Maddie has two older boy cousins and a younger girl cousin arriving in September. She ADORED her cousins. She thought they hung the moon.
Spencer is three years older than her, old enough to know Maddie and appreciate her. I hope with all my heart that he remembers her. Danny, on the other hand, was less than a year older than Madeline, so I don’t think he’ll have any memories of her. Luckily, we have videos of them playing together.
Back in March I made an ill-fated attempt to make Maddie shriek (long story) and my little point and shoot camera fell in a fountain. I was pretty pissed because it was totally my fault. I put the camera aside to dry off, hoping that it might eventually work again. I forgot about it until yesterday. It suddenly hit me that there were dozens of videos on the memory card, videos I hadn’t gotten around to uploading. So I grabbed the memory card, put it in my card reader, and held my breath…and it worked. Over eighty videos, many I hadn’t seen since the day they were taken.
This will be one of the first videos I show Danny when he’s older. It was taken on Christmas morning, after all the presents were opened and the toys assembled. So of course, Danny and Maddie wanted nothing to do with the toys. They were more content to play with the packaging and talk to each other in their special language.
if you can’t see the video above, click here
Who knew cardboard could be so fun?
{ 172 comments… read them below or add one }
My God. What a gift. I think of you guys always. Keep writing. Please.
.-= Ben´s last blog ..She’s a Peach, She’s a Doll, She’s a Pal of Mine* =-.
How wonderful that you have those precious videos. I just can never get over what an adorable little elf she is.
.-= Avasmommy ´s last blog ..There’s Something About the Internet =-.
Oh what a special find!
So glad you found these precious recordings. So sad you don’t have sweet maddie to hold. Thinking of you heather and mike xx
What a cute video!
Funny how cardboard is like gold to kids.
Maddie’s expression was like, “What? Dude, chill. It’s just a flap of cardboard. Relax.”
.-= Katrina´s last blog .. =-.
What a fantastic find! I am so happy for you and Mike and the rest of the family, discovering this treasure. And I will look forward to each new video you post of Maddie.
I must tell you how Maddie just grabs my heart, besides my own child Maddie’s pictures I never get tired of seeing, or the little videos..it is really something I can’t explain to be drawn to the life of another person’s child. She just exudes personality and spirit. I feel like she is so alive and experience sadness when I remember she is not on Earth right now. Such a wonderful and special little girl, I wish I had known her in real life. At least I get to know of her.
I could not have said this better myself. I am drawn to this site everyday to see a glimpse of Maddie. I think of Heather and Maddie almost everyday. Heather, I hope your pain lessens each day and I thank you for sharing your little Maddie with all of us.
.-= kymberli q.´s last blog ..Joelle – Finished! =-.
Donna and Kymberli, thank you both for putting my thoughts into words.
What an incredible find =))) I’m so glad that the videos were ok!
Such precious memories. Such an amazing little angel.
Cardboard is the bestest. toy. ever.
Hugs to you and yours.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..DUCK! =-.
How excited were you when you realised you hadn’t lost the videos? I am really pleased you found some more. Much love, M xx
.-= Maddie´s last blog ..IBS and wheat intolerence =-.
That is so awesome that the videos survived their dip in the fountain! So awesome! And even more awesome that you found them now. … (((Hugs)))
What an incredible gift. I hope they keep coming your way…
Cheryl
Bless their little hearts… I wished I could explain to all people how important photographs and small video’s are… If a person has passed away, they are the stuff memories are made off. Besides memories in your head, they add an extra value if a person is no longer there…
How truly fortunate that the card survived the bath, and that you now find more snippets of her life…
.-= catherine lucas´s last blog ..Fog and castles =-.
I’m so glad that the videos are ok! And grateful to you for sharing these treasures. My younger two right now are very like Maddie and Danny in this video. Your writing helps remind me how lucky I am, and to enjoy every moment I have with them. I think of you and Mike often, sending you warm fuzzies (wish there was more I could do).
.-= Kate in NZ´s last blog ..Crazy Hair Day =-.
i can’t say anything more eloquent than what has already been said, but i feel it, too. watching video of maddie just makes me smile! she has the most gorgeous eyes. i remember one of the first things i read on your blog said something about her sunshine eyes. beautiful! and so fortunate to have so many pictures and videos. thank you for sharing, all that you have. you inspire me to make more of my kids. i think of your family often.
more love to you from portland.
What a gift! It’s like Maddie sent these to you to make you happy! I think that’s true! xoxo
.-= kelly´s last blog ..June Milestones =-.
i love that crooked smile =)
<3
.-= Sara @heartmychloe´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
I love that wide-eyed, serious look. Precious!
wow. this is truly amazing that you were able to recover it. what a special child. you’re in my thoughts.
