One of the reasons we moved to our new town in the suburbs was to be closer to family. Mine, his, ours.

My parents help us out a lot, and we are so thankful. I like to think they get a little something out of it too – namely time with their best girls (and Mike, too).

We are all finally recovered from our illnesses, it took me a while to get my energy back. By the end of last week, Annie needed to burn some energy and I needed to get out of the house. We went to the park, and thank goodness my parents came along. I could not have kept up with this girl by myself.

It appeared to be the perfect time for the park, it was quiet and almost empty. Annie had full reign of the place and she! wanted! to! slide! I knew it wouldn’t end well…

(her only possible injury was to her pride – I couldn’t stop giggling.)

There was a bench in the middle of the play area, so I parked myself there while my parents chased Annie from activity to activity.

She kept talking about the “grumpy troll” until I finally realized she was referring to the bridge in the park (it’s a Dora the Explorer thing…sigh).

I need to somehow build a bridge in my house because she walked back and forth, back and forth, and would still be walking back and forth on it if my dad hadn’t distracted her with a pretend picnic.

When eating pretend food proved tiring, she got a lift back to the car.

For the rest of the day and for much of the next, she couldn’t stop talking about “the park with Bampa.” When I am missing my old city neighborhood, I just have to remind myself…”the park with Bampa.” THAT is why we moved.

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Yesterday we flew up to Northern California to spend Thanksgiving at Mike’s parents’ house. Mike’s sister Monica and her family drove up from LA a few days ago. We’d been prepping Annie for the trip for a week. We’d say, “We’re going to go on an airplane! In the sky! And when we land we’re going to see your cousins!” Annie would always say, “Cousins! Airplane! Oh boy!” We woke Annie up before the sunrise and headed to the airport. She was tired and had no interest in walking, so Mike and I took turns carrying her through the airport. When we got to our seats she finally perked up. “Airplane! OH BOY!” I had a bag of toys ready to go, but at first all Annie wanted to do was sit there excitedly.
“Annie on airplane! Oh boy!”

We took off and Annie hollered, “ANNIE FLYING!” She started clapping and everyone around us laughed. The flight was only 55 minutes, but I wasn’t going to let her get bored and antsy. I started her off with a brand new Dora the Explorer coloring book.

I want to kiss whoever invented the markers that only color the paper. That person is a damn genius. I have never felt so relaxed while Annie colored. When she tired of that, I pulled out her two current favorite dollies, Lola and Lolita (yes, those are her dolls’ names, Lolita has no clothes!), and we took turns making them dance.

Although…Mike had more fun cuddling Lola.

As the plane started its descent I gave her some Hawaiian Sweet Bread and she yelled, “Oh boy, FOOD!” like she’d never eaten before. Then, something fired in her brain and she shouted, “Turkey says ‘gobble, gobble!’” I think the pressure in her ears lead to her volume issues, but she only shouted a few times and everything she said made the people around us laugh. Nonetheless, I still apologized to everyone while simultaneously shushing Annie. After we landed I asked Annie her thoughts:

I was so pleased with how well she did on the plane. It had been a while since she’d flown and all the factors were in place for a disastrous flight. But she was perfect and charming. She definitely earned her baggage claim dance party:

Now we’re at Grandma and Grandpa’s, and the love fest is just beginning.

“Annie, Kayla, hug, looooooove.”

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My sweet niece Michaela turned two on Saturday, so off we went to her house to celebrate.

Michaela was dressed for the occasion:

The chicest rock star fairy around

It turns out Michaela had received some dress up clothes for her birthday. Annie was intrigued.

Your crazy outfit looks like fun! I want one!

Annie’s first outfit was a princess cheerleader ensemble that is sure to be on the runways next season:

The outfits were perfect for coloring and reading.

Eventually Annie grew tired of her princess cheerleader outfit, and put on a baby fembot slip. Michaela applauded her choice.

Oh Annabel, the feathers on that slip really complement your bone structure.

Things took a turn when they tried to bring inanimate objects to life:

Michaela, I totally saw this on an episode of Abby’s Flying Fairy School! We can make this baby dance!

