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..misc pics =-.
sam {temptingmama} says:
Oh, whoops. I meant for that commentluv NOT to go through. Now my comment looks all spammy n’ shit. Sorry!!
.-= sam {temptingmama}´s last blog ..I’ll keep my dilapitated, aging ‘Nazi Socialist*’ health care system over yours any day. =-.
sam {temptingmama} says:
Dang it. LOL
QF says:
On a lighter not (I am trying to get a laugh here), I thought Dr. Risky was a man!
Somehow, Dr. Risky seemed like a young Tom Cruise wearing white boxers or briefs as I can’t remember the scene really well.
Anyway, we all love you and are rooting for you and Binky.
Katrina says:
So funny because I thought this, too! Dr. Risky as in Risky Business — so I visualized a young, Tom-Cruise-looking doctor in white briefs….with a dazzling smile.
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..What is with this DAMN computer, anyway…. =-.
kathy says:
Your comment about your friend’s grandmother’s siblings made me think about my brother, Stephen. I haven’t though of him in quite sometime. He was three months old when he died. I was born seven years later. His short little life was very, very difficult.
When I was a little girl, I always imagined him somewhere looking out for me. I would talk to him sometimes. Sometimes I imagined him as a little baby, and sometimes he was the age he would have been if he had lived.
Thinking about him always made me feel loved, cared for and safe.
alexis says:
That is so beautiful to think about.
Alexandra says:
I think on how health care,too, how they are “penny wise and pound foolish.” If I had had an ultrasound when I knew something felt funny, my 3 wouldn’t have spent 5 wks each in NICU…go figure…
Loved the stained glass, how profoundly mysterious that Maddie has opened up a whole new view of the world, one that was always there, but we didn’t see.
Dawn says:
and – Nana Mary had a good life – while she missed out on getting to grow up with her two older siblings – growing up knowing they were not with her did not keep her from being happy – does that make sense? I need more coffee.
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..Serenity Now Sunday – August 16th, 2009 =-.
Courtney says:
I agree with what the priest says, and I hope you are continuously blessed! I also can’t wait to hear how the insurance company takes all of your phone calls ;)!
Courtney in New York
.-= Courtney´s last blog ..What do I want to do? =-.
Lisa says:
We had lots of ultrasounds not covered by our insurance and we have phenomenal insurance. (No pre-approval, can see any doctor, and they even paid fully for one of our twins to be transferred to a hospital two hours away so our boys could be together…they considered it necessary for the emotional health of the mother and babies) Anyway, we never bothered to press the issue with them because our doctor was awesome. He billed $220 directly to us per ultrasound and gave us a 20% discount if we paid at the visit, he also capped our bill at $2700 for out-of-pocket payments to him. People need to realize that hospitals and doctors are more than willing to work with you, just call the billing department and they will often give you a year to pay a bill over $500.
Middle-Aged-Woman says:
It sounds like Nana Mary had a long life, well-lived. Amen.
.-= Middle-Aged-Woman´s last blog ..Travel Tip Thursday: East Coast vs. West Coast =-.
Aunt Becky says:
*sighs* The cost of health care is absolutely deplorable and I’m STILL furious that you didn’t get your US, and not just because I want to get my shop on.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Aunt Becky Cries It Out =-.
Elizabeth says:
How is it possible that an ultrasound can cost so much in hospital, when you can pay around $100 for one in a private 3d clinic? I know you aren’t going for diagnosis at those clinics, but you are still getting an ultrasound and how much more could it possibly cost the hospital to have someone look at it and make sure everything was okay? Sorry that you have to worry about that – I hope your phone calls go well with the insurance company!
Beautiful picture. Stirs so many thoughts and emotions for me.
Hugs.
Kim says:
Yep, something needs to change with health care, that is for sure.
I often walk through the cemetery to check out Emma’s new “neighbors”. I always cry when I see a baby or small child. I hurt for their parents. I think I always will, as will you. It’s part of the curse of losing a child. But, it is also a blessing to be able to help others in that situation.
.-= Kim´s last blog ..Random Emma Thoughts… =-.
Christiana says:
I realize I’m not anywhere near you and in CA things seem to cost more, but at my OB’s office, private pay ultrasounds are $300 or less. This is 2D/3D, not 4D, but still. That $1500 figure is OUTRAGEOUS!
That was a very cool window. It would make me think about her story, too.
.-= Christiana´s last blog ..Yesterday, today and tomorrow: The Clean =-.
