If I’m being honest, I went into breastfeeding this time with a poor attitude. I just 100% figured it wouldn’t work, because I’d never had success with it. Madeline was born too early to feed directly from my breast, and Annabel had a terrible latch that even a lactation consultant couldn’t fix. With both girls I’d also had supply issues, and with Annabel I really needed medication for my postpartum anxiety. They both had pumped milk and formula from a bottle, and even though I had tons of guilt about it, it was fine. Annabel is strong and healthy and smart and I’m pretty sure she’s not scarred for life because she had formula as a baby.
James, however, is not his sisters (that’s the first of what will definitely be many times I write that). He latched on immediately. The nurses said his latch was great. He fed confidently from the get-go and my milk came in before I left the hospital. It was all working perfectly, and I was completely taken by surprise. My plan all along was to give breastfeeding a try, and then switch to formula when the breastfeeding failed. I’d even bought the bottles already.
I changed my attitude about it quickly and have been going all-in on this breastfeeding thing. But it’s been hard. James’ great latch at the hospital wasn’t so perfect when we got home, and I have some…wounds…that we’re having to nurse through (his latch has been corrected). I am exhausted. I’ve never been the only one that could feed one of our babies, and not getting a break so far has been hard for me to deal with on top of my slow recovery.
A couple nights ago, when I was crying through some slowly-healing nipples and painful engorgement, I started to seriously doubt I could do this. It had been a hard nine months and I just wanted a break. I didn’t want to hurt every two hours. Mike told me he supported me no matter what, which was tremendously helpful. But, I pushed through. It hasn’t really gotten better, but it hasn’t gotten worse. I’ve spent hours reading breastfeeding literature, I know breastfeeding is difficult at first, and I haven’t put myself through the thirteen days of this to quit now.
If I’m being honest again, I do miss formula. James will definitely have it, because at some point very soon I am going to physically require sleeping more than ninety minutes at a time. I’m going to keep plugging away at this, googling at-home nipple repair remedies and chasing down lactation consultants. I’m curious to see how much weight he’s gained in two weeks on only breast milk. But what I have to keep reminding myself is: this is what’s working for us now. Who knows what will work for us tomorrow? I have to go easy on myself and remember that the most important thing is James is fed and loved, and he’s always going to be.
Feed me!
Becca Masters says:
May I recommend lanisoh nipple cream? It has worked wonders for me!
I had a very hard time breast feeding, lost a lot of blood so my milk didnt come in straight away, Emma’s latch was atrocious, so I mostly expressed. Then we got it right and boy did she destroy my nipples to the point that it hurt! Thn we were good! Then I got appendicitis and was hospitalised, and I couldn’t express as there wasn’t a pump and she could come on to the ward because she was only 4 weeks old.
So after 3 days I got blocked ducts and tht hurt!
Then we were fine, then I got Bell’s palsy and had to stop breast feeding for 10 days because of medication and now were back on the breast but supply is lower than it should be becaus of all the set backs, so we’re doi both formula and breast.
She latches great now, and feeds well, although sometimes she is on y boob for 3 hour stretches in the early hours (!!!)
She’s starting to teeth at 11 weeks and well she’s using my nipple to soothe her rock hard gums which is great for her but not so great for me!
So glad you’ve hung in there as I know how hard it is!
So many times I’ve cried in frustration and said I wanted to give up.
We now do a combination of breast and formula.
Try the lanisoh nipple cream. It’s amazing. And doesn’t need to be washed off before feeds!
So glad Mike is supportive too.
Becca Masters says:
Tired mama is full is spelling mistakes! Sorry!
Heather says:
I totally second the lansinoh cream!
If it’s really painful, Avent and Madela both make an excellent nursing sheild that you can use as a barrier between your healing nipple and his latch. It’s a little awkward, but it likely saved me from abandoning breastfeeding early on with my now 9 year old.
At the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for your family. Be proud that you’re giving it your all, but don’t kick yourself for supplementing with formula when you need a break.
Mommy says:
I loved the lansinoh cream and nipple butter by earth mama angel baby too.
Tracey says:
Lansinoh!! It’s miracle stuff – truly!
Jayme Kubo says:
TMI alert: Dylan almost took off one of my nipples in the beginning, and the only thing that helped it heal was breast milk spread over the wound, and leaving my boobs out to air dry. I tried the Lansinoh and all that stuff, but the moisture really hindered healing (for me). We had latch struggles for the first couple of weeks, but once it got fixed and my open wounds healed (yay!), it was smooth sailing. And just because you’re nursing, doesn’t mean James can’t take a bottle of pumped milk or formula for one or two nighttime feedings to give you a chance to get some sleep. Like you said, you just have to do what works for you guys, there is no right or wrong here
Pamela Gold says:
YUP! You’d be surprised at the things breastmilk can heal. Wounded nipples is top notch for it though. It really works.
I was all about doing it all natural but then I broke down and bought the lansinoh. There’s nothing like it on the market! The tea bags and all that jazz is child’s play comparatively.
Laura says:
I was going to say exactly this. Expressing breast milk then letting it air dry was the only way I healed in the beginning with breast feeding. I’d say for me the first month was AWFUL but after that it got much easier.
Jessica says:
I have a 5 week old boy and we are having similar breastfeeding/formula issues. These newborns are hard to figure out and mommy-guilt is a crazy, powerful thing. I was pretty miserable from weeks 2-3, but things “evened out” from there. Here’s to hoping the pain gets better ASAP for you!
Bria says:
I second the Lansinoh nipple cream! Anyway, hang in there, Heather. I’m currently (literally) breastfeeding my seven week old (second baby) and although the first weeks a though, it does get easier.
Bria says:
*are though. Guess I’m tired too.
Bria says:
OMG…*tough
Paola says:
The breastfeeding bond is awesome! Having said that I would not solely breastfeed another child of mine. It was a great experience I had with my daughter, but I had clog ducts twice and that was more painful than my 2 c-sections put together. Everyone says how great it is for the child and what an awesome experience it is, but they don’t tell you how tired you will be the entire time you do it and how attached your child will get to you and lets not forget mastitis, clog ducts, etc. etc. All in all do what’s best for you, either way James will be fed and love his mama just the same. Also, my breastfed baby always weighed less than my formula fed baby, so formula must be doing something right. And last but not least it sucks when you have to wean them and they’re not ready, but you are. It makes you feel like the worst mother in the world when you don’t give in to their boob needs. Don’t want to scare you, but that’s my experience with breastfeeding.
Dorcas says:
I’ve EBF two boys. One was always in the 75% or higher for weight, the other landed around the 15% percentile for weight. ALL kids are different.
There are two different weight charts, one for EBF babies and one for formula fed babies.
Please let’s not assume that more weight = a more healthy baby.
While EBF my 2nd son I was always distressed about his low weight percentile and I’d hate to set Heather up for those worries too by suggesting that weight = healthy. I learned that my 2nd son was 100% normal and healthy for HIM. Keeping your own personal growth curve is the important thing … whether that’s at the 15% percentile, or the 75th.
Dorcas says:
Ooo, I need to correct myself. I didn’t “exclusively” BF my first born. I had some post op complications and he had a week of formula feeding his 3rd week of life.
mamascud says:
You are an amazing mama!! I had the same issue with nursing being super painful at first and having cracking/bleeding (it hurts to even remember!). It WILL get better soon! You are right on the brink of it. It goes from being the most difficult and painful thing to being the easiest. Use the lanisoh cream any time you think of it. Also, I’ve heard those cooling gel pads are really soothing, but I didn’t try them. Be sure you’re drinking tons of water (it seems like getting dehydrated makes everything harder!). And pat yourself on the back because you are doing great
Leah says:
I totally agree. With my first child it was horrible and painful for two-three weeks then it turned into a breeze and I’ve been BF’ing ever since (almost four years!) since I weaned the first at age two when the second was born … soon it will be time to wean the second, and then no more nursing, sigh!
But just to echo your own words and many of the comments, whatever works for you and James will be just fine.
Maria says:
Oh boy, get ready for the breast feeding nazis to bombard you and make you feel guilty for even mentioning the dreaded F word (formula..). Don’t listen to anybody, do what works for you and take it day by day. If you need a break here and there a bottle of formula isn’t going to harm him at all. I breastfed all 3 of mine (almost exclusively for 6 months) and I would also give them a bottle once in a while so that I could get a break, and so that they won’t refuse the bottle later on. I had no problems. Do what feels right for you. Oh yeah, get the TENDER CARE LANOLIN by Medela for your nipples. It works wonders AND you don’t have to wash it off, it’s safe for the baby to ingest.
Tam @ Nearly Not Quite says:
If you or someone you know is struggling with bottlefeeding support or information please pop over to Bottle Babies on Facebook, or visit their website http://www.bottlebabies.org. A completely independent and free peer to peer support network for bottlefeeding families. No guilt and no judgement!
Heather, congratulations on your beautiful baby James, and on working so hard to do what you think is right for your family. It’s not easy, for sure! xx
Stephanie Wald says:
Yes! Also “Fearless Formula Feeders” made me feel alot better when I had trouble BFing!
Nat says:
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!! There is NOTHING to feel guilty about. Do whatever works for you. Formula is a perfectly GOOD food. It’s just milk! Here, read this:
http://www.skepticalob.com/2013/05/world-health-organization-no-long-term-benefits-to-breastfeeding.html
I felt soooo guilty for months for not being able to breastfeed the first time around. Absolutely no reason whatsoever to kill yourself over it.
Nat says:
Also, if you decide to stick it out, remember, his mouth will only get bigger, meaning, it’ll probably be easier for him to get a better latch later on.
AudNoL says:
I love that you are able to write coherent sentences while recovery & in sleep-debt. You guys rock. But, as much as I love reading about your family- I am hooked by the photos. James is stunning. I adore his hair. Adore!
(And, is it possible to have someone else read the comments and filter out any crazies you might get? Be kind to yourself!)
Annalisa says:
Every baby’s different, and you never know what will happen.
I will share that I hated, hated, hated the first month of breastfeeding. I wanted to quit every day. I snuck my kid formula at least once a day because I was so exhausted, but in about four weeks she got wise to it and started refusing that lone bottle feed, in spite of having had that daily since birth. She was Just. That. Stubborn. (She never did return to the bottle, btw. Stubborn.) She would also chew me raw. Half the time I was feeding her I was crying, I kid not.
The only two reasons we kept at it and it got better were (a) I was too stubborn myself to admit defeat and (b) after 3 different lactation consults, I finally got some good advice. Here’s what awesome lactation consultant told me (as opposed to the first two who mostly made me feel confused and/or guilty about not being able to use a football hold):
1. You and baby are individuals, which means that you might have to find a way to nurse that works for just the two of you, i.e., that helps him latch, and that helps you stay pain free. The cradle hold and football hold work for most nursing mamas, but not everyone. Hint: we figured out a modified cradle hold that forced my daughter to latch properly, i.e., do so without destroying my boobs! It was harder on my arms at first, because of how I had to hold her and support her, but eventually I got used to it (and got biceps of steel as a side bonus ;)).
2. Nipple shields are your friends. Get thee to a store that sells nursing supplies, buy a couple of different sizes, and experiment. I ended up needing a larger size, not because of my nipple size, but because its shape maximized my little monster’s latch area, which meant less clamping down on me (yay!). For the first four months, I never breastfed without a nipple shield. Eventually my daughter decided she didn’t like it and refused to nurse with a shield on, but by then, her latch had finally corrected itself so it wasn’t a problem to stop using them.
3. A hot pack is your best friend when it comes to easing engorgement and preventing mastitis. She suggested I use one whenever (and wherever) I felt tender. As a result, I never did get mastitis, despite a couple of close calls/plugged ducts.
What I figured out on my own is that the side hold (i.e., feeding kiddo while lying on your side in bed) is your best friend when it comes to snatching sleep. Once I was no longer cracked and bleeding all the time, I managed to just sleep during night nursing, since by then my daughter had decided she was going to co-sleep with me whether I liked it or not (again: stubborn).
And you know what? Not every kid is either formula fed, or exclusively breastfed. Some do just fine having both, and if that’s what works for the two of you, that’s all that matters, ultimately.
debi says:
I had 5 kids 1976-1990 and back in the 70’s all my friends and I nursed our babies and thought nothing of it. I feel so bad that in the past 15 years or so I hear of so many problems. They must have always been there but I never knew. All my girls and DIL’s breast fed. The only one with a problem was my youngest and both her babies were 4 and 5 weeks early. With the first baby she had to use a shield or a Latch as the nurses called it. Wow, what a difference. It helped with the first weeks soreness and baby was able to feed like a champ. She stayed with the shield until baby was ready to let it go at 4 months. Then she continued to breast feed until Bella was 2 1/2. Back in the day I was one of the Breast feeding Nazis mentioned above.These days I understand not all mommies are comfortable with this and you need to do what is right for you. Breast may be best but bottles are okay too.
Lesley says:
I appreciate enormously your honesty and candid sharing of your experience. My god i guarantee many of us will read this and think, yes that’s exactly how it was for me. Do what works for you my love, because that’s exactly what your baby needs. I have Never commented before but just couldn’t let this pass! Bravo for honest and realistic mums!
