I don’t know what day or time it is. The fact that I’ve been awake for 27 straight hours may have something to do with it.

After we left New York City, we stopped in Ohio to spend sometime with the Family Gibbons. And like the last time I was there with my child, Annie decided to turn into a hot snotty crazy mess. It’s like she finds out that we’re going to be with my friends and goes, “I WILL SHOW YOU WHO IS BOSS” and then whips herself into a tizzy. Or maybe she just wants to be the biggest diva in the room. YOU WIN ANNABEL.

It really shows my friends what a happy, well-adjusted child I have. Not.

You know, I actually think I’ve been awake for longer than 27 hours. See, Annie decided to not sleep our last night in Ohio, and then we had to get up at 4 am for our flight. I could figure this out but there is math involved.

After the bumpiest flight ever, we are back in Los Angeles. At least I think it’s Los Angeles, at the airport I just got in the first car that would stop for me. We may have been kidnapped.

The baby is really taking this diva thing to the max, and is actually sick. Yes, she just got off of antibiotics less than a week ago. And, now Mike is sick. That means when Annie cries I can’t roll over and pretend I don’t hear it (not that I would ever do that, clearly the exhaustion is talking). And the poor diva is super-stuffy and has a cough, so she can’t sleep unless she is ON me.

So here I sit, wearing my baby accessory, wondering if I can get away with turning on the air conditioning. Also, she snores. So does Mike, AND the dog. I am NEVER going to get to sleep.

How can I decongest this child? It’s like she gets sick over holiday weekends on purpose.  DIVA.

Is decongest a word, or did I make it up?

Rigby is talking to me. I might be hallucinating.