As you might imagine, vomiting all the time is really exhausting. I’m almost stunned by how tired I am, constantly. I cope by focusing on one task at a time. It’s difficult because I am used to doing many things at once, but multitasking is just beyond me right now. So, I look at my day’s to-do list, and prioritize things based on importance and the energy level required. I evaluate other things as they come up. Right now, I have to say no to all-day things (Disneyland was worth it for Annie, but I can’t do something like that again – I almost got myself hospitalized), and ask for help with the items that require clear thinking (my brain is so foggy). It’s hard asking for help but I am working on it. I am lucky that everyone is just so understanding. Really incredibly lucky.
Annie is obviously my biggest priority, and whenever I have moments of feeling good I spend them with her. I don’t want her to think the baby is making me sick or anything like that; she’ll have plenty of reasons to resent her sibling as she gets older, amirite? Then there are days with no good moments, and those days are the worst. I miss her, even though she’s often just in the other room. But even on the worst days I try to make it into her room to read her bedtime story. We cuddle in her chair and talk about her day, and eventually we get around to that story.
Last night I was feeling poorly but I was determined to make it to the story. I slumped into her chair as low as I could. I really did not want to run away to throw up (I haven’t had to yet), so I just wanted to be as still as possible. Annie climbed into the chair next to me, put her little hand on my belly and said, “Mama! This is the baby in your belly! I am protecting it!”
I told her that the baby could hear her, and she should tell her brother or sister about her day. My kid never needs an excuse to talk (or an excuse to delay bedtime). She talked to my stomach for twenty straight minutes, telling the baby the minutiae of her day.
I woke up and got out of bed! I had waffles!
I played with fresh playdoh and then I asked daddy to play with me!
I talked to my princesses and showed them my princess tree!
I got tired, so it’s bedtime.
It was so adorable to see her talking to the baby, and also great to hear about the parts of her day that I missed.
I hope she wants to do this every day.
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