Julia says:
If you’re looking for natural, at-home remedies, coconut oil can work great, but I’ve always liked to just express some breastmilk on my nipples after feeds and letting them air dry. Let them be exposed to the air as much as possible. And lactation consultants are great to make sure the latch is correct. A bad latch can cause all sorts of damage! Good luck (written at 2am while up breast feeding an 8 week old…)
Elinor says:
I have not had children, so I have no experience with the breast v formula choice, and really don’t have an opinion. I do have an opinion on you though: you are one hell of a Mama and there is never any doubt that you will do what is best for your son.
Kate says:
This, this, this!
YES.
Tori says:
My son was in the NICU and never got the hang of his latch while in the hospital so i pumped for his three week stay. When we got home I continued pumping but offered him the breast as often as I could. At first it was horrible. He would scream he would bite he wouldn’t eat. 3 lactation consultants and 6 weeks later we finally got it! I kept giving my self small goals and never quit while I was angry. I kept just at then end of this week I will reevaluate and I am proud to say I only just stopped nursing now and he’s 10.5 months and that was in preparation for daycare! I would just make sure once he gets the hang of it better do try and give him a bottle of bm every once in a while. My son refused a bottle until we cold turkey weaned.
April says:
My first was solely formula fed. My 2nd and 3rd only breastfed and did so until they were each almost 3 years old. Now my 4th is 21 months and still nursing never having formula. The 3rd and 4th never had bottles of pumped milk either as they never cared for bottles. After all those months of nursing under my belt I can tell you get some Lanisoh lanolin and slather all over your nipples after every time he nurses. It helps a TON and will help heal them quickly. Second, make sure he is latching wide enough and far back enough on your nipple. That is key. A shallow latch will kill ya and your supply. Those first few weeks you are learning and so is he. Even with my 4th it was a learning curve. Babies are born knowing how to latch on and nurse but they get it. We get it. And your doing it mama! Awesome awesome job!! Stick with it because while it seems he is eating constantly he is establishing an awesome supply for you right now and that is going to work in your favor. Co-sleep is the best advice I can give. Then you don’t even have to get out of bed when he wants to eat! He will even out soon and not want to eat so much when his tummy gets a bit bigger. I would also cluster feed right before bed…feed him like every 30 mins in the 2-3 hours before bed. That will sometimes help fill his belly enough to give you a good few hours sleep.
Treena says:
I breastfed both my kids – the first was quite easy looking back, just the usual bleeding/cracked nipples which were toe curlingly painful for a couple weeks but healed as his latch got better. Both my babies were small and had tiny mouths which made it hard for them to latch properly. By about 6 weeks it was a breeze. I also introduced formula for when I needed someone else to feed him as I couldn’t for the life of me get anything out through expressing. My husband and I had no problem mixed feeding.
The BF experience with my second baby however was a different story. She had such a bad latch it ripped the shreds out of my nipples, I then got mastitis three times and had thrush on my nipples so bad that they were absolutely on fire and I couldn’t actually put her to my breast; I would scream and dry heave. I had to express a bit (worked better this time) and had to mix feed while my nipples healed. Once I got that sorted with medication after about 3 weeks it was all good and I went on to feed for 10 months (with some formula as well). I was determined to not give up as we decided it was our last baby and I didn’t want that experience to end. I’m glad I didn’t give up looking back but I also know that you have to do what keeps the mummy happy and well and it’s great you have a supportive partner as did I.
Hope you get some rest and recovery and keep posting photos of that gorgeous bub of yours. Good luck!
Cathy says:
If you have wounds that won’t heal after a few days, try “all purpose nipple ointment” recommended by breast-feeding guru Dr. Jack Neumann. You will need a prescription for it, but it doesn’t harm baby and was only thing that helped my non-healing nipple wounds. I couldn’t even spread the thick and sticky lanolin creams because my nipples were so sore.
Lis D says:
Breastfeeding those first few weeks is HARD–even when you’ve done it before successfully. My first (once we got him to latch) did fine, and my second latched right one, but MAN it’s hard those first few weeks. But then it really does get easier. Super easier. It got to a point where I’d hardly even wake up– Son2 would fus, my husband would get up and get him for me (this is essential, so that YOU don’t completely have to wake up– you can stay in kind of a 1/2 sleepy state that makes going back to sleep easier), give him to me (and son 2 was a champ at nursing while I was laying down), then he’d come get him and return him to the crib. It made things in the sleep dept. 100xs easier. And then suddenly they’re sleeping 4, maybe 6 hours at a time (get a miracle blanket!!) and you’re not washing bottles. Brilliant.
BUT- you gotta do what works for you.
Jill says:
GAH! the nipple pain. Shells, not shields saved me.
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/category/breast-shells
Shells and whatever cream floats your boat. The shells let you have your nipples not touch anything when you are dressed, and let air in to circulate and dry them.
Also, let me say that now, at age 7 and 4. Not one person cares if my kids were breastfed or not, and no one can tell. One was, one wasn’t, and they are both going to be fine.
What a good mama you are any way you do it. XO
Annalisa says:
Shells didn’t work for me. Couldn’t find any model that fit discreetly under my clothes (here I am willing to admit it wasn’t the shields per se, it was that there was so much the shields sat on top of that no way they would “pass”), and the nipple opening would sometimes scrape against… well, the sore parts…
An alternative to Shells I found pretty quickly was getting cotton breast pads to do the same thing the shields were supposed to. They were harder to find than disposables (why does everything have to be disposable these days), but well worth the time and trouble to find, as they didn’t chafe like disposables do, and they even got softer with repeated washing.
I think Medela also makes the kind I’m talking about.
Katherine says:
I’m so happy for you, for James’ birth and that breastfeeding is going so surprisingly well. I breastfeeding both my girls, “successfully,” they say, because it was exclusive, etc., and long, but I will say that the first, especially was quite hard and painful for at least six weeks. The second, maybe only painful for two weeks. But you will sleep more than 90 minutes, don’t worry. Hopefully the pain dies down enough soon that you can breastfeeding lying down. This was a major saving grace for me, which unfortunately I did not figure out or even think of until my first was about four months old and I was entirely too strung out. If you are comfortable sleeping with the baby, or picking him up out of the crib when you go to bed, you can just sleep without a shirt and move side-to-side as he needs throwing the night as you are barely conscious.
Not having to get up to get a baby and sit up really helps you sleep afterward. I Just remember helping her with her latch a little at first, then falling back into sleep. It’s actually a pleasant memory and experience, in my opinion, if you can sleep through the nighttime part of it.
Lori says:
Breast feeding is all kinds of hard, until one day, it’s just not. And once it’s not, many breast feeding mamas often block out those early challenges and only talk about how great the experience can be. I always hated pumping, so my kids early on rarely left my side. It worked for me, but certainly got old and tiring. This is a silly suggestion, but one that saved me. Learn how to nurse laying down. A lactation consultant showed me and it was a godsend for those middle of the night feelings.
Stefanie says:
This. It is hard and then you turn the corner and then from then on it’s like it’s always been that way.
For my second kid I found it was better for me if I kept myself on a schedule, so that I could also rest when she rested as long as I expressed milk regularly (by pumping). If my boobs weren’t full then I’d give her a bottle of milk. It was also nice because my husband could feed the baby in the middle of the night and I could pump right before I slept and then be ready to feed first thing in the morning. Sore nipples suuuuck. Pretty sure I almost lost one with my first child. But those get better too. Bodies are weird and awesome at the same time.
I hope you find your rhythm. I’m cheering for you.
DefendUSA says:
Heather…
As a former lactation consultant…one of the things I absolutely hated was the “overzealous” women who were La Leche League people who made Moms feel inadequate about how they got the job done. My Sister-in-law just had her first baby. And I was lucky enough to be able to help her.
1. Boobs will be sore and crack even if you have the best latching kid on the planet- If your boobs are really sore, the new shields they make now are very soft and flexible and can help with the chafing. But it does get better!
2. Don’t let anyone tell you to switch the position you are most comfortable with…it’s just a bad idea.
3. So what if you need a formula break…
4. You are probably past the “baby shouldn’t lose more than 10% of birth weight” mantra. As long as his diapers are wet and poopy, don’t worry. I know it’s hard, but he will be F-I-N-E.
5. If you are able–and I could not convince my SIL of this…to let James sleep longer than three hours, do it!! I used the demand feeding method…which means they did not get awakened on purpose every 3 hours. Sometimes it went 5, sometime 2, sometimes every number in between. Remember…pooping and peeing, period. This may also help James sleep through the night sooner. (6-8 weeks of age) Confirmation of weight gain at one month told me everything I needed to know…that when babies are hungry they will awaken without prodding!!
6. Follow your gut instincts…
Just my two…Most of us are capable of more than we think and I am so glad you found that more love was what you needed!
Heather says:
Number 5 makes me feel sooo much better, because he DOES sometimes go five-hour stretches and I spend the last two wringing my hands, wondering if I should wake him…when really, I should be SLEEPING!
Heidi says:
Never wake a sleeping baby unless he isn’t gaining at all or doesn’t have enough wet diapers. Enjoy those 5 hour stretches and try to sleep.
And once you get to the place where breastfeeding doesn’t hurt and becomes easy, you’ll be glad you stuck it out. SOOOO much easier than measuring formula when out and about. But I’m also a believer in doing both, formula and breast milk, if you need a break.
You have to do what works for YOU. Your baby will thrive either way. *hugs*
Maria says:
I 100% agree with this.
Annalisa says:
Yup. Look at it this way: any five hour stretches you get now he will more than make up for when he’s undergoing a growth spurt.
When my daughter hit 4 weeks, she started crying for food every hour on the hour. It was the early days of breastfeeding, and we had just gotten to a point where I wasn’t dreading it half the time anymore, and her increased demands for food almost drove me nuts. Then, as suddenly as she had started feeding on the hour, she stopped. After that week long roller coaster of emotion (I started to call myself “the booby bottle” because I felt like a pair of walking boobs all the time), I never dared do anything to cause her to be awake any more than she needed to.
KC says:
Congratulations! Every baby is different and its great to reevaluate with each. I made it 15 weeks with supplements then full formula with my first but my 2nd I made it to 15 mos.
So for me it was bad and hard the first 6 weeks but improved every 2. I think 6 weeks was a huge turning point because he started stretching the night time sleep at 5.5 weeks. It’s amazing what a little sleep will do for your sanity!
So this is my suggestion – I say reevaluate every 2 weeks. Once you get to 6 I bet it won’t be such a chore. You know what happened when I got to 12 weeks? I felt it was actually easier than bottles! Which I never would have said after my first child being bottle fed. At 12 weeks it was like auto pilot with no mess to clean up and nothing to prepare! By 6 mos it was simple.
Anyway you are doing perfect. Newborn boot camp is HARD. You are almost through it!
Love the pic. He sure is sweet.
Jill says:
I have no breastfeeding advice – but I have to comment that the picture of James = o.m.g.
Stephanie says:
Heather,
This post was absolutely wonderful to read. I breastfed and pumped and gave formula for the first 3 months of my son’s life born (born May 2010) until switching to formula exclusively. I still have guilt about it even though it was painful and he had a terrible latch the entire time. My second child born December 2011 wouldn’t latch and even the lactation consultation in the hospital said I had to switch to the “F” word as she called it although not before informing me that mothers who smoke crack and breastfeed were better beccause well, they breastfeed. What! I am due with my third and FINAL baby in August and while I plan to try breastfeeding yet again I have already stocked up on Playtex bottles. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. I hope I have the same strength as you to keep going with breastfeeding but I am doubtful. Your honesty is inspiring and it’s helpful to know there are others in the same boat and not just in one camp or the other. Your son is absolutely beautiful and I wish you and your family all the best.
Tam @ Nearly Not Quite says:
Please don’t feel guilty! Making a choice for your family about bottlefeeding your baby is your business and good on you for doing what you felt was right for your child. It makes me so sad that women are made to feel inferior or ‘less than” for how they feed their baby. Love your baby, feed your baby, you’re a great mother!
Heather says:
Wow. I hope you complained to the hospital because that lactation consultant needs to be fired. Completely unacceptable. You could also report her to whatever certifying body there is.
For the record: two preemies, one exclusively bottle fed with formula after week one, now 4 and 6 years old, and I am surprised by how much the formula feeding simply doesn’t matter in their day-to-day lives or their future. Here’s what does matter: Hold them as much as you can, hug and kiss, talk to them, set limits early. Everything else isn’t even a ripple in the water.
Heather says:
My mouth is HANGING OPEN at your LC! Like, I literally shouted WHAT out loud after I read that. That is just an evil thing to say. Anyway, I’m glad to hear that someone else has the same approach I did. I think that it’s good to give yourself permission in advance to feed your baby in whatever way necessary. Good luck with delivery and I hope that you are successful in your attempt to breastfeed but I know that no matter what, your baby will be just fine!!! xoxo
Maggie says:
Gah. I tried so.damn.hard. to breastfeed my son. It was just too much. The cracking, bleeding, and pain. I felt like SUCH a failure. *sigh* I got over it. My little guy just couldn’t latch on. My boobs were bigger than him! The stress of knowing the pain I would be enduring would have me a crying stressball the whole hour before feeding time. Formula was heaven! I wish more lactation consultants had the above poster’s DefendUSA attitude, it would keep so many Mom’s from feeling like crap.
