I can’t stop staring at this picture:
This is Madeline, me, and my friend Desiree at the Dodgers’ spring training facility last March. It was taken only a few weeks before Maddie got sick. It was a few months after Desiree finished chemo for breast cancer (I’ve written about her before). She successfully went into remission, and over the summer she underwent reconstructive surgery. At one of our lunches, she asked me to take pictures of her when her surgeries had healed. She wanted, “I Beat Cancer” pictures. I was honored she asked me and started thinking about ideas immediately.
Over Thanksgiving she emailed me from her family vacation. She and I often had long talks and email exchanges about the more difficult things we’d faced in life. This email told me she was experiencing terrible pain in her arm, and she was afraid her cancer had come back. I told her it was probably scar tissue pressing on a nerve and to enjoy her trip as much as possible. Unfortunately, she was right – her cancer had come back, and it had spread. However, her doctors were still very confident she would beat cancer again.
Desiree didn’t feel much like visitors after her latest diagnosis so we kept in touch via our phones – lots of texts and emails. We would confide our struggles, our fears, our pain. She told me that Madeline was one of her inspirations. I told her she was one of mine.
The day Annabel was born, I sent Desiree a picture right away. Des had been going through a rough spot and I hoped seeing a picture of the baby would cheer her up. She called me the next morning. She sounded weak but so happy about Annie. We talked about the baby, we both cried, and we said I love you and laughed at each other for being teary. We said we’d talk when I got out of the hospital so we could arrange a time for her to meet the baby. But when I got out of the hospital, she went in.
Her sister updated her blog asking for prayers and I knew things had become more serious. Still, her sister said Desiree was bossing everyone around, and I laughed thinking about her barking orders to the hospital staff. But last weekend, things took a turn for the worst, and on February 1st, my sweet, strong, bossy friend Desiree lost her fight against cancer.
I’ve been in shock for the last week. I have only been able to let myself think about it in small bits. The emotions I’ve felt about Madeline since Annabel’s birth have been right at the surface, and I have worked hard, so hard, at keeping them at bay so I can be fair to Annie. I haven’t wanted her first weeks home to be marred by sorrow. But life has a way of making you think about things even when you don’t want to.
Today I will think about my dear friend all day. At nine in the morning we are going to Desiree’s funeral. It will be the third funeral I’ve been to in 2010. The third funeral of a mother and daughter whose life ended too soon.
I will remember Desiree for all of my life. She will be an important woman I tell my Annie about. And she will always be one of my inspirations.
{ 191 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your friend, Heather. I’ll keep her friends and family in my thoughts.
.-= Nanette´s last blog ..Project 365 – the unpretty version =-.
I am sorry for these blows that come. Desiree, like all who know you, is blessed to have had you for a friend.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Special =-.
beautifully written. so sorry for your loss, heather.
I’m so sorry Heather. I know all too well how the joy of a newborn baby can be skewered with the tragic loss of a family member or friend. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and for Desiree and her family. xxx
I am so very sorry for yet another loss.
I’ll be praying for you at 9.
.-= InDueTime´s last blog ..Who Dat? =-.
Wow. Life really sucks sometimes and the tears doth cometh.
We’ll remember her with you, Heather. You won’t have to go at it alone. *sending virtual hugs your way*
I’m so sorry Heather.
x
.-= Toni Brockliss´s last blog ..12 days of L.O.V.E – 8 =-.
Oh, Heather. I’m so sorry to learn about the loss of your friend. Sending you many, many hugs.
.-= Noelle´s last blog ..and you want to be my latex salesman… =-.
what a beautiful friend you have. desiree is still with you, and even better, she’s with your little girl. i hope that the clouds clear soon, i can’t imagine how rough it must have been these past few weeks. don’t be afraid to let yourself grieve. maddie will always be a part of annie’s mom. you needn’t feel bad for trying to find your footing. don’t beat yourself up.
sending peace
xoxo
lisa
.-= lisa´s last blog ..what can you say when a baby dies? =-.
I am so sorry for your loss Heather. I am keeping you in my prayers, as always.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..It’s here! =-.
I’m so sorry for your loss… I will be thinking of you and your friend today, too.
.-= Mijke´s last blog ..Back home. For now… =-.
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, and for her family.
Life is just simply not fair at times, and that is all there is to it.