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Tuesday Night =-.
I love this digital age of video cameras and thousands of pictures of our children before they even hit their first birthday. I’m glad you have so many wonderful pics of your Maddie. She’s captivating!
.-= Kathryn´s last blog ..40 + 1 =-.
What a gift! I’m so glad you found these!
.-= ali (adil320)´s last blog ..Panic! at home =-.
OMG that just took my breath away, so incredible!
So thats… a video a day for the next 79 days??? I really LOVE seeing the photos and videos of Maddie.. she is sooooo damn cute!!! Thinking of you both xxx
What a wonderful find. Thinking of you, Mike and Maddie now and always. Be well.
.-= Christine´s last blog ..Titles =-.
Oh, score! What a find!
Looks like they were great friends.
What a calm, sweet spirit Maddie has. I love how her cousin is yelling at her and she’s just watching him, not angry, not scared, not whiny – just watching him and then finding her own cardboard to play with. What a good girl! I read your blog daily – my little son is the light of my life, so I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. But amidst it all, you’re taking the time not only to preserve her memory but to share her adorable face and antics with us – not to mention brutal honesty about what you and your husband are going through. You are all incredible, and I’m just so sorry. But I so admire your strength of steel in enduring and sharing your story.
Oh I’m so glad you found those videos. That is awesome and I love you.
.-= perksofbeingme´s last blog ..Guest post =-.
Heather,
This is so wonderful. You will find at those times where you know you have hit an all time low that something will happen and Maddie will be right there for you in some way. This is her way of flipping off the woman from the other day and letting you know how very wonderful you are to her.
Have a great day. I know being able to go through these new finds will give you what you need.
Watching this, I just want to pick her up and squeeze her. What a little love she is.
Thinking of you.
.-= Casey´s last blog ..Raw deal =-.
What beautiful sweet memories of gorgeous Maddie, so glad the card worked.
Look how calm Maddie is sitting there with the cardboard, while her cousin got vocal about it.
Shows her sweet precious nature.
Love sent to you Heather and Mike.
love you Maddie Girl…
keep smiling
.-= Lisa Wood´s last blog ..Trip To Canberra =-.
Truly, what a gift (both Maddie, and the videos).
I’ve never met you, nor did I ever have the chance to meet your sweet baby.. but this makes me want to search through all of my cameras to see if I have any pictures or video of her that I might possibly have forgotten about, just to give you one more bit of her.
Praying for you every day, Mama.
.-= Corey´s last blog ..Life, Take Two =-.
ohhhhh Heather. ohhhhhhh.
My grandpa made lots of awesome with wood. After I lost him, I wished there was something new I would find. I never did.
Til.
17 years later, going through my Dad’s mountain of …. anyway.
A bag of wooden napkin rings. They could only have been made by Grandpa.
Awesome.
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..Because I need a new hobby =-.
I woke up thinking about you guys this morning. The video is fantastic. I’m so glad all your clips survived. I know you’ll treasure them.
.-= Jen L.´s last blog ..Vacation: Part Deux =-.
Heather -
I am SO glad your videos survived! What a blessing. 80 clips of your precious baby girl.
Thinking of you -
Tina
.-= Tina´s last blog ..Thankful Thursday #5 =-.
Hilarious! That’s the big parenting joke, I think: the REAL reason toddlers want big fancy toys is because they have the most packaging. I would love to see your attempt to make Maddie shriek, by the way.
I am so glad that your memory card worked!
Christmas in July.
.-= ali´s last blog ..Oh, and this was Wednesday. =-.
LOVE the drool coming off Danny’s chin as he is defending his cardboard. Too freaking cute. Glad the video card worked!
(((hugs)))
.-= ryanandjoesmom´s last blog ..I am NOT relaxed and I have drank/drunk tea =-.
Beautiful. I’m so glad it worked for you.
I wish I knew What maddie was thinking when danny screamed at her. She was so Calm. it’s so neat that the videos were saved, what a treasure full of memories you will have of your sweet little maddie,
Thinking of you always,
hugs
I am so glad the card worked. 80 new videos is a treasure.
.-= Midwest Mommy´s last blog ..5 Years! =-.
Heather,
I was curled up on my couch watching how adorable th
.-= Amanda ´s last blog ..Things I Love Thursday =-.
Heather,
I was curled up on my couch watching how adorable they were when my 16 month old son, Ethan, sat up next to me. (the same one who hit submit while i was typing the previous entry, sooo helpful!) Anyway, he started clapping and saying BaBy and babbling back to them. He insisted we watch it over and over, it was like he was cheering for Maddie to get the cardboard. When I finally said, “Ok, no more for right now” He blew her a kiss and said bye bye.
