Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and think, “Holy cow! That is a great idea/hilarious joke/beautiful song that I just dreamed of!” This is something I do on a regular basis. I used to keep a pad of paper and a tape recorder next to my bed when I was in high school and college, and I really wish I still had the recordings and scribbles because, while a few of them WERE good ideas, the majority were as decipherable as Bela Karolyi after a fifth of vodka. Mumbled songs that sounded like an alien communicating, and hieroglyphics where my hilarious joke should have been.

I have a bunch of writing I need to do and I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with topics to cover. about 10 minutes ago, I had a flash of memory – a couple nights ago, I woke up throughout the night and typed a bunch of ideas onto my blackberry. For a minute I thought maybe I was remembering a dream, but after flipping through my blackberry I saw that I had, in fact, left myself some 2:37 am gems.

Reading through these makes me wonder not only what I was dreaming about throughout the night, but also how the hell I thought any of these things would be interesting, LET ALONE make sense.

dancing and high gas prices
Mike eats all the peanut butter
guns
arthritic diver’s sweatpants
Rigby has rabies
Mike script lobster

So, let’s see. “Dancing and high gas prices”…the only thing I can think is that maybe I will have to start exotic dancing to pay for gas. Over four bucks a gallon is killing me. “Mike eats all the peanut butter” baffles me since we don’t even have peanut butter in our house. “Guns” makes me laugh because seriously, what kind of mommy blog writes about guns? I have nothing to say about guns other than they’re shooty. And I am an excellent shot. So…I have two things to say about guns. But that’s it. “Arthritic diver’s sweatpants,” The only think I can think is that I was watching Olympic diving before I went to bed, and I have arthritis in my pointer fingers. (OLD.) “Rigby has rabies” doesn’t surprise me – have you seen the way she attacks Mordecai? “Mike script lobster”…I must have had an idea for Mike to write about. A really terrible idea.

So, Mike – you should totally write about a lobster that partners up with rabid Rigby, and together they stop people from eating all the peanut butter while simultaneously stitching sweatpants for divers with arthritis, and in their spare time they go out dancing at a new club called Overpriced Gas and wind down by going to a shooting range. Don’t you think that would be a million-dollar script?

No? Yeah, I don’t think so, either. These ideas don’t even make a good blog post. I am clearly going to have to do my brainstorming when I am slightly more awake. Although, I do think I’m going to resume keeping a voice recorder next to my bed to capture my sleepy ideas. I’m pretty sure I wrote the greatest song in the world the other night, but you’ll have to take my word for it.