Jena Healy says:
You can read too much. I read nothing, just let the baby try it, if it worked great if no no harm no foul. My best friend who was pregnant the same time, read any and everything, had specials come to her house, watched movies, baby just could not get in sync with momma. My BF was devastated. My oldest was a formula baby and my youngest was a breast fed baby. They are both strapping strong young men today and no one knows who was fed what how. Just remember it is so wonderful to have options and do not let yourself be ravaged with guilt like we parents tend to do. Agreed too James is beautiful!
Tracy says:
Unless you are going to grow an organic garden, thresh your own wheat, buy a couple chickens, catch your own fish, etc. etc., your kid is going to have to eat food that is not nature’s best, unnatural, etc. etc. at some time. My son was breastfed for about 2 weeks. He cluster fed, which meant I was nursing every hour. I physically couldn’t hold up, almost became delirious from lack of sleep and it threw me into a serious depression from the huge mommy guilt I suffered when we switched to formula. My son is now 11 years old, 5’1″ with a beautiful shape, and has been a straight A student in a highly competitive gifted program. He’s also very rarely sick. If your beautiful son switches to formula, he, like Annie, will be perfect and fine.
Natalie says:
No advice (no babies), but can I just say THAT HAIR?!?! Omg so cute!
maria says:
A balanced opinion on breastfeeding and formula?!? Prepare yourself for the wrath of the breastfeeding nazis! I loved breastfeeding, but I recognize it was super hard and I took more mother’s milk supplement than I care to remember. It took a lot of support from my husband to make it work. I’m not sure I’ll be able to go as long with breastfeeding number 2 when he/she comes along because one key factor in the success the first time around was sleeping when the baby slept…
P.S. Malta Goya, found in the latin section of super markets, will amp up your supply if you find it starting to drop.
Heather says:
Yeah, I have to say, the sleeping when the baby sleeps thing is pretty much impossible with a three-year-old around. ESPECIALLY my particular three-year-old!
Annalisa says:
This is when your parents and friends’ babysitting comes in handy. Whenever St. Grandma, Bampa, Aunts, Uncles, etc. is/are visiting, they need to take up as much of Annie’s time and attention as they can. They may have to take the lead on it, though.
My kid’s a total attention hog, and it’s normally just us and her (no family nearby), but with my level of fatigue during this pregnancy (think: needs 1-2 naps daily) her dad has pretty much had to point blank tell her “Mommy needs a nap, but I will play/color/read with you for the next 15/30/60 minutes while mom rests. Let’s let mom have some quiet time” At first she was unhappy and quite resistant to not Doing! Something! With Mommy! Right Now!, but nowadays she sort of gets it and just moves on to pestering daddy (of course, she gets extra snuggles and one on one mommy time later, for good measure).
When we have the eventual round of visitors next Fall, the rest of my family plans on pretty much doing the same thing her dad does now.
Alison says:
Here is what helped me in the beginning, and I know it sounds weird but it really did make my nips feel better and heal.
Salt water dip. I got those little cups from the hospital they bring your pills in, warm water and a tsp or two of salt. And held those things on my nipples for a minute 3-4 times a day then let them air dry. It truly did take the pain away. And now my toddler thinks that is what those cups are for. So if he sees one he tries to put it on me. AWKWARD!
And really, it’s not like by formula feeding you love your child any less. Do what is right for both of you.
JoAnn says:
Breast feeding is hard. It’s just hard. Physically, emotionally. I can remember struggling in the hospital and at home, and being barraged by more judgemental, critical and seemingly belittling lactation consultants than I’d care to recall. I ended up doing what was right for us. I formula fed at night when I started feeling like I was going to lose my mind from being up every hour. And I switched to using nipple shields when my nipples were so damaged that they looked like hamburger meat. My position was that I was so stressed, anxious and upset that my dear son being subjected to my bad attitude was cancelling out any benefits of the feeding. So I did what I felt was right and I now have a healthy, strong, brilliant (ok, maybe a bit biased!), beautiful little 5 year old boy who is rarely ill. My point is- you are doing what is right for you, and that is what ends up being best for your baby in the end.
On a separate note? My heart almost exploded from the cuteness that is that sweet little baby! Oh my gosh!
Andrea says:
What an adorable little peanut you have there! Congratulations on a healthy baby boy!
Don’t beat yourself up about breastfeeding. If you do what is best for you, you will ultimately be doing what is best for James. Good luck with everything!
Amy says:
Hang in there! With my first, I was ready to give up at about 2 weeks…if formula wasn’t so expensive and I hadn’t felt a bit of shame.
BUT all of a sudden, it got better. He got it , I healed, he slept longer, he started gaining weight (it is NORMAL for bf babies to gain a bit slower at first and then catch up…my son started VEERRRY slowly and then gained a pound in a week) and bf’ing was the best thing after that.
I loved not having to prep or clean up anything, it was free and so soothing for him and it really forced me to sit down and take some time away from everything else.
I was ff and I think I turned out just fine, but I am so glad I stuck with bf’ing because it turned out to be such a blessing.
Amanda says:
Yeah, that sleep thing – not fun. Every mama has to sleep – it’s just *hard* being everything to everyone right now.
Sleep is not an overrated thing.
Support for breast or bottle from me – whichever lets you have the most blissful experience for all of you!
Courtney says:
The thing about breast feeding is that it’s hard even when it’s easy. I mean … My first had a terrible latch (he was tiny like Annabel) and we supplemented and pumped and used a shield and my supply was terrible etc etc. Second kid, latch was perfect, but I actually had an oversupply and over active letdown, so she was choking and gagging on it. Literally too much of a good thing! BUT–because it was important *to me*–I stuck with it. Nursed my first until 16 months and I hope I can go as long with my second.
I’ll echo the other commenter’s suggestion for all-purpose nipple cream. You have to get it at a compounding pharmacy, but it helps a lot. And after you get over the hump of those first few weeks, nursing does get better if you want to stick with it. It’s so cozy and sweet (and, eventually, easy, I swear to God). But it doesn’t have to be all or nothing! You can nurse during the day and do formula at night, or whatever works for you and your family. Just enjoy that sweet boy.
Margaret says:
Awww Heather, you’re doing great! It does get easier, I swear! With my son it took six weeks for him to outgrow a slight tongue tie and so much pain and then with my daughter I was shocked that we were doing great after two weeks! I breastfed both of them for 18 months (daughter’s still going! Bonus (well, and negative) wasthat I found out after my son that I’m one of the small percentage of women who doesn’t get pregnant while breastfeeding at all, despite the return of my cycle.
TamaraL says:
What a great picture!! He is so handsome.
Yay for breastfeeding! But yayy for you being realistic and giving yourself a break if you need to. Just keep taking it one day at a time and everyone will be happy!
Casey P says:
I STRUGGLED for 6 long weeks to nurse my daughter. Sometimes she would latch, sometimes she wouldn’t. I had 5 seperate lactation consultant meetings, and finally gave up after 6 weeks. To this day, I still wish it had been more successful, but I try not to beat myself up over it. Just wanted to throw this out there in case it’s helpful: I too had sore and cracked nipples, and I know a lot of people mention the lanisoh cream. I tried that and my nipples itched like MAD. Turns out, I’m probably allergic to wool (which is what is in lanisoh). I’ve never tried this, but I’ve heard good things: http://www.amazon.com/Earth-Mama-Angel-Baby-Natural/dp/B000JVCBBG/ref=br_it_dp_o_nS_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=3TS24MKRS12PQ&coliid=I4HNK9OF4VO1M I am now 26 weeks pregnant and will try breastfeeding again. You are an awesome mom for even trying it! Whatever you decide to do, you and Mike are awesome parents. And James is clearly loved – that’s the most important thing. Keep up the good work, mama
twingles says:
I feel for ya. I was traumatized by not gbf my twins but I was over it by the time DD came along. She was also a great nurser but I was just too exhausted with toddler twins and the need to constatntly nurse, also after a difficult pg. I do wish I had stuck with it, but not in a traumatized way, more of a nostalgic way.
Good luck and yu are right – there’s way more that goes into parenting than one decision.
Sarah says:
Oh my goodness, that picture! It made me laugh and tear up at the same time!! What a gorgeous boy!
Good luck with the nursing! It’s a great experience but also very self sacrificing.
Congrats on James! So happy for your family.
Amy says:
Get the Medela nipple shields. They saved my breastfeeding “relationship” with my daughter and I wound up being “that woman” that nursed for 26 MONTHS! Crazy! Before we left the hospital, the nurses were calling my daughter a barracuda b/c of what she’d done to my nipples. The nipple shield offered protection but also taught her how to latch on correctly. Good luck!
Heather says:
ha, I call James my Little Barracuda because of how he GOES FOR IT!
Becca says:
No info on breastfeeding here, but I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore the pictures you’re posting that have your hand in them for size reference. They really highlight how tiny he is. (Tiny, of course, in a healthy newborn way) I love it!
JMH says:
HE IS SOOO CUTE!! Love his hair Do what is best for you…I breastfed AND supplemented with formula with both of my kids from the day they were born. They turned out fine (both are on the honor roll!) Hope you get some sleep soon
Natalie says:
You are doing great!! Breastfeeding IS hard in the beginning but it gets sooo much better. Ask your LC for APNO (all purpose nipple ointment) and slather that s* all over. Its a prescription and your nips will thank you.
Hope says:
He looks so much like baby Annie in that picture!!
Breastfeeding is tough! Whatever you decide will be the right decision.
Ninabi says:
I think you are wise not to worry too much about breast feeding, formula, etc.
In ancient times (early 1960s), my mother in law used formula, as most mothers did back then.She made her own, recommended by the pediatrician. She was a scientist herself and apparently everyone thought this was up-to-date and appropriate for babies.
Cow’s milk. Corn syrup. And…a few drops of alcohol if the baby was colicky.
I listened in horror. Who gives THAT to an infant?
My husband grew up and got his PhD and has a successful career, despite the horrific concoction that was in his baby bottle.
Your baby is precious and however he is fed, he will bloom. I admire all you have gone through to have him- it’s a testament to your love.
Christen says:
That is a GREAT attitude!!! Focus on TODAY. And every drop counts, momma!!! Do you have a pump still? You can pump and give him a bottle and let Mike help so you can get some rest. My husband was always amazing during middle of the night feeds. He would get the baby and see if there was any chance of snuggling them back to sleep and then waking me up to nurse the girls and then he would put them back in the bed.
And a nipple shield can be a LIFESAVER during times when you are healing! I used one with both of my girls and went on to nurse them until 15 months (when they self weaned).
Natalie says:
This. With our twins I BF’d and pumped after feedings to both keep my supply up and put a little milk away. My husband would give them bottles for the midnight feeding and I could sleep for more than 1.5 hours at a time, at least once a day. It was great that he had special daddy feeding time with them and I got some rest. It was also great because they got used to bottle feedings very early, so that when I was away from them for whatever reason (at work, out for a much-needed-adult-evening-with-husband) they would take the bottle readily. We still bonded, but I didn’t need to have them ON MY BODY AT ALL TIMES (more difficult with twins than with one baby anyway). So hey, maybe you can still put those bottles you bought to use
James is gorgeous, by the way. He makes me miss those sleepless foggy days more that I ever thought possible (my boys are 2 1/2 now). Congratulations on your beautiful family!
Madi says:
I’m so happy to hear you got a chance to give it a try! I hate to hear of cases where moms want to give it a try but don’t have the opportunity for whatever reason.
I wish I had some tips or advice, but I’ve never done it quite like that!
I have a serious aversion to the act of breastfeeding. I have no problem with other moms who opt for it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. This may sound stupid, but I couldn’t get past the primal, drinking-body-fluids element of it. I tried it with three kiddos and I was physically nauseated by the idea; I would literally vomit in disgust when I tried it — the sensation of nursing put me over the edge. (How’s that for post-partum hormones?!? LOL) I tried to power through it — I really wanted it to work out — but alas, it just wasn’t right for our family.
But I was really intent on giving my babies the advantage that breastmilk offered, so I was an avid pumper. That worked out really well. I was able to side step the aversion element of it and “forget” about where the milk came from when it was in a bottle. Plus, it allowed for my husband to feed them as well! We did that for a few months, and I think we got the best of both worlds! So that could be a nice idea if you’d like a nap(plus, pumping between feeds will increase your supply so you can get a bit of a stockpile in the freezer!)
Jessica says:
He is just the cutest baby!
Jess says:
I had so many similar struggles with breastfeeding and felt equally convicted to keep going — even though I hated it.
Ask for a prescription for Jack Newmann’s All Purpose Nipple Ointment. It isn’t as common in the US as it is in Canada, but it is a miracle for cracked and bleeding nips.
Joanna says:
Lanolin is crap for super cracked nipples. It looked like my daughter chewed holes in me. I ended up using an all purpose nipple ointment and Ameda Hydrogels for a month before I finally healed. Continue to see a lactation consultant. Be patient with latching. Don’t get him on there just to get him on.
