There are some nights when I open my computer up to write, and the words pour out of my fingers as if they are coming from another place. And then there are other nights when I stare at the screen and think, “remember when I used to write about flashing my boobs at a nail salon?”
Man, I miss that. Well, not the flashing part.
I sit down many nights intending to tell a funny story. There are so many I haven’t told. Then, suddenly, I’ll realize what day it is. Today marks eight weeks since I last kissed my little girl. I feel like I should write something serious and profound.
But honestly, I’m tired of serious. And as much as I find comfort in all of the comments and emails I get from all of you, I want a day where I don’t hear “I’m sorry.” And today is the day for that.
As some of you know, I used to work for the professional baseball team that is based in Los Angeles (the one that is ACTUALLY in LA, not the one in Anaheim). When the team was in town, I worked late nights and weekends. And, of course it sucked to have to work 12 hour days when I had my family at home, but I liked my job and it came with cool perks.
My coworkers hated working on the weekends, but I actually didn’t mind. On the weekends, employees brought their family members to the games. I always brought Maddie. Without fail, she’d fall asleep on the way to the stadium, so I’d leave her in her car seat and carry her to my office on the club level. I would then carefully tuck her carrier under my desk, where she would remain undetected until she woke up.
When she was younger, she usually slept through the entire game. But as she grew older, she’d wake up, and staying in her carrier was NOT an option. She wanted out, she wanted to explore! Sometimes she’d crawl around on the floor of my office, or she’d sit on my lap while I made phone calls. Often, she’d find herself in the arms of one of my coworkers. They’d take her all around the stadium, introducing her to new people and showing her things from a different perspective. Every now and then I would catch a glimpse of her laughing at a new friend, or clapping with the crowd after a home run, and I’d think, “I am so lucky I have such a happy, friendly baby.”
One Saturday at the end of last season, Maddie was sleeping under my desk like she usually did before the game started. A large group of people walked by, including the legendary Tommy Lasorda. Tommy and Maddie had a special relationship. He visited her in the NICU, so he truly understood how far she’d come. He loved to hold her and tell everyone nearby, “When I first met her she was no bigger than my hand!” It always awed me that one of my childhood heroes knew who I was, so the fact that he knew and cared about my daughter made me shake my head in disbelief. But he really DID love Maddie. Just like everyone.
So it was no surprise when he stopped in front of me that night and boomed,
“HEATHER! Where is that beautiful baby?!”
“She’s actually taking a little nap right here next to me, Tommy.”
He came around to my side of the desk.
“MADELINE! There you are!”
Maddie’s eyes popped open. She looked at Tommy, looked at me….looked at Tommy…and then SHRIEKED louder than I had EVER heard her. Everyone went silent. I was mortified.
Tommy just laughed and said, “Sorry I woke you sweetheart! I’ll see you soon!” and then he gave her a kiss and walked away.
Unfortunately, that was the last time he saw her. Tommy has been in touch and he is so sad about Maddie. I never got a picture of them together. I always thought, “eh, I’ll get it next time.”
But I can picture them together in my mind. Tommy is making faces and funny noises, and Maddie is laughing. Only shrieks of joy.
{ 132 comments… read them below or add one }
It was on the tip of my tongue to say how cool for Maddie, but actually, how lucky for Tommy to have met and loved Maddie.
Thanks for sharing this story of your beautiful little girl whose smile lights up places around the world.
Sarah (Perth, Western Australia)
Sarah P’s last blog post..A very long engagement.
OK, so that was totally worth it. Awesome post. Would be better if was Willie Mays, but still awesome. I think you know my favorite part.
Ben’s last blog post..Golden Boy Catches a Dinosaur
I can just imagine her big beautiful eyes darting between you & Tommy & I just have to laugh at the thought of it. I’m sure they were bigger than usual. I love to hear about your beautiful daughter
Donna.
Aw, that’s so sweet. I had to giggle at you getting mortified. Ha. Such a cute bond. ?
In Due Time’s last blog post..It All Started With Rocks
I can imagine Maddie’s shriek and I’m sure it was hilarious! Please share those funny Maddie stories we all could use a good chuckle!