Sending love and hugs your way, and to Desiree’s family as well.
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..Shoes =-.
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. My prayers are with you and with her family.
.-= Carrie´s last blog ..I watch my daughter sleeping =-.
Cancer is such an ugly bastard. It breaks my heart into a million pieces whenever I hear it has claimed yet another life.
There is a reason you’re in people’s lives. You are a face of hope and inspiration to them, and I’m certain you gave that to Desiree. How beautiful a blessing that you were there for each other through your deepest, darkest trials.
My deepest condolences to you, to Desiree’s family and to everyone else that has been touched by her passing.
.-= Jessalee´s last blog ..The truth about the Super Bowl =-.
I’m so sorry. Like always, you are in my prayers.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Heather your honesty, and integrity astound me. You are so strong, and I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your dear friend. As always, praying for your entire family, and now for the loved ones of your friend as well x
I’m so sorry for your loss. Keeping your family and Desiree’s family in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh my gosh. I am so sorry <3
My heart feels heavy for you and I hope you are kind and understanding with yourself. You are navigating through a lot of emotions right now. You embody so much I admire. As great of a Mommy you are you are also an amazing friend. I am so sorry for your loss, again.
wow Heather! I’m so very sorry for your loss and the sorrow you are experiencing! I will have u in my thoughts tomorrow, especially at 9 am. Love from AZ, @1mcmommy
.-= Patty´s last blog ..A shell of who I was and am… =-.
Oh how terrible! I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry.
The loss of a dear friend is so heart-searingly painful. One of my close friends is battling cancer…again. She’s relapsed, just like your friend. It’s hard – such a small word, four tiny little letters, but it’s what keeps coming to mind. Such a rollercoaster. 
Many hugs in your time of loss.
.-= Claire´s last blog .. =-.
OOhhh Sweetheart,
Another beautiful soul gone too soon. I am truly sorry for you. This should be a time of endless wonder and never ending happiness! Words cannot express how sorry and disappointed I feel your time of “happiness” has been clouded with utter despair.
Heaven received another Angel, Maddie, another auntie and the world….another profound lost.
Today, I will think of your friend….your daughters and as always, I will hold you and your family close to my heart and pray the sorrow you feel with pass leaving only precious memories of your love ones that make you BURST out into a HUGE SMILE!!!!!
Until then..Love and hugs to you my dear friend.
Know I am thinking of you day….every day.
With Love from your Canada,
Jenn
xo
Oh mate, goodness.
I’m so sorry about your friend. I fricken hate cancer. It’s the biggest thief of all.
Love to you. XO
.-= edenland´s last blog ..Truth. =-.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. I’ve never met you, but I think of you, Mike, Maddie, and now Annie everyday. You are are loved by so many people, even those you do not know.
It seems like words are never enough…I just wanted to let you know that I, just another stranger, am thinking about you.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. I cannot imagine the devastation. You are in my thoughts, as is Desiree and her family.
You and Desiree’s family and friends are in my thoughts and prayers today. (((Hugs))) and love to you all.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My thoughts are with you on this difficult day.
Three funerals already in 2010? That is just not right!!!
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, sweet Heather. I hope the first thing she did when she got up there was run and give your Maddie a huge hug and tons of slobbery kisses from her mommy.
Love, hugs and prayers today and always.
I am so sorry. (((hugs))) I know a little about pushing grief aside when a new baby is born- but somehow the grief always manages to come back. I am so sorry your dear friend lost her battle to cancer, and that she didn’t have more time here with you. I will be thinking about you and sending lots of prayers and love your way as you mourn the great loss of your friend, and of course, as you think about Maddie…
your love for maddie and for your friend does not in any way overshadow your love for annie- and if anything, shows the depths you love as a mother and as a friend. you only hurt so much because you care so much… (((hugs))))
xoxo,
Erika
.-= erika´s last blog ..Sunshine & Fresh Air =-.
As my grandmother used to say: Life and death often meet… It keeps us on our toes and to me it is a message about life. How we need to live our lives like there is no tomorrow… We have to live good, love good and laugh good, and ever so often cry a little.
Without our unhappiness we would not know happiness, even if this is a very small and meager comfort. Cry a little Heather, and hopefully, Annie will give you a good laugh today. Sending you a huge love vibe.
.-= catherine lucas´s last blog ..Things to come… =-.