Lindsey Cote says:
I’m with everyone else who recommended the nipple shield! I nursed successfully for a year with my first son using the shield, and my 7 week old is nursing perfectly and I am pain free! My sister, sister-in-law, and cousin all swear by them, too. Lactation consultants don’t seem to be fans, but I say if it means that baby is getting momma’s milk and momma is happy – it’s a good thing!
Becky says:
The Lansinoh cream hurt my nipples like a mother (no pun intended). It took forever to soften up, and then it didn’t spread well.
This Mother Love Nipple Cream is WAAAAAAAYYYYY better!!!!
It is based with olive oil. So it spreads easily and covers your nipples (plus you can use it on your lips or hands).
My cracked and bleeding nipples were healed within 48 hours of using this (I put it on after I every time I nursed).
Becky
Liz says:
Yes! Mother Love is great! I use it other places too–like my awful cuticles.
Lots of great advice here. I also used a nipple shield and it helped so much. Hopefully you and James will find your rhythm together. Kudos for trying! It is not easy.
He’s SO adorable!
erin says:
Aww hugs to you. I really really hope you can get over the breastfeeding hump (no pun intended ) because it’s beyond worth it…to make it to the part of breastfeeding that’s actually enjoyable. Good luck to you! You’re really amazing for giving this your all while dealing with so much else.
mikki says:
The fastest cure is a cup of warm water and a teaspoon of sea salt. Put it in mugs and hold those mugs up to your breasts. Leave it there for 5 min or so. Looks stupid with these mugs hanging off your boobs but it worked amazingly well to heal my meat-grinder looking nipples!
Debbie says:
I know this sounds crazy, but use warm tea bags!!! I had the same issues 33 years ago… and my doctor recommended that.. and it worked!!!
Kim says:
This is the hardest time Heather. But it WILL get better. I promise. At the 6 week mark it will seem like all the hard times were a bad dream. If you can make it to 6 weeks, you’ll be home-free.
Lactation consultants are worth their weight in gold. And leave the nipples out to dry as much as possible. If you have to say no to visitors in order to go topless, do so.
Kim says:
You know how I feel about breastfeeding. That said – you gotta do what is best for BOTH of you. Don’t beat yourself up. Do your best and know that no matter what, he is going to be okay.
If you can learn to nurse laying down, it makes it SO much easier at night. It is the only way I can nurse as long as I do because I can sleep while the baby eats. It takes a little bit of time for them to figure it out though. With Emma, it took a good 2 months before I felt confident nursing her. Hang in there Mama. xoxo
Tia says:
Oh my, he’s beautiful! I could give you lots of advice on breastfeeding, since I racked up 50 months of my life doing it. But I’m not going to. Every baby is so different. And you are his mama and you know what’s best for him. I love your honesty. Thanks for sharing your sweet family with us.
Jessica Stringer says:
APNO prescription was a life saver for me! It literally had me healed up in like 24 hours and my nipples hurt SO freaking bad and were cracked and bloody! Lanolin didn’t help me at all. I also used the nipple guard for after feedings so that the bra would not rub the nipples and it also lets air get to them. So helpful! Another thing is the Lansinoh gel pads…they feel pretty good too. If you want to keep breastfeeding, pump and let Mike feed him a bottle. I use the playtex nurser drop ins and we have had no nipple confusion. I work FT and pump during the day and then nurse at night and on weekends. A helpful website is http://www.kellymom.com and I’m also on some support groups on facebook…this milk matters is a great one with lots of helpful advice if you have any questions, need to vent, brag or whatever! Just do what’s best for you! You’ve already given him a great gift by starting whether you continue breastfeeding or switch to formula. Just do what’s BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY! He’s so precious! Congrats again!
Terri says:
After the 1st month it gets SO much easier. The pain goes away and it’s just so awesome to leave the house without all the bottles, formula,etc. Hang in there. I did not want to do it at all. It HURT but seriously after the first month went by I was like.. WOW, this is way better than washing all those bottles. We actually nicknamed our daughter the boobymonster in those first weeks. She would have this low growl when she got near me. Ouch! That girl liked to eat! lol. My first 2 were bottle/formula babies and I’ve never noticed a big difference in their health so I wouldn’t stress on that part.
emily says:
i give you so much credit for sticking it out and giving it your all. it’s NOT easy those first few weeks and the fact that you’re kicking ass, sore nipples and all, is amazing. i had terrible sores with my daughter and was told by some of my fellow mom friends to try to switch up nursing positions each time which can help “even out” the soreness. so, football hold one feeding, cradle hold the next. you can even try nursing while laying down on your side which gives another latch. just a suggestion, but mostly sending you hugs and good vibes. however it works out, you’re doing an awesome job!!
Mommy says:
I am a huge fan of breast feeding and breastfed both of my boys past for more than a year each.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with formula. It was invented for a reason. NO JUDGEMENT for anyone who chooses to use it. Formula fed babies are no less loved or nurtured, and all these mommy wars over boob vs. formula need to stop. Not everyone can or wants to nurse exclusively, and I truly wish everyone would live and let live and realize that everyone has to do what is right for their families and their babies. Ugh.
There’s my soapbox rant and now here’s some unsolicited advice:
1. Give yourself a pat on the back. Breastfeeding is hard. Even in the best circumstances, it’s hard. Especially at first. And you had such a hard pregnancy to begin with. It’s demanding, it’s painful, and you get little to no sleep. Not. Easy. Not to mention you are chasing after a 3 year old all day too! I’m exhausted just thinking about it. You are doing great and you need to give yourself some credit, super mommy!!
2. Breastfeeding gets sooooo much easier around the 4 week mark. Their mouths are bigger so they can latch on better, their tummies are bigger so they can eat more, which helps your supply increase, and allows them to stay full/sleep longer, and they become more efficient so nursing sessions don’t take nearly as long. I know 2 more weeks seems like a long time away, but if you can hang in there a little longer, it will get better.
3. Get your cute little butt to the Pump Station in Westlake Village. Their lactation consultants are amazing, they have every breast feeding supply and gadget you could ever need or want, and they have breast feeding support classes where you can bond with other mommies over your lack of sleep or bloody nipples. They could also help you establish a pumping schedule if you want, so someone else could give little James a bottle every once in a while and let you get some rest!
Hang in there mama! It will get better, and no matter what you choose- to continue nursing exclusively, to supplement with formula, or to move to only formula, that sweet little James will be happy, healthy, nurtured and loved. And that’s all that matters. Period.
Jen says:
First kid: blisters on my nipples witin 24 hours of birth. Her latch LOOKED ok to the nurses but it was very shallow. Less than a week after birth, she was spitting up MY blood. Started using a nipple shield with the help of an LC, who said if I needed to while we fixed the latch. 2 months in, we took the shield away and did great. She nursed until 14.5 months. No formula, but she was also a great sleeper, and I responded easily to the pump (I went back to work full time when both my kids were 12 weeks).
2nd kid: Initially it seemed like the same latch problems, but I knew from the get go it felt wrong, and was able to adjust her latch WHILE she was latched on. Nipples cracked and got sore, but I went heavy with the Lanisoh and within 2 weeks, things healed and her latch was great. She nursed for 18 months, also no formula.
Your nipples WILL heal I promise.
Keep up the good work.
jessi says:
In case it hasn’t been mentioned, I have friends who’ve sworn by APNC (all-purpose nipple cream). You have to get a prescription for it, but it’s supposedly a miracle worker for suffering, overworked nips. Any OB or midwife should be able to request it.
Too many comments for me to read – “ain’t nobody got time for that!” I’m sure others have chimed in with how the engorgement will even out, how by six weeks (which may seem like an eternity) it should be easier and by two months it should be a breeze, etc., etc. You’re in the trenches now, so I’d give the not-asked-for advice to not make any irreversible decisions in the next few weeks until the craziness of life with a brand-new newborn settles a bit. But I’ve read your blog long enough to know that your sleeping habits aren’t always awesome (not a criticism!) and that the combination of hormones + anxiety + sleep deprivation can be a real issue. My first two were EBF until 9-ish months, and my third was mostly BFed but got one bottle of formula a day because…well, he was my third and he got the shaft a lot of the time, and I needed someone else to be able to feed him on occasion. It eventually affected my supply and I stopped BFing earlier than I’d wanted to because of it, but I don’t regret figuring out the best combination of methods that worked for me. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Good luck figuring out what works best for your entire family!
ldoo says:
My only advice is that it will get better…if it still hurts really badly after you heal, then his latch may still be wrong…and formula is there for a reason. You’re doing great!
Also, I can’t get over how cute he is and what a combo of his sisters he looks like.
Jill says:
Hi Heather!
I remember the first few weeks of nursing! OUCH. I was not a big fan of the Lansinoh lanolin as I found it didn’t spread well. My sister sent me “Motherlove Herbal Nipple Cream” from Amazon and I really preferred it! Air is the best healer though so spend as much time as possible with your nipples dry and exposed. Nursing gel pads (both Lansinoh and Ameda sell these) put in the fridge and applied immediately after nursing can also give you some relief. If you haven’t already – check into nursing support groups. Many hospitals or La Leche leagues have these and I think having access to other nursing moms is invaluable! Good luck!
KeraLinnea says:
Whatever is right for you and yours is what you should do, whether that means exclusively breastfeeding, formula feeding, or a combination of the two. That said, right now, you are right in the middle of the toughest part of breastfeeding–your breasts and nipples haven’t toughened up yet, AND you’re badly sleep deprived. In two more weeks, your breasts will have adjusted to the abuse (seriously, beautiful, natural thing and all, but DAMN. Breastfeeding can be straight-up barbaric)and James will probably start sleeping longer stretches. It’s one of the sucky aspects of motherhood, that you have to try to force yourself to be strong at a time when your reserves are at an all-time low. Good luck Heather, and remember, James is your baby and any decision you make regarding feeding is the right one. It’s formula, not poison. He’s gonna be happy and healthy either way, so do what feels right for your family.
Also–THAT HAIR. OMG. He is such a cutie!
Kymmi says:
No advice here, looks like you have a ton of it already! Just wanted to say that you have an awesome attitude. First rule of feeding babies – feed the baby. You’ll figure out what works best for your family.
Hoping for rest for you soon.
Lisa says:
It does get easier and he won’t want to eat all the time anymore. You are doing an amazing job and I think you have the perfect approach. Breastfeeding is wonderful and I’m a huge advocate of it, but only if it is working for both mother and baby. So, I think having the attitude that you will do this as long as it is working for both of you is the right attitude to have.
Lanolin cream works great and using soft, cotton reusable breast pads versus the disposable kind can help too.
Jamie says:
I tried bf my first baby for five days. We both cried every time. I gave up and happily (ok, maybe a smidge of mommy guilt) moved on to formula. It was amazing how much more relaxed I became. Happy mommy=happy baby. She is a pretty healthy girl too, she didn’t have an ear infection until she was five years old.
Michelle says:
Yowch! I remember the horror of the first several weeks of breastfeeding my first daughter. Panicking when she unlatched and there was blood all over her face and in her mouth, and then realizing it was from me. Gah!
But I will say, I don’t know how or why I stuck it out (and I was a single teen mom with ZERO help with her) but I did and then went on to have two years of completely successful breastfeeding with her.
I had three more eventually (not as a teen, or single, but my hubby was never one to get up at night with babies, breastfed or not) and two were successfully breastfed, and one was a preemie and unable to, and I SUCKED at pumping and was such a wreck over it, and he had to have formula, and that was just that. Guess what, he’s 9 years old now and JUST FINE. I don’t love him any less than my other kids, or have any closer bond with the other ones than him. He is certainly prone to getting sick but I firmly believe that’s due to his start as a preemie and his battle with chronic lung disease as a baby/toddler and nothing to do with being formula fed.
Just do WHATEVER WORKS for you and James. He’ll be just fine!
That all said, congrats for making it 13 days so far with breastfeeding!!! If it does “work out” it truly TRULY gets so much easier, and it’s worth this early struggle, exhaustion, and PAIN.
Marie says:
Because I am older and a grandmother also, I was in the generation where people used formula and bottles. I tried breast feeding with my first one who was born early, small and jaundiced. It didn’t work, I moved on and had no regrets whatsoever. So basically all my children were bottle fed and they are all geniuses!! lol. I have never understood the whole breast fed dilemma/guilt thing because the formula is so good now that you could live off it also. Don’t be afraid to do what your heart tells you. And your body!!
He’s such a cutie and love the faux hawk!
Hugs from Minnesota
Marie
Rashmi says:
You have got lots of helpful advice, but would still like to add – Please know that it will get better. I had a wonderful breastfeeding experience with my son, and was so looking forward to it with my daughter too. But I was taken aback with the wounds and pain the second time. I realized I had inverted nipples – a nipple shield helped me. It will take time, but it will get better. Nonetheless,do what works for you. Good luck to you.
