Hi Everyone,
Heather had her D&C today, and, as her OB told me in the waiting room after the surgery was finished, all went well. “All went well,” of course, is a relative term in this circumstance, as she was talking about removing what Heather and I hoped was going to be our sweet little baby. It’s best not to think about that sad stuff, though. Instead, I will focus on the positive – that the surgery “went well” without doing any damage to Heather’s insides, and she was able to come home. Oh, and it is over. That is a positive too.
It was a long day at the hospital, which was especially hard when we were there to do something so depressing. When you go to the hospital to do something exciting – like deliver your baby – you are willing to wait for hours and hours because you know at the end there will be a happy ending. Today though there was no happy ending, no carrot to get you through. Just a long, depressing day.
Though things “went well” generally, there were a few hiccups… Heather had a fainting spell, blew out two IVs (likely because of her clotting disorder and being a bit dehydrated from not eating for 24 hours and not drinking for 14), and by the time they finally got one to work she was pretty darn uncomfortable. Later, when she woke up from the anesthesia, she had some trouble breathing and needed oxygen. Luckily the doctors were quick and got that under control. Heather couldn’t stop saying, “thank you for taking care of me,” to everyone that came near her. Apparently that was the last thing she said to the nurses before she was put under, too. She gets very effusive when she’s all drugged out.
Heather is under orders to take it easy for a few days, so her mother, Annie, and I have been playing nurse. She seems in okay spirits, all things considered. I’m hanging in there, too. Still, I am glad that once I hit publish I will be able to go to sleep and leave this day in the past where it belongs.
InDueTime says:
Mike, you and Heather are in my thoughts and prayers.
(((Hugs)))
LIbby says:
Sounds like a long and trying day. Get lots of rest. Sending kind and healing thoughts to you.
Becca Masters says:
I can’t even begin to comprehend what you must all be feeling. My thoughts are with you all and I’m hoping that Heather has a speedy recovery!
Lisa says:
Sending love and prayers to you all.
Laura says:
Big giant hugs to you all
Glenda says:
Thinking of you and Heather!!!
Kayla says:
Glad to hear you’re all doing as well as can be expected, and that you’re hanging in there. My love and thoughts continue to be with you.
Also, I know you didn’t ask for any advice from my big yapper and thus in theory, I shouldn’t be giving it, but if you’ll forgive me, I will say this. Allow yourself to feel the sad stuff, Mike. Allow yourself to try to accept this and come to terms with it.
This is sad stuff. Really, really shitty, sad stuff. Try to acknowledge and think about it. Let yourself grieve. It’s all you can do.
J in eire says:
Kayla said it perfectly. You are putting on such a brave face Mike to be Heathers support, but don’t forget about you too. This is sad sad stuff you are both dealing with – its ok to feel it.
Tam. says:
Thinking of you all and sending lots of hugs and prayers from the East Coast.
Jenn says:
Hi Mike,
So glad things went as well as can be expected. Heather is lucky to have you! You’re so supportive & I’m sure you’re a GREAT nurse. Please take care of our girl and Mike…take care of you too as you both recover during this horribly sad time in your lives.
Sending you both support, friendship and love. xoxo
Cathy K. says:
More prayers being sent to you and Heather, you both need to take care and be good to yourselves.
Quart says:
Lots of love and hugs to you guys . . .
Sue says:
I’m so glad to hear that everything went okay, Mike. I know that all of you will take care of one another. Huge hugs to each and every one of you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
chantelle says:
Thinking of you both.
Courtney says:
Huge virtual hugs going your way. Take good care of yourself too.
sherri says:
Thinking of you all and sending fast recovery vibes from NC. So sorry this happened, and that there were hiccups in the procedure today as well. Hugs,
Julia says:
Thinking of you both and sending healing thoughts and hugs from London. This too shall pass xx
Lauren says:
So terribly sorry for you both. You’re in my thoughts.
Amy says:
Heather, Mike, and Annie,
I am so sorry for you and your families loss! You are all in my thoughts and prayers!
Neeroc says:
Huge hugs to you guys.
Becca says:
Glad to her things went as well as they could. I was thinking about you all a lot yesterday.
