Finally some good news – my blood test came back with “low levels,” whatever that means, but it’s good, so yay! Dr. Hirisk’s theory is that I passed the remaining tissue on Saturday (the worst day of bleeding by far), and my body is recovering finally. That means I don’t have to take anything or have another D&C. Halle-freaking-lujah. Dr. Hirisk wants me to get an ultrasound to “check under the hood,” but now it’s not an emergency.

I feel like I can finally relax. It’s been over two weeks of not sleeping well, not eating much, and general crappiness. My physical restrictions have almost all been lifted, so I can get back to normal activity as soon as I’m up to it. I can stop worrying about my body and start letting my mind focus on other things.

I am still really upset that there wasn’t any tissue for the lab to test. I’m always going to wonder what happened, if it was chromosomes or my clotting disorder. My perinatologist was great about it. He listened to me (remember yesterday when I said my brain cut off my ability to speak to prevent me from saying things in anger? I did not have that problem today.), then talked me down. He was clearly not pleased by the lack of tissue for testing, but stayed professional about it. He told me the important thing was making sure I was OK so that there weren’t any more problems in the future. The best thing about my former OB is that she lead me to this man. He’s had to fill Dr. Risky’s big shoes, and he’s done a great job so far.

With the lack of definitive miscarriage cause, Dr. Hirisk is going to proceed as if it were caused by my clotting disorder. So, oral blood thinners while trying to conceive (low dose aspirin), then injectable blood thinners as soon as I get a positive pregnancy test. Sometime in the next month Mike and I will meet with the OB Dr. Hirisk wants us to work with. I want to meet her before I am pregnant, get a feel for her, see what she thinks of Dr. Hirisk’s plan, etc.

I’m tired. But I feel hopeful that things might turn out better next time…and if they don’t, well, at least I know we did everything we could. Thank you again for all of your wonderful comments and emails and cards. As always, you made us feel so much better about everything – and much more educated about this whole situation in general. Miscarriages are very common in women with Antiphosopholipid Antibody Syndrome, but that doesn’t mean you’re prepared, or know the right questions to ask. I think part of the reason I have been able to be so calm is because I knew I had all of you out there to take care of us. So thank you, again, a million trillion times.

Also – there is a story about Friends of Maddie in this week’s (June 4) issue of Woman’s World magazine. If you’re here because of it, HI. We’ve seen an increase in donations this week, which is SO amazing. Thank you to everyone who donated, and to Woman’s World for featuring us!