When I was trying to get pregnant with Maddie, I read a ton of books and articles with loads of conflicting advice. There was one thing that they all agreed on – you shouldn’t tell anyone you’re pregnant until the second trimester. So, that was our plan…until things started to go haywire. I ended up missing a lot of work to see specialists and my coworkers started to suspect something was up. I ended up announcing the pregnancy to our friends at nine weeks.

With Annie’s pregnancy, we told our family right away and our close friends a few weeks later. We announced it to everyone else when I was eleven weeks pregnant, mostly because I was going on a trip where I knew people would offer to buy me drinks, give me hugs, and most likely see me puke.

This last pregnancy, I couldn’t get excited about telling anybody until I’d told Jackie. It was important to me to tell her in person, which I didn’t get to do until I was about eight weeks pregnant. After that, we started telling all of our friends, although I miscarried before we’d managed to tell everyone.

Next time, I am leaning towards telling people sooner. I really hated sending the “Oh I was pregnant, but now I’m not,” email. I felt bad about it, even though I know I didn’t need to. I don’t really see the point of waiting long next time to tell people. I’m not superstitious so I don’t believe spreading the word before the end of the first trimester has any impact on pregnancy. But I hesitate because I’ve heard the whispers about people who’ve shared that they’re expecting before the “safe” time to announce it, and I think that’s sad. What’s wrong with sharing happy news with your family and friends? Why hold back for a “what if,” especially if, should it happen, you want to lean on your family and friends for support? After all, friends and family are supposed to be there for you in the bad times, too.

Of course, my pregnancies don’t really have a “safe” time, so I’m more of a “celebrate before everything goes to hell” kind of person. And with a future pregnancy being my last, I have to at least attempt to squeeze some joy out of it, because who knows what will happen. If we don’t get a baby at the end, then I’ll need my support system more than ever. But hopefully, we’ll have lots of joy for months and years.

So, when do you all spill the beans, and why then?