At a time of such great joy, it’s so heartbreaking to see the sorrows that you’ve been dealt yet again. That is a lovely photo which must be so painful for you today. But in it is hopefully a great amount of love, wonder and joy. Memories that you will always cherish.
My thoughts are with you, and if I could send you a bit of extra strength I would.
.-= pixielation´s last blog ..Going for birthdays, bolting and bling =-.
I am so, so, sorry, Heather, that you’ve lost your wonderful friend,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,My thoughts are with you as you say goodbye to her this morning,,,,such a very, very, very, hard thing to do.
Take care sweetheart, and give Maddie’s little sister lots of extra hugs and kisses today…….
Hello Heather, Mike and Annie,
People do come into your life to teach you things, sometimes that you need to turn around and walk away from them; sometimes that you need to turn and make sure you hug them extra hard.
You have met some amazing, wonderful, strong women recently – but I am sorry that you are still struggling with life as you get ready for another funeral. You certainly are having a huge amount of sh!t thrown at you at the moment. And while we are all loving you from afar, that you are functioning at all is amazing, you are an inspiration.
Every time I have a shitty day, I sit and look at the picture of Maddie’s grin on my computer screen, and think – no, no I am not…
Much love, M xx
.-= Maddie´s last blog ..Yogini =-.
Heather,
I am so sorry to hear about Desiree’s passing, I know she was family to you after reading the amazing words you have written about her. I will be thinking of you today.
XOXO
Annie
.-= Annie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
How funny, that the last two comments above mine are from a Maddie and an Annie, respectively. It’s like a little sign to remind you that just as Maddie is always going to be in your lives even if she isn’t here on Earth, so too will Desiree be with you, both of them watching over your little Annie.
I’m so sorry for your loss, cancer is a bitch.
Oh Heather I’m so sorry for your loss.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..At some point though I will need a night out or I will, I promise you, go BATSHIT INSANE =-.
It must be so hard reliving the pain of losing a loved one. I’m so sorry.
This love we shared, I’ll always hold,
A friend is more precious, more wanted than gold
Though it hurts to remember, in my memory
I’ll never forget you, you’re part of me.
That’s a nice picture. An angel on both sides.
Lots of hugs with love to you and your family and Desiree’s family too!
I am so sorry for your loss, I will keep you in my prayers today!
I am so very, very sorry. I know I don’t have to tell you this, but life is just so unfair.
Lots of love to a very special lady (and her family).
.-= ClassyFabSarah´s last blog ..Just a Tip =-.
i am so sorry for your loss.
I am so incredibly sorry. Even that one picture of her shows how full of life she was. I would have liked to have known her.
Oh, Heather. You all have had such a bitter/sweet year. I am so terribly sorry for your loss … Desiree sounds like an amazing woman.
.-= Ruth´s last blog ..Fanboy =-.
It is amazing the amount of loss the human spirit can endure and yet still find the will to live in the present. I think you honored your friend’s life in a fitting way, just as you continue to honor Maddie. I am so sorry for those left behind who must live on without these beautiful people. I pray that you can all find some small comfort both in the power of the lives they lived and in the knowledge that they have not passed entirely away but have passed on…to a place we can only imagine.
.-= Kelley Land´s last blog ..Green Tips =-.
I am so sorry for your loss.
all I will say is how sorry I am to hear this. Hugs to you!
I”m so sorry about your friend. I am sure she will help look after Maddie. Thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort in the upcoming months.
I am so sorry about your friend. She sounds like an amazing woman.
Heather, I’m so sorry.
This is so sad. My heart is breaking for Desiree and her family and friends. Sending hugs your way…
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I can handle 21 inches =-.
Oh, Heather. I’m so sorry. My prayers go out to you and Desiree’s family and friends.
(((Hugs))) from here!
.-= jen´s last blog ..good advice =-.
My heart just breaks for you and Desiree’s famliy. I will be keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers. Please remember you have that beautiful baby to occupy your thoughts; not to mention your wonderful memories of you wonderful friend. Try and focus on the good, I know, it’s easier said than done. That is the only thing that has pulled me through the last couple of diffcult of years. I hate cancer! Pray we find a cure soon!!!
I am so sorry to hear about your wonderful friend Desiree. She sounds like an amazing womamn. Lots of thoughts and prayers for you and her family.