I think I will have to show him more of those videos on your site! Even my Ethan carries Maddie in his heart!
.-= Amanda ´s last blog ..Things I Love Thursday =-.
That’s probably the most amazing surprise and recovery I’ve heard of! A true gift that all of the photos and videos were salvaged! Amazing!
Maddie looks so freakin’ cute in her jammies!
OOohh Sweetie….I cannot tell you how HAPPY I am you remembered & found your camera again and all the video’s!!! What a GIFT!!!!!!
I love the video of the kids. Maddie cracks me up…I love how she just sits there, looking at the little boy like “What’s your problem”?…. ” Well, I’m going to tickle you then” !!! I think one of my favourite parts of the video is hearing you laugh. It was so nice to hear you laugh Heather…you have such a cantageous laugh. I couldn’t help but smile when I heard you. Anyone can see/hear how much you love and adore your little girl!
Enjoy your gifts and thank you for sharing with us all. I appreciate it soooo much!
Thinking of You Always,
Your Stranger Friend,
Jenn
I’ve been reading here for a few months, but have never commented before. However, I agree that these videos are precious and I am glad you have them. We are fortunate enough to have video and audio of my grandparents, and I love to watch, just to hear their voices again. How much more that must be true for you.
While you say that you don’t feel strong, I admire your strength. In your place, I don’t know if I could do it.
Is it weird that I gave a little WOOT! WOOT! to the gods of wonderful? What a great belated birthday gift!
.-= Susan´s last blog ..I’m So Excited.. I’m So Excited!! =-.
So glad you found those!!! What a wonderful thing to have!
How absolutely adorable. I love the ‘language’ they speak. The language of kids and love.
What an precious blessing for you to find right now.
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Need Input =-.
How wonderful that the videos worked! A room full of toys and they fight over cardboard. Classic! Glad you are still writing and sharing with us.
It’s like treasure…so wonderful. From just another stranger who thinks of you often.
i’m so overjoyed for you to have discovered these!
.-= laura´s last blog ..July Goals =-.
OMG, REALLY?! 80 videos?! Wow.
I love how she’s all “WTF, dude?” in that video.
i love how danny repeatedly yells at maddie and maddie’s all “um… yeah, tickle.” and danny continues yelling “NO!” and then maddie’s all like, “cool, more cardboard. peace man, peace.”
soooooo glad you found that memory card and it worked.
priceless.
.-= nic @mybottlesup´s last blog ..time continuum =-.
What a blessing to have the technology to keep memories like this.
My prayers are with you.
Those jammies were my kids’ Christmas jammies, too. They were also our card.
Such a beautiful baby. My heart just breaks for you every day.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..KenSTUCKy =-.
What a gift that those videos were ok! I loved watching it. They way she looked at him was like she was looking at a rock star. It cracked me up how he was the boss of his cardboard and not exactly sharing, and she does what any smart woman would do, she pulls out an even bigger and better piece of cardboard! Who needed his little cardboard?! I love the drool coming off his chin too! Thanks for sharing. She had the most amazing personality. I just love her.
Hooray for hidden treasures! I think it’s another sign that Maddie’s with you everyday.
I love the video, especially how M was “yelling” back toward the end. So cute.
xoxo
How wonderful to find that camera and find it working. Keep hanging on Heather, we are still rooting for you and Mike. And loving that girl of yours!
.-= Ginger´s last blog ..Hannah the happy baby =-.
What an awesome gift to have remembered that card and found everything it intact. I love watching kiddos who can’t talk communicate. It’s awesome.
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Tomorrow is D-Day =-.
wow, what made you think of it? So happy for you. Can’t wait to see more.
.-= melissa´s last blog ..bostonmama79: @AMomTwoBoys How’s he feeling? such a cutie that little man. =-.
Heather, My heart also breaks for you. I think of you and Mike every day, and your sweet, sweet Maddie. I pray for you often too.
I was working yesterday and was trying to remember how I found your blog, but can’t remember. All I know is that your Maddie is truly one of a kind. This will sound very cheesy, but I was listening to the radio and the song ‘if i could turn back time’ came on…and i got thinking that if i could turn time back for anyone, who would it be. And you and mike were first on my list. No hesitation.
I am a ‘fixer’ by nature, and wish I could ‘fix’ you and your heart…and I don’t even know you. I haven’t commented much, as I don’t know what to say…that’s pretty evident in my rambling, i’m sure.
Please just know that there is a girl all the way up in ontario canada, who is thinking of you, Mike, and your sweet Maddie every day, and is praying so much for you.
ps–what an awesome video!! So happy that it works!!
xoxoxo
Angie
What a great find! All those memories you may have forgotten. I’m sure that’s about as good as it can get to find these new photos and videos, besides the obvious thing of having her back in your arms.
