Annabel has started really taking an interest in where things come from. She wants the complete origin history on just about everything. “Mommy, where is this shirt from? But where did the store get it? But where is the material from? But where is the thread from?” She really drills down.
The number one place she asks questions is the grocery store. She wants to know where everything is from. Where did that apple grow? Those strawberries are from what farm? Does macaroni grow on trees? (I wish.) How is cheese made? I don’t know the answers to half of her questions, but I write them all down so we can research them when we get home. It’s been good for us, though – I definitely am paying closer attention to all the food we’re buying, because I should know where it’s from.
Along with all the produce questions has come the realization that meat = animals. This has started to become a thing. She doesn’t want to eat them.
Conversation we had at a restaurant last weekend:
Me: Annie, do you want chicken or a burger?
Annie: Chicken. No, not chicken.
Me: Why not, you love chicken?
Annie: Chickens are animals! Why do people eat animals? I love animals! I want to save aaaallll the animals.
Me: ….um…
Annie: I’ll have a burger, please.
Then I had to explain what a burger is.
I don’t really know how to play this. Do I keep offering her meat? If she wants to be a vegetarian, that’s fine with me. She obviously doesn’t know what a vegetarian is, though, so that will require some book readin’. It doesn’t help that my three go-to meals all include meat. Figuring out what to feed an often-picky preschooler is a challenge that often drives me to the brink, so adding the extra meat-free angle is sure to be fun.
I am going to look for some balanced meal ideas that don’t include meat, and also find a kid’s book about being a vegetarian. I have a feeling her convictions will falter a bit when she’s offered something she really likes (bacon!). Wish me luck!
Susan says:
LOL….oh how we forget after our kids are older I remember the questions but not necessarily questioning meat. Interesting, who knows, this girl may know what she wants! I am not a vegetarian but eat very little meat…just not my thing but I do love me some bacon too once in awhile. Unfortunately the men in my house love meat =( And as much as we are animal lovers, and have saved a gazillion domestic pets, they didn’t question chicken, cows, pigs, etc… good luck on this….
Tracy says:
She might like that show “How it’s Made” if you can find it and DVR it. (It’s on at weird times). My kids looooooved it.
Maris says:
My husband LOVES this show
Meghan Moore (@newmoonsbride) says:
I love How It’s Made (Science channel). Another good show about where food comes from is Unwrapped on the food network. Watching Unwrapped is one of my favorite memories I have of my mother. We used to watch it all the time.
Jennifer says:
I’m not sure if your family is at all religious, but I’ve explained to my 5-year-old that God intended the animals for our use, and he put them on Earth so we might eat them. That works for a few minutes … then I tell her that the chicken she’s eating is the garden variety and it grows from the ground.
Of course she’s smarter than that and rolls her eyes at me.
jennifer snow says:
take extra firm tofu cut into cube. toss in corn starch mixed with seasoning of your choice of seasoning. shake off excess corn starch fry until golden. drain well on paper towels. Toss into any recipe like you would chicken. This is a staple in our house. We are half vegetarian half not. I have tons of recipes. This is my quick basic easy tip. oh use ground beef crumbles in anything calling for ground beef. its precooked though so you save steps. I make this into tacos enchiladas crock pot recipes. Also vegetarian bacon and sausages by morning star is really good. We use light life products for hot dogs and lunches. also amys vegetarian frozen dinners are really good for a quick go to. I keep those on hand for quick times.
Cynthia says:
Yes, those Morningstar sausage patties are awesome! Go figure, we don’t like regular sausage, but we can down a box of those in the blink of an eye!
Maris says:
I’ve been a vegetarian off and on since 3rd grade when my teacher (in a fancy catholic shool) told me that they ground up rats and put them in mcdonalds hamburgers (she also told me statues come alive at night…she was a real peach:). Even after I realized she had lied about the rats, being a HUGE animal lover made it hard to eat meat and still is to this day. I never learned how to make tofu yummy either so it’s a lot of vegetables for me. If you find good vegetarian recipes, post them
Anna says:
I was a vegetarian for about ten years growing up (7-17) and pretty much ate “the sides” most of the time. My mom would make vegetarian versions of whatever she was cooking (set aside tomato sauce before adding meat, set aside tomatoes and beans before the beef of she was making chili), she seldom would cook a special meal just for me (my dad and brother were número uno fans of meat), but it worked out well – my mom always made lots of delicious veggies and salad every night, so her not cooking a separate vegetarian meal wasn’t a big deal.
