Another weekly appointment in the books. Binky looks good! We heard the heartbeat again (about 160 beats per minute) and saw a little wave and fingers moving. For now, Binks is chillin’ and flippin’ around inside my belly.

Next week I am having a high-resolution ultrasound with Dr. Risky’s partner, Dr. No-Vowels. I haven’t had any high-res images taken of Binky yet, so we’re looking forward to getting a little bit more detail of our baby.

My placenta appears to be moving, yay! And it is moving posteriorly, meaning NOT on top of my classical c-section scar. So that’s good! I still have to go easy but that is encouraging.

After my ultrasound, Mike and I went down to the lab for some tests. I hate going to the lab because it takes forever. It really is my only complaint thus-far. I really wish the OB nurses could draw blood for the labs. When my number was finally called (YES it is so busy that you are assigned a number), I didn’t run back because I knew I’d have to wait another ten minutes. This was my  fifth blood draw in this lab, so I know how things work. The lab has eight tiny “blood cubbies” designed to give each patient a modicum of privacy. I sat in my blood cubby and thought about how blood draws don’t bother me at all anymore. Amazing what giving yourself a shot everyday can do for you.

When it was finally my turn, a cute young girl came into my cubby and said, “Hi! I’m Jane and I’m a med student here!’ Normally, that would be the end of her time in my blood cubby. But I thought, “eh, this is a TEACHING hospital. I have to let the med students learn. She can’t screw this up TOO badly. It will just hurt for a second.” I answered her questions and watched her slide the needle into my arm. No blood came at first, so she readjusted the needle INSIDE of the vein. I was impressed with her skills, as none of it hurt. I opened my mouth to tell her this, but then she attaches one of the vials to the end of the tubing, and the blood started to flow. And that’s when it started to go downhill fast.

Instead of telling her that she did a painless needle insert, I heard myself say, “I’m dizzy.” And then I got REALLY hot and the black spots started to cover my eyes. I heard Jane say, “are you going to be OK? ” and I thought I leaned my head back…but the next thing I knew, I was slumped over on top of my left arm. Jane knew it as the arm she’d just been drawing blood from.

There were a lot of people around me, and I know I asked for Mike. I just don’t know if I asked for Mike in ENGLISH. Someone had me repeat myself a few times, and then suddenly a cup of water and Mike appeared. He looked at me and said, “What’s up?”
Apparently a nurse got him but didn’t say why. So I’m trying to explain what happened while a bunch of med students and phlebotomists fan me (when I faint I literally sweat a gallon of water in five seconds flat).

At one point Mike said, “why is there blood on your face?” and I might have yelped, “THERE’S BLOOD ON MY FACE?!?!?!?!?!” It was from my face falling ONTO MY BLOOD DRAW. Good times. Thanks for catching me, med student Jane!

Another phlebotomist came into the cubby and said, “we’re going to take you to lay down so we can finish,” because they still needed more blood. Freaking vampires. Mike and the phlebotomists stand me up and start walking me toward the back of the lab. I suddenly shout, “I CAN’T SEE!!!!!!” because I am about to faint again and the blackness has come, and Mike is still kind of like WTF is going on? Some other phlebotomists and nurses rush me and basically PUSH me into the room with the bed in it (according to mike, because I don’t remember) and they basically threw me onto the bed.

My vision slowly came back, and Mike said I just started TALKING. I tried to tell the medical staff that I’ve never fainted during a blood draw before, and I said, “and I’ve had KAJILLIONS of blood draws! I have a clotting disorder!” I could hear Mike laughing and I kept telling him, “Shut up, Mikey!” which not surprisingly, made him laugh harder. He said that I kept saying “I have a clotting disorder” and that I was trying to say the name of it, but I never succeeded.

At one point I realized that I’d probably just scarred a young med student, and I couldn’t have that. I grabbed the student’s arm
and I said, “You did a good job! It didn’t hurt at ALL! I just fainted because it’s WHAT I DOOOOOO!”

I ended up with two puncture wounds (which are now awesome bruises because I couldn’t give either the pressure necessary to assist clotting), and enough tape to wrap a gymnast’s ankle. You can see the bruises already starting under the tape.

That picture was taken by Mike while I laid on the table. I’m not entirely convinced he didn’t take more pictures of me, and he’s just saving them for when he REALLY wants something.