My heart breaks for you daily. Continue writing and we’ll continue supporting you. Well, we’ll support you no matter what. I’m proud of you for sharing such a traumatic time with all of us. Maddy will always be in our hearts.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..The Beginning of the End =-.
OMG–I’m so glad those vids survived the dunk in the fountain! How great to have them!!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Random! =-.
Thank goodness the card still worked. Videos and photos are such a blessing. Thinking of you and Mike, today and always. All my love
I am so beyond excited for you that you have found more precious videos of your special little girl. I think of you so often Heather. Purple has a whole new meaning to me now. I wear it to honor you, Mike & Maddie.
Lots of love to you xoxo
.-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday-The Summer sunset edition =-.
That is a very cute video. I am so glad that you have come across more videos of Maddie. I know it won’t be easy watching them but what a blessing it is that were not lost.
.-= Debby´s last blog ..KARMA? =-.
I literally gasped out loud when you said the memory card worked!! Oh, I’m so happy for you to have found the card and to have all these new, special videos to watch!!!!
I love that you were able to get those videos back. What an amazing gift. And the one of Maddie & her cousin is fantastic. Love the shrieking over a piece of cardboard.
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..are they at least ill-tempered sea bass? =-.
What a gift, to find all those videos. You must be having a great time watching them.
Faith….hope….love….peace.
.-= mythoughtsonthat´s last blog ..He Lives The Good Life =-.
So fun! So glad you found your treasures. I love that Maddie is absolutely oblivious to her cousins vehement NOOOO!, and content to sit in his space with him. It almost sounded like she was saying yes to him. Very adorable.
I hope you enjoy your new find!
Blessings to you and Mike! xxoo
.-= Dina´s last blog ..Beautiful. =-.
Maddie keeps on sending you these surprise findings in your life. I love how she has spaced them out, so you can savor them.
You can see how she is watching over you, right????
She is so wonderful, I just want to pick up her tiny little body right out of that video clip, and just hold her…
I have been reading for awhile, but have never commented. I never know what to say, and I never want to say the wrong thing. More often than not, words fail me.
But for some reason today I just want you to know that I am out here lurking, and read you everyday and wipe tears from my eyes as I watch these videos, read these stories, and click through pictures.
Your family has touched my heart in a way I cannot put into words. I cannot begin to express to you how much Maddie, Mike and you mean to me. SIlly I know, coming from a complete internet stranger that you don’t even know exists, but I am grieving with you for Maddie. My heart is heavy. I love and miss Maddie so much, and I hurt for you so much.
Thank you so much for sharing all you share.
Love,
Theresa
I am so glad that you found these, and that the camera gods were in your favor! They look so happy, and I do hope that her cousins remember her and these moments you all shared. Have a Happy 4th!
How awesome that you found/discovered the videos, AND that they actually loaded up after getting wet. Glad that you’ve got records of even more memories of Maddie.
SO sweet. And so happy you found these. Thinking of you.
What an amazing find. I hope these found videos and pictures bring you much joy.
I think of you and Mike daily- you’re both in my prayers.
Wow, what a nice surprise! Who would have thought that dropping your camera into a fountain would turn out so wonderfully?
Thanks for sharing that video. As always, I am struck by Maddie’s beauty.
.-= Apple Sauce´s last blog ..Therapist Mistake #1 =-.
Too cute! I’m so glad you have these videos & I’m sure Danny will be grateful for them, too.
80 videos?! Wow. So happy you found these!
This video with Danny is a classic.
Fantastic video. I love the angle too, almost like you’re capturing them in secret. it’s like a scene out of a great holiday feature film!
.-= Danny´s last blog ..Charlie & The Chairman of the Board =-.
I’m so glad you found more videos! I love Maddie’s little sideways smile.
Maddie always looks so bright eyed and happy. She is precious. I think about you and your family often.
…and now maddie hangs the moon for them…..
http://randommusingsfrommypov.com
.-= kay´s last blog .. =-.
Hurray for the found videos! Thanks again for sharing so much of her with us.
Christmas in July indeed! What a wonderful discovery! Thinking of you guys always!
.-= Ohmygoshi´s last blog ..5 things I could live without =-.
I am so glad that the memory card worked and you got all the videos. Thanks for sharing one wiht us.
That’s a treasure, dude. So glad you found ‘em.
.-= Becky´s last blog ..Aunt Becky’s Encased Meats Emporium =-.