There was a cute This American Life a few weeks ago about a family with a young vegetarian that had a completely different approach (unlike me, the boy in the story really hated other people eating meat, too)
MG says:
I have one child that is TOTALLY icked out by the thought if meat. and u actually am too if I think about it too much. I know some would disagree with this but I just don’t talk about it much. I would be supportive if my kids chose to be vegetarian but at this point, feeding our family of 6 is challenging enough. I know a family that raises pigs at a a friends farm and they name it and if they’re eating a brat or bacon will totally be like “this is Wilbur” or whatever. My kids know but I don’t try to emphasize it much. Especially considering that same son will be appalled at a rotisserie chicken if you put a bone on his plate but happily chow down a chicken nugget if offered.
MG says:
U=I! Sorry if there are more typos, should have proof-read!
Laura says:
My (now 19-year-old) started asking the same questions at 4, and officially became a vegetarian at 9. Between the ages of 4-9, she just ate around the meat. We didn’t even notice until she told us “animals shouldn’t have to die so that we can eat.” She tried going vegan last year, but it was too hard, even for her. Our other three kids have never given vegetarianism a thought. When we went to see the Disney movie about the planet Earth, there is a scene where a polar bear goes after a sealion, and our vegetarian (then 12-years-old) screamed, “No! Go find some lettuce!” and our younger daughter (then 7-years-old) followed up with, “He’s just hungry! Let him eat!”
jerseygirl says:
“go find some lettuce” … made me spray hot tea everywhere
KeraLinnea says:
OH MY GOD. I just died reading that. That is the funniest thing I’ve seen, like, ever. “Go find some lettuce” …too funny.
Laura says:
My sister doesn’t eat any red meat or pork. My mom told her when she was little she was welcome to skip the meat but she had to add in an extra helping of the veggie to replace it. That could be carrots dipped in dressing, a small can of peas or whatever veggie and salad was already being offered that night.
Paige says:
Uff. Dang smart, inquisitive kids! While we are not vegetarians, two meals we’ve had success with with both kids (now 6 & 3, but these have been staples for about a year now) are “Pita Pizzas” and “Peanut Butter Noodles.” Pita pizzas are crazy easy – a lightly toasted pita, coated in hummus, then let the kids put on whatever chopped up vegetables they choose (red peppers, cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes are di rigeur here). Peanut butter noodles are soba noodles in a peanut butter ginger soy sauce business (I think ours is from the 15-Minute Vegetarian Cookbook?). Topped with vegetables of your choice and some scallions. We’ve also used this with leftover chicken, but you could definitely add tofu to get some extra protein in there. Good luck. Oh! And edamame – in pod only for my nerds – a fun, interactive source of protein!
Paige says:
Oh, and while it is so much easier said than done, we try to keep any reactions to eating/not eating to a minimum. We’ve found that if we celebrate the acceptance of a new food the buggers will decide to rebel and then hate it forevermore. And if we make too big an issue over not eating, they just stick to their guns that much more. You can’t win, you can only keep trying.
Jess says:
My daughter felt a little better about the whole meat eating thing after she learned that many animals actually eat other animals too. Not sure if that will help with Annie, but it made my Sophia feel okay about eating meat.
becki says:
JMO – too early to start that – don’t encourage it or you are going to be running a restaurant – maybe focus on not wasting what is eaten, the history of people providing for themselves and that you guys can keep talking about it until she is older etc. Later Annie will be old enough to decide this. At this age, this might affect her playdates etc. My niece is a vegetarian – was interested when younger but didn’t actually request to follow it until she was about 12.