Mary Brock says:
I breastfed both of my kids. My 1st, only for a month because my milk stopped coming in. And my 2nd, for the 1st 2 months, and then I had to switch to formula because he wanted to eat every 2 hours. EVERY 2 HOURS, 24 HOURS A DAY. It was so hard being the only one who could feed him. I hope things get easier for you, but if not, its ok to give him formula. I don’t understand why women always feel the need to make you feel bad if you don’t breastfeed. On another note, James looks so much like Annie as a baby!! All of your children are absolutely beautiful! So happy for you and your family!!
Michelle says:
Good GRAVY, you Spohrs make BEAUTIFUL babies! And I just want to say good job to all the tired mommies. No matter how you are feeding those babies, with breasts or with bottles or with combos of the two, you are doing a great job. Be gentle with yourselves.
Heather P. says:
Keep up the good work!! I’ve nursed all 4 of my kids successfully. Getting through the 1st 6 weeks is key. Learning to lay on my side to nurse was the best thing in helping me enjoy nursing. I didn’t like sitting up for extended time at night nursing(killed my neck and shoulders). Also, being around other breastfeeding moms really helps in feeling like there’s a support system in case there are difficulties. La Leche League is an awesome group, available in most cities. Moms(Dads are welcome) can go and most people even bring their kids to meetings. The leaders lead the meetings which have a different topic about breastfeeding each month. And its free!!! James is such an adorable baby!!
Beth says:
I have no breastfeeding advice other than to hang in there because no matter what you do, it will get easier! Do what works for YOU and for your family. I was able to breastfeed my daughter, but my twin boys arrived when she was a little over two, and I knew that I wasn’t going to breastfeed them exclusively, because it would have made me jump out of a window (and we live in a ranch, so how embarrassing! I’d probably just twist my ankle). So they had breastmilk and formula and everyone is all older and fine.
Really just came here to say that most newborns are not that cute. But James? Wow. What a cute, alert sweet-faced little boy! :))
jenny says:
I had same problem. I ended up buying that lamosil breast cream and pumping for awhile, to give my breasts a break. Way less painful pumping, vs hungry baby! give yourself a little break. its soooo worth it. After you’re healed, you won’t have any pain. its so special
Inga says:
You’re probably tired of reading comments by now, but I just want to send some encouragement. The first 2-3 weeks of breastfeeding are HARD! I have red hair and fair skin and my nipples were black and blue and bleeding by day 2 (and my son had a great latch). They hurt so badly and I was so tired and stressed and hormonal that I sat up at night crying my eyes out while I fed my son. I wanted to give up and my hubby gave me the tough love that I had previously asked for, telling me that we weren’t using formula and I was doing a great job. I’m not recommending that for you, but its what I wanted. My point is that no matter how long you nurse for, you are doing your baby a tremendous favor! Your sacrifice is so worth it! I’m 8.5 months in and breastfeeding quickly turned into something that I LIKE to do, and I am so glad I pushed through the pain. The reward is just around the corner!! Also…. the hair! OMG His hair is the best!!!!! Congrats Spohrs!
mar says:
Do what you and Mike and your doctor feel is right. Someone said above, and I agree – as long as he is pooping and peeing, there is nothing wrong with on demand feeding right from the start. Did it with all 3 kids. Youngest was sleeping 6 hour stretches by 6-7 weeks – it happens faster than you think! It’s just hard to see the forest for the trees right now. You know enough to know that they will be hollering when they are hungry!
I had c-section and super tough pregnancy with the last, and while I had enough milk for feeding, there never seemed to be any extra. When you spend that much time breastfeeding, to spend even more time pumping is tough!
And one bottle of formula at night is not going to keep him from being an amazing kid/boy/man – you, his parents, will take care of that! Better to have a sane mom!
Sarah says:
I’m incredibly impressed that you were even interested in trying after all you’ve been through! it is a lot of hard work. I’m pretty sure one of nipples shattered during my last – and final- newborn experience. it did recover though. I’ve had a hard time with supply, my youngest has been a slow gainer her entire two years. it can be so frustrating. it can be the detest thing ever, too. I think its awesome that you’re giving it a shot. I hope you’ve had some of the good times with it to balance out the painful! of my three, my son was the ”best” and easiest nurser, too. you just gotta do what you gotta do, he’s going to be fed and loved and happy as long as you guys are his parents.
jenny says:
I should have said too, by pumping it’ll give Mike a chance to feed the little guy. he sure is a cute little baby!
erica says:
It will get better! Maybe you need a day of rest, or maybe even a feeding or two. If you pump for a few feedings and have someone else feed her your girls will get a rest. You can get an extra nap, and maybe you’ll feel more refreshed to tackle it? I know that worked for me, and for one of my friends. She was ready to quit and took a 24 hour break instead. She said it allowed her some good time to heal and changed the entire experience for her.
Is it just me or does James look just like Annie? Congratulations dear Spohr family. He is beautiful.
cureibd says:
Get some hydrogel dressings, from the bf aisle at bru. This type of dressing is used on burns patients… it worked miracles for my breastfeeding “wounds”. Creams and home remedies did not help me at all, but the hydrogel helped me heal up and scab over quickly.
Michele says:
I didn’t read all the comments but a very easy way to soothe sore nipples – cool, wet tea bags. I had horribly sore, bleeding nipples with my second before we left the hospital and a nurse suggested the tea bags. They felt so good. It took us awhile to get the hang of it, much different than my first. Lettuce leaves will help with the pain of engorement. I had to use a cream when he ended up with trush but I can’t remember what it was.
Good luck. He’s a doll!
Steph says:
He is too adorable! I hope for your sake your body heals and allows you to breastfeed. and not so much for his sake, ’cause he will be fine either way. it is just that IMO breastfeeding is so much EASIER than bottlefeeding once you get past the hard, early days. no washing bottles, mixing formula or pumping, etc. and i just loved the experience but realize that I was fortunate to have babies who latched easily. I love how the comments that I saw were all supportive of whatever decision you make!
Amy says:
two things: coconut oil and all purpose nipple ointment. APNO requires a prescription and a compounding pharmacy to make it, but it is 100% worth it–will save your poor aching nipples and make BF as enjoyable as it should be! Good luck
Tina says:
I share the same views as you Heather. Do your best and as long as your baby is fed, you’re doing a good job. My first wasn’t breast fed but I think I’ll try when I have a second. If it doesn’t work for me then I’ll have no guilt giving formula. Take good care my friend. James is just gorgeous.
Sweet says:
Heather: Congratulations on your beautiful baby. I have been following your story for years now and I am so happy for your family. I breastfed all three of my kids. With my third, my nipples got SO sore that I did something that I don’t hear about often, but it really saved me so I thought I would pass it on. One of my nipples was extremely sore — so I stopped breastfeeding on that side and pumped instead. That ALSO gave my husband and kids a chance to feed the baby bottles of breast milk from that side. In the meantime, I continued to breastfeed on the other side. When the first side had healed (maybe 3 days?) the second side had become sore so I did the same thing on the second side — only pumped from that side for several days while breasfeeding on the other. I went through that process once and after that things went more smoothly. However, I continued so sometimes pump so my baby would always accept a bottle or the breast. I wouldn’t hesistate to combine pumping and breast feeding if you have the stamina — it allows Mike and Anabel to help with feeding while allowing you to continue breastfeeding. I know some people are concenred about nipple confusion etc. etc., but my baby boy had a good latch and was a flexible child from day one, so I figured he would adapt — and sure enough he did.
KH says:
If you haven’t learned side-lying nursing, try it. It can make a huge difference in terms of not being exhausted during frequent night nursing. Good luck!
Karen says:
Cabbage leaves – savoy or similar – nice and cold from the fridge for engorgement. Works, honest. Especially when you finish breast feeding
I was ‘lucky’ with both mine. I had a plentiful supply, sometimes too much, and both latched well and easily. But I couldnt use a pump, it just didnt work, which is a pity since I had so much milk. Baby 2 was a very hungry baby though and 15 hours after birth was whisked away in the middle of the night by a wonderful midwife for a bottle as she had bee feeding for 4 hours! She wolfed a full 4oz and slept 12 hours, woke breast fed then had 3oz of a bottle. Fortunately she settled into a routine after that! It was good though as she would happily take breast or bottle without complaint, baby 1 would only take breast.
Both started with feeds every 2 hours but settled within 3 weeks to 4 hours and I learnt to fed on my side – useful when co-sharing. I know, I know they say you shouldnt but I needed sleep at 2am and I slept lightly, always knowing where the baby was.
H
Cameron says:
Find a local breastfeeding support group. Look up your local IBCLCs. It’s a wonderful way to learn this skill, develop a bond with your baby and be with other mothers who can be a huge source of support and humor and strength for you. I had huge problems breastfeeding my first baby. But I stuck with it and found the right LC and a whole community of moms I love and lean on. I I’d planned to give up after six months and switch to formula. I wound up working full time and nursing each of my sons until they were 18 months and 22 months respectively. Hard as it was in those first few weeks before I figured it out, I wouldn’t trade the comfort, security, and ease of it for anything.
If you need any recommendations or just to talk about it, I am available any time for a mom who needs help.
ella says:
Heather, has your hyperendemisis (sorry, I clearly effed that up) subsided? I know you said you’d be back to your old self a little after his birth. Here’s hoping you’re not too nauseous to eat everything you couldn’t!
Heather says:
YES! I threw up a couple of times in the hospital, but I attribute that to pain, not HG. My appetite has been slow to return but I’m keeping everything down and it’s been soooo amazing!
Steph says:
So glad you are not nauseous anymore and are able to eat well. To be nauseous the entire pregnancy blows my mind. You are such a trooper. Congrats again on your beautiful baby boy!
Sister SIster says:
I know the lactation people will tell you not to do this. It will interfere with latch-on, etc…They are the experts but sometimes things don’t go text-book and you have to improvise. I have to say that if not for discovering, and using, nipple guards when my 6yr. old was born I never would have made it past the first 3 weeks to breastfeed for about 6 months. They weren’t the “miracle cure” I was hoping for, but they were enough of a buffer to help me be able to bear the whole painful, cracking nipple situation until they were able to stand by themselves(sorry…my best way to put it). I had figured that it didn’t matter if it interfered with latch-on because I just couldn’t make it through another day of feeding for an hour every 2 hours. It kept me from quitting. You’re so right! Do what you can and realize that even if long-term breastfeeding doesn’t happen the most important needs for James are being met wonderfully.
Anne says:
Lanolin is good for protection but not healing and pain. I used Dr jack Newman ‘s famous’ all purpose nipple cream’ with my now three month old and it is the *only* thing that helped. It is a mix of a steroid cream, an antibiotic and an anti yeast infection cream. It helps Soooooo much with the pain. Google it. You have to have your doc prescribe it and the pharmacy can mix it (or you can do that yourself). It helps instantly and is amazing! I was in horrible pain due to an improper latch but was able to get through it and continue to exclusively breastfeed. Baby is three months old now and we are both happy.
Sarah says:
Hi Heather,
Do you want to sob sobs of delicious soothing relief because for the first time since baby was born your nipples aren’t in burning agony? Do you want to feel heaven on earth in your boobal region? Then by all means, ask Mike to RUN (not walk) to the drugstore to buy Lansinoh gel soothers. At ten bucks a pair, they don’t come cheap (but who can put a price on happy nipples?). I had two pair in rotation: one pair in the fridge, the other on my nips. I would go through the agony of the first week of bfing again JUST SO I COULD USE GEL SOOTHERS. They are that good. Gel soothers. Get them. Gel soothers.
Also, I know many have recommended nipple shields, but please read about them on kellymom, or make sure a trusted IBCLC recommends their use. They can cause blocked ducts, which can rapidly turn into mastitis, which then is treated by antibiotics, which then can cause thrush. Mastitis and thrush are the bogeymen of breastfeeding! One of the ways they cause blocked ducts, FYI, is because they can interfere with milk removal. When there is milk leftover in the breast (I.e. baby doesn’t drain breast properly) the breast ducts are signaled to produce a hormone that decreases the amount of milk produced. Over time, this will decrease your supply. Many women use shields at the beginning and then struggle with supply for the rest of bfing because the first six weeks are when your “baseline” of milk supply is established. There is a time and a place for shield use, though, but, as I said, make sure an IBCLC has laid eyeballs on your boob before using one.
Finally, for fantastic online bfing support, may I recommend the kellymom Facebook group?
Good luck!
Annalisa says:
That side effect is easily remedied by having a breast pump handy for after the feed. I ended up with three of them: a manual one, a portable electric, and a heavy duty one. For me, shields allowed me to feed on demand without the pain, which did help bolster my supply. Before them I was struggling to meet demand (hence the heavy latch), whereas the three months I wore them consistently (i.e., after four weeks of agonizing daily pain) my supply kept going up.
Besides, all sorts of things can cause plugged ducts, including weaning, and I weaned my kid super sloooowly (think: skipping a feed every couple of weeks, as kid demand dictated).