That is beautiful! Tommy Lasorda looks like the kinda guy kids would love, or actually anybody. He’s got that “grandpa” look to him I guess. He was VERY lucky to know Maddie. I only know her through your posts but she is a beautiful angel. That smile was infectious, and I can only imagine the laughs Tommy had when she shrieked. Never wake a sleeping angel!
what an awesome perk to bring your daughter to work and to have her share in your passion. From what I know you enjoyed your passion as well.
Thanks for sharing this funny Maddie story!
Jen’s last blog post..Flickr
OMG that is such a great set of stories! What a joy that Maddie and Tommy got to know one another. How cool. Truly delightful, brings a big smile to my face.
& YES, Anaheim is NOT LA!
I’m imagining the shriek like in the video on her father’s lap in her little monkey onesie =) Only LOUDER!
She is unimaginably beautiful. She would have been able to inspire ANYONE to love her
Kelly’s last blog post..One is better than none, right?
great story, thank you for sharing….to know her is to love her!!!
sending hugs today and every day.
xxoo
kristen
(an orioles gal married to a red sox fanatic)
It must be really something to work with a childhood idol. And how cool that he’s such a nice guy. When I was a kid I followed the *team from L.A.* and Steve Sax was my favorite player. I lived in the Midwest but watched every game on tv. Remembering Tommy on tv back then when he was coach, I can totally picture that day in your office. Too funny!
What a cool connection for Maddie to have. Thank you for sharing that story.
Why am I not surprised that Maddie rolled with a celebrity posse? Awesome story.
xo from CT,
Amanda
amanda’s last blog post..my rock and roll life
I agree with Sarah
All my love.
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What a great story! You have done such an amazing job of sharing Maddie with the people in your life, and you keep on sharing. How big is your heart, woman!
Thinking of you today, and always.
Casey’s last blog post..Not another ice cream pun to start a post
I really could never think of Tommy Lasorda without thinking about slimfast. heh. now I’ll think about Maddie shrieking. that’s WAY better.
ali’s last blog post..UP, HELP, and FREEZE
I am a Cubs fan, but I still think it is monumentally cool that you a)worked for the team in LA; and b) that Maddie got to meet Tommy Lasorda! Awesome!
that’s the way….remembering her smiling and laughing….love that:) keep that picture close by great to hear you getting good memories/happy memories and picturing how she was.
Love you guys xxxx
Lisa
Sweet baby girl had EVERYONE wrapped around her little finger!
Maggie and Lasorda are quite equal forces and come to think about it they are both are known to shriek from time to time.
Heather I like the passion you always show for ALL your work- it shows and how TOTALLY cool to be able to have a special relationship with a childhood ‘idol’ (don’t know if that’s the right word or not)!!
Thank you so very much for making me smile today!
LOL! Whoops. How cute.
It’s so great that you were able to make such amazing memories like this one with Maddie! That little girl was so lucky to have you as her Mother.
What a wonderful memory.
Amelia Sprout’s last blog post..A whole bunch of questions.
Thanks for sharing that lovely story! you made me remember how my husband used to bring my daughter by my work at lunch in her carseat and she would sleep for hours while I worked. Have a good day, Heather, thanks for making us all smile!
You can write about anything you like Heather. Don’t put up faces for us. If you are joyful, share the joy, if you are sad, share the sadness if you can.
I can up to point imagine that 300 sorry’s a day is a bit much…
I often wonder if writing is helping you, I hope so. I hope that your group of groopies makes a difference.
I have no idea who Lasorda is, as I am not at home around a baseball field. The only baseball experience I have is the Sandlot Kids… I will never understand though why they run and hit a sand pit in a corner, to then slide towards hmmm, what??? Where do they slide to? Europeans can be daft!
Get out some more giggling movies about Maddie…
catherine lucas’s last blog post..When in Bruges…
Maddie really did Roll in Style! Awesome!
If I brought my son into work it would be pure chaos…I’m quite sure that story wouldn’t turn out be something so cute and funny….more likely we’d see a story hit the 6 o’clock news involving mischief and mayhem and a government building spontaneously catching on fire!
wn’s last blog post..so called chaos
You are a great writer. Thanks for sharing all these wonderful stories of Maddie with us. Maybe if they get told often enough and by enough people, she’ll star in her very own fairy tale one day. There once was a beautiful girl, with golden hair and the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen. Her name was Madeline and …
Ha, I love that she shrieked at him. Also, how cool for all of you. She was one amazing little girl.