Sarah T says:
I’m a vegetarian and have given my two kids the choice. We eat vegetarian at home, but allow them to eat meat out or at other people’s homes if they choose to when it is offered. My daughter at 3 had the same reaction to Annie when she realized meat came from animals. She has always eaten vegetarian. Two books we really like about vegetarianism for kids are Herb the Vegetarian Dragon and Tyrannosaurus Drip. If you like slow cooker meals, there is a great vegetarian cookbook Fresh from the Vegetarian Slow Cooker and the Molly Katzen kid cookbooks (honest pretzels, pretend soup) are vegetarian and fantastic for kids who like to cook.
My son, of course, loves all meat and wants to be a “meat eater” when he grows up.
MNMom says:
When my daughter was little, she loved meat – all kinds. We had never had the conversation about what meat was or how we got it. One day I had made lamb chops (her favorite). Out of the blue she asked, “Did this used to walk?” I then explained how we got meat and what it all was. She listened very closely and just kept right on eating the meat. Today, she still really likes meat.
Lisa F. says:
This animal-loving, picky eater struggles with her carnivorism every. single. day. I so want to become a vegetarian, but don’t like many vegetables, including beans (other than the green variety, of course). I’m trying to find a balance, and it’s definitely hard.
Jordan says:
I could have written this paragraph, word for freakin’ word.
I wish I was less of a meat eater and more of a veggie eater, but I can’t stand the taste of most veggies…I’m working on finding a middle ground, but it’s so hard.
Christian K Bruce says:
There are SO many meat substitutes you can use if you don’t like veggies. I have been a vegetarian for going on 7 years now and I don’t care for veggies either. There are vegetarian ground beef substitutes (which I think are the easiest stepping stones to going vegetarian), chicken breast substitutes, bologna substitutes, hot dog substitutes and on and on and on. You can most definitely be a vegetarian without liking veggies! And you can keep making your favorite dinners, just switch to the faux meats. Good luck!!
bellaf says:
But why? Sorry, don’t want to start a debate, but I just don’t understand why trade real natural food – including real meat – for industrialized monstrosities. It’s ok if you’re an adult and choose it, I guess, but please don
bellaf says:
But why? Sorry, don’t want to start a debate, but I just don’t understand why trade real natural food – including real meat – for industrialized monstrosities. This is not being a vegetarian, it’s eating synthetic food. If you’re an adult and want to do it, ok, I guess, but please don
bellaf says:
Oops, sorry, my computer has the hiccups.
Just to finish the last sentence: please don’t do that to children.
Aubrey says:
My 5year old still asks all those questions. One day we were talking about different animals that you can eat and she saw a bird and asked if it was edible and I said I suppose you could eat it. She told me eating birds was gross. I told her that chickens are birds and she eats chicken. She told me. Yeah cause chickens are delicious I like to eat all their legs. But without the feathers.
That girl and Annie I think would get along fabulously.
kristin says:
Yes! Go, Annie!
How to raise vegetarian kids: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129137062
And don’t let anyone tell you she won’t get enough protein! Americans are OBSESSED with OVEReating protein! It’s bizarre, really. As a matter of fact, this article came out today: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/04/high-protein-diet-risks_n_4896501.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063
In other words, maybe the whole family should join Annie’s new food plan! (I’m helpful. )
Jackson says:
I agree. What MOST people do not understand is that protein can be found in most vegetables. Eating protein does not have to come from animals…ever.
Jena Healy says:
^^^ Best post yet!
Susan says:
I’ve known of a kid who saw a deer on the back of someone’s truck one time; she asked why they had it, and her mother said it was for eating. Her daughter was quite shocked, as that was news to her! Other than having her animal toys go through a few imagined story lines of being hunted and eaten (probably her way of understanding the process), she wasn’t bothered and kept eating meat.
Another kid ADORED animals, and she even wrote intensely about how wrong it was to kill animals, with little stories and illustrations. She was very adamant about this. Today, she’s an avid hunter with the same intense level of compassion and respect for animals.
I think a number of kids go through a phase like this, and whether or not it will stick can only be told in time. I would maybe try a few vegetarian meals (just for variety), but emphasize that animals do eat other animals to survive as well.