Patti B. says:
So sorry for your loss, but glad things ‘went well’…you are right, what a relative term : / Hoping today is a much better day.
Lisa says:
Holding all of you close in my heart. I’m so so sorry I wish I had something better to say, some wise words.
Love and hugs.
Editdebs says:
So much love being sent your way.
Mary says:
I’m glad the day is behind you both. Keeping you all in my heart.
Jen says:
*Hugs*
Liz T. says:
Sounds like she’s in good hands. Sending all positive energy, thoughts and prayers your way.
Jess says:
I’m glad the day is over. Thinking of you guys and so sorry you had to go through this. Hope for the future
TamaraL says:
Continuing to keep your family in my thoughts…
Pattie says:
Thank you for taking a moment during this painful time to give us an update, Mike. I’m so sorry for your loss and am keeping you and Heather in my thoughts. I know you and Annie will take good care of her.
Melissa says:
I’m so sorry. Thinking of you all right now.
Momma Lioness Michele says:
I’m so sorry you and your family have had to go through this. Sending you all strength and love from NY. Wishing Heather all the best in her recovery.
Kelly says:
So glad that things went well, but also so sorry that they even had to. Hang in there, all of you.
Nikki says:
I’m so sorry this happened but glad the day is over. I will keep all of you in my prayers.
Terri says:
Have been there, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I still remember due dates as they come around each year and think of what might of been. I’m happy to hear she is at least physically okay.
Katy says:
We have been through this as well. One of the worst days of our lives. I too remember all the dates and get sad. I know all of these babies are playing in Heaven together and are our angels. I will say that with time this gets better. We finally welcomed a healthy baby girl 8 weeks ago. Hang in there.
Skye says:
Wishing Heather a quick recovery, and thinking of you all. I’m glad this part is over, but sorry you had to go through it. I hope little Nurse Annie makes you smile though the sadness.
Bridget says:
Take care of Heather and take care of yourself, too. Thinking of all of you again, today.
cindy w says:
Thinking of you guys. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.
edenland says:
Heather saying “Thank you for taking care of me” .. over and over, made me cry. Your wife is so beautiful, Mike. Of course you know that.
Thinking of you heaps.
XXXXX
Page says:
I thought the same. And cried as well. You guys are in my thoughts. I’m so, so sorry for yur loss.
Paige says:
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. We went through the same process when our son was about Annie’s age and it was bone crushingly sad. The best advice I got, from a fellow parent who had been through it years before, was not to let anyone minimize it, to sit with and then move through your grief on your time. You deserve it and it’s OK. Rest and peace and toddler hugs from Annie to you all this weekend.
Stephanie says:
Thanks for the update Mike. I’m glad to hear things went well (relatively). I’m so sorry for what you guys are going through. Sending you all light and healing.
mel says:
give my love to Heather. Many hugs to you too, Mike.
Nicole says:
Thanks for the update. Thinking of you and Heather today.
Della says:
Hadn’t logged in for several days here, so am behind the times. I’m thinking of you guys and sending big hugs your way.
Nellie says:
Heather is surrounded by loving thoughts, hugs and prayers — both near and far.
Wishing Heather a gentle recovery with beautiful, refreshing and healthy new starts on the road ahead for you and your family.
Jackie says:
I’m glad things “went well”. I hope the next time you are all at the hospital, it’s under better circumstances.
Cathy says:
Hugs to all the Spohrs….get some rest xoxo
Trisha says:
Mike, I am thinking of you all and sending hugs and healing prayers your way. I’ve said to Heather and now I’ll say to you…
I’m sorry you are having to endure so much heartache. The world is crazy at times and it would seem that you two and your families would get to catch a break for once. I hope Heather recovers from her surgery without too much discomfort and pain this weekend.
Lots of love from Florida
Sunny says:
So sorry to hear of your sadness.
Wishing Heather a speedy physical recovery, and hope you both will be restored spiritually/emotionally as well.
Lanie says:
I wish I had magic words to make things better. You are all in my thoughts. Sending hugs.
Carrie says:
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope that Heather heals well inside and out. We’re all thinking about you and wishing we could take away all the bad.
Lots of good thoughts held for you and your family.
