I could name a million more daughters, but when it comes to picking a name for a son…it’s been hard. We’ve fallen out of love with the boy name we had picked out for Madeline and Annabel, so we started this pregnancy at square one.

I have downloaded a bunch of Baby Name apps, flipped through books, and scrolled through websites. I am not exaggerating when I say that I have easily looked at two or three thousand different names. I’ve found probably fifty names I like. I’ve written them out with our last name, googled the full names, researched meanings. I’ve ranked them. And Mike has shot down almost every single one.

Mike either has a bad association with a name, or has a cousin with that name, or doesn’t think it sounds good with our last name. He thinks boy names should sound strong, but shouldn’t get him picked on (he says Spohr is a hard enough last name to deal with). He wants a name that would sound just as good on a quarterback or a class president or a spelling bee champion – a leader’s name, a name that compliments but doesn’t distract. And I, of course, want that too, but we seem to be slightly apart on what that name would be.

Now, I will say that we have agreed on a first and middle name for The Acrobat, and they are good names. They go well together and well with Madeline and Annabel. I was really happy with them at first, but now I have doubts. I worry that maybe we settled on the names because they were the only ones we both liked. And I think that maybe I am uncertain because I haven’t had that flash of YES! THIS! like I did with Madeline and Annabel. Their names sounded perfect from the moment we said them out loud. This name IS good…but still I hesitate.

I never understood how people could go to the hospital and not know what they were going to name their baby. I’m a planner by nature, so I couldn’t comprehend how anyone could go nine months and not come to a decision. But now I get it. I don’t want name regret. My uncertainty is making Mike a little crazy, but I just want to be sure. And I have no idea how I’ll suddenly know I’m sure…but I’m hoping I’ll have a moment of clarity before he’s born.

I never thought naming a child was hard, but I never had to name a boy. Until now.