Jackson says:
I think you have confusing a picky eater, which she does not sound like, and a child who is deciding why she might eat or not eat certain foods such as animals, which is typical at age 4 when kids begin doing a lot of questioning. There are several books on children and vegetarianism or veganism. I would honor why she may not like to eat animals (I don’t) and if the next day she wants a burger, so be it.
As for balancing a diet, the books on vegetarianism and veganism have a lot of good information. It never hurts to cut back on animal fat.
ella says:
As a vegetarian for many years, I’d hesitate to label Annie at this young of an age. She might feel regret or even ashamed when she does want to eat that hot dog or chicken, as it’s not something she’s expected to be doing if she is a vegetarian. At this point, it’s probably better to include her into the dinner making process and create menus with her early in the week. Good for her, though! She’s already a thinking critically– not an common feat for a 4 year old!
Kerri says:
I went vegetarian a few years back and started buying only humanely raised meat for the kids and husband. Two years ago my oldest finely got the connection between why I don’t eat meat and now the three youngest have figured out meat=dead animals. While they aren’t completely meat-free, I can see them headed that way (to the complete dismay of my husband). I am fine with that if that is the choice they make, but oh boy, has supper time become a pain, trying to give everyone their choice on what they choose to consume while still making sure everyone is getting their protein from other places. But it is a relief to the pocketbook when you don’t have to spend half of your income on humanely-raised meat. Why is it so expensive to treat livestock humanely?
K.B says:
AGREE! Why do I have to pay someone more to be nicer to animals? I am a vegetarian at heart.
Beth says:
Beans are an easy, tasty and healthy alternative to meat. My kids love them!
ldoo says:
I just talk about all the different things animals eat and that we’re no different. I can’t foresee allowing my 4yo (and 5yo) to have that much say in what they eat right now. It would open the floodgates! They’re already picky.
Lisa says:
I have a meatless kiddo as well (she’s 3). My cooking’s all about easy (and balanced of course), especially for breakfast and lunch. Breakfast is usually oats with frozen fruit and a sprinkling of flax meal stirred in at the end. She loves nuts, so that’s easy for snacking – trail mix or just cashews or cashews + Os. I’m all for the plate o’ randomness for lunch. If we don’t have dinner leftovers, a pb&j or cheese+crackers or chickpeas with salad dressing or black beans (plain or with salsa), plus some chopped fruit and veggies (banana, avocado, tomatoes, carrots, cucumber, apples, whatever). Annie’s Alphabet Soup is so tasty it’s one of my favorites! My kid loves frozen peas and green beans and will eat those any time. (I gave them to her in desperation when she was teething, and she’s loved them ever since!) If Annie’s into chicken nuggets, Quorn has really good meatless nuggets and patties. My meat-loving dad and brother prefer them to the meaty versions! I serve the patties with spaghetti and sauce. I absolutely know how to make tofu delicious, so if you’re going in that deep, let me know and I’ll hook you up. Email if you have any questions, I love talking about this stuff.
missy says:
I’m gonna sum up my comment to simply say this. Your problem, she’s entirely too smart for her own good. This combined with the fact that she’s gorgeous, and has an amazing personality. What you have here, my friend, is the perfect storm. Best to settle in and watch the fun. And another thing, is James always that happy. He has to be the happiest, most adorable guy I’ve ever seen.
AmyT says:
My 4.5 year old has asked the same questions and wanted to know why we would eat a cow. She sees them in the fields near our house so I think it can be confusing to tie the animals she sees with the burger on her plate. But,while she’s not the biggest meat eater, I think it has more to do with being a picky eater than any real objections to eating animals. She’s never turned down bacon or a chicken nugget or any other type of meat that she thinks is yummy. I think 4 is too young to limit the types of food she eats or to eliminate something like meat completely from her plate. If my 13 year old wanted to become a vegetarian (and it wasn’t just to get out of eating something for dinner that wasn’t her favorite – “Baked chicken again! Ughh, I want to become a vegetarian” ) I would support her. But for my 4 year old I don’t think that’s a decision she’s able to make now.