They are so cute! LOL
Yay, what a find! I’m so happy the videos worked. So, so cute. Loved the water babies photos as well. Thinking of you all.
what an unbelievable treasure so glad the card held up Enjoy !
.-= habanerogal´s last blog ..Beaver-time in Utah =-.
What a treasure to have stumbled across. I’m so glad that you found the card and that it still worked. So happy you have those. *hug*
.-= Kellee´s last blog ..The Itsy Bitsy Spiders… =-.
Gotta love cardboard. No toy can compare.
I’m so glad that you found all those videos. I’ve been watching some this morning.
.-= Issa´s last blog ..Not complaining =-.
This is so great that 1) you remembered they were on your camera and 2) that they were salvageable! Awesome, awesome, awesome! I’m soo happy that you found these when you did. See, Maddie keeps telling you she is here and all around you
She is something else! Love her little calm spirit and love that she was trying to tickle him. She’s was just the sweetest thing.
Have fun watching all your new found movies!!
Love, Jenn in CA
Oh Heather, what an amazing thing that you found that card! I hope that really brightened your day to be able to see all of this lost media! What a precious girl, I can’t wait to see whatever you share with us!
How precious. I love seeing all of your pictures and videos. Thank you for sharing your and Maddies life with all of us, Heather.
Recently you posted that your friends had sent you pics of Maddie and you wished there were more… She granted your wish and then some with videos! AMAZING! What a blessing. I Started reading your blog about a month ago and have found myself truly touched by Maddie, I think of her when I see purple ( which is often coz its always been my fave color too and my kitchen is purple!) I think of her when I am woken up at night by my son – and how blessed I am to be woken up by him. I think of you and wish your heart would feel whole again. I recently had surgery and upon waking I immediately thought of her and had the songs from her tribute video stuck in my head for days . She is and was a special life and I am so proud of you for sharing her with the world . If eyes are the window to our soul , it’s obvious by her beautiful big “sun” eyes that her soul is bigger and more beautiful than the sun itself.
Thank you Heather for sharing. Please keep writing. I hope she visits your dreams soon, but those videos are pretty darn close to a dream-visit don’t you think?
Thank you Maddie for giving Mommy and Daddy the memory card – what a good share-er!
Maddie tickling Danny… so precious.
.-= Alison´s last blog ..In Honor of Finals Week… =-.
WAHAHA! I love that she held her own and just gave him a short little growl when he was telling her nooooooo!
This put a HUGE smile on my face this morning!
.-= Miss´s last blog ..The One With More Growing Up =-.
LOL. I love it. He is yelling at her and she is like “DUDE. Chill. It’s just some cardboard. Here, look, I found my own.”
What a cute little diplomat.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Fight Night =-.
Several months after my Brenna died I discovered pictures on my cell phone. I was so happy to have them. I look at them all the time. It was a fantastic suprise. (((hugs)))
.-= Holli´s last blog ..WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT =-.
what a gift those videos are to you .. wow ..
Maddie has got to be the most gorgeous baby I’ve ever laid eyes on. And looks like she was totally holding her own in that ‘conversation’ with Danny. Precious videos to be sure.
Just coming back to say again how awesome it is that you retrieved these videos. I thought about that today more than once. … Thinking of you guys. (((Hugs))).
What a great find. A little more of Maddie. She is so sweet.
What an incredible treasure. She is absolutely precious. Hugs.
.-= Noelle´s last blog ..It’s here! =-.
I am so happy for you that you got the videos. I hope that you will share me. God bless you!!!!!
Wow. So happy for you that you found those. I can’t wait to see all of them!
I love seeing Maddie photos and videos. I feel like I knew her. Safeguard them and make a few copies. I know you can’t believe it right now, but you WILL heal! Maddie will always be in your heart and the day will come (eventually) when you can lift your head off the pillow and go on. And not hurt so badly you can’t breathe.
This is tooo cute- I thought the ending was going to be Maddie letting him have it at the end right over the head, but she was to much of a lady for that!! Miss you Maddie!
Oh Heather….what an awesome treasure you found!!!
I loved watching and can’t wait to see the others~~
God Bless You and Mike.
Love and hugs,
Michelle – Herculaneum
It might be that they both remember her. She was a very special girl.
Thank you for the huge smile this morning!
Thinking of you and looking forward to seeing more of your family memories of Maddie.
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..Diagnosis (Part Nine-Hundred and Twelve) =-.
What a treasure!
I’m SO glad you remembered that camera was still lying around and so glad the memory card had not been damaged. What an unbelievable treasure and gift to have those. So very special.
Heather, I’m so happy that you remembered that camera and found so my treasured videos of beautiful Maddie. Soooo happy for you! Sending you a big hug! Thanks for sharing!
