One of the many, many perks of having Mike on vacation from work is that his car is available for me to use. It’s nice to be able to leave the house and zip around town in a car that isn’t overrun with kid gear and car seats. While he was home over winter break, I used his car at least half a dozen times. I even listened to non-Kidzbop music when I was driving! What a luxury.
On Monday, Mike decided to get some maintenance done on his car before he resumed his commute back to work. He said goodbye to the kids and me, but then spent the next few minutes walking around the house. I was distracted with the kids and didn’t think anything of it, but then he came up to me and said, “Where are my keys? You were the last one to drive my car.”
Ever since I set up our command center next to our front door, I’ve always hung up our car keys on the designated hooks. Occasionally I’ll put the keys in a pocket or in my purse when I’m carrying in groceries or the like, but otherwise I always hang up the keys as soon as I enter the house. So I sweetly said to Mike, “Um, on the key hook, duh.” “Yeah, that was obviously the first place I looked, and they aren’t there.”
Upon investigation (because of course I had to see it for myself with my all-powerful mom eyes), I saw he was right. “Well, I very clearly remember coming home and accidentally making your car honk when I locked it. Then when I unlocked the door I noticed that you have two keys that look identical and I thought that was weird. Then I hung up the keys. So. This is obviously not my fault.” Strangely, he didn’t see it that way, so I spent the next few minutes emptying my purse, going through jeans pockets, and digging through laundry. Nothing turned up the keys.
At this point, Mike was fairly annoyed because he had car maintenance blah blah blah to do and it was getting later in the day. “How am I supposed to get all of this gobbledygook done on my car if I can’t drive it anywhere?” (that’s how I remember it at least). So I said, “Hey, it’s cool, take a chill pill and use the spare key.” I always forget that telling someone to take a chill pill does not, in fact, make them chill.
So we’re going on like five days of not being able to find these dumb keys. Mike even offered Annabel $5 if she could find them, which I thought for sure would work because Annabel is suddenly able to do anything when money is involved, but no dice. I loudly proclaim my innocence every day but Annie and Mike disagree. Or at least they DID disagree, unnnnnntil… *Law & Order noise*
We got the kids a ride-on car for Christmas. James is absolutely obsessed with it.
It’s currently parked in our playroom, and James will sit in it all day. He’ll put stuffed animals in the passenger seat next to him and he’ll pretend to drive while he blasts the radio (yes, it has a radio. It was cute for the first two minutes.). Yesterday, I was sitting on the couch, working on my computer, when James came up to me and said, “Mama, I got the keys for my car.” I was like, “Oh, that’s nice,” in the distracted, not-paying-attention-way every parent has mastered. But then I heard a jingle, and I looked up to see he was standing there with my car keys. The same keys I’d hung up earlier on the hook that had previously been unreachable by James. Damn it if he doesn’t keep growing.
I suddenly realized that I was not responsible for Mike’s lost keys (not that I’d, um, ever doubted myself or thought I was losing my mind or anything). I said super-casually in a non-frightening tone, “JAMES DID YOU TAKE DADDY’S CAR KEYS WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM?!” And he was like, “Yeah! To drive my car!” And I said, “WHERE ARE THEY OMG WHERRRRRE?” And he said, “In my car!” So I looked and nope. They weren’t there.
I spent the next hour looking in all of James’ known hiding spots, with no success. Every time I’d say, “James, show me where you put the keys,” he’d take my hand and lead me…back to the command center. “Dere! On da hook!” GAAAH!
When Mike got home, I immediately said, “Hey James! Did you take Daddy’s keys?” And he replied, “Yeah! To drive my car!” and I was like, “SEE I DIDN’T DO IT! I! AM! VINDICATED!” Mike then spent the next hour on another James-led wild goose chase.
Unfortunately, we still don’t know where the keys are. But at least I’m not losing my mind, so I’m counting it as a win.
Becca says:
Cliffhanger! What ever will happen to the keys??
Becca says:
(oh, and by the way – your command center post totally inspired me to create my own “organization corner” in my kitchen last year. I’m not usually the one have a desire to organize the house, so my wife would like to thank you a million times over.)
Amber says:
Hopefully you don’t suddenly start having toilet problems. When my now eight year old was your James’s age, he flushed my HUGE set of keys down the toilet. I still have no idea how a set of keys that big fit in that toilet…no idea! Anyway, we were living in an apartment building at the time, so the toilets were less than perfect. The keys went missing for weeks, spent a ridiculous amount of money to replace them, and went nuts trying to think of where they disappeared to. That is when the toilet suddenly started acting up. Oh boy! I am talking about major problems…clogging, overflowing, strange noises. I finally got the nerve up to call maintenance,and after many attempts to fix the darn thing, they ended up having to remove the entire toilet. Found the keys!! You can only imagine the shape they were in after being down the toilet for three weeks. The plumber actually asked me if I wanted to keep them!! I hope you find yours….you know you will only find them when you least expect to, right? Good luck:)
Caroline says:
Maybe they are outside? James took a corner too hard and they fell out?