Sarah says:
I’m glad that shields helped you feed your baby the way you wanted to. I noticed that every comment before mine suggested shields, so I wanted to make sure that anyone reading and considering using shields knew that there are potential complications from them. For some people pumping may work – my breast does not react to the pump at all, however, and I had such bad oversupply that my let down would (literally!) hit the opposite wall! Like everything in parenting, it seems, some things work for some people that don’t work for others. Shields can save a breastfeeding relationship for sure, but they can also harm one. I wish there were one-size-fits-all answers to parenting, but I’ve yet to encounter any (except love your baby, feed your baby, etc.). This makes it SO HARD to know what to do, and I’m sorry if my comment has made it more agonizing for anyone to make the decision to use shields. I offered it in the spirit of “what would I want to know if I were making this decision?” I had scabbed up nipples that were toe-curlingly painful, but with coconut oil and gel soothies (seriously, love them!) the pain became VERY manageable for me. If it hadn’t, I would absolutely have gone on to the next step, which would have probably been a shield (then supplementing, then stopping bf altogether). Here’s the kellymom link to nipple shields: http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/wean-shield/
Nadinsche says:
I don’t have any advice about the breastfeeding stuff but this picture of James made me go “aaaaahhhh”!!!!
Amy says:
At risk of sounding gross, breastmilk in itself is great for healing nipples. Just express a bit and spread it on your nipples and let them air dry. It truly is really helpful.
Good luck mama, I know how hard the breast feeding schtick is. Honestly, I persevered longer than is sane and it really did become easier. Wayyyyyy easier. So easy, that soon I stopped longing for her to be bottle fed. Well, the never getting a break doesn’t get easier, but we started this thing where I would feed her, then leave immediately after, so I had like, at least 2 hours to myself. If I was needed at 2 hours, I would come home, but if I wasn’t, I would stay out as long as I could. Also, eventually you may be able to get a supply of pumped milk in the freezer for late night feeds or a break, or do some formula on the side for the late night feeds.
Lisa says:
I am gonna go with don’t stress about it and enjoy him. My daughter would not latch on, my milk barely came in. I tried to pump, would get like nada. After about 3 weeks of pumping to get like half an ounce. I stopped the stressing myself out and said screw this. Formula is great, they sleep longer and it fills them up. With breast milk it is hard to determine if they have gotten enough or not. And my Ava was in no way harmed by being a formula baby. In fact, this little girl is too smart and sassy. Much props for whatever you decide, breast feeding is soooo hard with a new baby. Maybe you try those new breast milk lolipops!!! Yum!!!
ColleenMN says:
Air drying helps. It does get better but don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work. I will say this, don’t fret about “if they are getting enough.” If they are done, they have enough. If his tongue is wet and he has tears, he is fine. I actually hated breast feeding in the beginning, after I got the hang of it, I loved the closeness. I would absolutely make formula a part of the plan and not get too wrapped up in pumping…unless it makes you feel better. Enjoy, he looks like Annie in the picture
Laura B says:
I had bleeding blistered nips for almost 3 months. I couldn’t take it anymore and started formula. For us at the time it was the best decision we could have made. I couldn’t even hold my baby on my chest I was in constant pain. I tried every trick in the book. Good Luck momma!
Christina says:
Cutest picture of him yet. It softened the blow of how horrified I am at the thought of nipple wounds. What? How? Dude. Not cool. Is that normal? Clearly I’m a non-mom. A frightened non-mom.
I don’t love those die-hard breast feeding junkies/boobie nazis. They take it beyond helpful advice, sharing knowledge and respect for personal choice and go way into the middle of judgment town. Downtown judgment town. Theater district judgment town. It puts guilt on all the moms with struggles breastfeeding. Clearly, like you pointed out, a kid can turn out just fine on formula. And think about all those adopted babies who aren’t breastfed.
mel says:
Long story as short as possible…I went through a similar issue. You can use that lanolin stuff on the wounds and maybe to assist with engorgement and your ability to sleep, just pump as frequently as possible and store it. The pump, although not as efficient as the tiny human, will do the trick and may be a little less painful and demanding.
Best advice I can give and that was given to me by my midwife, pediatrician and lactation consultant:
Do what works best for you.
You are most important and the time spent with little man should be enjoyable for both. Hang in there.
Brooke says:
You’ve already gotten a lot of great advice here on nipple damage, but I wanted to weigh in with a few things I haven’t seen mentioned yet.
For context, my little one inflicted some SERIOUS nipple damage on me in the first week. We’re talking one nipple literally 3/4 gone and the other about 1/2 gone. It was so traumatizing — I felt really horrified at the state of my nipples. I had a very difficult time getting my nipples to heal after we had corrected her latch. The more damaged one actually didn’t heal until she was 4 months old. So.
Here is what finally worked for me (advice I got from a doctor who specilizes in latch problems, tongue ties etc. and sees a lot of nipple damage):
-Slather your nipple in ointment and then cover it with a square of sara wrap inside your bra. This keeps the nipple moist and allows for tissue regrowth. She recommended the Motherlove ointment that people have been mentioning here or coconut oil.
–Be careful of APNO. I used it and definitely agree with the folks who say it helps with the pain (it’s the anti anflammitories that help). However, the steroid can also thin your skin over time and actually make it more prone to damage. So beware of using APNO for too long as it could start to compound your problem.
–If you are sensitive to wool, Lansinoh is not a good idea. I was using it at first, but it was actually irritating my nipples more.
–If you are very damaged, water in the shower may sting. After a couple of very uncomfrotable weeks, I started wearing a bikini top into the shower. This was so helpful!
I really feel for you, Heather. Those first few weeks are very tough. Keep up the good work and be gentle with yourself!
staci says:
oh, he is so dreamy. how could you turn down that face?
i sucked at bf’ing. i’ve always wanted to try again because i had such a bad experience. someday, maybe.
but, i know that i learned about nipple shields too late. they may have saved me and my poor girls. yikes. my boy permanently scarred me, he did.
you just have to do what’s right for you. i felt so pressured to be a perfect bf’er when i probably could have been great at doing that + supplementing with formula because my supply was also low. to each her own.
i love that mike supports you. that’s half the goshdarn battle.
Cayenne says:
I’m 14 months into breastfeeding. It’s really not been easy, with clogged ducts every single month since month 1, food sensitivity issues the first 9 months, and just everything, but I am so glad we’ve done it. What’s right for you is entirely your journey, and I imagine you will figure it out either way.
A great thing I heard: Don’t stop breastfeeding on a bad day. I liked this because that guilt we’re all so prone to I think creeps in when we’re most vulnerable.
Sirena says:
Oh I like this comment! Like a lot of readers I was worried you’d be exposed to a lot of judgment… Overall, I like the idea of choosing to go out of whatever you experience on a high note – breastfeeding should be no exception, right? And I like the concept of making your decision on a good day, not a low point Good luck to you and cute baby James!
Lisa Noell says:
APNO All purpose nipple ointment which requires a Rx and a compounding pharmacy was my LIFESAVER. Recommended to me by a lactation consultant. It works WONDERS!! Lets just say a crying momma, a crying 2 year old (who was crying because my crying scared him), a screaming crying hungry newborn and a husband who probably wanted to cry and was cryiing on the inside from being so helpless… The ointment SAVED US ALL!!!
Jessica says:
I successfully breastfed all 3 of my kids and it was always hard in the beginning. Each one was different and I felt like a new breastfeeder even with my third. I promise it gets better and then someday, when you can run out the door with a change of clothes, diapers and wipes you’ll be glad you pushed through and don’t have to bring a diaperbag full of formula etc. Take a bottle break every once in a while and sleep a little longer :0)
Colleen says:
You’re already getting all the help under the sun from these wonderful ladies- I just wanted to say that you’re doing a great job! That little guy is just adorable and he looks as content and happy as can be!! Keep up the great work mama!
Fearless Formula Feeder says:
Heather, you know where I stand on all of this, so I won’t bore you. I’m thrilled it’s going well for you, if it is something you want to do – and I do believe that it gets easier as time goes on. I’ve heard 6 weeks is like the magic window, and after that it’s sunshine and roses.
But I also know that within our world (the parenting blogosphere) you are treated like a member of a special club if you are breastfeeding, and the “support” can also be a bit smothering – because the other side of comments like “so proud of you” and “you’re doing the best thing for your baby – congratulations” can haunt you in the night when you’re considering formula. Just know that no matter what, you are the strongest and most incredible woman and mother and it means jack squat if you breastfeed or not. I only care that you are healthy and enjoying your son, because you of all people deserve to have a happy, stress-free postpartum experience.
That said- I hope it continues to get better and better and you are able to feed James the way you want to feed him. Much love to you and the whole family!
Alyson says:
Longtime reader, first time commenter (maybe second time).
It DOES get easier. Yes, it is totally intense being the only person who can do the feeding, and it is HARD to have a baby be that physically attached to you all the time, but it is easier in some ways. No bottles to wash, no worries about having supplies when you leave the house. You can nurse anywhere if you have to. I loved being able to do it if we had plans that changed and we ended up being away from home longer than I thought we would be. It’s cheap! And you will love the memories of being so close to that baby for so much of the day.
But let me tell you, because I think people don’t say it honestly enough, it is effing hard as hell. I cried so many times and for so many tiny reasons. It’s just hard. So, so hard. I felt like it was easier for everyone else, and that made me want to give up because I felt like I was doing something wrong. I didn’t, and I’m glad I didn’t, but I wish I had heard earlier and more frequently that it is likely that you will be doing it correctly AND it will seem nearly impossible.
Keep going if you feel like you can, and stop if you feel like that’s the right thing. You have the support of all these breast-feeding and non-breastfeeding women.
Cheers and congratulations to you, and keep doing what works that day! Love to you.
Debi says:
My daughter breast fed both of her babies. She found that pumping and freezing the milk was a good way to let her husband help out (or me) with the feedings when she needed to sleep. She had so much milk frozen, that when she was finished breastfeeding she was able to donate it. Also when I breastfed (way back in the day) I had to use a nipple guard through all of my breastfeeding time. It did not affect my daughter and it gave me relief from the wear and tear nipples tend to take.
Andrea says:
I just wanted to say thanks for this! I’m pregnant with twins and know that being able to breastfeed them is faaar from a guarantee. As much as I’ve adopted that attitude that formula is perectly fine (seriously, I doubt that all of the members of MENSA and all of the Olympic athletes were EBF) it’s still so easy to get haunted by that damn “Breast is best” message because the unspoken flip side of that is “not breast is not best”. Thanks for being down to Earth and confident in your choices, it is helping me to do the same.
Also, that picture! Sigh….
Marin D says:
I had trouble trying to breastfeed baby #1 since she was small (my boob was literally bigger than she was). I was frustrated and tired. I pumped instead. It worked great for all of us. Others could help feed her and I could monitor how much she got. My second was in the NICU and at a different hospital than I was. I pumped but it wasn’t enough so she was formula fed in the NICU in addition to what I could squeeze out. But after I got my rhythm, we were a full pump station. Breastfeeding didn’t work out for me but thankfully, pumping did. And since I went back to work at three months, it was going to happen anyway. I am happy I did it (a year for each kid). I hope you feel better soon!
Amy says:
I wish I could say that there weren’t moms out there that think formula feeding is child abuse but there are. My friend has a sister who said that mom’s who best their kids and breastfeed ate better than moms who don’t beat their kids but formula feed. WTH?
I formula fed both my kids and did not feel one lick of guilt. My son didn’t get his first cold until he was 2.5 years old. He reads above his grade level and is the most outgoing boy you’ll ever meet. Conspiracy theorists are everywhere. I ignore them and go what I feel is best for us.
Clearly Annie was not harmed by formula. James will be fine as well!
PS I totally thought James was going to get the nickname Jamie. You know, MaddIE, AnnIE, and JamIE.
Amy says:
Let’s try this comment without errors.
I wish I could say that there weren’t moms out there that think formula feeding is child abuse but there are. My friend has a sister who said that mom’s who beat their kids and breastfeed are better than moms who don’t beat their kids but formula feed. WTH?
I formula fed both my kids and did not feel one lick of guilt. My son didn’t get his first cold until he was 2.5 years old. He reads above his grade level and is the most outgoing boy you’ll ever meet. Conspiracy theorists are everywhere. I ignore them and go with what I feel is best for us.
Clearly Annie was not harmed by formula. James will be fine as well!
PS I totally thought James was going to get the nickname Jamie. You know, MaddIE, AnnIE, and JamIE.
Karen says:
What is wrong with people?! That is crazy. (Your friend’s sister.)
Lisa says:
No time to read the hundreds of comments above, but I used a nipple shield for the first two months with my little man, who didn’t latch all that well in the beginning. I think it also protected me from much of the early nipple trauma… Then he started to take it off during nursing sessions (by turning his head back and forth) and one day when I attempted to start a session with it on, he gave me the world’s biggest pout! From that point on we didn’t use it anymore, and it’s been smooth sailing since. I feel incredibly lucky that it’s gone so well for us, and the bond we have established is so sacred to me – he loves to reach up and touch my face while he nurses, and I kiss his hand. *melt*
So, perhaps try a nipple shield?? It helped us both so much in those early weeks!
You’re a FANTASTIC mama no matter what! No question. James is so precious, and I know without a doubt that he is in wonderful hands with you!