What a wonderful surprise that must have been. I’m glad you found those lost videos.
I love that language that kids talk to each other in. I always wonder what they are really saying to each other.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Postpartum: When to Call the Doctor =-.
Heather! I love that you found those! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
.-= Nanette´s last blog ..Phonin’ this one in =-.
Maddie lead you to these when she felt you needed them most
Take care
Oh Heather, I’m so happy for you!
Yay! I’m so glad you have those. WHOO HOO!
.-= Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba)´s last blog ..First date… =-.
I too am glad your card still worked. What a very happy moment that was for you. Just keep sharing Maddie with Danny, and he will always remember. Thank you for always sharing with all of us. Sending lots of hugs with love to you and your family.
Oh, sweet Heather! What a wonderful treasure you have found. I know it is nothing like the treasure you have lost. I have read your blog for some time now but have never commented before, but said many, many prayers for you and Mike and all who knew and loved Maddie. I am one who loves her while never having the privilege of knowing her. I had a stillborn baby girl a number of years ago and well remember the path of pain that loss led me down. There are days I come to your site and the photo of Maddie you have shared with us takes my breath away with her beauty, and I wonder how I can miss someone I never got to meet? How can such a tiny, exquisite little thing touch so many, many lives? I know you are both blessed and broken. My love to you and yours.
Heather
Someone wanted you to have all those videos. i am so happy that the memory card worked for you. I look forward to watching many more videos. I think of you everyday and read your blog everyday. Sometimes I look twice a day to see if you have written. Keep writing> hugs for you and your family
Love you
Jenelle
AHHH she is so freaking cute….and what great memories her cousin will love watching all those videos one day! Thinking of you on this holiday weekend! xoxo
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Moving On Up… =-.
What a treat, that you were able to find that memory card and that it worked for you and you have all those videos. This one is adorable, I love how Maddie looks when she realizes she has her own piece… such happiness!
.-= Ari´s last blog ..Happy day! =-.
God Bless you, Heather. I look at your videos and tears stream down my face. I wish I had known Maddie. She seems like such a wonderful and special little girl.
I am so glad that you found the videos.
Oh I am so psyched you found those videos! Loved their “sharing.” I thought he was going to bop her over the head with that cardboard!
xo from CT,
Amanda
I can’t imagine how hard it was to see those videos for the first time without Maddie but what a treasure they will be. I am so glad you keep writing and keep telling us about Maddie. I love to learn about her!
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Road Trip to Crofton =-.
I am sooo happy for you that these special memories were not lost! I LOVE Maddie’s reaction to her big cuz! She had a look to me that said, “Seriously?! I may be younger but I’m sooo not afraid of you!”
Precious!
I could watch all 80 something videos. Maddie is absolutely the most beautiful child… What a blessing to have found those.
Heather,
Thank you for sharing this video. I am struggling through the one year mark of my sons death and just hearing Maddie’s shrieks and special little language? Sincerely makes me smile and makes my day. I hope you and Mike and Rigby have a good weekend!
.-= Kristy´s last blog ..He shared his name…. =-.
I am so glad you found that memory card. I believe this is Maddie helping you find a little bit of peace. God bless you and your husband and all the people who loved this precious child.
Maybe your sweet girl was whispering in your ear to help you remember… I’m SO glad the memory card still worked. What a gift.
How wonderful to have found the memory card and a million more memories
)
My brother died at age nine of leukemia; our cousin who is close to his age always felt a closeness to him, despite only once a year across country visits… My point to this is that even as a grown woman now she still feels connected to him and has had beautiful events in her life when she believes my sweet brother has been with her. It fills my heart with such warmness and joy to be reminded of the love others had for him and reminds me that his loss wasn’t mine alone.
Maddie will continue to live on with her special cousin…
What a great video! I couldn’t quit laughing at how he seemed so upset that she might take his cardboard, even though he was bigger than her.
And what a special surprise to find those new videos. Thank goodness the camera dried out.
Love ya, lady.
.-= Christina´s last blog ..Haiku Friday: Red, White and Boom! =-.
What a wonderful gift! xoxo
I’ve been watching your site for months now, but I have never left a comment before. Coming from a complete stranger, I felt my words would fall short.
Today I felt compelled to leave a message after all my months of lurk-dom. Today’s video of Maddie was particularly beautiful, and I just felt the need to tell you how beautiful Maddie is. Her beauty shines on the outside as well as on the inside. She is compassionate beyond her years and truly one of a kind. I’ve never seen a little girl so giving and kind towards everyone she meets. She truly is the happiest little girl I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Thank you so much for sharing her with us.