Every death brings back every other death. This is the way of it.
And yet, we go on with the life we have, never forgetting, always honoring, always aware of the gifts we have been given and hold tightly.
.-= Ms. Moon´s last blog ..Sunday =-.
I am sorry for your loss.
Cuddle that sweet baby girl extra close.
.-= Jo´s last blog ..Personal Experience, God and Replying to the Commenter =-.
I am so sorry for your loss and her families loss. Breast Cancer can totally suck it!!!! Hang in there.
Hugs and Love
Kayla
Heather, I’m so sorry for your loss. I am in a similar situation, my best friend is terminal again – we thought after the last round of surgery and chemo that she had beat her cancer but it looks like that’s not going to be the case. I am planning a trip to see her next month and I hope it will give us more memories of one another – which is really more for me than for her. It is going to be so hard to say goodbye and she and I both know that is what this trip is for.
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Hard Work =-.
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. I’ll be praying for your friend, her family and you.
Jocelyn
Jocelyn, so kind of you. Your prayers are gratefully appreciated. <3
Mary,
Praying for a miracle for your friend, and for strength for the both of you.
Hugs.
Kate
Oh, Heather, I’m so sorry. Thinking Desiree, her family, and her friends today.
xoxo
.-= Alison´s last blog ..What is a Twin Good For, Anyway? =-.
I’m so sorry for your and Desiree’s family’s loss. She sounds like a brave woman, and I can see how she would be an inspiration. What a shame that she and Annie can’t get to know each other. I’m sorry that you’re having to cope with this new grief. xx
.-= Jennie´s last blog ..The Lancet issues retraction of MMR ‘dangers’ =-.
Heather I am so sorry for your loss. That just really never seems like enough, but it is all that I can think to say during these times. Words escape me when something terrible and sad happens.
Sorry.
.-= charlane´s last blog ..The Stats =-.
Thinking of you, Heather, and remembering your friend Desiree. I am so very sorry for your loss…
Hugs.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend passing. she sounded like a wonderful person, I bet she is up there with Maddy being the best caregiver for her you could ever hope for.
Heather, I am very sorry for the loss of your dear friend, please try to be strong, sending you warm wishes, Katie.
I am so very sorry for your loss, Heather. I pray that your friend and Maddie are keeping each other company in heaven.
.-= Mama Fuss´s last blog ..7 Quick Takes: More Random =-.
Heather –
I’m so sorry, seriously that sucks. I’ll be thinking and praying for you and Desiree’s family today.
.-= designHer Momma´s last blog ..Are You Ready for Some Football? =-.
Oh Heather, I am so so sorry. No words.
.-= maya´s last blog ..So It’s Actually Happening. =-.
I am very sorry for the loss of your dear friend Heather! Many prayers and positive thoughts for you and all of her family and friends.
.-= Anjie´s last blog ..Under construction… =-.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. My prayers are with you Heather.
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..Friday Photo Challenge: VARIETY =-.
Oh Heather. I am so so sorry. My deepest condolences. I hope you find your hope and love through Annie while you let yourself grieve. Again, I am so so sorry.
.-= Caroline´s last blog ..Married People Dread Valentine’s Day Too =-.
We’re here for you, Heather. You have had so many blows this past year but you keep getting back up and honoring those you love so beautifully. I’ll be thinking of you today – stay strong, and give little Annie some extra cuddles to help you through it.
I’m sorry, Heather, Mike, & Annie. She’s up there with Maddie, holding your little sweet in her arms, looking down on you three, smiling at how beautiful Annie is, will watch her for decades to come.
I’m so, so sorry.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. It sounds like she was an amazing woman, and I’m glad that you had the time with her that you did.
.-= Jen @ lifelove’n'wine´s last blog ..Short. But spicy. =-.
I am so sorry. What a beautiful post for an obviously beautiful woman.
I am so very sorry about the loss of your dear, beautiful friend. I know that the first person she met in Heaven must have been Maddie.
I’m so sorry for your loss Heather. My prayers are with Desiree’s family. Lots of hugs.
Heather, so sorry that you’ve experienced so much loss in the last year. It’s crappy and it sucks and I hate that wonderful people have been taken out of your life too soon.
I know that Annie will hear beautiful stories of Desiree in the future, and that she’s looking after Maddie in Heaven. I hope that helps to comfort you in your time of loss.