Katrina says:
My sister has three children. Her oldest is 8, and about a year ago he declared that he will no longer eat meat. (this happened after a trip to the zoo – he came home and said he loved animals, and he does not want to eat them anymore.) So, my sister and their family eat meat, but the oldest gets something different. Seems like work to me, planning a special meal for just one kid, but my sister says it’s not a big deal at all. If they are having spaghetti and with a meat sauce, she just makes a sauce without meat for her oldest son. If they are having chicken, rice and vegetables…then he eats just the rice and vegetables. I supposed he gets his protein in other foods. She said she really had no choice in the matter, because he flat out refused to eat meat. So if they do that, then what else are you going to do, right?
Anna says:
My cousin’s two kids couldn’t be more different. Her son probably never really ate meat (my cousin is herself a vegetarian, so she offered them fish and chicken when they were younger, but her son never really liked it), but her daughter got a taste for it (namely, ham) in kindergarten because some kid brought it in for the whole class (it was “H” day, apparently, and the kid brought in ham, which is ridiculous, right?!). Ever since then, her daughter has been ALL ABOUT meat, including saying “Yummmmmmyyyy” when they went to a petting zoo and walked passed the piglets. Kids are hilarious.
Courtney says:
I believe you are in So Cal like me so if you decided to make dishes with no meat check out Trader Joes. Near the luncheon meat and hummus, they have a variety of non-meat products that often look just like meat. I use the “chicken” strips in lots ways, Italian “sausage” and the refrigerated organic tofu burger patties are really good too! My meat-loving fiance enjoys all the meat-less products I buy for myself.
Glenda says:
My daughter was 6 when she saw me one day cleaning and prepping steak. Since then she refused to eat steak. She will only eat boneless chicken (nothing w/ a bone) No pork chops. Loves veggies and salads. You will just follow Annie’s lead. Can’t force her to eat something she doesn’t want, like or feels like it’s an animal and it’s sad for her. I just followed my daughter’s lead.
moll says:
As a long-time vegetarian, I’d say it’s best to:
– Follow Annie’s lead (as you already are!). Let her ask questions, and answer them honestly.
– But, you don’t need to decide that she’s a vegetarian now. Follow her cues but don’t label her, so she doesn’t feel bad if she changes her mind. When a little one hears you say “Annie doesn’t eat meat now” she can read that as “Annie can’t eat meat now” and feel uncomfortable telling you that actually, she does feel like eating that chicken today.
– Educate yourself (again, you’re already right on it!), but unless Annie ASKS, there’s no need to explain what is and isn’t meat – unless she specifically says “I don’t want to eat any meat/ anything that comes from animals” – then it’s obvi not cool to give her something she doesn’t realize is meat.
– As someone said upthread, pay no mind to the people who will tell you “won’t somebody please think of the PROTEIN!”. She’ll be fine.
– Prepare for the long haul or the short run. I know a girl who decided not to eat animals in preschool and she’s in her 30s now, and still veggie. And I know a LOT more people of all ages who went vegetarian for a week and quit.
These all seem to be what you’re already doing, just wanted to give a little affirmation that the path you’re taking is EXACTLY what I’d tell someone in your position to do.
Steph says:
I just want to say that this is a great post! As a new parent, I have never thought about my son questioning food in the future. All the commenters have given great ideas and advice!
sandra says:
My almost 13 y/o has been a picky eater forever. She lived on mac & cheese at Annie’s age. We’d take M&C with us to restaurants, friends houses. Eventually she would eat chicken Dino’s and then as she got older moved to chicken legs, then later she’d eat breasts or thighs, as long as it’s not seasoned too much. She’s only just started eating beef over the past 2 years. Tacos & hamburgers mostly. Won’t touch ham or most pork but does likes bacon. She only likes a couple veggies too. Refried beans in a burrito is okay, but not everyday. She eats toquitos (sp) when we eat something for dinner she won’t like, but she’s getting sick of those now too. Thankfully she’s tall and slim or her diet would pose a problem. We do sometimes make extra chicken for her so its on hand when we have meat she won’t eat, but she’s getting sick of chicken. It’s hard for her, and us sometimes, but we deal.
