At my appointment yesterday with Dr. Risky, she opened up my patient chart and said, “We have more information on you right now than I do on a lot of my full-term patients.” Better a medical file than a disciplinary file, I guess!

The whole appointment was pretty uneventful, although it was the first time I didn’t throw up in her bathroom before my exam. Progress! Her nurse found The Acrobat’s heartbeat with her doppler and it was strong. I’m always nervous in those few moments before I hear the woosh, woosh, woosh of his heart, but luckily I didn’t have to wait long to hear it. My fundal height was right on track, which wasn’t surprising because HELLO I am looking pregnant now:

24w 6d

Dr. Risky gave me a fetal fibronectin test. Fetal fibronectin is a protein that’s attached to the amniotic sac, and if it is detected in the cervical canal at this stage in pregnancy it can mean that you’re at an increased risk of going into labor in the next one to three weeks. I’ve had this test performed lots of times during my pregnancies, but this was the first time I’ve had it done during this one. It’s very simple – just a swab from my cervical canal – and the results are ready in a few hours. Mine came back negative, thank goodness. But it’s only accurate for about a week, so I’ll be back in Dr. Risky’s office next week for another FFN test. I’m not sure if this will be a weekly thing until delivery, or if it’s just going to happen until I’m far enough along to go back on anti-contraction medications. I’ll find out next week.

The rest of the appointment was mostly just me unloading on Dr. Risky about how crappy I feel. When she said, “How are you doing?” I’m sure she didn’t expect me to really tell her. I opened my mouth and all these complaints came tumbling out, but then I said, “I’m so sorry! I don’t mean to complain! I’m so grateful to be pregnant and that the baby is doing so well but I just can’t WAIT until it’s over because I’m so exhausted and I feel like I’m falling apart!!!” To her credit, she only laughed at me a little bit before she reminded me that I am exhausted not only because I have a three-year-old at home, but also because I have spent the last six months under-nourished and there’s only so much a body can take. I felt a lot better after she said that.

I’ve really tried my hardest to be positive during this pregnancy, but I’m not going to lie – it felt good to drop that for a minute and let it out. The medicines, the shots, the headaches, the barfing and never-ending nausea, the stress…it’s freaking hard. I really am so grateful but I am also really, really tired.

So, as usual, I am keeping my eye on the prize…even if sometimes, the prize is just making it to bed at the end of another long day.

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