Luckily cake proved to be a good distraction.

What is going ooooonnnnnnnn?!?!”

I’m supposed to blow this out WITHOUT spitting on it? Ohhhhh Kaaaaaay…

Annie hasn’t stopped talking about her cousin “Mahglagla” since we left. Best buddies!

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Last Sunday Mike, Annie and I spent the night at Mike’s sister’s house. His sister and brother in law were having a much-deserved overnight away, so we minded our nephews and niece.

When we arrived, my nephews Spencer (six and a half years old) and Danny (four) were jumping up and down with excitement. Mike and I were basically rock stars. We did everything we could to keep them thinking we were – we ran around in the back yard, drank tons of juice together, ordered pizza, and bought the COOLEST! MOVIE! EVER! on pay per view (Yogi Bear is the bees knees, according to the boys).

We did all this in an hour.

Meanwhile, Annie and Michaela (21 months) were into evvvvvvverything. If Michaela knew a non-baby-proofed section of the house, she led Annabel to it. If Annie knew a new and exciting way to make noise (and believe me, she always has a new and exciting way to make noise), she showed it to Michaela. At first I was like, “OMG, they are playing together it is soooooo cute!” Cut to me an hour later and I was hissing at Mike, “WE HAVE TO SEPARATE THEM!”

All the kids play together really well. The boys are very patient with the girls and don’t mind sharing or being around them. I know this won’t last for much longer…not because the boys will get older, but because the girls will get really annoying. I mean, the high pitched shrieks! I was not aware those started before the age of two.

While I dealt with the girls (and my eardrums waved a white flag), Mike had to help Danny in the bathroom. Mike was unaware that children can still require assistance in the bathroom. When I told him that they aren’t always coordinated enough to wipe themselves, I thought he would pass out. “Well,” he said, “Danny will just not poop when we’re there.”

He pooped twice.

We also got a taste of what it would be like to have twins when Annie and Michaela both had bedtime meltdowns. Just as one would calm down, she’d see the other freaking out and start back up again. I contemplated giving both of them xanax.

Mike and I were exhausted by the time the kids all went to sleep. We were only one sixth of the way toward having a Duggar-sized group and we were toast by 9pm. How do you people with litters of kids do it?

© COPYRIGHT HEATHER SPOHR 2011 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author.

Yesterday my nephew graduated from kindergarten.

I remember the day I graduated from kindergarten. Each breath was heavy with excitement. My parents’ pride was thick in the air. I felt accomplished.

Oh wait. I didn’t. Because there wasn’t kindergarten graduation. On the last day of school I’m pretty sure my teacher just pushed us out the door, then had a solo dance party celebrating summer.

I’m gonna be unpopular: I think graduations from things like preschool and kindergarten are foolish.

I love celebrations. Yesterday I wrote a whole missive about my thirty second birthday which is pretty freaking insignificant. But you know what? I’ve earned 32. What kid has earned five? I’ve started to feel like this generation of kids is too often spoiled and coddled.

Don’t get me wrong – a baby kid in a cap and gown is freaking adorable. Just look at my little beauty of a nephew:

But if there is a graduation ceremony after kindergarten, why not after every grade? I didn’t have any sort of ceremony until I went from middle school to high school, and then it was called “Promotion,” not graduation. When I did graduate, it was from high school after thirteen years of education (counting, of course, kindergarten).

Mike has always been the cynical one who believes that children should have realistic expectations. I’ve told him he’s a jerk, a downer, a total buzz kill. Who wants to hear that only .0001% of kids make it in the NBA? Certainly not a 12 year old kid whose life revolves around neighborhood basketball.

Yet, lately, as my nephews and friends’ kids have aged, I’ve developed a bad taste in my mouth toward the constant ego-boosting. Both of my nephews got trophies for Little League this year. That’s fine, because they are little (four and six), but I’ve heard that in many Little Leagues today, every kid at every level gets a trophy. What the what?  I feel like a total ass saying this, but IN MY DAY we walked uphill to get trophies, and only the top three teams got them, and you had to skin a hippopotamus to get a trophy that was more than two inches tall.