Sandra says:
I’ve done both exclusive breast feeding and formula only, and am a nurse. I felt the guilt with my first for not being able to breast feed, and then got strange looks and comments for breast feeding my second “too long” (20 months). It’s all about what works for you, James and the rest of the family. As for nipple care, expressing extra milk and letting them air dry works great, and any nipple balm helps heal chapping and prevents further injury (so long as you and James are not allergic to it) I always tell my patients that how you feed your child is a personal decision, so long as both you and your baby are healthy and comfortable. Enjoy your precious little one!
Jessika says:
Somewhere on the internet is a really good diagram that shows that the first 6 weeks of breastfeeding are HARD but from there it actually gets easier for a nursing mother than a formula feeding one. It is amazing. Nursing healed all sorts of emotional birth-related wounds for me. I wish you much even more success in the future!
Katrina says:
First let me say that oh my gosh, that picture of him today — he’s so cute! and look at all the hair! he makes my little guy look like a bald little old man, lol. My newborns never have much hair, and what hair they are born with, they lose. So at age 2 or 3 weeks, they look bald.
Anyway, the breastfeeding thing…
As you already know, I’ve had many babies. But with my very first one — oh my gosh no one told me breastfeeding would make me cry every time the baby latched on, or that my nipples would crack and bleed, and that I’d feel the chills or get a fever or any of that stuff. All I kept hearing was that it was the BEST for the baby. My mom didn’t nurse me. My husband wasn’t nursed. We are both products of formula – back in the later 60’s and early 70’s that was what was popular – formula. And yet he and I are both very healthy. But I had my first baby in 1993, and it was all about breastfeeding then. So that’s what I did. I suffered…for about 2 or 3 weeks. And then…suddenly…one day it didn’t hurt! So I am very glad that I stuck it out, because once the PAIN went away, I really did enjoy it. Very much so. All my other babies after that were nursed and they never hurt me. And one more thing – breast fed babies are usually slower to gain weight. But that has nothing at all to do with health.
Whatever you choose to do — do NOT feel mommy-guilt! With my first I stopped breastfeeding at around 5 or 6 months. With all the rest, they nursed well into their first year and beyond. I *think* that may have been because I was already *stuck* in the house with other babies/toddlers/kids and so it was just easier on me to breastfeed. With my first, it was easier to give the baby to daddy for a few hours to “escape” with friends or to have some ME time. But once baby #2 and #3 and etc came around, it was harder for me to find ME time, and I just kept up with the breastfeeding because (for me) it’s much easier to breastfeed a baby than to mix up formula. I didn’t need to go out and “buy” anything for the baby’s food. (it’s cheaper to breastfeed!) and since I co-sleep with my babies it’s much easier on ME to just nurse while lying down in the bed. I sleep through the night, even right now with an 8 day old, because he is right there next to me all the time. But this is just works for me. It’s not for everyone. You just find what works for YOU because if mama isn’t getting sleep, if mama is uncomfortable, if mama isn’t happy … then what’s the point? Find what works for you, and just go with it! A happy YOU makes a happy baby and family.
Annalisa says:
My daughter must have not gotten that memo about gaining weight slowly. She doubled her birth weight within the first month, tripled it way ahead of schedule.
Jokes aside, yeah, that last sentence is the bottom line. Or as our pediatrician put it “if mama’s unhappy, nobody else gets to be happy” (she was 100% behind my trying to breastfeed through all the early problems, but she was also adamant that I keep gunning for a consultant that would actually help us rather than make me feel bad about our problems, and we eventually did find one).
The Other Dawn says:
Maybe James is a Barracuda Baby! I have been there, girl, and it WILL Get better! Whether you use formula or breast!
http://growingapair.wordpress.com/2007/10/10/barracuda-baby/
Shani says:
You re the expert in what is best for you and your baby! As for the cream question, I have never tried lansinoh but SWORE by Motherlove nipple cream. Seriously, that stuff fixed horrible cracking/bleeding in 1 day!!! I was kicking myself for waiting two weeks to try it. I give it to all my friends a month or so before they are due. it is magical and extraordinary.
You’re a great mama!
lara says:
a few more tips…
learn to nurse on your side and doze while he eats
Ameda gel pads. I’m allergic to wool and couldn’t use lanolin. these are cooling, esp if you put in fridge while he eats. ahhh, the relief when you put them back on. also keeps your wounds from “sticking” to your bra and re-opening them.
pump, pump, pump! try and do after he eats a few times a day. relieves your engorgement and helps boost your production, AND gives you spare milk for when you need some rest and lets Mike lend a hand at 3 am.
Heidi says:
Yes!This! I used Lansinoh Soothies Glycerin Gel Pads, but it’s the same thing. And I second the fact they keep your wounds from “sticking” to any bra or pads and ripping them open again. That’s the problem I had even with the cream. I swear by these Soothies.
Paula says:
Heather – can you pump and save? Then Mike can take some feedings if you are sleeping? Then he’s getting breast milk and bonding with dad too? Also – be kind to you. Your body has been through hell and back so it’s okay to say “I need to give him a bottle for the next X amount of feedings so my breast(s) can heal.” Big (((((HUGS)))). I love that picture of James! He’s rocking a faux hawk!
Debbie B. says:
“I have to go easy on myself and remember that the most important thing is James is fed and loved, and he’s always going to be.” –
EXACTLY!! No apologies, no guilt, no explanations, no judging – YOU are the only one who truly knows what’s best for James and for you. Love the picture – such a cutie!
Glenda says:
Neither of my two were breastfed and they are ok and I’m ok with my decision too.
YOU have to do what feels right for YOU and for James.
James is definitely a cutie. Love all of that hair!
Lynnette says:
Breastmilk or formula, James will thrive because you, Mike, and Annie will be certain of it. You are a wonderful Mommy to all three of your kids. Please try to remember that your love will conquer all and James will get just exactly what he needs.
Champton says:
Jack Newman’s nipple cream is the best. I struggled through 14 months of breast feeding my first. My second nursed like a champ, but my boobs were super sore! Jack Newman’s was the only thing that worked for me. Lansinoh did not work for me. I actually used the Newman’s cream on some hangnails and paper cuts as well and it worked great! You will need a prescription but it totally works wonders on cracked nipples!
Auntie_M says:
And the Nipples of Steel Award goes tooooooo….(drumbeat….)
Having never gone thru this, I sure as heck am not going to offer any advice except to say, do what is best for your whole family as a whole–if you stop breastfeeding this second, well, heck, James got 13 days of it (wowza!!!!) and all the really great stuff is at the beginning anyway, right? Just promise No Guilt should you decide to stop breast-feeding in favor of pumping and/or straight formula. The cool thing, as you pointed out, about pumping and/or formula is that daddy gets that special feeding bonding time too–there’s something about that face to face time when a baby is eating that is so incredible!
Now on to really important things: I LOVE HIS HAIR!!!!!! Mr Mohawk!!! Love it!!! And he has really deep eyes!!! And I really love how you can see Maddie’s tat when you hold him like this.
Sarah Gahman says:
HOLY CRAP is that a cute baby!! I can’t get over how adorable he is. What a little peanut. I had a horrible time BF’ing at first due to my own supply problems and various difficulties with the baby. The only thing that kept me going was the support and encouragement of a great LC, and also the fact that the baby had a cyst in his lung – I knew ultimately his health was out of my hands, but this was something constructive I could do, provide breastmilk to help prevent illness that could trigger a bad lung infection, etc. (On a side note, he just had the cyst and left lower lobe of his lung removed last Thurs, and he is doing great!! Such a relief.) Anyway, just wanted to say that depite that slow start, I am really loving the BF’ing at this point. It did not seem easier until about a month in (it was very slowly improving but still very hard) and then continued to get better until at this point I can work on the computer, eat breakfast, put on makeup, etc while he is nursing. I loved the comments from DefendUSA. Great advice! And if you haven’t already heard about them, the Pump Station is awesome – they have a location in Westlake Village andSanta Moncia (one more somewhere else, can’t remember) and they are an amazing resource – great LC’s, and fantastic products to support you. I love their pillow so much better than the Boppy! And I also loved their nipple cream (brand is mother love) better than the other ones I tried. ANyway, I just wanted to mention that my improvement didn’t kick in suddenly after a couple weeks like a lot of other people talk about, but it did slowly improve until it became very easy. And now I’m so grateful it worked out and I got the experience! (that being said, if you need to switch to formula, he will be fine!!) Congrats!! Hope you are starting to feel a little better in other ways too.
Angelina says:
4 kids in 4 1/2years, got preemie/malnourished niece…used pumped milk for niece in 4 1/2years have not nursed 2mnths and 17 days.
Lansinoh or Medela help.
I could only sleep when baby slept with my first, second was born year and a day after first I’ve had two naps since baby 2 and none since baby 3. Have Mike change him, bring him to you and nurse laying on your side. I used different pillow against incision and between my legs and made it work…
I woke my first every 90 minutes, his first night in nicu, all the visitors and mil interrupted nursing so pumped for first 3 weeks, bottle fed, sterilized pump and repeat. I was a zombie not a single real memory of first 19 days of my sons life except uncontrollable crying and wanting to give up…but I was stubborn…
Let them sleep, keep track of wet/dirty diapers….and sleep.
I’ve always had oversupply (soaked shirts without a lot of pumping) but if you don’t pump or need to supplement that doesn’t mean you have to give up.
cocojames says:
Hugs! One of the best things I heard was making it to the 21 day mark. It was hard at first with my daughter, but 3 weeks seemed to be the magic mark. I’m trying to remind myself of this given that we’re about 4 weeks away from number 2 (and I’m a little worried)!
Leslie K says:
Breastfeeding my newborn sons was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done! It is a full. time. job. !!!
I will share this– Our older son was given formula in the hospital while I slept like the dead after a very difficult delivery, and he had supplemental formula from then on for the 4 months he breastfed. I had “wounds,” clogged ducts and eventually mastitis before calling it quits and going to full formula.
Our younger son latched on like a little professional and nursed until 10 days before his 2nd birthday when he told me he was “all nine” (all done), and never nursed again.
I admit that I felt “proud” to say that he never had formula (and rarely even had expressed breastmilk), but I must also admit that our older son has been a much easier child to raise than his little brother who would still crawl INTO my skin if he could just days before his 9th birthday. That boy is ATTACHED! Don’t even get me started on how many years it took to get him out of our bed once I decided to put him into it because I HAD to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time.
No matter how long (or short!) a time he is breastfed, I pray he thrives and you are as happy and rested as a new mom can be!
Miranda says:
I didn’t read all the comments so maybe someone already said this. But when my daughter was young and I mean really young just a couple weeks old, I started pumping. After each feeding I would pump for a few minuets each side. I put the milk in bags in the freezer and some in the fridge. My husband would then take a bag or bottle out and do one feeding in the late evening, like 10pm or later. That way I could feed her around seven or eight, give him to her and go to bed. When she woke up he would give her the bottle and I would get at least five to six hours of sleep. I don’t think I would have made it through without at least that much uninterrupted sleep. Good luck with however it works out for you. I made it six months and that was just fine by me!!
Una says:
OK, so I don’t know if you’re even still reading comments on this, but I had cracked, painful nipples for the first two weeks or so before my son’s latch improved and we got the hang of it. I had all the creams and ointments. But you know what worked better than any of them?
Dipping my boobs in warm salted warm after each feeding and then rubbing them with olive oil.
It feels like you’re making bruschetta but it seriously worked.
Anyway, you’re awesome for working so hard at breastfeeding and no matter what James ends up eating, you’re doing an amazing job!
Molly says:
“this is what’s working for us now. Who knows what will work for us tomorrow?”
This is brilliant! And words to live by in so many things. Well done.
Wendy says:
I breastfed both of my boys for over a year and just wanted to offer some encouragement. Even when you’re doing it right, it still hurts. It seemed like 6 weeks was usually the turning point where sore nipple pain was gone and by four months, the feedings had spread out to about four during the day and one at night…so much more do-able! I really loved the convenience of always have food/comfort available at any time, but my kids were also able to take both breast and formula. You’ll figure out what works for you, but I just wanted to encourage you to give it some time to work out the kinks.
Kelly says:
Heather – I’ll second the comments recommending All-Purpose Nipple Ointment. It does require a prescription, but it saved me with nursing both of my girls. With my oldest, there was cracking and BLEEDING. Lots of bleeding. And we got through it thanks to the miracle Ointment.
Hang in there, girl.
kakali says:
Oh James’s cute little face! I saw the picture so many times and I can’t get enough of it! And the caption ”feed me”! I laughed so hard! If James sleeps well and has lots of poopy diaper, you know he is getting enough milk! When you stop it’s your choice but aren’t you happy he is doing so much better latching? Hopefully your pain will go away. Take care.
Jean says:
Heather,
I’m not sure if you read these, or if you really need any more advice, but I’ll just chime in with this: What makes nursing easier is that your baby gets bigger. Little mouths hurt, chafe, pinch, etc. But as babies grow, they open wider and even an “imperfect” latch is no big deal. Life SUCKED for me when my son was born because he was allergic to milk (thus no milk-based formula) and I was reluctant to give him soy (personally not prepared to research estrogen effects on little boys because I was too tired). So, I dreaded nursing, I cried, I screamed, I pumped….and then when he didn’t have a mouth the size of a cheerio, it just didn’t hurt. I surprised myself that we lasted til 13 months. I didn’t set any goals…just had to do what was right that day. Anyhow, if it is awful now, just know that every day that he grows, his mouth grows! Good luck!! You are walking a well-worn path here!