Leslie says:
Just a note … those less expensive “vanity” ultrasounds in 3-D would probably not serve the purpose for Heather. I doubt if they show placenta position or the potential for clotting … that’s where the doctor and the ultrasound performer come in under a medical setting.
I am sorry you are having to deal with insurance issues on top of everything else. Hopefully your doctor, who sounds great, will come up with a good solution for you.
Glad to hear that the ongoing news is good … at least the reason for the denial of the ultrasounds on a weekly basis is because Binky is doing well.
Hugs to all of you …
Momma Uncensored says:
its a moral tragedy that health care has become a luxury. now i’m fired up again.
thinking of you.
.-= Momma Uncensored´s last blog ..witch =-.
Aaron's Mama says:
I am so glad you are getting a doppler. I could not have made it through my pregnancy without my rented Baby Beat doppler, which I sometimes used several times a day. It really allowed me to relax and enjoy my pregnancy and I hope it does the same for you. You are in my thoughts always.
Jenn says:
Hi Heather,
Beautiful post….I am very sorry to hear about your other grandma. It’s amazing how much we can fall in love with our friends relatives. You’re right the windows are beautiful. I often wonder about the ones who have past before us.
Your post today was Ironic for me. I barely slept last night b/c I was trying to figure out a way to pay for you and Mike to come to Canada to have your ultra sounds done. I wish I was rich and I even went out to buy a lottery ticket.
I’m glad you’re okay and I also believe if there was ANY concern for yourself or your baby, your dr would have done the ultra sound regardless of any insurance.
Take Care.
Thinking of you…
Jenn
Jodee says:
I am so sorry about your friends grandmother but glad you could be there for her.
I am glad you have such awesome dr’s but it does suck how much insurance company charge. I would love to have another baby but frankly put we can’t afford one my husband now works for himself and we can’t afford maternity insurance.
I really hope you get this worked out with you insurance company so you can get the ultrasounds you need for precious Binky.
Always thinking of you,
Jodee =-)
.-= Jodee´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Erin says:
You are strong, beautiful and very wise. You will get through any hard, painful or frusterating time. In do time i am sure. XOXO
.-= Erin´s last blog ..9 months…aldready!?!?! =-.
Amanda says:
Heather,
I too have fought with the insurance company over ultrasounds. We have insurance through my husband, which is through the local hospital where he works. We only have to pay if we have an ultrasound outside of the hospital (at the doctor’s office, for example) and that is 20% copay. Right now, we’re down to one income and we can’t afford it. We couldn’t afford it when we had two incomes.
This is our fourth pregnancy and the first baby that we have carried past 8 weeks – our doctor (we switched with this baby) wanted an ultrasound at 4 and 7 weeks..our insurance wouldn’t cover it at the hospital because it “wasn’t medically necessary” even though the doctor felt it was. He was kind enough to do it for us and we’ll pay when we can..it was just hard and very scary.
I have no idea what ultrasounds cost, to be honest but I do know that we can’t afford it if it wasn’t for the insurance. I’m blessed that we have that but just wish that sometimes they wouldn’t fight so hard against us. We just want to make sure that “Sprout” is okay. Just some reassurance is all we need.
Thinking of you, Mike, Maddie and Blinky.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Medical updates and prayer request =-.
cori says:
Prayers to you and your family. I saw this the other day, the song is beautiful, I thought of you.
Blessings to you.
Jennie says:
The discrepancies in the cost of medicines is ridiculous. Just the other day I commented on a lady’s blog who wanted some anti-inflammatory cream for her daughter. It was going to cost well over $100 per tube, so she was looking into other options for buying it, trying to find the best deal. Well, I’m in the UK and if I (like her) had a prescription, I could get this exact same cream for £17, which works out about $30. How can this be legal? Surely it’s just morally wrong, to start off with!
.-= Jennie´s last blog ..Knitting kills… =-.
jessica b says:
well that would depend on the manufacturer’s cost in each place. also, the US FDA regulates things differently than other countries. This requires the medications to be made differently in order to comply with these standards. So there is going to be different ingredients and measurements in them depending on what country they are being marketed in. This will definitely effect the prices of medications in the US.
Lucy's Mom says:
I just read the comments – all of them – from yesterday’s blog. And I have to say I love your readers for their support of you and their fury about our current health care system.