Christine’s last blog post..I don’t like Mondays
I had to google him. As soon as I saw his face I knew who he was.
Midwest Mommy’s last blog post..Totally Ticks Me Off Tuesday!
I LOVE your love for sports, Heather. I’m a rabid football fan myself (Boston College and the Atlanta Falcons). When I have kids someday, if Matt Ryan ever told me they were cute or wanted to take them around the football stadium, I think my life would be complete.
What a great and fun memory of Maddie!!
Aww, That brought tears to my eyes again. The people that knew her were so blessed. Thanks for shraing that with us. I miss watching her bight blue eyes light up. My thoughts and prayers are with you daily..
hugs,
I LOVE IT!
I think I’d shriek if I woke up to him all up in my grill, too.
What a wondeful story. What a wonderful memory! I think that I would swoon if one of my Phillies heros met my daughter and called her by name!
Thank you Heather for sharing your life with us.
Great story, thanks for sharing it with us.
That is such a nice memory! A good way to look up is through memories!
Courtney in New York
I love this story! My husband has met Mr. Lasorda several times in his business, and I always love to hear about their meetings… what a generous man. Thanks so much for sharing this special Maddie moment.
Awesome story!
I am NOT sorry you got to call Maddie your own – how’s that?
Tommy Lasorda, huh? She was a little superstar!!!!!!!!!
I have personally always wanted to hug Tommy Lasorda. He seems like a nice huggy sort. Of course no surprise that he loved Maddie.
Beautiful, beautiful story! Thanks so much for sharing this memory, it is absolutely precious and so amazing that your little Maddie Moo was able to shine her star in Tommy’s world! What a precious gem, that Maddie!
What a great story! And I like the new blog design, nice shade of purple…Maddie would be impressed.
I never knew Maddie in real life, but I feel like I’ve gotten to know her through your writing. I just wanted to say Thank You for giving me a chance to “know” her, and what a blessing she was to so many people. She’ll live on through your stories and memories of her. She’s a beautiful soul.
Hi Heather -
Love the new design and color! Love the story and that you share your family with us.
Thanks for sharing such a great memory!
Hoping you have a better day than the one before.
Michelle
Herculaneum, MO
I haven’t commented because I haven’t wanted to say I’m Sorry AGAIN. Because it’s not enough.
So I’ll say this.
You, and everyone else who knew Maddie, were so lucky. It’s not enough, but for that time it was so, so much.
Yay Heather! Great post.
i had no idea you used to work for *that* team…and side by side with Tommy. That’s pretty cool.
What a great story. It sounds like Tommy and Maddie had a little bond. Keep on telling the stories, I love to read them.
Baseball is my passion (Go Astros!) this post made me SMILE!!!
XOXO
Tommy Lasorda’s (now defunct) restaurant in Marina del Rey is the first place I ever had Mozzarella Sticks. I’ll always love him for that.
Love the design….it’s perfect.
Awesome story! But, I have to admit, I would probably shriek too if I woke up to Tommy Lassorda in my face. I’m just saying…
Thank you for sharing the funny and happy moments too.
I shriek when anyone wakes me up. period.
Now wait, there’s another baseball team besides the Dodgers? Who knew?
Even Tommy LaSorda knew it, Maddie is absolutely delicious. Everyone who’d see her would fall in love. She is a heartbreaker….and you are the lucky one that got to kiss her cheeks.
Love the purple!!
Hilarious!!! Totally made me laugh out loud on the Bart train I’m on! Being a loyal Giants fan, I’ve never been a fan of Tommy Lasorda. (i think it’s against the rules) :0) But I am now. I’ll never think of him again and not think of this story. I love it!
The Famous Madeline. Maddie, the Celebrity (sh)Moozer. She rolled with a posse, just as any self-respecting A-list toddler would.
Hugs.
Such a great story. Thanks for sharing it. I love Tommy Lasorda. He is a legend! That’s so awesome that you have those memories of him with your Maddie.
Awesome story! What a mark Maddie left in this world. BTW, love the new look of the blog and of course the purple is the best.
(((HUGS))) from Deltona, Fl
::hug::
Sweet girl. Sweet girls, both of you.
Fabulous story. Puts Tommy LaSorda in a whole new light for me. I also love that he visited Maddie in the NICU, that says a lot.
What an awesome story. I can’t wait to hear you tell more like this.
LOVE the new blog design!!!