Heather says:
I’m reading all of the comments!!! Thank you!!
Heidi says:
I haven’t read through all the comments, so maybe someone has already mentioned these, but these alone are what saved me from giving up breastfeeding. I had such cracked, bleeding nipples, the lactation consultant told me to take a 24 hour break and had me pump while my husband fed my daughter the pumped breast milk through a tube with his finger. In retrospect, I’d probably just have him use a bottle now, but I was all worried about “nipple confusion” and followed their suggestion. During that time, and after, I used these Lansinoh Soothies Glycerin Gel Pads (http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=944360363&MasterCategory_Id=MC29&Media=FroogleDataFeed_09_2011&mr:trackingCode=841566E5-FE29-E211-B425-BC305BEDE924&mr:referralID=NA&mr:adType=pla&mr:ad=27107031845&mr:keyword=&mr:match=&mr:filter=19908223565&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&utm_content=All%20products&utm_campaign=Product%20Listings%20Ads%20-%20Search&gclid=CJSH74Kn4LcCFQE6QgodLmEAYQ).
I put them in the refrigerator while I pumped and then on my nipples afterwards. They were so soothing and kept the nipples moist but not wet, so they could heal. After taking a 24 hour break from feeding and using the Soothies, I was ready to continue and within a short time after that (and always using the Soothies between feedings for about a week), things became so much easier. Soon it was not difficult to breastfeed and a few weeks later, it was the most convenient thing. You always have food on you, it’s always ready to go, warm, etc. Plus, once it became easy, there really is something special watching your baby nurse.
All that said, if you can’t or decide against it, it’s perfectly fine. Truly. I hope people would never give you a hard time for the choice you make in feeding your child. Your child will thrive either way. You have to do what is best for YOU.
Sarah says:
I wanted to divorce my husband just so I could marry the Gel Soothies! I buy them for every woman I know who plans to bf!
Rachel (sesame ellis) says:
I had to use nipple shields with the twins. It hurt so bad that I kicked Gem off the bed one time. But I swear one day, it just no longer hurt. A few weeks in. Then we went like pros for a year!
Leigh Elliott says:
Just wanted to say that is AWESOME that Mike said he supported you either way – just knowing that can take the pressure off. Because there IS so much pressure!! You’re doing great and as he grows his frequency of feedings will go down and your supply will change to match his needs. I also pumped breastmilk and gave our daughter formula, it was just what worked for us at the time.
My husband made a joke when we were struggling with feeding issues (I actually had an online friend completely ditch me b/c she didn’t think I was giving breastfeeding enough of a chance. We had been friends for 3 years, and gone through infertility together too.) He said, “No one cares when you’re an adult if you were breastfed or bottle fed. It’s not like someday at work someone says, “Oh yeah, Frank? He’s a good guy, but guess what I heard…he was BOTTLE fed. Yep, it’s the truth.” We still laugh about it.
Hang in there mama!
Joy says:
James is adorable! and looks so much like Maddie in my humble opinion : ) Your post brought me right back to my boys’ first days. Do what’s best for you!!! You’re have to be in top shape to take care of 2 little ones and so you have to take care of yourself first! I will say that I had forgotten what good pals my nipple shields were back in the day : )
AmyG says:
Heather, do what you feel best! As you stated, as long as James is fed & loved, that’s what matters. You’re doing an awesome job. I didn’t breastfeed & my kids are 11 & 7, very happy, healthy girls. I wish you the best, whichever way you go. James is a doll! Get some rest!
Karen says:
James is adorable! Happy to see things are working out with the breastfeeding. I went into it with so much anxiety after hearing all of my friends’ struggles.
Pre-baby, a colleague told me “the first three weeks are the hardest” for breastfeeding. In my case, that was absoultely true. The exhaustion, the painful cracked nipples (I am another Lansinoh fan!), the stress of feeling like I was the only person who could take care of this specific need. I worried about positioning, his latch, that books said “it shouldn’t hurt,” while I was having pain…. I probably should have just relaxed and gone with the flow a little more! My husband was incredibly helpful and supportive, but between post-partum hormones and lack of sleep, I would go from moments of feeling like a superwoman to feeling like there was no way I could ever keep this up! It got so much better and easier after those first few weeks! My son just turned one, and we are weaning now. I never thought we’d make it this far, but I am so happy it worked out. Whether you continue with breastfeeding, do a mix, or switch to formula, you are doing what works and is best for you, James, and the family. So happy for you all – seeing his picture makes me want another newborn around!
Expat Mom says:
I didn’t get to breastfeed my oldest, because he was in the NICU and then refused it. I felt horrendously guilty and everyone told me I was doing him a horrible disservice by not breastfeeding him. I think it really contributed to my post-partum depression, along with his multiple surgeries.
With my second, I felt guilty about feeding him and NOT his big brother, so I didn’t try too hard. I hated breastfeeding and started supplementing pretty fast when my supply was not up to the task. He self-weaned at 3 months.
The third, it was completely different. I was able to actually enjoy it! It was hard and tiring and painful in the beginning, but it worked. Except I still didn’t have enough milk (yes, I know most women think this, but I really didn’t, he was starving and nothing I did increased the milk), so we ended up supplementing a bit. He was breastfed until 6 months, which worked just fine for both of us.
I’m glad you’re getting this experience with James, but even happier that we live in a time when we have alternatives if breastfeeding really doesn’t work.
Julie says:
Heather, congrats on your beautiful boy! I just wanted to say I have one major regret from the first month after my twin boys were born, and that is that I tortured myself trying (and failing) to breastfeed them. I’m sure far better and more clever moms could have made it work, but I couldn’t. I gave up after a month of constant breast feeding/pumping (I never even put a shirt on after a while!) and I swear it drastically improved the quality of our lives! Do what’s good for you!
Libby says:
Late on the commenting, so these have probably already been suggested: http://www.lansinoh.com/products/soothies-by-lansinoh-gel-pads
But the nipple cream/lanolin never helped me, and once I discovered these gel pads (not until the third baby, of course!!), I used them all the time for about the first month/six weeks. They are a little on the expensive side, but one pair can last about a week. You put them on in between feedings, and for me, they really helped me feel better and heal.
Also, if it helps, it was my experience with all 3 babies that the first month to six weeks involved a lot of pain/soreness, but after that point, things got better. I hope you can get to a point where you can enjoy some parts of breastfeeding!
Maggie says:
Just wanted to chime in with more support for Lanolin cream, a total lifesaver. Use it every time without fail for a while (even after you think you may not need it) and it will help so much. I had a VERY difficult time nursing my first and in my crazy head formula was not an option (oh how much I have changed!) so I was so stressed out and an emotional and physical mess. I can somewhat relate to what you are going through. I gave myself a time limit and said, “If I don’t feel better in a week, I will give it up”, not long after that, it got so much better. You need to do what is right for you and your family, however, I wanted you to know that it probably won’t be so painful and difficult for long. Good luck!
Kat says:
I just LOVE him!!!!!
Nikki says:
I’m sure someone already mentioned this, but I also recommend Lansinoh breast cream and BREAST SHIELDS!! They were a life-saver … It helped give my breasts a break to heal between feedings. Good Luck, Heather, its not easy, but so worth it. But do what works for you guys! Big hugs
Alee says:
Hi, just came across your blog. Congrats on your little one! I have a 4 month old – in addition to lansinoh, I spent a LOT of time with my boobs hanging out like a tribal woman LOL, I even slept at night with my shirt open – the wounds healed very quickly that way. Hang in there – it does get better.
TracyKM says:
I haven’t read through the other nearly 200 comments (I have to leave for work in 5 minutes!) but I wanted to say AWESOME! And two tips. You do not need to get painfully engorged. As soon as you start to feel fullness, nurse. You don’t have to wait for him to show hunger signs–though most parents miss the really early cues like sticking out the tongue. And for the sleeping thing–learn to nurse laying down and have him within arms’ reach so you don’t even have to get up. I wish I had learned this with my first. It is such a lifesaver. You will get MORE sleep by co-sleeping and nursing, then by having Mike get up to formula feed. Really!
Keep it up! (Do you have a nipple shield to help your wounds heal while still allowing nursing?)
Dani says:
I would suggest Dr.Newman’s ointment instead of the Lansinoh ointment. I typically got it while in the hospital and it really works wonders versus the Lansinoh. You might have to ask your Dr. for a prescription for it. I wish you all the best as I had very sore areas too with my first child and by the third it had no effect, lol!! Hang in there and it will get better;-)
Jolene says:
You have no idea how this post made me smile. I had(have) the WORST mommy-guilt in the worls! I too had such bad issues with BF and read up on every possible solution but nothing worked. I tried nipple creams, shields, went to a lactation consultant 3 times…I truly feel like I did it all. But nothing…and I mean nothing healed my nipples. I also had a low milk supply but I continued to pump for nearly 6 months and was even able to BF her from my breast for that long once or twice a day…otherwise, I’d get the same painful sensation all over again! So I combo fed for 6 months. I recently gave my now 7 month old the last of my breast milk I had stashed in my freezer and still…had this horrible guilt over not having done MORE to do it longer. But I know that in reality, I did do everything I could and from what I can tell…my sweet little Abbie is not harmed by the formula she’s being fed Kudos to you Heather…I know it’s SO hard (I had no idea how hard it would really be) but in the end, I am proud of myself for every drop of breast milk her little tummy did get. Congratulations on James…he is precious and such a blessing! You have a beautiful family!
Melanie says:
Jack Newman’s Nipple Cream is a LIFE(Nipple)SAVER!!
It’s only by prescription. It’s amazing.
Hang in there!
Kyley Leger says:
I may not have any advice that hasn’t already been said, but I’ll share my successes during those early weeks. Nipple cream, YES. My second baby also came out a pro-breastfeeder. That meant that by day two I was RAW. They brought me cream but they also brought me Soothies. They are cool gel pads. AMAZING! I used them for the first month to six weeks. That’s how long it took me for my body to adjust and not feel pain. When my friends start nursing, I always tell them to stick it out at least six weeks. After that it will become normal and enjoyable. It also took me about two to three weeks to adjust to the lack of sleep. But, it happened, too. I’m sure Mike is super helpful, but little things help. At six months, I only have gotten out of bed a couple of times for a feeding. It’s only minutes, but having my husband retrieve the baby and bring him to me was and is a blessing. Good luck, Heather! Most of all, be happy with yourself and enjoy James!
Elena says:
I’m a little surprised I only saw one reply about the Madela nipple shield. I can’t speak personally about the Avent shield, but I was able to successfully breastfeed during those incredibly painful times, or even use a breast bump with the shield, and it was wonderful! It’s like a very thin layer that you express just a little milk so that it “sticks” over and has holes in it for the milk flow through. It helps with both the pain and healing because it keeps the wounds covered. Wonderful, wonderful invention, imho.
Rebecca says:
Put him in bed with you and let him nurse while you rest. He won’t nurse like this forever. It will get easier and he will grow up fast. Sometimes the inconvienent present is worth it in the looking-back-on-it future.
Whitney says:
Lily pads were extremely helpful when I nursed. The first kid was really rough but number 2 was so much easier (after about a month). Good luck either way he will be happy and healthy.
Kelly says:
I know this is late and everything I’m going to say has been said, but you are doing great. Any amount of breastmilk is good.
I had different experiences with all three of my kids. My son was given a bottle before I was able to try to nurse and as a result he was a lazy eater. A LC came to the house and lent me a pump because my milk didn’t come in. Once it did on day 6, my son was a great nurser and i kept at it until he quit cold turkey at 18 months.
My first daughter was great and latched immediately. She HATED bottles, so she continued until I decided to stop at 22 months.
With my youngest everything seemed ok, but then i wound up with the same wounds that you seem to have. I remember being at a grocery store at 3am, crying as I bought formula because I couldn’t deal with the pain. Thanks to great LCs and nipple shields, I was able to continue nursing, discarded the shields after about a month and continued nursing until she was 17 months. I did pump with all of them because I work full time, but that made it easier to have others help with feedings.
Good luck and keep up the great job that you are doing.
erin says:
When I look back on those first few months of having a newborn, the things I remember most is looking down at the baby as they nurse. They way my babies looked up while nursing full of joy and love, the way they snuggled into my chest, and grasped my finger as it rubbed their cheek. It can be hard, but breastfeeding is an amazing experience. Try to focus on the beauty of this connection whenever it gets too painful.
J says:
You can do it! We’re designed to feed our babes! My 8 month old fed every hour round the clock for the first three months. I thought I was going crazy at one point and then bam, by 3 months she was sleeping through the night (7-6) which I know is rare in ebf. Sure it’s rough being the sole freeder but the bonding is truly like nothing else and the health benefits are incredible! Now at 8 months bf’ing is smooth. She’s never had a bottle and barely eats solids and has thrived beautifully! Looking at her and knowing my body has nourished her for this long is just an amazing feeling. Bf babies so tend to drop off weight on the beginning more than formula fed so there is that but as long as they have doubled their birth weight by all should be good!