Rachael says:
OK, you probably have looked, but does the Jeep have any compartments he could have put them in? Glove box, trunk, etc.? Good hunting!
Judy Moticka says:
Brings back memories of when my older son was a toddler, he loved putting everything “away”. Except “away” to him meant in the garbage can. I learned the hard way. Car keys? Yup. Dirty clothes? Yup.
Megan says:
I initially thought this post would be about Britney Spears, then as soon as I saw the photo of the kids’ car, I knew what had happened to the keys. Now I really want to come to your house and find them! My mom would always say “it has to be around here somewhere!” Hopefully not in the plumbing…
I’m sure they’ll turn up, but probably after you’ve given up and gone to great efforts to replace all the keys. It also sounds like you need to move that hook up about three feet, so James won’t be able to reach your keys until he’s able to actually drive your car. On second thought, maybe just find a hiding spot for them and don’t ever tell him where it is.
RE says:
Random but check in the cracks of his bed between the mattress and boxspring or rails. I find such interesting stuff there when I clean up ‘under’ my daughters bed. I once found 3 (THREE) forks! She doesn’t even eat in her room so that was really weird. We also lost a set of keys once, that I swear she hid when she was 3 or 4. We found them in the pocket of a coat that hadn’t been worn in years, inside pocket in the farthest corner of the closet. It was beyond strange.
Melanie says:
This happened at my house once. I told my husband to check in one of the chairs the kids liked to play on. He told me they weren’t there. YEARS later, when moving that chair to a different room, I heard the jingle of the missing keys. We had to cut the bottom out of the chair to get them.
Melissa says:
Jump on Amazon and immediately order one of these, and you won’t have this problem again. My husband gave it to me for Xmas because I’m always losing my cell phone in the house, and it works for finding that, too.
https://www.amazon.com/Tile-Mate-Finder-Anything-Finder/dp/B01L3VEC08/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483637890&sr=8-1&keywords=tile+key+finder
Toni says:
That is genius!
Ashley says:
I second the Tile recommendation! I have two and keep one on my keychain and the other in my wallet.
RzDrms says:
Crazy question, I know, but I have to ask: does James realize what you mean when you ask “where did you PUT daddy’s keys?” Does he maybe think somehow you mean “where did you GET daddy’s keys?” Which is true: he GOT them from the hook. Did you ask him to show you where daddy’s keys are *right now?* And can you see them so you can look at the keys too? And, oooo, James, if you show me daddy’s keys *right now*, we can take your car outside and drive it with them! YAY! Just a thought.
Amber says:
Smart thinking. Its amazing how one little word can change the outcome. ?
Heather says:
Oh yeah, we’ve tried every combo of words.
Auntie_M says:
Totally a win…for both you and Mike! LOL Now, offer James ice cream and Annie 5 bucks and ice cream to find those suckers! (Oh…and better move that command center key station higher! LMAO!)
I would also head to Lowes or Home Depot and pick up some blank keys with cool pix on them and a key chain for James’ car! We had to do that with look-alike keys for all the nieces and nephews so the ONE antique key to our antique desk would stop mysteriously disappearing!
Steph says:
Sorry the keys are lost but glad you’re not going crazy. I remember when our daughter picked up a key that had just been placed on the table and put it in a little M&M’s candy holder. If I hadn’t seen her do it, we probably never would have found it. Good luck with your search!
Jenny says:
Total win! Vindication is yours!
Tania says:
You probably already looked but does the little buggy have a glove box or middle console?? Ohhh and shoes look in shoes…hope they are found soon!!!
Meg says:
Oh man, this is why we leave our keys in our cars (in our garage, not on the street.) I live in fear of them going missing, especially with a car that has a push button start, and so has just a tiny fob.
amourningmom says:
Hurray for the win!! I hope you find the keys!!
Kristen G says:
This happened at my house 8 years ago, when my son was 2. The keys ended up in my husband’s slipper, in the hallway closet. They had been missing for 6+ months! So, my advice is to look in all the shoes!
twingles says:
There have been two times in my life where I lost my keys. The first time, they were on top of the car. I had driven back and forth to a job interview on the Long Island Expressway, 25 miles each way, and all around town, and they never budged. So check the top of your car.
The other time, they never showed up ever again, and I am pretty sure my daughter threw them away. She was going through a “let’s throw things in the garbage” phase. I found her bathing suit and some random toys in the garbage, and I suspect the car keys made their way into the garbage as well.
Lisa says:
I soooo cannot wait for the follow up blog post when you find them!!!!