My sincerest condolences and I’m so very sorry. Thinking of Desiree, her family and yours, today.
XOXO from GA,
Nikki
Heather-
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost one of my best friends and co-worker to cancer last June. It was a cancer her doctors said she would beat. We watched her struggle to breath and suffer in pain but she came to work almost every day. The day before she died she got good news about a test she had. I went home and told my husband I hadn’t seen her that happy in weeks, maybe months.
The next morning we got the call that she passed in her sleep. I’ll never know what she was thinking there all alone. Is it too much to think that the test wasn’t what made her so happy? Maybe she knew it would all be over soon and her pain would stop? I’ll never know. I miss her like crazy and it is still hard to walk past her desk everyday.
Sending prayers and LOTS of virtual hugs your way.
Jocelyn
I’m so, so sorry to hear about your friend’s passing. I can’t imagine how you must feel. I am thinking of you today, as well as Desiree’s family.
(((hugs)))
It breaks my heart that you’ve had so much loss in so short a time. My prayers and heart go out to you and the family of you friend. Remember her with love, not sadness, when you can!
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your family and Desiree’s family are in my prayers.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Wayne’s Day =-.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
.-= J´s last blog ..Seriously (not) in-depth Sunday morning update =-.
Oh Heather. I am so very sorry for you and Desiree’s family. Some souls must just be too beautiful for Earth.
so sorry for the loss of your friend.
I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences go to you and your friend’s family.
I’m so, so sorry about the loss of your friend. I can’t even imagine.
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..resurfacing =-.
I’m so, so sorry. Desiree sounds like such a wonderful friend and person. She and Maddie must be reconnecting in Heaven- I’ll be praying for you and all of her family & friends. (((hugs)))
Oh no. I’m so, so sorry, Heather. You and her family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Whipped Carrots & Parsnips =-.
I’m so incredibly sorry to hear about the loss of your friends. I’ll be thinking of you and her family today.
Love and hugs.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..New Text4Baby Campaign =-.
So sorry for your loss..she was obviously a beautiful friend.
Oh Heather. I’m so sorry.
Hugs and love
.-= PrincessJenn´s last blog ..That’s My Name =-.
I’m very sorry for the loss of your friend.
I’m so sorry that you lost your friend.
.-= Lisa_in_WI´s last blog ..50 Book Challenge, 5/50: The Nanny Diaries =-.
I’m so sorry. The funeral parade needs to stop for a while!
I am so SO terribly sorry.
Oh no!! I’m sorry sorry you’ve lost such a friend. I hope you are with friends and loved ones today, and that you are all able to support eachother. *hugs*
.-= Kellee´s last blog ..Finally Some Photos =-.
I am so sorry to hear about your friend, she sounds like a wonderful women! God Bless in these tough times.
I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your forever friend. It’s so hard to lose a dear friend, someone who’s been there for you and offered you such comfort and support. My heart is with you at this sad time.
.-= Karen Chatters´s last blog ..Who am I to judge =-.
I am so sorry to hear that news Heather….the only good thing that may come out of this is that Maddie will have her to Love now!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your words spoke volumes about what a beautiful person Desiree was!
.-= Lisa @ lists in my pocket´s last blog ..Weekend in Pictures =-.
Sorry to hear about your sad news, Heather. Annie just needed another angel to watch over her. My thoughts are with you, your family and Desiree’s family too. Now, no more bad things!!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your family & hers will be in my thoughts and prayers today.
My heart is hurting for you today. You are all in my thoughts today. {{{HUGS}}}
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Daddy Kisses =-.
Keeping you, your friend Desiree’s family and her friends in the warm and loving embrace of peace and comfort.
Three funerals this year, and it’s not even Valentine’s day yet. I know life’s not fair but that isjust SO unfair.
.-= Della´s last blog ..Monkey-rina =-.
I’m so so sorry for the loss of you friend. May she rest in peace…
So very sorry, Heather.
There’s nothing that’s okay about that and I’m so sorry.
Dona nobis pacem. Dona nobis pacem.
Give us peace. Give us peace.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Go Ask Aunt Becky =-.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Desiree sounds like an amazing woman. I’ll be thinking of you today, and of Desiree when I need a little extra strength.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your dear friend will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I’m so sorry to hear about Desiree — it sounds like she was an amazing, inspiring woman. I am glad she got to see pics of your beautiful Annie before she passed. My heart goes out to her family and friends.
