Labor day weekend 2007 was one of those perfect weekends. Mike and I went to a college football game, had breakfast with a great friend who was visiting from New York City, celebrated another friend’s birthday, and I did a lot of shopping for clothes to accommodate my expanding belly. While Mike and I got ready for bed that Monday night, we talked about how we wished we could do the weekend again. He reminded me that I had a fun week ahead – I was going to San Francisco the following weekend to visit my Bay Area friends, but before that, we were going to find out the sex of our baby. Still, I was filled with the laziness and dread that comes after a long weekend. I climbed into bed and whined, “I don’t want to go to work tomorrow!” To quote the musical genius of the Pussy Cat Dolls, be careful what you wish for ’cause you just might get it.
That night, I woke up on top of the covers. Los Angeles was in the middle of a serious heat wave, even by late summer standards. I was covered in sweat from head to toe, and the baby was pushing on my bladder. I stumbled to the bathroom without my glasses, hoping to stay in that semi-conscious state that would allow me to fall back to sleep easily. I used the toilet, and when I reached to pull my shorts up I noticed that my legs looked like they were streaked in mud. As I moved my leg closer, I caught a glimpse of my underwear, and it also looked muddy. This is when my mind woke me up fully. I looked in the toilet and it was full of dark, reddish-brown water. I then realized that I hadn’t been sweating in bed – I was laying in a pool of blood. I called to my sleeping husband, “Mike? I think I’m bleeding.”
He ran into the bathroom and confirmed that my legs, underwear, and the toilet were bloody. He went to page the doctor, and I stood to clean up….and blood gushed out of me. “Oh my gosh!!” I shouted, “I’m bleeding everywhere!!!” Mike left the doctor a very frantic message, and then we quickly got dressed to go to the hospital. We were pulling out of the garage when my sleepy doctor called my cell phone. I explained what was happening and she asked, “How many weeks are you again?” “Nineteen” I said. “Well…at this point either one of your blood clots disintegrated, or you’re having a miscarriage. If you’re not in pain or if the bleeding doesn’t get worse, stay at home and come to my office at eight.” It was 1:30 am.
The rest of the morning, neither of us slept. Mike went to the grocery store twice. The first time I said, “Get me any kind of pad except panty liners!” But unfortunately, all he heard was “Panty Liners!” Every time I moved, more bloody liquid would pour out of me. I was soaking an overnight pad with every gush. Mike and I were freaking out…except, the baby was still moving. I could feel kicks and stretches and wiggles. I laid on the couch with a stack of towels under me, thinking about how I’d whined about not going to work. Little did I know I wouldn’t go to work again for over three months.
When my OB saw me that morning, she seemed stunned to discover an alive baby in my belly. She did a thorough ultrasound, and was happy to report that (at that time) everything looked fine. She couldn’t pinpoint if my membranes had ruptured, and the amniotic fluid around the baby was at a normal level. The baby’s head had descended into my pelvis as if it was a week before my due date instead of more than twenty weeks away. The descended head was acting like a stopper in a drain. My OB told me to stay off my feet until I saw my specialist at the end of the week. The specialist, unfortunately, had much worse news.
It isn’t lost on me that the hardest part of my pregnancy began on Labor Day. The ten weeks on bed rest was the longest, most torturous two and a half months of my life. We could never relax, and the news about the baby got worse and worse – there was almost no amniotic fluid, her heart was enlarged, there was a strong possibility she had Down Syndrome, her lungs looked tapered, we were told to terminate the pregnancy. The only good news we ever got was when the baby would kick – and, when I reached 26 weeks, we found out the baby was a girl, our Madeline. I never went into labor, but those ten weeks after Labor Day were more taxing than 24 hours of back labor.
It’s been a year, and even though I’m not pregnant, I don’t think I’ll sleep well tonight.
AMomTwoBoys says:
DUDE. I know the outcome to the story, and I’ve read your stuff over at Mommy 4-1-1, but this STILL made my heart skip a beat and, well, HOLY CRAP, I cant’ even imagine. Maddie’s a lucky girl to have such a dedicated Momma.
And that Mike…MAN, he’s a trooper. And maybe tonight, just to be safe, don’t wank about having to go to work tomorrow. K? :0)
rachel says:
Wow, what a day! Give that little girl an extra special hug and kiss tonight.
rachels last blog post..Triplets
Jennifer says:
OMG–what a scary ordeal! I was cringing reading about all that blood. What a miracle that Madeline made it through all that!! I don’t blame you for feeling uneasy on Labor Day!!
Jennifers last blog post..Scents of the Seasons
iMommy says:
I heart your blog, really. But that song makes me want to bang my head against a wall repeatedly, and because of your lovable blog, it’s stuck in my head!!
You’ll pay for this, Spohr!!
iMommys last blog post..Mish Mash
iMommy says:
… OK, and just read the rest of this post and my heart goes out to you – that is terrifying.
I guess I can forgive the song
iMommys last blog post..Mish Mash
Nanette says:
Wow! It’s no wonder that Labor Day will never be the same for you.