I work in the non-profit world on issues that affect work and family. I spend most of my days trying to change policies that need reforming. Health care is the primary issue we are all focusing on right now. I went to our local congressional health care forum last week and purposely sat next to a couple holding a sign referencing socialism. I spent the entire hour whispering in his ear about you and Mike, laid off from work, in a high-risk prenancy. I told him about Maddie and why we have to change this system for her. He went from screaming at our congressional rep to turning to me to talk quietly about your family. He folded up his sign, gathered up his wife and left.
You are doing so much good for so many families just by sharing your life. You inspired me last week to put my best organizing foot forward and that means so much. I hope you know how great your reach is in terms of protecting families struggling with a health care system that puts their babies at risk. You really are a hero, you may never know how many people you have helped. We will win meaningful health care reform in this country and it will be in part because of the courage of people like you and Mike.
And as ever, I miss Maddie, she is so beautiful and sweet.
Mrs. Wilson says:
Having just read Loralee’s post about health care reform, I hope that the American government can come up with something that will make it so that people like you and her don’t have to worry about HOW MUCH WILL THIS COST ME, and be able to focus 100% of your attention on the actual problem, not how you’re going to pay for it.
That is a beautiful stained glass window. Wow.
.-= Mrs. Wilson´s last blog ..the shack =-.
Badass Geek says:
I’m with Aunt Becky. It shouldn’t be so expensive to just be healthy.
.-= Badass Geek´s last blog ..In Which I Get A Dog =-.
meg...CT says:
I am glad you have a doctor who is so responsive to your needs. You well deserve to be the crazy, nervous, hormonal, pregnant lady….even though you apear to me to be remarkably calm.
Be well. You are doing GREAT.
I wish peace to you so that you can enjoy some of this pregnancy.
Glenda says:
Beautiful post… beautiful picture…and so glad to hear that everything will work itself out (with a few phone calls from you) with your insurance and ultrasound. I wish you comfort and peace so that you can be less stressful and enjoy this pregnancy with Binky. Sending you hugs XX
sherry pyle says:
What a beautiful picture.
I am glad there was a a picture of jesus with the Children. Even though it breaks our hearts i know they are safe with him.
My Mother told me a story once, a true story, of how her friend lost a little boy at about seven. His Mother went every day and sat at his grave. one night she had a dream. In the dream there were little children laughing and playing, happy and with what i guess she thought jesus would look like. But she couldn’t find her son. She looked and saw him at a distance by himself. She went over and ask him why was he so sad and alone. he said “Mommy I can’t have fun knowing you are so sad.” Somehow this helped this Mom and she stopped staying at his grave.
I guess we believe so strongly that chidren are happy with Jesus that it even transfers to our dreams.
You are such a stong person. loved by so many who really have never ment you.
You also have done so well. grieving is not easy.
May you soon get these doctors to give you what you need to have peace of mind.
Bless you dear one. rest secure that may prayers are heard by God for you each day.
For you and Binky!!!!
Jaclyn says:
Glad to hear Dr. Risky is the kind of Dr. who will do ultrasounds for you “under the table” That is great to hear. I totally understand you not wanting to take donations for the u/s and I hope you know by no means did I want it to take away from Friends of Maddie. I am still working on seeing if a place close to you will do some discounted u/s but you may not need it if Dr. Risky will do them for you. If I hear back from them, I will email you. Either way I just want you to have peace of mind with this pregnancy and if I can help in any way I am more than happy to. Hang in there!
Marti from Michigan says:
I’m wondering if your insurance company knows what happened to you before, with an early birth and a preemie child?
I thought I had heard somewhere in the media, that there was some kind of home ultrasound kit a person could purchase – maybe I’m only thinking of the home Doppler unit, not sure. Worth googling about though.
The stained glass picture is so pretty. I grew up in the Catholic faith, though I’m going elsewhere now. I have always loved the beauty in a Catholic church though. I’m so sorry for Tara’s grandmother’s loss. I still miss my own paternal grandmother, the only one I knew, who died 48 years ago! I still miss her very much.
**HUGS** and prayers to the Spohr family!
Karen says:
For what it’s worth (which is not much), you very likely _would_ be billed the $1500 for an ultrasound. Your doctor’s practice might be willing to negotiate a lower actual payment with you, but I’m pretty sure you’d be billed the whole charge. Frequently, uninsured people end up being charged MUCH more than the insurance companies negotiate as what they’ll reimburse. I had many tests while pregnant for which the doctor or hospital was reimbursed for perhaps 10% of what they billed. When my insurance company had refused to pay something, I was liable for the whole cost that they had been billed, not the 10% that the insurers had negotiated as being the “reasonable and customary” fee.