.-= Sarah R´s last blog ..I am really exhausted =-.
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. How amazingly often loss is intertwined with the beginning of new lives. My mother died the week my son was born 7 years ago. Like you I worried that my sadness over the loss would mar his arrival, and it did, as far as my memory of it. But I’m quite certain that Miss Annabel is experiencing nothing less than the hero’s welcome she deserves in her first weeks!
Gosh Heather I’m so sorry for your loss. Just so sorry.
I’m so sorry Heather, so so sorry. My thoughts are with you guys and her family. *HUGS*
I am so very sorry! Cancer has taken way too many good people way too early. I am especially sorry that you have to feel the pain of another loss.
I really wish i could say something else than I’m so sorry for your loss. Life really is unfai at times.
*hug*
*unfair
I’m very sorry you lost such a dear friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family.
-Karri
It is hard to find those special girl friends that you can always pick up just were you left off if it has been 1 week or 1 year! My heart breaks to hear this about your friend. She sounds like an amazing woman. I am so tired of Cancer!
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Super Bowl =-.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family. Sorry for your lost of such a wonderful friend. XX
I’m so so very sorry about the loss of your dear friend. My thoughts are with you and her family today.
.-= suze´s last blog ..baby, i love your way… =-.
My deepest condolences on the loss of your friend.
I am so sorry for your loss Heather. She sounded like an awesome lady.
((HUGS))
My deepest sympathies on the loss of your dear friend. She sounds like a wonderful person.
i am so very sorry. <3
That is so sad. I’m sorry you lost your friend. A friend of mine, his mother, has just been diagnosed with cancer. I told her about the book “The Middle Place” by Kelly Corrigan. It’s a good read about her and her father’s struggle with cancer.
I’m so sorry. Thinking of you.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your dear friend Desiree. She sounds like a beautiful soul.
Andrea
I am so sorry. Hugs.
.-= Heidi´s last blog ..The Middle of the End =-.
I am so sorry for your loss.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Still here… just busy… =-.
I’m so very sorry to read this. I, too, feel like I have heard of too many losses already in 2010 and all were strong, wonderful women/daughters. I’m glad your friend was able to see pictures of Annie. I’m sure that gave her joy to know your arms were once again around a beautiful daughter. My thoughts are with you and all her friends and loved ones.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have many wonderful memories of your dear friend.
*sniff* God, that sucks. I’m so sorry. *HUGS*
I’m so sorry Heather. Cancer is such a bitch, I hate it.
Heather, I am so very sorry to read about the passing of your good friend. She sounds like a special woman.
Warm thoughts to you and her family as you remember her life …. Hugs, J
.-= Jenny @ http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com/´s last blog ..So Much For Global Warming =-.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. You & yours as well as her family will be in my thoughts & prayers during this difficult time.
I don’t believe that Annie will be marred from your sadness…I know she feels your love & your joy of her presence so strongly.
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Happy Feet~ Our Dancing Queen =-.
Heather I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I know it probably doesn’t help but I can see Desiree and Maddie playing together … they are watching over you and now Desiree is watching over Maddie. Hugs -
.-= MBKimmy´s last blog ..We love the Fishes! =-.
I’m not sure why things happen the way they do, but I do know that you are excellent at honoring the people you love – especially those who have left too soon.
Of course you would think about Maddie now. One day, Annie will be a new mommy, holding a baby, and she will wonder how you ever got through, how you handled those first quiet, emotional days with your second baby while missing your first.
She will think about her big sister and cry for her.
You will tell her about your first days together as mother and daughter, how you grieved for Maddie and celebrated for Annie, and how you lost a dear, sweet, bossy friend and how you promised yourself you would tell Annie about Desiree.
It is OK to grieve for Maddie now. Who would expect otherwise?
.-= Sarah P´s last blog ..Reflections on stuff =-.
So sorry to hear about losing your friend. I can never begin to understand the pain you have been through in life. All I can do is continue to pray for all of you.
God bless you & your family.
Heather,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Desiree’s family.
I know Annie will not feel marred by you expressing your loss of Maddie…it will just show Annie the great love you have for her big sister.