SA says:
Maybe watch The Lion King with her and explain the circle of life? explain that animals eat other animals to survive, and humans are just another type of animals, so we eat other animals to survive. Tell her there are certain animals we don’t eat (i.e. lions and tigers and bears) but there are some who even though we love and care for, we need for our own survival too.
Just a thought?
bellaf says:
Exactly.
tania says:
Lol!!! My 11 year old goes back and forth on meat and has for several years. I won’t let her go vegetarian quite yet as I still feel she needs to experience all food. Just the other day she mentioned vegetarian and supper in one comment I said we were having bacon sammiches for supper and she decided meat wasn’t so bad. Her two fall backs are steak and cheeseburgers….lol….just keep offering her different foods and let her figure out what she likes…I am also that parent that believes a child knows when they are full so a clean plate is not command for my darling girl child…..she is also an animal lover to!! Good luck!!! and this stage is easy peasy compared to what is coming…..:-)
Bianca says:
I’ve followed a mainly veggie diet for years. Let me know if you ever want recipe ideas – I can send you loads
SA – we don’t “need” to eat animals to survive. If that were true, all the vegetarians would be dead.
Stacey says:
Good on you for being supportive! As a now-vegetarian who experimented with non-meat-based diets throughout my life, I can attest that having a supportive parent would have made all the difference.
Jeanie says:
Hoo boy! I hope this doesn’t last too long. I’d hate to be wracking my brain to come up with balanced meals for everyone every day sans meat. It’s bad enough that my dogs are picky and won’t eat dinner half the time. Do you think it might have anything to do with my adult son feeding them bites of his dinner? Hmmmm?
Alexis says:
I asked a question like that when I was about 5, and now, at 42, I’ve been a vegetarian for 37 years, through two pregnancies, even! My parents were big into meat, and I was expected to eat everything else, and my mom would give me some cheese, or beans or an egg (this was in the 70s/early 80s and even though we lived in So.Cal, there weren’t a ton of soy options already). My kids like meat, and know that I don’t eat it. I think my parents did me a HUGE service by being matter-of-fact and non-judgmental. I figured out chicken first, and like you with Annie, they didn’t go out of their way to tell me everything that came from animals, but when I asked, they were honest. Over the course of about six months, I became totally meat free. I just waited a really long time to ask about bacon!
Paula says:
My son once said he was done with eating meat. We told him that was his choice. When we went to McDonald’s for a meal he wanted chicken nuggets and I said “No, they are made from meat.” He said “No they ain’t.” Well, he was basically right so we ordered them. He eats meat now but he was like your Annie – didn’t want to eat animals.
Michelle says:
My now 11 year old daughter has been a strict vegetarian since she was 7. My husband and I and our three other kids are not vegetarians. It was an adjustment at first to adjust to her needs, but now it’s just part of how our family works.
She’s also a little save-the-planet hippie and gently reminds all of us to turn off lights, stop wasting water, the list goes on and on. Being a veggie-girl really seems to fit with her kind, peaceful personality and we fully support her.
I love when kids start to form their own ideas/beliefs. So cool.
Kelly says:
My husband and I have been vegetarian for twenty plus years and vegan for over two. All three of my kids have been strict vegetarian since birth, and now are in varying stages of leaning towards being vegan.
My kids are now 17, 12 & 7, and they have never wanted to eat meat and agree with Annie, they like animals. Watching Finding Nemo was great for them as the sharks said fish are friends not food. My 12 year old daughter has twice now ordered something from a restaurant that ended up having chicken in it–you would have thought she was having her arm cut off with the screaming she was so upset (luckily it was at home).
I think a lot of kids don’t naturally want meat. I know lots of friends who have told me that their kids wouldn’t eat meat.
With that said, there are lots of options–Morningstar Farms is probably one of the easiest as they have chikn nuggets, meatballs and other substitutes. Gardein is very yummy and is vegan (Morningstar Farms has eggs in their products). She can still eat the things she likes without having meat. My niece actually liked the Morningstar Farms nuggets better than real chicken nuggets. And their sausages are awesome.
Have fun with it–there are some great children’s vegetarian cookbooks–including one with Herb the Dragon.