Jenny, Bloggess says:
I’m sending you such love. Such, such love.
@BarbaraJones says:
Heather and Mike – I’m so very sorry and I’m sending love and hugs to you both.
Shana in Texas says:
Sending good thoughts and hugs your way.
Jenny says:
Hang in there Mike. Good job taking such good care of her. Love to you both.
Amelia says:
So much love being sent to you and your family from me. I’ve been through this and I’m so so sorry you have to go through it as well.
Nadinsche says:
This is so unfair. I am incredibly sorry.
Becky Campbell says:
There is nothing I can say to make it any easier…but I’m thinking of and praying for you and your family every day!? I know alot of people say that and I imagine you sometimes wonder if they are just words on the screen or true actions. I can’t speak for anyone else, but please know I’m honestly praying for your family! I am emotionally invested in you guys!!! {{{HUGS}}}
Jeanie says:
I’m glad Heather (and you!) are doing well after the surgery, but so very sorry that it had to be done at all. Blessings to you all.
meoskop says:
So sorry you had to have this day, so glad it’s behind you with Heather in good health.
Sarah says:
Oh, man. I really hope that life has one hell of a good thing coming for you, to balance out all the crud it’s thrown at you guys lately. Thank you for the update, and I am sending positive vibes to you and your family.
Leah says:
I am glad everything went “well”. Blessing to your family.
Molly says:
Heart aching for both of you. Hoping for healing and better days soon.
jacquie holley says:
I am so sorry Mike an Heather! Glad the day is over for you and hope you both get some rest.
JustAMom says:
So sorry. I have no words other than I’m sorry. It just is all so unfair.
tena says:
Haven’t stopped thinking about you. Love to you all.
mccgoods says:
I wish I had more to say, everyone above me has said it so much better. I have been through it twice and it just sucks.
Annalisa says:
That sucks! My limited hospital stay experiences suggest that it’s a pain to be there no matter what, so when it’s for a reason that sad, it must suck 100 times more.
I’m glad that Heather’s mom is staying to take care of her. Nothing like having mom take care of you when you’re feeling crummy. I don’t doubt that you and Annie are being great nurses too, but neither one of you is her mom… and there are times when only your own mom will do for comfort.
VDog says:
I am so, so sorry you guys. It’s just awful, the whole thing. Sending huge V hugs, and chocolate & diet coke & trash mags. XOXO
Mrs. Flinger says:
Thinking and loving on you both. XOXOXO
Meg says:
Sending thoughts and prayers to your whole family. I hope you are finding comfort in one another and in Nurse Annie.
Lenka says:
So so sorry! Sending healing light your way!
Lisa F. says:
I’m glad things went as well as can be expected. Will continue to send thoughts and prayers your way!
Tori says:
So very sorry for the loss of your precious little baby. Been there a couple of times and it sucks. Don’t let anyone get away with saying stupid things like “It was meant to be” or “Something must have been wrong” or “Your still young you can just try again”. It isn’t that simple. Just because no one got to see your baby or know about it doesn’t mean it doesn’t count.
Dates are firmly imprinted in my heart (due dates, sad scan dates, and D&C dates). They all suck.
My husband has a tattoo to remember our babies by, it is important to us to keep that memory alive.
Tara says:
Mike, we just went through this a couple months ago and my heart aches for you guys. I am so, so sorry you had to go through this.
judi mitchell says:
I’m so sorry ~ have been where you are and there’s really nothing to say ~ sending you hugs from Boston and hope for brighter days to come ~
Colleen - @amadisonmom says:
I have vivid memories of having a D&C myself… 8 years ago. I hope Heather has a quick physical recovery. I know that the emotional recovery tends to be so much harder. I’m keeping you all in my thoughts.
Leigh Elliott says:
deep sigh
it’s just not fair
Dawn says:
Heather & Mike, I’m so sorry…
Lia McIntosh says:
My heart aches for you and Heather. Such devistating news for your family. I am glad all went well and hope Heather has a speedy recovery with her expert nurse. Thinking of you.
Expat Mom says:
So glad to hear that Heather is ok. D&C’s suck. I hope you get some answers from the tests.