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..What is normal? =-.
Dear Heather, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. My prayers are with you and with her family. Just how heavy does ones heart have to get. ((HUGS)) Love, Debby
Oh Heather, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.
((((((((HUGS))))))))
And you, Heather, an an inspiration for me and thousands of others.
May warm hugs, thoughts and prayers surround you…….
Shannon
Aw, I’m so sad to read this
She sounds like she was a really neat lady and a special friend. I’m so sorry for your loss, and of course for her family’s loss.
Cancer sure sucks, big time. If we had a nickel for every life that was lost to cancer, perhaps we would have found a cure by now:(
You are in my thoughts – always. Desiree sounds like someone I would have loved to be friends with.
And here’s hoping there will be a vaccination for cancer soon!!!!
So sorry to hear you lost your friend Heather.
Prayers for both your families at this time.
.-= Haley´s last blog ..Mural, mural on the wall =-.
Let your grief flow – Annie can handle it and ultimately will benefit from your release.
.-= Scottish lass´s last blog ..Frankenstein. =-.
I’m so so sorry, Heather. What a strong woman. Annie is lucky to have such strong models in her life – all three of you in that photo.
.-= Alicia @bethsix´s last blog ..Minionlympics: BREAKING NEWS =-.
Oh Heather. I’m so sorry.
Heather I’m so sorry. So very sad.
I lost my bestie July 5 2009 to leukemia. She fought hard for 8months but because she was misdiagnosed initially, she couldn’t beat it. She left behind her husband, 7yr old son, 4yr old daughter and 2 yr old son.
I still cry for her every day.
I’m sorry Heather. Cancer took my aunt, and I know how horrible it feels when humans feel powerless against it. She is now in a wonderful place with your sweet little girl. She may not have met Annie in this world, but she can now.
I’m sending you my prayers. Think about the beautiful things you shared, not anything else.
Love,
Marcela
.-= Marcela G´s last blog ..Dopplegangers =-.
Faith….Hope….Love….Peace.
.-= mythoughtsonthat´s last blog ..First Place, Baby! =-.
So, so sorry Heather. *hugs* Not sure what else to say.. I have tears because I just HATE cancer. My aunt is suffering but thankfully still fighting pancreatic cancer. I pray they find a cure for all cancers soon- it is such a nasty, miserable illness.
I’m really sorry. Truly, very sorry.
.-= Shelli´s last blog ..Recovery =-.
I’m sorry about your friend. I have two aunts battling breast cancer right now. I lost my grandma, who was my best friend, to leukemia 7 years ago. Cancer is a horrible disease and steals those most precious from us.
I’m going to add your friend to my prayers tonight. <3
I’m really sorry to hear you lost your friend. Love to you and her friends and family.
xo from CT,
Amanda
Your post broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Yet another lesson in not taking life for granted and making the most of everyday…even as we all struggle through some of the terrible cards we have been dealt!
Take care and i will keep your dear friend and her family close in thought!
Jen
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Little Something =-.
How very sad for you and all who loved her. Understandable you are feeling down. Besides the arrival of beautiful Annie, life has been so very difficult for you the past while.
I too lost two people I adored in a short space of time. It was a year I will never forget.
So sorry to hear the loss of this great woman and my condolences to all who love her.
I am sorry for your loss. I hate cancer. It has taken two of my husband’s co-workers in the last two months. In December breast cancer took my 31 year old cousin. It is such a terrible disease.
Your family and hers are in my thoughts.
Christine
i lost one of my closest friends, completely unexpectedly (41 year old who died of a heart attack) less than a week before my daughter was born . i ended up coming home from the hospital with her the day my friend was buried 1500 miles away. i still struggle with the whole issue.
i can’t imagine your struggle. but i do, as always, admire your strength.
thinking of you (and desiree)
So sorry to hear about your frien, Heather. Cancer is a bitch. I lost my sister in Four months to Lung cancer. We didn’t even have enough time to process the fact that she HAD cancer and she was gone! It is so scary! You never know, life is so unpredictable…Live for today; becuase tomorrow may never come!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Praying love and comfort surround you.
Heather, I’m so sorry. My prayers are with her family and with you (((HUGS)))
.-= Amanda (Garibay Soup)´s last blog ..Just a Motivating Monday – Themed Edition ~ Marriage =-.