Incredible that you found these……I think about you all everyday and was just wondering the other night if Maddie has visited you in your dreams. As a commented above noted, I think this is pretty close. I cried and laughed through this and the other videos on your flicker, how wonderful to find these. Lots of love to you and your family.
Oh, this is a great find; amazing how your mind brought it back into focus—80 videos, what a gifted discovery. This video is so darling and as others have said, her lovely spirit shines through.
warmth and support to you and Mike—Maddie is so very special.
.-= jana´s last blog ..Graceful freedom =-.
Thank you so much for sharing Maddie with all of us again. What a treasure!
My 3 year old son saw me watching the video and he stopped his playing to watch along with me. When it ended he requested we play it again. He said, “That is a really funny girl baby. Let’s play them, Mommy.”
Thanks for bringing something new to so many people, you’ll never even know. That little girl of yours is truly something special.
I know it doesn’t make up for the real thing, but what a gift to be able to see her again in a video that had been forgotten. I’m sure it’s very bittersweet. Thinking of you and Mike and Rigby all the time. Hang in there.
I am so glad you were able to salvage the videos and memory card. What a great treasure to find!!
.-= JAR´s last blog ..Less to Love But More to Live =-.
Just echoing the 100s of others so excited the videos worked . Maddie looked fascinated by her cousin screaming ” no” and then she tastes it , hmmm not bad!He’ll love that when he’s older.
Oh my gosh how cute are they!?! Just look at those little bodies in their little pjs…so cute!
I see videos of your daughter and have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she’s not here. I can’t pretend to imagine what you are going through, bu tplease know she is thought of by so many, myself included, every day.
I have watched this video over and over; her little face is so precious. You can see the wonderment in her eyes as she looks up at her cousin.
Many happy thoughts to you and your family on this Independence Day.
Wow… what a great surprise. So glad you were able to watch all the videos!
hugs
.-= Leita Reyna´s last blog ..Muddy Muddiness! =-.
Wonderful video, as always. In every purple firework tonight, I thought of Maddie.
How precious!!!! She reminds me of my Kyboo so little and ready to smile. I thought of beautiful Maddie tonight when we watched the fireworks. Much love to you and Mike… ((hugs))
.-= Jodee´s last blog ..Happy 4th of July =-.
She is just so truly beautiful. I think you you and your little girl all the time. Im not sure if you have read Wordsworths ‘We are seven’.. its so touching. Your little one will always be with you, always be one of you.
Grief is aweful, it eats away at you, and the loss is so enormous its like screaming into a void. I lost my parents young, but what you are going through is tenfold. I ache for you, knowing that your pain must be so great. Im so glad you are writing, it does help to get out your pain.
Maddie is such a Faerie child, pretty and charismatic! She will always be your Baby Girl.
.-= Lisselle´s last blog ..Animals =-.
Ok. This may sound like I am truly the biggest bone head i n the world (which is debatable) but when I see Maddie’s face, I wish with all my heart that I could have held her. I get tears because I never met her. I get a sinking feeling because I never will. I know. I probably just freaked you out and I can almost hear you whisper (what a stalker) however, I had to say it.
And then I start to wish that I met you and Mike. Just to give you a hug or talk. Because grief doesn’t scare me. My friend lost her daughter and I lost my father in law so I have seen different spectrums of grief. I just want to hold your hand and listen. Ok. Total stalker….just say it already.
The problem is that you live in beautiful California and I live in the land of pigs, cows and the smell of poop, Sioux Falls, SD and I know we will never meet. I don’t think I just convinced you to come to South Dakota for a visit, did I????? We do have Mt. Rushmore. And usually cows and pigs are no where near so they are not there to poop all over the place.
I should just shut up now.
.-= Krissy´s last blog ..I want to be just like my daughter when I grow up. =-.
I read your other posts, Heather, and know how hard it is to share. I, too, lost a baby, a little boy. Anger, envy, unbearable sadness are all emotions I also felt. So is wanting to be alone, letting the world and the days pass in a secure womb of oblivian. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing. I could say it gets better, but that doesn’t help, because better is not always good. It’s not what you had. Someday, you will find your way through this, but for now, it’s there and it’s all too very real. Do you find yourself hugging your body with both arms, hugging your lonely self, maybe as a substitute for the emptiness of hugging Maddie? It’s what I did for months. I know you’ll get through this, and thankfully, you have videos and lots of pictures. Sometimes that makes it easier, sometimes harder. Sometimes, you just think ‘who gives a damn.’ Because sometimes nothing matters. I don’t know you but I know that the world lost a beautiful little girl, and her mom’s world lost its beauty, as well. There’s still beauty there, for now, the ugliness and unfairness of life has covered it up. Right now, time is your greatest enemy. Other the years, it will become your friend, carrying you from where you are to some unknown place where life can continue on. Hang onto that and know that a lot of people care, even if they don’t really know you or what you are experiencing.