Nanettes last blog post..Bump Watch 2008, 32 weeks, 3 days
cindy w says:
I don’t know if you’ll ever get over a trauma like that, I know I wouldn’t.
Not quite related, but sorta – one of my friends was raped on Memorial Day weekend. So you know, it’s always like “fun holiday weekend” for everyone else, but for her it’s just the anniversary of the most awful thing that’s ever happened to her. I don’t know if it’s possible to break the association of the negative event with the date in your head, but hopefully in your case, as Maddie gets bigger and stronger and healthier, it’ll become more of a distant memory.
Oh, and: Unisom. For real.
Fiesty Charlie says:
I know how scary that experience had to have been for the two of you. Lived through it….
Maddie is a fighter for certain!
Fiesty Charlies last blog post..Willie Nelson Has Nothing On Us!
Becky says:
Oh man. Heather. Holy shit balls.
sam {temptingmama} says:
*hugs* Heather! My heart just aches reading that.
Cara says:
So scary. I can’t even imagine how you felt that night. The more I read about her, the more I realize just how special that little girl of your is.
Caras last blog post..Evacuation
Marinka says:
How scary it must have been for all of you. I’m so glad that you have your beautiful daughter now. I hope that you sleep well.
Marinkas last blog post..A Wonderful Man
Heather says:
I know you must have given your daughter 10 hugs and kisses for every word you wrote. I know my little girl gets all the love I can squeeze into her when I read posts like yours.
Thanks for sharing your story and reminding us to be ever so thankful for these precious little lives.
Heathers last blog post..First Hike
Bonnie says:
The sudden discovery of blood in a pregnancy…there is nothing worse. I had two miscarriages, both in the early 2nd trimester and both heartbreaking. The discovery of blood just sank my heart both times and it is the only time in my life that I could physically relate to the phrase “my heart is aching”. I’m so happy that your story had a happy ending, despite the tough time on bed rest.
Bonnies last blog post..Siblings
Maria says:
This gave me the chills. I’m so glad this post is accompanied by a happy ending and the cutest baby I’ve ever seen. Many hugs to you and Mike. You guys are so brave.
And, as always, it’s great to see a post from you.
Marias last blog post..celebrating stillness
anymommy says:
Sleep well tonight – I hope you will because you’ll be able to check on your beautiful daughter any time you want to do it! That’s incredible. I am so sorry that you went through all of that to get to her though.
anymommys last blog post..Set in Stone
Loralee says:
My heart was in my throat for this and it isn’t like I’m a stranger to your story.
No, I would imagine that you wouldn’t be sleeping well tonight.
I totally get it.
Hugs, my friend.
Loralees last blog post..Sideblog: Hurricanes n’ stuff
LiteralDan says:
Boy, that story is an exhausting and scary ordeal just reading it.
P.S. I’m glad it wasn’t Hot Liquid Cherry Jello Night around our house tonight.
LiteralDans last blog post..Ay, there’s the rub
moosh in indy. says:
Dude, I have the stomach churneys. Labor day really is a lot of work huh?
Maria says:
Good morning! I gave you an award on my blog.
Marias last blog post..celebrating stillness
maya says:
Your labor day is like my husband’s birthday to me. We went out for Thai food on his birthday with my family, had a great time- then all the drama of the pregnancy began that night. The contractions, the 6 weeks of hospital bedrest….the 6 weeks of NICU. So this yr, when his bday comes around on oct 6th, I will be thankful that we have overcome such a tough year- but also celebrate just how far we’ve all come. Sending you and maddie virtual kisses
mayas last blog post..Questions & Answers
ali says:
a fighter from day one that girl, eh?
alis last blog post..loud and gaudy and silkscreen-y nostalgia
Rebecca says:
oh i know how scary some of that stuff is. when i was carrying my boys i had blood clots and mucus. nothing as bad as your bleed. but then right on delivery we discovered one of my boys had died three days before they were born. for some reason tonight i was doing this silly thinking of going back in time to rescue him. if only if only. but that gets me nowhere. so i just love the kids i have. i know you love your girl pretty hard too.
HeatherPride says:
God love you guys. You have been to hell and back. But look who you brought back with you! I feel awful about what you have been through. But so happy for you now!
God bless.
HeatherPrides last blog post..Different Disciplines
Danes says:
That made me cry. Just….yeah. Hug Maddie for me, will ya? I love you.
Willow says:
Even though I know there was a happy ending, it’s still so scary to read. Thank goodness you have your beautiful girl to hug this year.
preTzel says:
It’s posts like this that make it very aware why I awarded you that award Heather. You had my heart pouding and I was yelling “WTF?” when you said the doc said to stay home. I would have ran to the ER and said “WTF DOC!?!” LOL!
I’m glad the outcome is wonderful but reading all of this makes you just cringe in sympathy and fear.
preTzels last blog post..My Town Monday
Kristin says:
Day late and a dollar short. Oh my lord. I didn’t know all the details. Thank goodness Miz Maddie has you.
Kristins last blog post..And then there were three
Danielle says:
I have goosebumps and am crying! I can’t imagine the stress and worry, but Maddie is simply the cutest little girl ever. Seriously!
Danielles last blog post..Some Photos