I’m so sorry to hear the sad news. I remember you always talking about her. I was wishing we could see that last picture with a happy ending. One more big fighter teaching us a lesson.
HUGS.
Liliana
I’m so sorry for your loss, H. This breaks my heart for you all.
.-= Maria´s last blog ..lived in =-.
So sorry for your loss.
This may sound strange, but it’s ironic that you posted this today. I lost my uncle to cancer this afternoon. Diagnosed in June with lymphoma, he lasted longer than the dr’s gave him but that doesn’t make things easier. He was 72, married for 45 yrs w/ 3 children & 7 grandkids. One of the strongest men I think I’ll ever know. I feel for his family, my family so much & don’t know how on earth they were able to watch him go through this. I hate cancer with a passion. I’ve seen too many people affected by it & too many wonderful people, like my uncle & your dear friend Desiree, be taken because of it. I’m sorry if I took your post & made it about me, but the feelings are just sort of flowing out of me right now. Can’t stop the tears just yet. God bless you & your wonderful friend, Desiree.
I’m so, SO sorry for your loss of your dear friend Desiree. I’d like to think that she’s taking care of Maddie for you in Heaven, while you watch over Annie.
Again: I’m sorry….
I am so sorry as well, Heather. Life is not fair sometimes. Please know that Desiree is now with Maddie, and both of them will be watching over you, Mike and Annie. Still, for us left on earth, we miss our loved ones so much.
Here is something that might put a small smile on your face:
“I like to look in puddles. When I smile, they smile. When I laugh, they laugh. And when I cry, they don’t mind getting wet.” Poem by Frank Asch (have no idea who that is).
You and Mike are the best, and you deserve joy on this earth. I wish you rainbows and purple butterflies. We’re going to get whammed tonight and tomorrow with about 12 inches of heavy wet snow, wish I could send you some!
I am sorry for the loss of your dear friend Desiree. Prayers for her family and you Heather…. May you hearts be filled with peace and strength.
So sorry about Des, may she rest in peace. My dad los his battle on January 16, 2010. I miss him every second of my days and nights, cancer sucks!
One of my friends just beat cancer but she is petrified of it coming back too. She is due to have reconstructive surgery in May… I’m so sorry about your friend and my concern for my friend will never go away because I know of all the possibilities… Im so sorry about your loss.
.-= krissy´s last blog ..Why is it always me!? =-.
Oh Heather, I am so terribly sorry…
.-= Sara K.´s last blog ..Raia Reading =-.
So sorry to hear about your friend.
.-= Jen L.´s last blog ..Untitled (by choice) =-.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend.
I am so very sorry you lost such an amazing friend and the world lost another great person
God Be With You
What a beautiful picture! I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.. I lost my Father on January 31, 2010 after he lost his battle with cancer as well. Here’s to finding a cure, and to your friend Desiree!
3 funerals in 2010 already? Crazy, and very sad. Heather, I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend.
this makes my heart so heavy. i’m terribly sorry for the loss of your friend.
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..It’s Always The Same… Just Different. =-.
This is very sad news and I will be praying for her loved ones.
.-= Pamela @ 2 Much Testosterone´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – White Trash Edition =-.
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is just all so painful.
You have to hope that God kept her here long enough to actually see a picture of your Annie being born, so that when she went to be with Him, and when she was joined with your amazing Maddie, she could literally give her the play by play of her new sister. In doing so, Maddie could come to you happily in your dreams..
May Peace be with you all at this time.
So sorry.
.-= One Crusty MOM-E´s last blog ..I am the SNOW MOMSTER =-.
I am so sorry for your loss as well as the loss she is to her family! Prayers with all of you tonight for comfort.
.-= Melanie B´s last blog ..Roxanna Illuminated Perfume $30 Gift Certificate GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!! =-.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
.-= wm´s last blog ..Nothing makes my day more than a kid-friendly cafe =-.
Heather, you have indurred so much pain this past year. It’s f’in’ rediculous! You seriously need a break. I am so sorry about your friend. Which brings me to ask you about your other friend that had the stroke. I’m hoping that’s not one of the funerals you went to. Please fill us in on how she is. Please tell me that she’s recovering nicely. Hang in there Sista!
I am so sorry, Heather. Life has really tested you guys recently. I am so glad you got Annie in the midst of it all.
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