What has happened to me? Have I become a curmudgeon? Or am I not alone in worrying that we’re doing our kids a disservice for celebrating every little thing they do? Are we ruining our kids?

© COPYRIGHT HEATHER SPOHR 2011 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, which meant I got to go to bed early and sleep in late. It was lovely. Mike brought Annabel into bed to wake me up with head butts and slobbery kisses. I held her tight, and gave her two kisses.

We had brunch with Mike’s parents in Half Moon Bay, and on the way home I made Mike stop at a scenic overlook so I could take pictures. Since it was Mother’s Day, he couldn’t sigh or roll his eyes like he normally does when I force him to go off-course for photography (it helped that he could listen to the Giants Baseball game on the radio while I hiked through nature).

When we returned to his parents’ house, I had Mike take lots of photos of me with my littlest girl.

Mike’s parents were still in Half Moon Bay, so we decided to change into comfy clothes and snuggle up on the couch. What we didn’t know was there was a police officer walking around his parents’ yard, because we’d set off an alarm in the house when we returned. The bedroom we stay in has doors out onto the backyard…and the shades were open, because who doesn’t enjoy natural light? So just as I pulled my dress over my head and unhooked my bra, I looked up to see that police officer staring in at us through the glass door to our room.

It is amazing I didn’t scream from fear. It’s amazing the Officer didn’t scream at my nakedness.

While Mike proved to the officer we weren’t burglars, I grabbed one of my mother in law’s decorative pillows to cover myself. This pillow, in fact. It was woefully inadequate. I don’t know why I didn’t just pick up my dress off the floor, or a blanket, or anything. Clearly I am not good in a naked emergency.

After I kissed my baby goodnight, I spent the rest of my evening thinking about my older girl. Missing her, imagining her with me. What she would have done today – would she have walked around the scenic overlook with me? Played in the grass with me and her sister? Laughed at crazy naked Mommy? How many kisses and hugs would she have given me? How many times would she have said, “I love you mommy?”

Mother’s Day will always be bittersweet.

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My niece Michaela is four months older than Annabel. With the influence of her older brothers, Michaela has been walking, playing, and running much longer than Annie. And even though they’ve spent tons of time with each other, they haven’t really related to each other much – they’d mostly played around each other, each vying for the older boys’ attention.

Yesterday, it was different. At my sister-in-law’s house, the boys went off together…and the girls went off together.

When the Easter egg hunt started in the backyard, Annie had no idea what to do. Luckily, Michaela did.

When Michaela realized Annie didn’t have any eggs, she started to share:

Once they were satisfied with their bounty, they went back into the house to count their treasures.

They love each other.

It’s so wonderful that they have this relationship. My cousin is like my sister. And since Annie’s sister won’t be a physical presence in her life, I’m so happy she has Michaela. I hope their relationship continues to grow.

© COPYRIGHT HEATHER SPOHR 2011 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author.

I walked down the stairs at my parents’ house and turned into the family room. My mom and her two sisters were there, trying on shoes. I grabbed some shoes and joined in.

My Aunt Terry and I started teasing my mom and Aunt Kathy about their wide feet. Terry and I can buy shoes without trying them on, but Kathy and my mom had to spend hours finding a comfortable pair.

Kathy said, “No, shoes fit me just fine now.” She and her sisters laughed.

I left the family room and walked down the hall, turning right into a bedroom. My grandma was there, sitting in her rocking chair, working on a quilt.

“What do you think?” She asked, holding it up for me. It was the Grandmother’s Fan pattern, like the one she’d made for me many years ago, but this one was all in shades of purple. “It’s beautiful Grammy,” I said, hugging her.

“The girls are waking up,” my grandma said. I looked over, and two little girls were stirring on the bed. One had brown curly hair, the other blond curls.

“Hi babies!” I said. “Hi mama!” said the blond one with blue-green eyes. “Mama!” said the one with blue-gray eyes and brown hair. I helped them each off the bed, and they walked off down the hall together holding hands, the blond one taller than her sister.