Molly says:
Beautiful post. You are so good at finding the light in the dark.
Aljolynn says:
Like so many others, my heart goes out to you, your friend Tara, and her family.
.-= Aljolynn´s last blog ..More on the Bambino’s 1st Birthday Bash Prep =-.
Katrina says:
“Blessed are those who grieve….”
I can see that. Because to grieve means that you have loved deeply, and to have loved deeply is a blessing.
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..What is with this DAMN computer, anyway…. =-.
Paula says:
It is ridiculous what ultrasounds cost. I’m living in Mexico right now, and though health insurance works different, if you go to a private OB/GYN, they normally have an ultrasound machine and perform one almost every appointment, no extra cost. I guess when doctors spend more time with you and there is no need for separate ultrasound technicians costs come way down.
As a matter of fact, if you are lucky enough to be going to a doc who owns a 3D/4D US machine, you can get that type w/o having to pay extra.
Yo pay a little more per visit, since they are private (private health insurance is only for “big expenses” and there is a government run health care system though it is not great), but there are no incredibly stupid extra charges, such as cotton swabs, US, etc.
Amy says:
I am not comparing a story to yours but I do want to share these WORDS with you. My friend’s cousin recently gave birth to a still born son. We were due at this same time and I felt so sick when I received the news. In fact, I just couldn’t understand how something like this could happen (just like I felt when I read about Madeline). Another friend told me quite frankly that “they need babies in heaven too”. I know this probably doesn’t ease a mother’s pain after losing a child but it stopped me from questioning my faith and it’s something that I try to remember when a child leaves us too early. Today, your story reminded me of this.
MCG says:
I mean no disrespect, but WHY could “they” POSSIBLY need babies in Heaven?
There’s NO logical, or right, reason when it comes to babies or children dying. NONE. And saying it happens because they need more babies in Heaven is the easy way out, in my opinion.
Amy says:
I just know it made ME feel better and this story reminded me of that. If I can picture a child playing in heaven with their grandparents or other loved ones who have left the earth already…it helps me not question my faith. I would not dare to try tell someone who has lost a child that this helps but this story made me think of it…that’s what I was sharing.
Suzanne says:
I would contribute to that fund! We are all rooting and praying for you and sweet Binky!!!!!! Here’s to a very uneventful 9 months!!!
Leita Reyna says:
Beautiful post, Heather. For our ultrasound, we paid $200 out of pocket for the ultrasound tech (who we were VERY impressed with) to come to our house and hook the machine up to our TV. That’s in Arizona, but I’m sure CA can’t be that much different. That’s insane the difference between insurance cost and private cost!
Elise says:
Heather, you and Mike have my endless respect. I don’t think more love, honesty and courage are possible than what you both have already displayed. What a beautiful gift those qualities were to your gorgeous Madeline, and what a gift they will be to Binky as well. Little Binky has the most wonderful parents awaiting his/her arrival (please let that not be until the official due date though!!) and the most precious heavenly angel big sister watching out for him/her already.
Even when I don’t post a comment, please know I am following you, sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a tear, but always with a wish and a prayer for your health and Binkys throughout your pregnancy. I think of your little Maddie as well, and her beautiful eyes and smile, and I believe that she continues to experience your love even in heaven.
Warmest wishes,
Elise
Amy says:
I know that locally (BC Canada) you can have a taped ultrasound done during pregnancy for about $150. Yes, we are covered for necessary ultrasounds but in my area it is illegal for the techs or doctors to reveal the sex (or it was when I had my kids) due to certain ethnic groups that would terminate pregnancies dependent on the sex of the fetus.
I hope it all works out and you get the ultrasounds on a routine basis that makes you feel comfortable.
eliza says:
I just want to cuss. That’s all I can think to do after reading the last two posts.. I want tom cruise to send you his u/s machine. And I want to cuss. I will exercise some restraint. I’m sending you good thoughts and cussing here in sc. I’m glad bink is doing so great. I wish you could have an u/s every day. You deserve it.
Danielle-Lee says:
Her family sounds lovely. The thought of a big family gathering makes me happy, and the music, piano, & older adults…sigh.
That picture is beautiful, even with a phone.
I am glad that you went & found something beautiful.
.-= Danielle-Lee´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Sanela says:
In NYC Ultrasounds cost $200 when I was pregnant I didn’t have insurance for the first 6 months. So definitely not $1500
Al_Pal says:
Goodness. Lovely photo, great post, thinking of you & your family. I hope the ultrasound stuff turns out all right!