.-= PattiMcKenna´s last blog ..My Bully and Me =-.
Having lost my Dad earlier this year and struggling through the grief of his very unexpected loss I know what a treasure it is to find those videos. I’m so glad, sometimes these little finds are exactly what you need to help push you through to another day.
She looks like Cindy-Loo-Who! That curl!
So glad you found these.
(Also so glad to see other people’s kids fighting over garbage! It’s not just mine!)
.-= Gillian´s last blog ..Summer 2009 =-.
Heather, some great videos! What a gift. I would say that was a late birthday present. I just caught up on my reading of your blog and wanted to tell you I have felt the same way about people who have living parents. Something that really pi$$$$ me off is when people complain about their mother! I miss my momma more than anything. i am so proud of you for getting the assistance of doctors. I know after my mom and little brother died I couldn’t have survived without help! And I do not want to be negative because you inspire me…I want to be supportive…so I agree with you, don’t ever tell anyone you don’t have any children. You tell them you have a beautiful little girl who is now one of God’s angels and then you tell them a great story about her! You do wonders on here! I am sure you could do wonders in person! Take care and my heart goes out to you!
What a beautiful little princess….prayers and good thoughts to you all.
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Independence Day!!!* =-.
So happy that when you needed to be lifted up…these came to you. Thank you for sharing more Maddie with us. The digital age is a blessing. Hugs.
What a wonderful memory to have. *hugs*
Kristen
I totally need to start a Cardboard Toy business. I’d be a kajillionaire.
I’m so glad to hear you found these vids and pics. It’s the day-to-day activities that will stay in your memory.
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..Happy 5th Birthday, Anna! *said from my fetal position =-.
Unflappable, game and content— incredibkle traits in an adult, let alone a sweet baby girl. Aw, Maddie.
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..On second thought =-.
Thank you so much for your generous spirit that allows us complete strangers to participate in your beautiful daughter’s life. I am in love with her, I just found your site through another blogger two days ago without realizing your recent tragedy.
I think her cousins will remember her and the memories you share with them will help them honor her. My brother died at the age of 11 over 38 years ago. My daughter and my sister’s kids all talk about Uncle Jimmy as if they knew him because all of us who loved Jimmy continued to share him with others, much the same as you are doing here on your blog.
Take good care dear Heather. Maddie is so lovely.
I think Maddie in her Cherub wings came down to visit you and put this idea in your head…..that you remembered the camera! She is definitely communicating with you two. I fully believe in that.
The day after we buried my father, 4 years ago, I went back to work. It was not easy. When I and my 4 siblings were little kids, dad used to draw characters on our lunch bags – especially the characters from the comics. So, I came out to get in my car and go home after my first full day back to work after dad’s death, and I just happened to look up in the sky………the clouds had formed a sort of “dog head” shape – almost like the comic Marmaduke! I smiled and felt some small joy in my heart, like dad was drawing funny pictures in the sky for God.
Maddie too is visiting you, communicating with you two. I just know she is.
Videos are memories that last forever aren’t they. Make sure you make a Dvd of them with several copies.
.-= Nightowlmama´s last blog ..It’s Not Too Late Send A Free E-Card Today =-.
How very special! What a beautiful gift! God Bless.
Courtney in New York
.-= Courtney´s last blog ..This Rain is CRAP! =-.
I am SO glad the video’s werent lost. I do think it’s adorable how cardboard is more interesting than toys.
What a beautiful, bittersweet surprise. I love seeing and hearing Maddie. I am so happy for you that you found these.
from God’s hand straight to your hard drive. Funny how He has traveled along now blessing us technologically. make no mistake that this was not intentional- it was truly a gift from Maddie & God just letting you know she’s with you still. I hope i don’t sound certifiably sappy but i truly believe.
HUGS to you!
What a pleasant surprise that must have been for you to find.
.-= Lady Lemon´s last blog ..Return to the Motherland =-.
I love that she is like, “Simmer down, Dude. It’s just cardboard”. What awesome memories you’ll be able to share. So glad you could recover your memory stick.
Claire
.-= Claire´s last blog ..Moms Eat Free =-.
how wonderful you were able to recover those pictures and videos!!! she’s just precious.
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..The Skip*Hop Diaper Bag =-.
What an amazing treasure! So wonderful and the video is hilarious. What a sweetheart.
(((HUGS)))
Connie
.-= Connie´s last blog ..Questions about the Cash for Clunkers Program? Online Calculator Clears Them Up =-.
Absolutely darling.
xoxo