Tommy Lasorda, huh? Very cool. Such a funny story about Maddie shrieking like that. But when you think about it, wouldn’t most people react that way if they suddenly woke to Tommy Lasorta in their face yelling, “There you are!!!!”
I know I would.
Ahhhh….loved this post! Thanks for sharing:)
Oh, I agree with Sarah P’s comment completely…
Steph
Great post and Tommy Lasorda?? WOW! The most exciting person I see during the day is the Fedex guy!!
What a great story! Thank you for sharing!!!
The site looks gorgeous.
And thank you for the story.
I want to kick Tuesdays in the balls for you.
I’m sure I don’t speak only for myself when I say that I DO miss the flashing part.
This is an awesome story. Tommy is a lucky man to count Maddie as his friend.
What a sweet story!
I can just picture Maddie under your desk!! It is great that you did so much with Maddie and showed her all of the wonderful things in life. I can just imagine what that shriek sounded like!! Ha Ha
too funny
Tommy is good peeps. Lovely story.
Just by looking at her pictures it is no surprise to me that Tommy Lasorda fell in love with Maddie. She was just a bright ray of sunshine!
It is no suprise to me that yet another person fell in love with her.
She certainly had quite a following! Celebrities, no less! That’s a great memory.
That was an awesome post Heather! I never had the honor of meeting Maddie. but I have poured over her pictures and as I was reading the post, I too could picture her with Tommy…..what a little love.
Holy Shit! How cool is that! Right on! Oh, and thanks for the amazing read… nicely done!
He-he, I shriek too if Tommy Lasorda woke me up!!!
I’m trying to hide my insane jealously that TOMMY LASORDA held your baby. How am I doing? Because oh.my.gosh.
Love the redesign BTW.
WOW! I always knew she would be hangin w/ celebs one day…I am so glad to hear she really got to! Thanks for the smile
Aww, what a cool story. Thanks for sharing it.
The pictures you keep in your heart are better than any taken with a camera.
What a beautiful memory!
Hugs
What an awesome story!
What a great story, Heather, thanks for sharing! I have George Costanza-type images of Maddie under your desk with a pillow and little shelf with an alarm clock. Too funny! And how perfect… his nap was at the ball diamond too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvaWC3t4_Jc
And for the record, I flashed in Walmart. You are *so* much classier than me. But do tell… how does that happen, mid-manicure?!?
My friends and I are going to do the NICU visit here in AZ as soon as my mom gets it cleared with her hospital…will take pics and then send them. Where were you in AZ during spring training?
You are such a vivid writer. I laugh at your funny stories. Marvel at both your husband’s and your strength and honesty. Hoping that I could be that strong. Whereas I know….that I will never ever be that funny. I try and try (it takes 30 minutes for joke at times or I’m sitting trying to figure out the punchline).
So hold onto your laughter.
Hi – I’m happy for you that you have these awesome memories with Maddie to look back on and laugh at. Thank you for sharing your memories. If you want to be sad, then go for it – but I am glad you are able to share moments and stories such as this one too. I think your new blog design is lovely, and I think you are an incredible person. I continue to think of your family everyday, and I wish you peace.
~ Michele in Staten Island, NY
LOVE the purple redesign!
Great story!!
Hugs your way…
What a great story!! And love, love the new look!
There is nothing like celebrating great memories. Thanks for sharing with us!
Poor kid. What a shock to wake up and see that face looking at her! Haaa!
sweet.
I’d say she was a lucky girl, but she made her own luck. It’s an awesome memory and an adorable story.
What a cute story. Thanksfor continuing to share neat stories about Maddie-I love learning more about her. Ü
I experienced a loss. Afterwards, I was so blue and grief stricken and just was lost because my world had reordered itself and never sent me the memo! It was a struggle to keep on my stable face for the kids. I looked forward to private time where I could sob, that felt good. But grief just sucked. When I was grieving, I couldn’t feel the connection to what I had lost, it was like static. Finally, I decided to just look at the new world order, the way it was, and remembered all of the good times and memories that I had. When I could do that, I started to feel a connection again, the static quieted a bit. I still am a little lost, but allowing myself let go of the grief a little bit, makes me feel the connection and that makes me feel better. I really do believe that when we lose someone in this world, they go to a place right next door and are even closer to us than they were in life. It isn’t satisfying to us at all because we crave that sensual connection, but I do believe that they are with us.
