Comments on: Little Words

By: Cristen

Cristen — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 02:23:21 +0000

I always say that my son lived for 9 hours. Or say he lived for an incredible 9 hours. And it was the best 9 hours of my life. I prefer “died” to passed on, although I usually say “you have a brother in heaven” because it’s more direct and clear and there’s no misunderstanding with my little kids about what happened.

Many hugs to you and Mike. It WILL get better. You will remember the joys without the pain as time goes on.

By: Kelly Jo aka GotGRITS

Kelly Jo aka GotGRITS — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 04:14:36 +0000

I started following your site when a prayer request was sent out while Maddie was in the hospital. I know words can never heal or lessen your pain, but talking about these precious moments, videos and photos keeps her alive and with these she touches more lives. I also do not like the D word, must be inherited. My grandmother would always speak of when my Grandpa “went away”. Of course, to some not knowing, would have assumed my Grandpa had gone on a trip and not returned. I guess in some instance, this is how my Grandma got through the time without him. Knowing that he had gone ahead to wait on her and make a home–like he did when they were first married and she went to join him at his Army base. I am a Native American and the Cherokee have a saying that pretty much describes how Maddie lived her short life “When you were born you cried and the world rejoiced, live your life so that when you die you rejoice and the world cries.” Such great accomplishments in a short time, and so many lives she touched –and continues to touch. An angel on Earth and in Heaven.

God bless you!!!

By: Dawn

Dawn — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:19:22 +0000

I agree that you did not do a dis-service to your family. I have an angel, who would have been 12 this past April. I know my family thinks of her as well and sometimes we talk about her and sometimes we just look at each other and know. There is no need to apologize as everyone should understand. You are in my heart and prayers always.

By: Jaclyn

Jaclyn — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 15:32:53 +0000

Hi, I am an angel mommy also. I lost my son Hayden a little over two years ago. He was 14 months old and is missed everyday. I was reading your blog and I can totally relate to this post. I hate the D word. I cringe everytime I hear exspecially when they are talking about my son. I have a hard time saying it and i also would rather it be called passed away. The D word just sounds so harsh and i have corrected people before about it.

By: Eunice Sarmet from Rio

Eunice Sarmet from Rio — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 03:04:53 +0000

Heather,
Just two quick thoughts to share…..When I experienced the death of a dear loved one, I gave myself permission to grieve. If a day (or two or three) came when I could push the loss aside and laugh, live, and be carefree, I relished it. But, when the days came that were dark and sad, I also allowed myself to sink in for a day or two……to wallow in my grief, allowing myself to cry, kick, scream, or do whatever it was that would make me feel better. It’s now 35 years later and though I still have occassional down days, none are as severe as those first few years.

By: Denise in Texas

Denise in Texas — Sat, 30 May 2009 18:14:04 +0000

I, too, prefer ‘passed away’, but find ‘passed on’ so much better. Passed on to a better, brighter, healthier, life in heaven. For me, it’s so much better to talk, talk, talk about the absent person, so feel free to. We out here in cyberspace are hurting right along with you, so just go ahead and tell us all about your sweet Madeline. She will ALWAYS exist in our hearts, as well as yours. We’ll never tire of hearing about Madeline, so talk to us and your friends and family about her and keep her memory alive.

By: Dane

Dane — Fri, 29 May 2009 15:42:34 +0000

What a GREAT post! You should be so PROUD of you for being able to express how you are feeling with likes and dislikes. You cannot but feel good/better when you talk about your loved ones-and with Maddie’s smile and dancing eyes-the conversation is endless.

By: MommyNamedApril

MommyNamedApril — Thu, 28 May 2009 22:12:12 +0000

I hate that 'd' word too. Awful stuff. MommyNamedApril’s last blog post..How Do I Love My Gramma's House? Let Me Count The Ways...

By: Alexicographer

Alexicographer — Thu, 28 May 2009 21:46:36 +0000

I went to a memorial service recently for a woman in my church, someone who had worshiped there since before I was born, someone my parents’ generation who was in her 70s when she died. She had two sons, one born to her and her husband, the other adopted by them, about my age (the adopted one a couple of years younger than the other). What I didn’t know until this service was that she also had a daughter, a little girl who lived for about 6 months, a little girl who was (I gather from the comments at the service), first “healthy” and then “sick” and who then passed away. A little girl the age of my own brother. A little girl whose mother (I learned) was helped by my own mother in finding a carrier, long before the days of Maya wraps and Ergos and Bjorns, so that she could keep her sick daughter close to her.

I didn’t know the family well, though I’d known them a long time. I was astonished, and saddened, though to learn there was a family member … well, I must have known her, I’d have been about 3 when she died … but one I didn’t know *of*, didn’t remember, had no idea that her mother had carried this grief of losing her daughter with her, her whole life. Yet, my ignorance notwithstanding, many, many people present at the service did know her, did remember her as they remembered her mother’s life, did talk of the joy she had brought to her mother during her far too short time on this earth.

I hope and trust the same will be true for Maddie throughout and, as in this case beyond, your lives. I know I think of her often, even though I never met her or her family.

By: Mrs. Flinger

Mrs. Flinger — Thu, 28 May 2009 18:23:01 +0000

I adore that my daughter recognizes and knows Maddie on my computer. She’s so cute with it, “That’s MADDIE! Mommy! There’s Maddie!” And she talks about her like she knows her because we’ve spent some time reading and watching videos of your family together.

I love LOVE that she knows Maddie even if they didn’t meet. Or haven’t met.

I’m not a huge fan of religion but I do believe that we touch each other and lift each other up and continue to do so for all of eternity. Maddie is such an awesome example of that. So yes, I’ll talk with about her with you. And my own family. And our friends. Because she’s loved. Always.