I opened my eyes in my own bed. I’d dreamed of them all.

I felt so alone.

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I get asked that question all the time. I do my best to answer, even though it would be like me asking you, “what’s it like to have a nose?” My brother Kyle is my only sibling, so I only know what it’s like to have a brother that’s the same age.

That being said, it’s cool. We are really close. Growing up, we were each other’s favorite playmate. It helped to have someone learning the same things in school. We understand each other on a level that no one else does. Which also means we can push each other’s buttons like no one else can (not even Mike). We used to have epic fights. Luckily, we forgave each other quickly.

Just like ANY siblings, though, we were very unique and had our own interests and talents. My parents were awesome because they encouraged our individuality. Even though we are boy/girl twins, everyone still bundles you into a set and expects you to act accordingly. Luckily for us, my parents never did.

Except they clearly couldn’t resist dressing us similarly sometimes.

Everyone always thinks twins are the coolest things, and I suppose we are. It’s just something I’ve never given much thought to because it’s just a part of who I am.

I’m sure my brother will think exactly the opposite about everything, because that’s how he rolls. We’ll see if he even comments.

Also, Kyle and I need a more recent picture together. Hmmm.

My friend Rebecca just found out a couple weeks ago that she’s expecting twins, and she was (understandably) stunned. I’m not going to lie, if I found out I was going to have twins I would not react well at first. Mostly because I’d be imagining this:

Two. Annies. Oh the humanity.

However, I didn’t mention that part to Bec when we filmed this Momversation about twins. I spoke about being a twin, while Jen Levinson spoke about being the parent to TWO sets of IDENTICAL twins. I can’t even comment on that, although my facial expressions when Jen talks pretty much give away what I was thinking (hint: terror).

So here is where I open it up to all of you. Do you have twins, and have advice for Rebecca? Are you a twin with advice (I’m looking at you, Alison & Amanda)? Or are you twin-curious and just have questions for me and my brother? All are welcome!

© COPYRIGHT HEATHER SPOHR 2011 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author.

I was one of the luckiest kids in the world. I not only grew up with both of my parents in the same house, but for my entire home life, my grandma lived at home with us, too. And I’m pretty sure my friends were jealous. Because my gramma? WAS AWESOME. Like, bananas dancing queen gramma. If there was a song about her it would go, “don’t you wish your gramma was AWESOME LIKE MINE!” NO exaggeration. I’m counting on my friends like Tara, etc, to leave comments confirming her awesomeness.

I make lots of jokes about how I don’t cook and blah blah blah. And like I’ve said many times, I don’t like to cook. Well, that’s not entirely true. I like to cook. I don’t like to shop, or clean up. It’s a pain! And I am lazy.

But you know what? I am actually really, really good at baking. Mike thought this was a lie, and then I made a cake for my coworker Dave’s (Rage) birthday. Everyone freaked out like, “oh, this cake is great, blah blah.” Then I entered a contest at work where I made a cake. It was angel food, shaped like a sand castle….and let’s just say that cake not only won the contest, but set the bar IMPOSSIBLY high for the rest of my life.

My Gramma was the MOST amazing cook. She and Mike never met, and it makes me sad, not only because they would have gotten along so amazingly, but because she would have received ENDLESS pleasure from feeding him. If you’re a cook, is there anything better than someone who will eat anything you make?

I’m good at baking because of my gram. Her desserts are legend. I’ve been pretty down and out lately, so I’ve made myself my gramma’s most famous dessert – her cereal cookie. I’ve decided to do something totally out of the norm for me, and share the recipe. I hope it makes all of you as happy as it makes me.

Gramma’s Cereal Cookies
1 cup shortening
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs
2 cups flour
1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
4 cups Special K Cereal, crushed (measure before crushing)

-Cream shortening and sugars, add eggs and beat until creamy. Add dry ingredients and cereal, mix well. Form into small balls and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes or until lightly browned.
-If dough seems too soft to handle, add more crushed cereal.

What do you think? Do you have a family recipe you want to share?

© COPYRIGHT HEATHER SPOHR 2011 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author.