Love the story! =D
She really is such a doll! How fun that your coworkers all got to know her so well. Such a bright spirit is always such a blessing to know. Again, thanks for sharing her with all of us!
Ok, that is SO awesome!!!
Luv the new design! I bet you met a lot of interesting people! What a fun job! And getting to take your baby with! LUV that! Tommy sounds like a good dude. He has good taste in babies! Thanks for sharing the story!
I love it.
I love that you have such a great story about Tommy Lasorda. Living in LA and working in the entertainment biz, I’ve met a lot of celebs and more times than not, they are such a disappointment. It’s so nice to hear a happy story about a celeb. Though with Maddie, I’m prety sure even the most hardened or egotistical celeb would be won over by that smile.
GO BLUE!
1. What a beautful story, Heather! Maddie can be an angel to Tommy now!
2. Congratulations on this new phase of your healing process. Maddie surely is smiling upon her wonderful mama!
Hilarious! Great story of such an irresistible sweetie (Maddie that is!! – but Tommy sounds pretty sweet too!)
I follow your blog religiously, and have grown to love your little Maddie. What a wonderful story you shared today!! Some great memories!!
Thank you for sharing Maddie with us!!
I’ve been on vacation for ten days now and have missed your posts, but thought of you often. What a funny, cute story you’ve shared with us!!!
Love the new design
What a beautiful memory! It made me smile.
Oh, silly man, waking a sleeping baby like that.
Great story. Thanks for sharing it!
Love it. LOVE it.
What a great memory. Tommy Lasorda?!
It would seem Maddie had no problem making friends
I am glad to hear you posting happy memories of your darling Maddie. Keep on keeping it real. We want to hear it all.
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful stories of Maddie.
And dude, I LOVE the new look!
Oh, I love this story… I can just picture Tommy and your adorable Maddie… beautiful.
Pretty baby…I like what you’ve done to the site…you’ve been busy…your pumps must have given you energy…haha
I just saw that you added those lovely pix of your beautiful angel! I also wanted to say that I am so…. Happy for you that you were able to spend that time at work with such a precious angel!!
Well she played it cooler than I would have. I probably would have passed out. Tommy is the man! Who is easily swayed by big beautiful eyes.
Love the pictures! Such a great smile.
Good to know Tommy L. is a cool as he seems and that you’re still hanging in there. Keep on living, H.
Maddie is an absolute doll. I am not sure how I found your blog but I do remember it was a post about losing Maddie. I have suffered similar loss and empathize with you. I was on the Reeces Rainbow adoption site today and saw a little boy that reminded me of Maddie. He is listed under the other angels/boy page and his name is Randy. I just thought maybe you would be interested in seeing him and seeing a little glimpse of Maddie in him. I love your honest and open writing and I love hearing aboutr your little Maddie!
shrieks of joy –how lovely–thank you for that story.
Love the photos. Beautiful!
Wonderful story and so beautiful photos!
Oh, the photos!! (did you add those later, because they didn’t show up on my first visit!) So. fracking. adorable.
I LOVE this photo of Maddie! SO PRECIOUS!
Hi Heather,
You are a wonderful writer. I enjoy your stories & wonderful pictures of Madeline. You inspire me to be better about taking pictures of my kids & family & saving memories. Even though we are strangers, I think of you & your husband. Keep your chin up & know there are many, many people sending you strength. :O) Hope your Wednesday is a good one.
Love, Jenny
What a beautiful memory, thank you for sharing.
This was very sweet … I love the picture of you holding her and her sleeping so peacefully…. She is beautiful…
xoxoxox
I just love that picture of her sleeping in your arms…. ((Hugs)) Keep sharing these memories. We love to hear them….
I LOVE this story. And would love more
I worked for a baseball team after college (sport mgmt degree) and Oh! How I loved going to work. Getting paid for going to a baseball game was awesome…meeting the people, getting to meet some guys I watched when I was growing up was awesome. Some people are better to just know from afar, but there were some players who were just as cool when you met them as you thought they were when you were 13!
A friendly baby is a true blessing.
Both my girls would FREAK OUT if someone new even looked at them. I once had to ask a woman in a grocery store not to make eye contact with my Emma, she was that anti-social
What a beautiful picture of you and Maddie. Loved the post, as usual